The Never-ending Story Thread

[Semievil333]

Sem: "well you all speak for yourselves, cuz I got a body that's hard as a rock."
Geb: "I don't suppose that's because you turned us all INTO rocks..... geez fool...."

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Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Krig looked around at the dramatic scene which had been stalled for the last several posts.

Krig: "When something gonna happen? Krig bored."

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My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING

[Semievil333]

Krig becomes so bored that he asks sem's rock to conjure up some beer. Suddenly a staff drops from the sky and strikes one of the boulders, causing it to emit a fountain of beer. Uncle Tusk joins in and soon night falls, along with Tusk and Krig who are too smashed to even sit up. In the morning the ground is coverd in small, white mushrooms, which they gather quickly and the rest evaporate. Thus smashed, they approach Totally, who draws up a deep black cloud around them. When the cloud lifts, Krig and Tusk are standing in full wedding dresses, veils and all, wearing enough make-up for 20 people.

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Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Krig: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH--ooh, my head..."

Krig runs very slowly away from Totally, careful not to bump his head. Totally watches him in fury.

Whatsisname--Totally's henchman : "He's gradually getting away!"

Totally:"He'll be back. He's got to save the world yet."

Totally looks around at the mysterious boulders, and Uncle Tusk, who was dead drunk again.

Totally:" The do-gooders have left. I'm gonna go take over the world or something."

Totally and Sem's dad:" Oh, what the heck, I'll help you, son."

Totally: "I'm a girl, Dad."

Dr.Evil:"Sure, whatever."

Farr:"Hey, wait for me!"

Totally:"We haven't gone anywhere yet."

Farr:"Oh."

Shaft:"I will use my ultimate force pow--er--free your min--er--I'm gonna kick you guyses buts!"

Unfortunately, Shaft speaks to empty air, as the dastardly trio has left, leaving him dumbfounded, and looking like an idiot!

Shaft: "Forget the bad guys, I got someone else to kill!"

Now, Shaft, you musn't act rashly!

Shaft: "Oh, yeah?"

You can't get me anyway, I'm dead!

Shaft:"I'll find a way. If it takes the rest of my life." (exit stage left)

Gebohq:"Now might be a good time to go a-questing for the legendary sword, Malorkus.(hint hint)"

Otter:"Yes... overcome by sudden urge to quest... must quest..."

Will these unlikely heroes ever go questing? Or will they stay here forever, like a bunch of poorly disguised boulders? Tune in next post to find out!


[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited June 19, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

Geb: Yes, let's go a-questin'. Sem, change us back, then we can be off!

Sem: Er....

Geb: What?

Sem: *looking sheepish* I forgot the spell.

Geb: Urgh...this is going to be difficult. Let's rock and roll!

Maybe: Oh man, Geb! Did you have to make such a bad joke?

Geb: What joke?

Maybe: *sigh* Nevermind.

*The companions slowly rock themselves until they start rolling in unison down a dirt path.*

Ante: *mubling* Remind me to kill Sem with the next ajckhammer we find...

[Semievil333]

Sem: "Wait, I know! I just need to get to that tome......."
Otter: "Bad news Sem..... Rocks move DOWNhill.... like we just rolled..... the tome is up at the TOP of the hill."
Sem begins cursing randomly, invoking every evil god known, and in the process conjures 13 demons, 27 fiends, 36 dervishes, 3 pit lords, an arch devil, and 54 fire elementals.......
Maybe, looking around at all these new arrivals: "Uhhmmmm Sem..... you know demons fiends and devils have a thing about clerics and paladins right? And you do remember that Geb is a paladin, and remember especially that I am a cleric right?"
Sem: "................"
Maybe: "Sem?"
Sem: "Fuq."
Ante: "Well it could be worse, we all still look like rocks right?"
Just then the illusion spell wears off. Maybe smacks Ante in the back of the head.
Sem: "Fuq."
Otter: "I think whenever Sem says that word it's not a good thing is it?"
Ante: "Well look on the bright side of things.... Sem's got control of the elementals at least."
The elementals made short work of the demons and fiends, and had smashed all but one of the dervishes when the pit lords cracked thier whips and the arch devil gestured with it's scythe and the elementals' embers died.
Sem: "Fuq."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Otter:"Please, please go away, Mr. Demon, we want to save the world..."

Just then Krig comes running back into the scene, his headache gone. He takes one look at the situation, then, without stopping, turns around and runs away.

[Krig the Viking]

(Looking back over this story, one thing is certain: There's no way on this earth that any human being could possibly predict where the "plot" has gone...)

[Semievil333]

Sem the writer: "Oh I think I know where the plot has gone....."
*an ominous "flushhhhhh" is heard in the background*

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Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[TheOtter]

*As everyone stands there frightened Otter gets an idear*

Otter:"Oh yeah I forgot."

*Otter waves his hands around and sends the demon through a vortex*

¤Everyone sighs in relief¤

Maybe:"Uh..Otter? Where exactly DID you send the demon?"

Otter:"Hmm...to tell ya the truth I don't really know..."

Ante:"Oh well thats just fuqing great! You don't even know WHERE you teleport people! What the heck are you gonna do next tel--"

Otter(w/ an evil grin):"Would like to find out WHERE he went, Ante?"(points to still open vortex)

Ante http://forums.massassi.net/html/eek.gif"Uh...hehe...thats Uh, quite alright."

Otter:"Alright then. Lets leave it @ that then."(closes vortex)

¤Flash to a Canadian Parliement hearing¤

Head Barrister:"Would the real gentleman from Saskatchewan please stand up, please stand up."

Head Barrister(to himself):"They really need to fix that echo problem."

Man from Saskatchewan:"Yes, thank you sir. I would like to bring to attention line 47 of paragraph 8 of the Candian Constitution which states that under certain conditions a Canadian citizen can hunt beaver during the mon--"(interrupted by giggling)

Man from Saskatchewan(angrily):"Prince Edward Island! New Brunswick! What seems to be so funny?"

*Man from PEI and man from New Brunswick look @ each other and start to giggle again*

Man from Saskatchewan(even angrier):"Well?! What is it?"

Man from PEI:"Its just that you uh said,(man from New Brunswick starts to laugh again)...'beaver'.

*Whole Parliement starts to roar in laughter except for the angry man from Saskatchewan and the man from Quebec that accidentally left his ear translator @ home*

Man from Quebec:"Quá? Je c'est con bleu? Saque pon le bute!"

*Suddenly a vortex appears on the floor and the demon is thrown out of it*

Man from Quebec(stands up):"Je se con le 'BEAVER'!"(and starts to laugh histerically)

*Demon cocks his head @ the man from Quebec, points his finger @ him, instantly exploding him in a flame of fire*

¤Everyone in Parliement starts to clap¤

*Smiling Head Barrister takes off wig and places it on demon's head, demon looks around and grins*

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---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Krig the Viking]

(Woa... coool, Otter. :laughing )

Krig poked his head up over the hill. Seeing that the big large scary guys were gone, he and Uncle Tusk came walking down the hill. Krig put his axe and shield away.

Krig: "Hello. Krig miss anything?"

[Semievil333]

Sem: "Cute trick Otter, but what do you plan to do about the devil and the pit lords there?"
Otter: "Shut up!"
Sem: "It's a fair question!"
Otter: "Shut up! I'm gonna grow ferns in your armpits if you don't stop!"
Sem: "You shut up, mister big, girly druid man, with your fancy plants and animals!"
Sem suddenly turns into a tree.
Maybe smacks Otter, makes him turn Sem back, then smacks Sem.
Maybe: "Cut it out, we gotta deal with them there guys first, then you can turn each other into rocks and stones and sing all you want!"
Ante shoots an odd glance at Maybe.
Maybe: "Shut up!"
Just then Geb, who nobody had even realized was fighting the lords and the devil collapsed from exhaustion, the whoop-*** sword having totally smacked 2 pit lords.
Maybe: "Crap!"
Sem runs and gets the enchanter's tome and ripps out a page of cleric notes for Maybe, who then mumbles a few things, and Geb returns to full strength.
Sem realizing that the devil could simply decide that the game had gotten old at any moment grabs Maybe's morningstar and gives it to Geb, who bashes the remaining pit lord into oblivion and turns on the devil, swinging at it and missing horribly. As it sings through the empty air it lets out a cold, piercing note and the archdevil is instantly covered in a shimmer of crosses, stars and holy artifacts.
Otter: "Whoa"
Ante: "Whoa"
Maybe: "Whoa"
Geb, covered in chared devil guts:"dude..... WHOOPASS!!!"
Sem, explaining: "When I found that thing in Morris' stomach it was a mere lump of steel, sitting next to a relic. I slaved many long hours over a hot forge to craft it to perfecti...."
Maybe: "Bullsnot!"
Sem: "Ok, ok, it was next to Geb's armor of Or, and I just thought it looked badass and might do something cool."
Ante: "Hey, you think that might work on Totally?"
Sem: "Nah, she's much too powerful, she'd simply resist."
Geb: "Hey..... maybe Porkus Malorkis does something similar? Only much more potent of course"
Sem: "Hmm.... possible..... Maybe, check that page of cleric notes for any references for the Porkus..... There's a few more pages here too....."
Sem hands Maybe 5 more pages from the tome......

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

(Um... my last post goes after Sem's.)

Maybe looked through the pages of cleric notes, and found something.

Maybe:"It says here that the weilder of the Porkus Malorkus will turn into a pig."

Geb:"What? What use is a sword that turns the weilder into a pig?"

Krig:"Sword get food."

Maybe flipped through the pages. "Oh, no, it only turns the weilder into a pig if he's unworthy to weild the Porkus Malorkus."

Geb:"Whew, I didn't want to turn into a pig!"

Uncle Tusk:"Hey, who said you were going to weild the Porkus Malorkus?"

Geb:"Well, I'm the big knighty crusader type guy, I get to weild the big legendary sword! You're just a barbarian anyway!"

Uncle Tusk:"I didn't say I wanted to weild it!"

Maybe:"I've found what the Malorkus does! It... kills evil bad guys."

Sem:"Well, that's informative!"

* * *

Head Barrister:"All in favor of voting Mr. Demon to the position of Head Barrister?"

Parliment ppl:"Aye!"

Head Barrister:"All opposed?"

Man from Newfoundland:"Nay"

Demon looks at man from Newfoundland.

Newfie:"uh, Aye!"

Head Barrister:"It's unanimous! Mr. Demon just took my job!"

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING

[Gebohq]

Geb: So where is this elusive pig-turning sword?

Maybe: Um..*flips through her book* it says here that the Porkus Malorkius can be found in an Imperial-occupied fortress...right over there.

*As she emphisised teh word "there", she pointed at the looming fortress next to them, which was huge yet box-like in apperance and appreared to be made of teh same material all over.*

Sem: Looks like the works of a bad editor--er, I mean, constructor here.

Ante: So, are we going in?

Sem: I don't see why not. It can't be that bad...

*Five minutes later, Sem, Ante, Maybe, Geb, Otter, Krig and Uncle Tusk are surrounded by innumerable stormtroopers, AT-ST's, and more in the distant rooms, all shooting at them.*

Sem: Yeup, definately a bad editor. Time for cheat mode, I'd suggest you all do teh same.

*Sem whips out a keyboard from his pocket and starts typing in console commands.*

[Krig the Viking]

Krig stared at the big guys in white armour, and the large, moving ostriches made of metal. He looked at the others typeing things into keyboards. He looked at his axe because it was so pretty. He then looked at the guys in white armour again, and noticed that one was futily trying to walk through a wall. Then Krig snapped. Drawing on the insane powers of the Berserker rage, Krig charged forward, brandishing his axe. He hacked a guy in white armour's head three times. Nothing happened. Krig looked around in bewilderment.

"Oh, no! " Gasped Sem. "The worst weapon of all! Bad Lag!"

[Semievil333]

Geb: "No, hard as it is to belive, it's not the lag..... they just really are that dumb..... like cockroaches, can live 3 days with thier heads chopped off."

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Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

*Surrounded by brainless stormies on all sides, our plucky heroes needed an escape route, and fast.*

Sem: Hey wait! I have an idea! Activate the SPORK PATCH! *trumpets blare*

Otter: Um..what's that gonna do for us?

Sem: Make things a bit more fun...ok. Everyone should have a grappling hook. Now, everybody shoot teh grapple to the person next to you.

*Everyone grapples as so, being immediately drawn to that person. Sem jumps, and as a result, everyone else jumps too. Not having touched the ground, Sem uses his momentum to push his weight towards the door up in thhe center of the wall.*

Ante: Um..What's a door doing in the middle of the wall?

Geb: A newbie made this place.

Ante: Oh...

*The group makes it to the door, and as they walk through, thousands of turrents begin to shoot them.*

Sem: Oh what the hell..."jediwannabe on", "raccoonking", "deeznuts, deeznuts, deeznuts, deeznuts" "red5", "wamprat",a nd..oh just for fun, "slowmo 1"

Maybe: What the hell was that all about?

Sem: You now all ahve incvicibility, full force, all weapons, all items, and slow motion activated.

Ante: I think we need to cue in some music right about now...

*As the group blows away stormies, turrets, and such, "spybreak" by propellerheads plays in the background. When they finish, Sem takes off the slowmo code.*

*They all then entered a room full of rubber duckies, armed with fricken laser beams attached to their heads.*

Tusk: What's wrong with this picture?

[Antestarr]

*The daring companions stare at the newest threat to their very existances. The duckies rear back and the lasers begin to glow menacingly. Suddenly, they fire... then stop, inches from the party.*

Geb: What a foolish editor! He put a friggin one way force field between us and the lasers!

*The party gives a sigh of relief. Ante, spotting a convenient mass of boulders strung up by a flimsy net hanging above the duckies, tosses a dagger up to cut the net. The duckies are crushed in the sudden landslide.*

Maybe: Well, I guess we can go on now. Let's climb the boulders to that ornately decorated door with the sign above it that says "This way to the sword".

All: OK!

Ante: Just who did design this level, anyway?

*A neon sign on the wall brightly proclaims "designed by Semievil333"*

Sem: Um... Ok... I was young, inexperienced, and drunk. So sue me.

*Resisting the urge to call their lawyers, the rest continue on through the doorway towards what they seek. They enter a room with lighting shining on a single spot. In this spot is a case. In this case is a strangely decorated weapon, with the end consisting of a curved bowl-like scoop with four prongs protruding from the end.*

Tusk: Oops... we found the not-so-legendary "Sporkus Malorkus"...

[Semievil333]

Sem: "Sporkus? Sporkus..... hmm...."(flipping through the tome) "Sporkus, sporkus, sporkus, sporkus....... Ah! Sporkus! It says here that when the spork patch is activated the Porkus becomes the Sporkus, with a 5 minute self-destruct timer."
Sem: ".............."
Sem looks at his watch.
Sem: ".............."
Sem: "Fuq"
Geb: "I think that's our cue guys......... RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!"
The whole crew dashes off, with Krig using his smack-down-laying axe to cut a path in the opposite direction from where they had come. The sword explodes leaving the entire fortress in dust, but lo! in the center of the devastation sits the glorious Malorkus! Yes, the Malorkus, the legendary hilt of the Porkus and Sporkus alike, which will, when combined with the Porkus, become a sword of limitless power! Not to mention it will look badass!

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Krig continues to swing his axe at imaginary bad guys.

Krig: "Grr... no need big sword... Krig kill many things!"

Krig hits himself with the side of the axe and falls on his tailbone.

Krig:"Owowowowowow!"

Krig runs around in circles around the group.

Krig:"Owowowowowowow!"

Geb runs up to the Malorkus and goes to grab it.

Maybe: "Wait! If you're not worthy, you'll turn into a pig, remember?"

Geb: "Oh, come on, I'm the guy in the shiny armour, I'm the leader of the group, do you really expect me not to be worthy?"

Sem:"YOU'RE the leader of the group? What are you talking about?? I'M the leader of the group!!"

Tusk: "You're all crazy! I am the leader!"

Everyone looks at Uncle Tusk, then bursts out laughing. Except Krig, who is still running around, rubbing his tailbone.

Tusk, bewildered:"What?"

Geb:"You people can't see past your noses. I lead this group, and I'm gonna prove it!"

Geb grabs the Malorkus, and promptly turns into a pig.

Geb/pig:"Oink-Oops"

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My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING

[MaybeChild]

Being the only woman and therefore the only one w/ enough brains in the group, Maybe rolls her eyes and mutters something from a small prayer book, which turns Geb back into a person. She then snatches the Malorkus away from the shocked paladin and grumbles something about "typical men". Then she turs to the rest of the guys.

Maybe: "you guys keep this up and I'm gonna lead the friggin group. jeez, you might think we were actually ORGANIZED enough to have a leader..."

Sem: "Uh, Maybe, have you noticed anything?"

Maybe: "huh?"

Otter: "She didn't turn into a pig!"

Maybe: "oh..." suddenly becomes giddy "OH! GROOVY!"

Ante: "Uh-oh..."

------------------
"No matter what they tell you, you can never have too much sugar..." ~Michael (movie)

[TheOtter]

*Confidently in front of the group*

Otter:"Well you know guys it does make sense that Maybe gets the Porkus Malorkus--

Maybe(interrupting):"Why Thank You, Otter!"

Otter:"--because ii is fair that all members carry 'swords' w/ them @ all times." ;`]

*Everyone laughs except for Maybe who is scowling @ Otter for making such a Freudian comment and Krig just cause hes Krig*

Krig(confused):"Krig not have sword, Krig have axe."(points to axe)

*Guys start laughing even louder*

Maybe(looks exhausted of the men in the group):"really now..."

------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Semievil333]

Sem: "Ok..... now all we need is a new porkus blade..... Unless maybe wants to just beat totally to death with that hilt...."
Maybe: "ehhh, that's ok Sem, just make me a new Porkus."
Sem, muttering: "Make me a new Porkus she says, I wanna kill the monster she says, I wanna be the leader she says..... hmph! all this 'me! me! me!' <sigh>"
Sem cracks open the tome again.
Sem: "Ok Krig I need your axe, and Geb I'm gonna need one of your holy hand grenades."
Krig: "Krig like axe of smack-down! Krig no give!"
Sem calls forth a water elemental who envelopes Krig and gives Sem the axe.
Sem takes the hand grenade and the axe and puts them in a box, pulling out the pin just before closing it. The result is the Porkus.
Sem then combines it in a long, hard ritual with the hilt, yielding the great Porkus Malorkus.
Sem: "There, there you go, nice and pretty little sword."
Sem hands it to Maybe, with a pink lace frill put around the hilt and lining the blade's edges. The guys all begin to laugh hysterically again.
Maybe: "Hey Sem why didn't you turn into a pig?"
Sem: "I made it so I could hold it, I forsaw that problem...... Unfortunately I did not have the spells to make it wieldable handy..... thus the frilly lace..... clerics aren't any more worthy of wielding a slashing weapon than a paladin is to use a blunt weapon, which is why Geb went porky on us when he tried to use the hilt...... Geb would be able to wield it now had he not allready tried.... once the sword decides your unworthy you go pig...... period..... so try not to mess up the lace too much....."
Maybe mutters something under her breath about Sem, but it goes unheard.

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Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

(before Maybe's last post)
Geb the writer: Mmm..pork...
------------
Geb: Hey! Don't even think about it...

*The others grumble as they put away their knives, frying pans, and "Pork, the other white meat" cookbooks.*

Geb: I will use the power of the storywriter to change myself back....
-------------
*Hanging on the corner of the cubicle that Geb the writer works at is a sign that says "Off to lunch"*
-------------
Geb: ....the power has failed me! Maybe, quick! Change me before I eat myself!

(And after everyone's posts...)

Geb: So...we can go whoop Total-arse now?

Krig: Krig want to smash evil woman.

Sem: Yes, let's.

Maybe: Hey everyone, look! If you turn on the SPORK patch, you can get the Sporkus to appear on the other side. We have a duel-weapon malorkus now!

Ante: Um...Maybe, did you not remember the self-destruct on that thing?

Maybe: Oh yeah, oops. Well, at least the PPV ratings will jump now that we have a timer on this battle.

Sem: True true...

Otter: (to Geb) So what would happen if a pig wielded the Porkus Malorkus?...

(What do you mean the ending is predictable? Of course Totally isn't going to be impaled at the last second and then have the whole thing blow up...*Quick guys! Change the ending!*)

[Krig the Viking]

Krig:"Ending? ENDING? You read title of story again! No end! Only more!"

[Gebohq]

Geb: There there Krig, don'tcha worry. I was merely talking about the end of our little predicament.

*All the others mumble and grumble about having to write soem more.*

Geb: Come on guys! We still have to beat Massassi's largest post, which was almost 900 posts. We can do it!

*Protesters start to rise. They are proptly eaten by Morris the Cat.*

[Gebohq]

Geb: ...it's not a matter of where it grips it! It's a matter of pig/sword ratio! If the wielder of the Porkus Malorkis is more pig than human before wielding it, then naturally, the sword's pig-turning mechanism will backfire and turn itself into a pig.

Otter: Maybe all pigs are just worthy of wielding the sword--

*Terribly annoyed at the pointless debate, Maybe breaks in, swinging the Malorkis carelessly in front of them.*

Maybe: Look here, pigs can't wield swords! Don't you understand that?

*Several moments of silence followed, when the two began debating once again. Maybechild sighed, and after many days, the heroes finally reach abck to Stonehedge. On one of the big rocks, they find a note. Antestarr peels the Post-it note off the rock. It read:

"Got bored waiting. We're at Disney World if you want us." --The Evil family and Farr

Sem: I bet the kids are gonna love 'em. Come on, let's get a move on it.

*Meanwhile, in Disney World...*

Totally: But dad! I wanna ride Space Mountain!

Dr. Evil: Now now sweet daughter, you'll get your chance once daddy scares off the others in line.

Farr: (in a typical evil-voice) Wouldn't it be easier if we actually tried something that we know would work?

Dr. Evil: Shh! We're using the fleet of cyber-pigeons and ridiculously slow-charging laser, and that's final!

Farr: Bu-
Dr.: Sh!
Farr: B-
Dr.: Sh-sh!
Farr: Totally, he-
Dr.: Sh! --Sh! That was a pre-emptive "sh". Just remember, I got a full bag a "sh" with your name on it.

*Elsewhere in Disney world...*

kid with mother: Look mommy! That guy in the grey robe is funny looking!

mother: Now now, don't bother the bearded man.

man: My name is Merlin, ma'am, and I suppose you don't know where the nearest magical swirl back to Sol would be, would ya?

[Semievil333]

Sem the writer: "I'm bored.... this story is doing nothing but swimming around th-....."
*FLUSH*
Sem the writer: "Ok..... This story is gone!"
Sem suddenly changes back to his old skeletal self and opens his cloak to reveal an imense aresenal of weapons that look suspiciously like those of Half-Life.
Sem: "Ok.... here's the plan..... I shoot the crap out of anything and everything affiliated with Totally at disney world, Maybe gets Totally, Otter will make the roots of all the plants hold down Farr while Tusk, Krig, and Geb beat the living shazbot out of him and.... hmmm..... Ante.... umm.... can umm..... go on all the rides!!! Ok.... let's move!"
Maybe, seeing that Sem is now a skeleton reacts to her anti-undead impulses and expulses him without thinking.
Sem:<grunting in pain> "Ok.... new plan"<squeak>
Sem collapses into a heap of bones and ammunition covered by his cape.
Krig: "Ohhhhhh.... neato spell!!!!!"
Krig applauds enthusiastically.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited July 01, 2000).]

[Krig the Viking]

Krig stops clapping after five minutes. He looks around for a moment, then starts jogging down the road, away from the group. The group stops arguing and looks at him.

Geb:"Where's he goin?"

Pile-of-Sem:"I think he's goin to Disneyland to take on the Bad Guys."

Maybe:"But he's going in the wrong direction!"

Ante:"Maybe he's going the long way--around the world."

At the mention of 'around the world', Uncle Tusk whips out a yo-yo and does 'Around the World'.

Geb:"Maybe we should follow him."

* * *

Back in the Canadian Parliment, the banished Demon walks into the House of Commons.

Some guy in the Press box:"Hey, look, its the Prime Minister!"

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING

[Gebohq]

Ante: But we have less than five minutes before the Malorkus explodes! And we're gonna go the long way?

Sem: Yes. Come on, if the planet Namek can take a five minute explosion 20 episodes, each a half-hour long, why can't we?

Ante: You've got a point...

[Antestarr]

Ante: But... doesn't that mean we have like 15 more posts to go before the Malorkus explodes? There's no way we'd make it around the world in that amount of time! Heck, how many posts did it take us to realize that there really wasn't going to be a plot anyway? *refers to first page. notes darkside references and then time reversals and other such things*

Sem: Good point... maybe I can conjure up a super-sonic jet that seats more than two...

[TheOtter]

*Back in the Writer's Room all the writers are bickering @ each other and throwing crazy ideas out their heads*

Otter the Story Writer(wearing a bad mustache disguise):"Hello my name is Mr. Pennybags, and I think we should bring back Otter's Crows Nest and have several posts which Otter hosts wild & crazy Speakeasy parties w/ Flapper girls and Sem the Canadian bootlegger deliver his 'Spirituous beverages' for all to imbibe generously, w--

*Suddenly Maybe the Story Writer lunges @ Ott uh...er 'Mr.Pennybags' and starts to beat him senselessly w/ her notepad*

¤Otter the S.W. walks into Writer's Room¤

Mr.Pennybags(running out of room):"Sanctuary!"

Otter(running after him):"Uncle Pennybags! Come back!"

Maybe:"Uh,uh...what are you all looking @?!"

Krig S.W.:"Is this thread just one continous bad joke?"

Everyone(in unison):"Yes..."


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---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Krig the Viking]

Whilst everyone argues about what they should do, Krig actually gets to Disneyland, the long way. He looks around at all the people, and tries to walk in past the main gate.

Man at Gate:"Uh, sir, do you have a ticket?"

Krig:"Huh?"

Man, looking at Krig's clothing:"Oh, I see you're part of tonight's show! So sorry about that. Go right on in."

Krig walks into Disneyland. He quickly realizes that he cannot see for more than a metre in any direction, because everybody in Disneyland is at least two times as tall as him. He stumps off towards the tallest building he can see... the Tower of Terror.

Unfortunately, along the way, he is waylaid by several Donald Ducks, who think he is part of tonight's show, and think he is late.

* * *

In the Tower of Terror...

Totally:"I don't know what it is about this place, but I like it."

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING

[Semievil333]

A detached skeletal arm of Sem's crawls out from under the cloak and starts looking around for someone to fix him.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Ares]

Whoa? This thread still exists? COOL, in that case, (I have only read the 8th page so i dont have any clue whats going on.)

Ares arrives in disneyland in his Viper.


(LOOK WHOS BACK!)

------------------
Your Fired!

Fired hunh? Who else are you going to get to take a bullet for you, or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?

I'll tell you who... HIM!

WHO HOO!

Homer i don't think you were listening...

I said, WOO HOO.

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr takes a look at himself, realizing just how useless he is to the group. He then decides that it is the perfect time to change his class.*

Ante: Guys, I've made a big decision... In order to become more useful to you, I must become (dramatic pause)... A WEAVER!

*With that, a flash of light encases Antestarr and when it subsides he stands before them in a grey cloak, his face hidden from all of them. In one hand is his distaff, and in his head are many drafts to be used for the purpose of aiding them...*

Otter: A WEAVER?! AHAHAHAHHA! That's the stupidest class change I've ever heard of!

*Ante points the end of his distaff near Otter and the musical notes "E C E D" are heard. The sheer fabric of reality next to Otter begins to write and tear, creating a void into a nether realm which Otter is sucked into. Ante then points the distaff back at the hole and the notes "D E C E" are heard, as the hole quickly closes back up to a normal piece of space.*

Ante: Anybody else wanna have at my new class before the lawyers show up? Didn't think so. Onward, to Disneyland!

[herb]

Hebedee looks at a cow ranch and smiles..*starts to sing songs from Oklahoma the musical*

------------------
I'm better than you!

[Krig the Viking]

Krig sees Ares pull up to Disneyland in his Viper. Since Krig associates the name of the car with the actual animal, he automatically assumes that Ares is the evil henchman of Totally Evil and her father, Dr. Evil. However, the several Donald Ducks drag Krig into a door marked "Employees only", and drag him deep into the dank and spooky underworld of Disneyland.

Krig:"Where duckies take Krig?"

D. Duck 1:"You know where we're goin'. It's lucky you're in costume, or we'd be really late."

The several Donald Ducks + Krig emerge into the bright sunlight onto a stage. The curtain is down, and there are several other people in Viking costumes standing around, as well as a guy wearing a hat that says "Director".

Director:"Ok, peoples, take your places!"

The ducks shove Krig to a spot near the curtain, and run away.

Director:"Alright, raise the curtain! Break a leg, peoples!"

Krig clutches his leg and looks around wildly. Why did that man say to break his leg? Was it some kind of curse? Krig had to get out of here!

Just then, the curtain raised, and the people around him dressed in Viking suits--not very realistic Viking suits, Krig thought-- began to jump and dance around. Krig stood stock still, looking out over the massive crowd before him.

In the back of the crowd, Ares arrives.

Ares:"Hmmm... this storyline has changed drastically. When did Disneyland come in? Why are there dancing Vikings?"

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING

[Semievil333]

Hebedee- I do hate to break this to you.... But we already did that. On page 4 I think. Ares' clone sings "Oh what a beautiful morning".

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Ares]

Ares: "hmm, this storyline has changed too drasticly. Time take matters into my own hands." Ares whips out a cell phone and hits a button wich speed dials, his arena.
(Into cell phone) "Yes, hi this is me Ares im going to beat some idi- what? booked solid? Well then eliminate some app- BOOKED FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS?!?!?" (Thinks out loud.) "Its a pretty sorry day when i cant beat idiots up at my own arena." Now how will i solve this? I must eliminate the damning vikings, and remove Disneyland from the plot. But if i cant go to my arena then were?"

Ares hops in his Viper and goes driving to help him think. (That actually does help me think.)

(what will happen next? Will Ares suddenly become creative? Will the vikings be destroyed? Will he be able to improove the already twisted-beyond-the-point-of-any-chance-of-making-any-sense-whatsoever-plot?
Stay tuned......)

------------------
Your Fired!

Fired hunh? Who else are you going to get to take a bullet for you, or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?

I'll tell you who... HIM!

WHO HOO!

Homer i don't think you were listening...

I said, WOO HOO.

[MaybeChild]

Meanwhile, Maybe is staring down at the sad looking pile o' Sem.

Maybe: uh, sorry duder... *tries to think of a way to put Sem back together w/out being unholy about it* I don't think this is gonna work...

Geb (who has been crying over the dismemberment of his friend Sem): *sniff* Why can't you stop being holy for once and just be our friend? *sob*

Maybe: FINE! *rips off cleric's robes to reveal fitted blue suede pants, a deep purple silk shirt, and a black leather belt that matches her knee-high boots. a quill pen is stuck in the belt like a sword* Anybody know where I could find a decent duar?

All: a WHAT?

Maybe: oh Hell, I gotta do everything myself... *whips out a prayer book for one last time, chants something, and is answered with a lightning bolt that doesn't shock her but leaves a strange guitar-like instrument w/ two heart-shaped soundboxes and two sets of six strings hanging over her shoulder* Now this is more like it...

The others watch as Maybe starts strumming the duar, finds that it is horridly out of tune, and starts fiddling with the dutips and dudeeps. She finally gets the thing in tune and starts playing and singing "Get Up, Stand Up" by Bob Marley. As she sings, the pile o' Sem stirs and starts lifting into the configuration of a skeleton. Finally Sem is back to his old self, and Maybe stops singing.

Everyone: oooh....

Sem: Thanx Maybe. Just one question: why didn't I know you could do that?

------------------
"See me, feel me, touch me, heal me" ~ The Who's "Tommy"

[TheOtter]

*Otter is sent from Disneyland back to the floor of Canadian Parliement, by that time everyone has left and gone w/ the Honorable Mr. Devil to his knighting in Buckingham Palace*

Otter(looks @ self):"Sigh, I need to get out of these leather pants, I can't pull off a Morrisson impression even if I tried."

*goes to nearest Goth store*

¤2 HOURS LATER¤

*Otter walks out wearing his standard black outfit w/ black combat boots, black jeans, RAGE t-shirt, a black trenchcoat, and his signature black satchel*

Otter:"AHH...I feel so much better now..."

*looks around downtown Ottawa for a second*

Otter:"Where can I find cheap violence in Canada..."

¤Flash to Ottawa Senators game¤

Otter(w/ huge pretzel in one hand):"KICK HIS *** , KICK HIS *** !!!"



------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Krig the Viking]

Krig stood on the stage, with the guys in Viking suits dancing around him. Looking around, Krig spied a Donald Duck in the audience. Lunging forward with an ear-splitting scream of rage, Krig lunged at the Donald Duck, swinging his very sharp axe. He lopped off the furry bird's head, leaving a small, scruffy, bloodshot human head in its place.

Donald Duck guy:"HEY! Whaddaya doin, ya freak? Get lost!"

Krig:"AAAHHHHRRGH! You make Krig look like dancy man!!"

Security Guards grab Krig and begin dragging him away.

Meanwhile, in the Tower of Terror...

Dr. Evil:"I wanna go again!"

Totally:"There will be time for that later, father. I have come up with an evil and devious plan to take over this world. We will use this tower as our starting point."

Dr. Evil:"But I wanted to go on the rides..."

Totally:"Oh, there will be time for that, later. Mwa ha ha! Mwa ha ha ha! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!"

Will Totally Evil take over the world? Will our heroes stop them in time? Will Ares actally continue to be associated with this story? Will theOtter return from his voyage to Ottawa? Did you actually think that your favorite announcer was gone for good? All this and more, on the next installment of... NeverEnding Story!

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING
Member of the Rebellion against AC

[Gebohq]

*Finally, after much waiting in the line, the fighters decided they would simply yell "Free T-Shirts over there!" pointing away from the DisneyWORLD entrance (that's right, I never said Disneyland. They're more things in Disney World to do anywhos). The waiting crowd stampeded over in the general direction, and the fighters made their way in.*

*The group then found the place empty, save the Viking show that was going on, and a Tower of Terror with three dark warriors were exiting from.*

Maybe: Time to end this, once and for all!

Totally: Yes, you shall die indeed.

*The two women faced off, as the guys started to imagine the fight in a mudpool, with them only wearing bikinis, when they realized Farr was standing there also. Oh yeah, and Dr. Evil.*

*Farr simply patted Dr. Evil on the head as if to tell him to stay put, then slowly walked towards the other fighters. With Antestarr's new powers, things actually seemed to be level.*

*One minute on the clock before the Malorkus blew up, and Maybechild was stil battling TotallyEvil. Things were not looking good, as Totally was being truely evil and started pulling Maybe's long red hair.*

Maybe: OW! Hey! No fair!

*Meanwhile, teh fight against Farr *and Dr. Evil, yeah yeah* was not good either. It seemed as if these heroes would not win after all. But low and behold! Farr's girlfriend enters teh picture, and Farr becomes like jell-o in her presence. Behold, the power of woman.*

*Meanwhile, the seconds were counting down, and with only five seconds left, Maybe had tricked Totally into looking behind her, then jabbing the sword through her chest. Everyone began to run as after the timer went off, a small nuclear-liek explosion went off. The audience sees a white light, and when the light dims, we see a sun in a beautiful blue sky. The camera pans down to see...a pool! A large outdoor pool in a resort called "Atlantis", which had the motif of a ruined continent and looked strangly familiar to the JediKnight level.*

*The fighters are swimming in the pool, Maybechild in a modest bathing suit, as well as many of the others. Krig was wearing a speedo, and held two well-endowed women by his sides. Geb turned to Sem and spoke*

"How'd we get here?" Gebohq said.

"The storywriters must have needed a swimsuit edition," Semievil said. "but I'm not complaining...

What newfound adventures will they find at this resort? How many people will get layed? Tune in next time and find out...in the Shadows of Darkness! Err...I meant the Neverending Stor Thread! What exitement here will--

*Suddenly, Ares pulls up in his Viper, and in his godly presence, stopps the tropical music*

Ares: This story has gottent oo out of hand. I will put an end to this right now! As soon as I get my arena back...

Ante: Umm..didn't anyone tell you? It's in little bits and pieces now, haven been blown up when it crashed intot eh side of a Super Star Destroyer.

Ares: WHAT THE--!! Oh forget it! I'll work sense into this story somehow. Better start with these women... *a big smile grows across his face*

[Krig the Viking]

Krig looks at the two buxom blondes at his arms, and at the pool.

Krig:"Krig not know what happen, but Krig like!"

Krig looks down at what he's wearing.

Krig:"AAIIIEEEE!!!! Krig in underwear!!!"

Krig jumps into the pool. The blondes follow him.

Krig, glaring at Sem, Geb, and the others:"You look, I rip you bottom jaw off and use for ash tray."

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING
Member of the Rebellion against AC

[MaybeChild]

Meanwhile, MaybeChild is practically drowning as she goes into hysterical laughter. In extremely high spirits, she goes to get her duar and starts strumming away and singing "In a Speedo" by Stevie and the Satellites. (to the tune of "In the Ghetto" by Elvis Presley) Krig, unamused, splashes at Maybe, thereby water logging her duar. Frowning, Maybe puts down the instrument and jumps in the pool on top of Krig...

------------------
"See me, feel me, touch me, heal me" ~ The Who's "Tommy"

[Ares]

Ares pulls up to the pool because he can think of nothing else halfway decent to do in this story. However, coming in to fast, the Viper skids on some water,(Ares curses something about"No traction-control." hits a conviently placed ramp, and goes airborne, flying over the pool, and landing in the middle of the pool. The car sinks like a rock. However being immortal. Ares is more concerned with getting his $75,000 sportscar, out of the bottom of the deep end.

Both Krig and Mabyechild, more concerned with avoiding being crushed by a sinking car then fighting, swim out of the way and surface.

Ares continues to try to get his precious car out of the water, wich is currently bobbing upside down, with the hazard lights on. (Well i have to warn other drivers. http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif )

(I have some strange obsession with blinking/flashing lights, dont ask me why.)
(Will ares get his car out of the water? what will happen next? dont touch that dial..)

------------------
Your Fired!

Fired hunh? Who else are you going to get to take a bullet for you, or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?

I'll tell you who... HIM!

WHO HOO!

Homer i don't think you were listening...

I said, WOO HOO.

[Antestarr]

*Ante looks at the... uh... scenery, and suddenly has a brilliant idea.*

Ante *whipping out his book of patterns*: Which one is it... hmm... not straw into gold... not night vision... not terror... ah, here we are! Aphrodesia! Let's see. FGCE. Ok here goes.

*Geb, who is standing nearby, catches onto Ante's plan and immediately springs to action.*

Geb: Hey! No cheating. My paladin's code tells me to stop anybody from manipulating others for their own personal gain. Take this!

*Geb gives Ante a swift kick to the crotch as he is about to begin the draft. The sudden pain causes Ante to let a high C out of the distaff.*

Ante: Bugger off, holy boy!

*Ante gives Geb a couple of swift hits to the kneecaps with his distaff. Geb crawls off in a mixture of pain and embarrassment.*

Ante: Now, to continue. *pointing the distaff at a large group of women* *music* F G C...

*In a sudden flash of light, the women transform into a group of swans and fly off.*

Ante *being glared at by the other men*: Uh... oops?

*Will Ante's accidental weaving of the Transcendence thread be the final flaw in his carreer? Will the other characters beat him to a pulp? Will Maybe try to stop them from beating him to a pulp? Will the swans crap on Ares' overturned sport's car? This and more will be revealed in the next installment of the Neverending Story. This is Walter Kronchite, signing off.*

[Krig the Viking]

With the absence of the girls, Krig's mind suddenly clears. He remembers he was supposed to be saving the world from TotallyEvil, and looks around wildly for his clothes so he can get back to adventuring.

Spying his clothing and armour and Viking Helmet laying by a deck chair, Krig quickly dons them. Hefting his axe, he leaps into the pool, pushes Are's Viper out through the shallow end, hotwires it, and takes off, back towards Disneyworld.

In the resulting confusion, Ante sneaks off, grateful to only have two black eyes and twelve bruises.

Will Krig stop Totally? Or will someone else? Or will Totally win? Will Ares go on an insane rampage because Krig stole his Viper? Stay Tuned!

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING
Member of the Rebellion against AC

[Ares]

Ares goes into a furious rage, shouting "Ahhhhh my car!" being rich he hits a button, and a turbocharged Mercedes CL BRABUS comes roaring around a corner, and stops. He leaps in, and hits the gas, racing down the road at 190MPH. Ares being the person he is, pays no respect to the law taking a 25MPH curve at 125. Because he is only currently concerned with retaking his hijaked, car. He roars past cars like they are not moving, never dropping below 100.

He arrives at Disneyland, mere minutes after Krig does, only to find his precious car double parked with a windshield full of tickets. He jumps into his car, and floors it, planning to make Krig suffer a slow and painfull death for his crime. He floors it, roaring up and bashing through the gates, as people despirately jump for cover, out of his path.

Ares(evil and menacingly): "When i find you your gonna die you mother @#$&er!"

(How will Krig die? When will he die? Stay tuned....)

------------------
Your Fired!

Fired hunh? Who else are you going to get to take a bullet for you, or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?

I'll tell you who... HIM!

WHO HOO!

Homer i don't think you were listening...

I said, WOO HOO.

[Gebohq]

(NSP: hey Krig, I killed Totally in an earlier post and had Farr taken away by his girlfriend, buutt...)

*Krig, wandering in DisneyWORLD (geez, you guys still haven't caught on to that...I think you're doing it just to piss me, er..Geb the writer off), thinks to himself how much less magical the place looks when it looks like a huge crater, having had a nuclear-like explosion go off b/c of the self-desctruction of the Malorkus. Krig finds Totally, her upper body dangling from a portion of a broken off tower of Cinderella's Castle.*

*Krig is quite confused now, because he thought he'd see Totally non-existant, yet he came wanting to destroy her, yet...it hurt his head too much to think about it. To his surprise, TotallyEvil began to move! Even with the malorkus still impaling her! She stands up, brushing herself off. Krig walks up to you.*

Krig: Evil lady, you have to be dead!

Totally: Just a flesh wound.

*Meanwhile, an automobile-obsessed beyond rich god of war meets up with a confused elder in grey robes.*

Ares: Get out of my way, old man, I have a Viking to take care of.

Merlin: You arrogance will be your downfall, Ares.

*Ares ignores his comment and walks on. Merlin, at least what the audience thought was Merlin, pulls his hod over his face. He flips his cloak dramatically, his grey robes turning black, and all hat is seen under his robes now are fiery red eyes. It was Darkside in disguise, and decided once and for all to finally take his revenge on all the fighers.*

Uh-oh, a serious character. Will the Darkside pose as a threat to these fighters? Can such a serious aspect be accepted into this comical tale? Stay tune, and perhaps more of the past will come back to haunt the readers! *Like Snyderman!*

[Ares]

Ares: "Oh god not this bast@rd again...."
Ares, why has become 10x as powerfull for the sole purpose of elimenating pests that dont belong in half serious, border line, to stupid to reply to threads. Ares jumps in his car.
Darkside:"Your arrogance will be your end...."
Ares:"Oh shaddup....", with that he throws it in reverse, and slams on the gas.

Darkside runs from the car, desperately trying not to get run over, however not looking were hes going, gets hit my a conviently placed parade, getting run over by countless cartoon cherecters and parade floats. He does not get up.

Ares liking this turn of events even better, hits the brakes, accidently ending up on top of a mickey mouse, throws it in drive peels out and takes off. Leaving half of his tires on the cartoon cherecters face. http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif

Now, were is Krig....

------------------
Your Fired!

Fired hunh? Who else are you going to get to take a bullet for you, or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?

I'll tell you who... HIM!

WHO HOO!

Homer i don't think you were listening...

I said, WOO HOO.

[This message has been edited by Ares (edited July 09, 2000).]

[Krig the Viking]

(Ooh, yes, didn't see that sentence...)

Krig stands in front of TotallyEvil, shocked that she is still alive, and that he managed to avoid 90% of those tall posts with wires attached to them that seemed to be everywhere while he was driving Ares's Viper.

Totally runs away, dissapearing into a dingy, unnoticable entrance marked "Employees only". Krig engages in hot pursuit.

On the way he rams into Uncle Tusk, who had been wandering around DisneyWORLD wondering where everybody went.

Krig:"Where you been?"

Uncle Tusk:"I've been wandering around Disneyland, wondering where everybody went."

Krig:"This Disney WORLD."

Uncle Tusk:"So that explains why I keep seeing that giant golf ball!"

Krig:"We go get Evil Lady now!"

Krig run to the Employees Only door, and into the dark and spooky underworld of DisneyWORLD.

Unbeknownst to Krig and Tusk, but knownst to us, Ares has noticed where they were going...

* * *

Darkside stood up and brushed himself off. He slipped into the crowd unnoticed. All around him, in the searing heat of the legendary land of Florida, people complained of a sudden chill. Darkside smiled a thin, sickly smile, and chuckled a thin, sickly chuckle.

What will happen next? Will the infamous Arena return too? With the return of Ares and Darkside, tune in next time to Retro-NES!

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING
Member of the Rebellion against AC

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited July 09, 2000).]

[Ares]

dun dun dun... (My mind is not functioning tonight.)

[Semievil333]

Sem gathers his ammo and wraps himself in his cloak. A storm gathers around him, and suddenly a crack of thunder, followed by 498 random explosions/gunshots (Geb should be able to figure that number out)
Sem: "AAAAAAAAAAA GOT STUCK BAH LIGHTNIN'!!!"
Sem's cloak is now tattered and hangs a little more loosely.
Sem pulls out the experimental laser gun for which there is still ammo, grabs all the remaining adventurers, and heads to disneyworld.
Totally looks up at Sem charging his laser cannon.
Totally: "You cannot defeat me with that pithy little pea shooter!"
Sem shoots Totally who flies back into a wall and falls down. Sem continues until the wall is falling down and he is out of laser charges. He then grabs Maybe, slaps her hand on Totally's forhead, and watches Totally dissolve as the residual cleric aura seeps out of Maybe.
Sem: "And that! and that! and that! and THAT! HA!"(Geb looks at Sem oddly)"What!?!?"
The arm Sem used to slap Maybe's hand to Totally's forhead is dissolving and blowing away in the convinently timed wind.......

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[BobTheMasher]

Then, someone who hasn't read any of the posts, except the one that said "dun dun dun" because it looked weird... posts a continuation.

The main character jumps up and down, and gets shot, but he isn't hurt, cuz stuff is weird in here. Then, he trips on his arm and goes plunging onto the back of his heel, and one of the supporting cast steps on him, and then he says ow. and then they shoot each other. but they aren'ty hurt for reasons just explained. then they edit the special editions so that it makes it seem like one of them fired first. then thye explode, but they aren't hurt for reasons explained above. then they went on wiht whatever was happening before the person who hasn't read any posts except for the "dun dun dun" one (because it looked weird) and they did that stuff. Someone post so I don't have to keep rambnling. u'm starting to type toop fast and i'm mispelling stuff, an there are too many typos, and i can't stop, hey who is that... o my god put that away ow no, you hit me wiht that thingie, o wo wow ow ow owowo oweow wo my necvk has just let go of my head, dern you neck! hhhhhhhhhhhhhh...(Geb's note: plenty more "h"s follow.)

I'm okay, for reasons exlained above. Anyway, what were you guys saying? (Feel free to delete this post, by the way, if people get mad, which i'm sure they whill, on gno, it's happening again!...)
i'm okay, for reasons explained above. i'm done.

------------------
Bob of Aveylon has risen from the ashes of destruction, in the form of a potato masher, and will guide you to your destiny as a whisk!!
Stranger Still, Fact or Fiction? (http://strangerstill.cjb.net)
Dat be my site, by the way....

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited June 23, 2003).]

[Antestarr]

We had a main character?

[Gebohq]

*Back at the Massassi's writer's office...*

Maybe: This whole thread made a huge belly flop. And all because of you Gebohq!

Geb: Wha-? Me?

Maybe: Yes you! If you hadn't put all the characters in that atlantis crap, we could continue this story. But noooo, you said NeS needed a good swimsuit edition...

Geb: Well it did. I just realized though that the problem here was that most of our characters are male, so I had to make up a bunch of extras...

Maybe: *sigh*

*Meanwhile, back at the Atlantis Resort (before Sem's post), Maybechild shudders in disgust as she witnesses several guys "rearranging" themselves, like moving furniture or something. She went on to try to get a tan while reading.*

[BobTheMasher]

I don't know, did you have a main character?

------------------
Bob of Aveylon has risen from the ashes of destruction, in the form of a potato masher, and will guide you to your destiny as a whisk!!
Stranger Still, Fact or Fiction? (http://strangerstill.cjb.net)
Dat be my site, by the way....

[Gebohq]

"Oh

[Gebohq]

no,

[Gebohq]

the

[Gebohq]

Neverending

[Gebohq]

Story

[Gebohq]

has

[Gebohq]

become

[Gebohq]

an

[Gebohq]

annoying

[Gebohq]

one-worder

[Gebohq]

thread.

[Gebohq]

What

[Gebohq]

can

[Gebohq]

save

[Gebohq]

us

[Gebohq]

from

[Gebohq]

this

[Gebohq]

slowmotion-like

[Gebohq]

evil?"

[Semievil333]

Sem the writer: "Geb

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Semievil333]

man

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Semievil333]

I love

[Semievil333]

the way

[Semievil333]

you think!

[Semievil333]

you

[Semievil333]

think!

[Semievil333]

At this

[Semievil333]

rate

[Semievil333]

we will catch

[Semievil333]

up to

[Semievil333]

shadows of darkness in

[Semievil333]

no-time!

[Semievil333]

go BUMP!!!

[Semievil333]

(Benevolent Upward Mobility Post)

[Krig the Viking]

Oh horror...

[Krig the Viking]

...of horrors!

[Krig the Viking]

Krig is...

[Krig the Viking]

stuck in...

[Krig the Viking]

bullet time!

[Antestarr]

Please... somebody do me a favor and... STOP THE SINGLE-WORD POSTING INSANITY!!!!! Maybe we'll actually go somewhere with the story... but probably not.

[Krig the Viking]

Darkside, bored with the slow-motion madness that he had caused, suddenly halted it. He brooded silently as he slipped unnoticed among the crowd at Disneyworld.

Krig ran through the dark and spooky corridors of the underbelly of Disneyworld. He passed numerous Mickey Mouses with their big giant heads off, but he didn't stop. He caught a glimpse of TotallyEvil dashing into a control booth for one of the rides. Krig's eyes widened.

Krig:"Oh no! If Evil Lady go there, make boom, many kiddies die!"

At that moment, Ares caught up with Krig, raging with fury that Krig had stolen his car and not missed numerous telephone poles.

What will happen to our beloved Viking? Will he be smashed into oblivion by an enraged Ares? Or will he stop Totally and save the lives of countless innocent children? Or will something totally unexpected happen? Only the writers know! Actually, even they don't know! Nobody knows! Maybe a nuclear reactor will explode! Or maybe Maybe will maybe do something--maybe. Find out, in the next post of... Never Ending Story!!!

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING
Member of the Rebellion against AC

[Semievil333]

Suddenly a wretched screech is heard from one of the stages. Parts of Totally's now largely disfigured body have been found. Surprisingly the head is still in-tact.
Krig: "Evil-type person dead? Krig not have excuse for wreaking kar? Krig in deep doo-doo."
As Ares looms over Krig, a curtain falls in front of them and random blows are heard connecting with Krig's thick skull. About 20 minutes later, as Ares is starting to slow down, seeing the futility of hurting Krig's head, a show begins. First a Donald, then a Mickey dance out on stage. They are followed by a performer in a giant foam-rubber costume of Totally.
Maybe: <gasp!> "eep! they idolized her!"
Ante, grabbing a random woman from the crowd: "Well, seeing as how the world as we know it just ended, how's about a date, hon?" (Batman-style words flash on screen) <Biff!> <KaSlam!> <Smash!> <Zot!> <Smakko!>
"..... umm...... I'll call you!"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Semievil333]

Ares: "Allrighty everyone, back in the bus!"
Ares tosses Krigs limbs and head in, and loads his torso into the cargo bin.
Geb: "Krig man, you ok?"
Krig's head: "Krig have big boo-boo."
Maybe: "Aww, poor Krig, lemme make it better."
Maybe picks up Krig's head, sets it in her lap, and starts petting his hair. Otter, Ante, Sem and Geb stare for a minute and then begin hysterically bouncing around Ares.
Otter, Sem, Ante, and Geb: "Ohhh! Ohhh! Me! Me! Me! Dismember me next!"
Ares' clone is the last on the bus. Sem gives him a flier he found on the floor of the bus without looking at the title.
Ares' clone, reading so everyone can hear: <ahem>"A better love life, through the use of manure. Part one. Paragraph one. Although it may seem....." Ares' clone's monotone fades into the background noise at a very key moment, and is temporarilly drowned out by the 3 second ringing noise that followed the smack Sem recived from Maybe.

After 3 hours they arrive at the Arena. (The bus driver did 800 except in school zones)
All the devastation and rubble are gone. The remains of the rabbit walkers so carefully hidden under a carpet by Sem have been repaired and are shining in the corner. The 7-11 across the street has been repaired. The crow's nest has been censored out of existance. Gonk2m4 has been given a powerful sedative and is now "gonking" a mere 5 times a minute. (As opposed to the 100's of GPS he was doing when the adventurers teleported out of the arena.) And in the center of the now spotless Arena, On the very spot where Sem had erected the vast rubber-duckie monument to the late Thread Killer, stood a lone, orange muppet-looking fellow with short black hair.
Ernie: "Rubber Duckie, Joy of Joys..... errr intruders...... Rubber Duckies, ATTACK!!!!"

Suddenly the entire troop is surrounded by a squeaking, quacking horde of yellow rubber.

Sem: "Fuq"
Ares: "The way Sem says that...... I'm not liking it that much..... It makes me think like maybe I can't just win this with a whim like I do everything else."

Will Ernie and his Rubber-Duckie Legion prevail over the NeS? Is the end in sight? Hurry! Write more words! Make more posts! Now! Don't just do something, sit there!

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Krig's head warily looks around the cleaned up Arena.

Krig:"Krig sense great Evil now."

Geb:"NOOO! We're back at this cursed ARENA!!"

Geb falls to the ground in a dramatic fashion, clawing at the dirt.

Geb:"NOOO!"

Maybe:"I'm confused. Didn't the Arena blow up?"

Ares:"What are you talking about? I made this Arena to be indestructable!"

Sem, pointing at legions of rubber duckies:"Uhh, guys..."

Krig's head:"Krig want body back now..."

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING
Member of the Rebellion against AC

[Jozn_FJ]

The arena turns blue for a fraction of a second...then...darkness....a small Sith warrior walks up to krings head and fits it back on to the body. Turning again the sith warrior goes next door into the bar....

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?

[EX_Gerrard]

another mysterious sith appears outta the darkness... hes very short... sundenly the words "wachoo talkin bout willis" are mumbeled...

[EX_Gerrard]

*willis turns around*
Gary what are you doing here?

I'm here to kill you Willis!

*Gary swings lightstaff missing Willis by a hair*

Gary you've gone mad!

Wachoo talkin bout Willis?! Ive always been mad, your just around when the fuse is at its end!

~What will happen to Willis?! We'll find out on the next episode of The Neverending Story!

[Krig the Viking]

Krig, outraged at the turn of events that recent events had turned, charged with blind fury at this "Willis" fellow. Krig raised his mighty axe and --

[This section exceeds "G" rating required by Massassi]

Krig stalks away, covered in blood.

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING
Member of the Rebellion against AC

[EX_Gerrard]

Wilis, covered in blood, treameling, all strength at one cause, to kill Krig...

At this time Gary is walking with Krig telling him about his all new hit sit-com on Fox.

Willis steps up with a baseball bat, does a little dance, puts the baseball bat down, grabs a shotgun and shoots at Krig! But the shot goes into Gary, well most, maybe one nicked Krig (optional) but they both live, but slowly Gary Coleman is dieing, his last words "Wachoo talking bout Krig?" Death to Gary. Soon Homer Simpson walks in, he has an evil plan to resurect Gary, but he will be a monster if he does!

~Find out what happens next time on, The Neverending Story!

[Semievil333]

Ares noticies the 2 newcommers to the story and decides that he should lay down some rules right here and now.
Ares: "heh-HEM! ok now peoples, this is the way it is. I am the god of War, and as the patron diety of this fine institution of doom" (indicates arena) "I will have the final say in all arguments and/or death-matches of any kind."
Suddenly at the bar where Ante and Otter saved one of the many groups of un-naturrally beautiful women that seem to be part of the fiber of this story, is smashed by a giant stone that compleately flattens and covers it on the stone read: "Arena rules:
1)Ares is always the winner.
2)If Ares has lost, see rule one.
3)No running with sharp or blunt weapons.
4)No smoking in the combat area.
5)Shirt and shoes required."
Ante: "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The bar! All the memories! All the free drinks! All the bartenders who never card! All the groups of un-naturrally beautiful women that seem to be part of the fiber of this story! It's all GONE!!!!!!!"
Otter is running around in circles on the spot where the Crow's nest used to be, as if he were looking for something.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[EX_Gerrard]

Gary's ghost killes Ares.

[Krig the Viking]

Are's ghost reviews the first rule and comes back to life. Then banishes Gary's ghost forever.

Krig lunges at Willis with his axe. He removes Willis's head with his axe, puts it in a bag, twirls around, and throws it as far as he can. It flies away, far out of the Arena, and into orbit. (Krig can do this because of the wonders of adreneline.)

Meanwhile Homer Simson stands evilly over Gary's body.

Homer:"Heeheehee, I have an evil plan to resurect Gary Coleman and get donuts!"

Homer starts evil plan. He resurects Gary into a zombie-like monster(since Gary's soul was banished by Ares), who promptly runs away to UGO.

Homer:"D'oh!"

Uncle Tusk:"You look sad. Let's get some beer."

Homer:"Beer?"

Homer and Uncle Tusk start searching around the destroyed bar for stray cans of beer.

Geb:"My, what a lot of new guys. I wonder what happened to Dr. Evil? Is he still trying to take over the world?"

* * *
Meanwhile, Darkside lurked mysteriously.
* * *
Meanwhile, the evil demon who had got elected Prime Minister of Canada has turned it into a evil communist country in which everyone is a slave.
* * *
Meanwhile, Enchilada Man flies around in his Enchilada ship, in deep space.
* * *
Meanwhile, Dr. Evil sits in his throne atop the big golf ball in DisneyWorld, plotting. Everywhere in DisneyWorld are statues of TottallyEvil and Dr. Evil. Dr. Evil chuckles an evil laugh, which doesn't sound evil because he's been breathing helium.

What will become of this story? Will it degenerate into meaningless nonsense like before? Or will reason and logic triumph? Hah! Not likely!



------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING
Member of the Rebellion against AC

[Antestarr]

*Ante, suddenly regaining composure after the loss of the bar, the booze, and the women, looks over only to meet with the ever-menacing visage of a certain disgruntled muppet and his legion of rubber aquatic birds. Thinking fast, Ante comes up with a plan that may be crazy enough to work (as if anything here isn't...)*

Ante: Alright... I'm gonna need a cauldron... *1 cauldron falls from the sky* Thanks writers! Now, all I need is the souls of 10 million residents of the Bowels of Eternal Punishment (BEP) and a whole lot of sugar.

*Finding the ingredients right next to him in a ditch (thanks again, writers), Ante begins his concoction. Working over a boiling hot cauldron filled with melted sugar, he adds the souls of the BEP residents, places them in a mold, and lets them cool for a few minutes. Within a half an hour, Ante commands his own legion of... (dramatic piano/drums mix)... MARSHMALLOW PEEPS!*

Ante: Now, my pretties, go forth and defeat the evils of the duckies and their fowl furry master!

*What next? Skylab falls again? Mir comes after it? Somebody takes control of the Rabbit Walkers? Maybe tries to eat the peeps? Otter finally gets the girl?... (nah, that'd be way too far out of an idea.) Well, we'll see next time, where the unexpected usually happens, and when it doesn't, well, somebody tries to think there's a plot.*

[Gebohq]

*Meanwhile-meanwhile-meanwhile-*

*Geb the writer hits the recond. It goes on.*

*Meanwhile, amidst teh epic abttle between teh peeps and duckies, Gebohq arms himself with a Slayer, a maniacal grin streaks across his face*

Ante: Um..Geb, didn't we decide that you had an addiction problem with rocket-launching-like weapons some time ago?

Geb: Hush you, this is much too fun.

*As Ante was about to stop him, Geb turns on a personal cloaking device and hides away. Using hte secondary fire on the Slayer (fly-by-wire) Gebohq shoots it off, now seeing fromt eh rocket's POV.*

*He directed the slow-moving rocket, up, down, through crevices and doorways and stairways, and finally in the middle of the epic battle. Gebohq smiled insanely, having gone over the edge from the chaos that was order, for as he saw it (now that he had started a real job also, much like Antestarr) Order was simply chaos that people liked to look at. Gebohq was also not only armed with teh cloacking device and the Slayer, but also the DD44 Dovesti, a combat knife, a sniper rifle, and much too much bubble wrap to keep himself protected and occupied for weeks.*

Oh no! Our beloved Gebohq has gone over the edge! Has lost his marbles, short a few cards of a deck, snapped, needs to live in a happy home-- *Random person bashes narrator over head, which he is all too use to by now* Will Gebohq ever return to sanity, or run a muck of the entire story, not to mention his friends? Oh, let's nto kid ourself, Geb isn't harmful at all...unless someone provokes his girlfriend again, or something like that. Who wants to look for teh six pieces of teh armor of mars, er..Ares...er..and jump into a flying isle and attack a huge tank. What was that..oh, sorry, I'm jumping ahead in teh script here. Anyways, tune in next time, to *drumroll* the Neeeeverending Stooory!

Director: Aaaand cut!

Finally, I get to take my break now...wish I got two like the minors do...

[Gebohq]

*Out in teh darkness of Space, Enchilada_Man recieves a holographic message. In front of him appears Maybechild, garbed in a white outfit.*

Maybe: Enchilada_man, we need your help more than ever. Ares, god of war, has returned and threatens to bring back normality into the Neverending Story. Gebohq has also gone insane, but that's of no importance. Hurry, please--and STOP TRYING TO UNDRESS MY HOLOGRAPHIC SELF!

*As Enchilada_man was close to unzipping the white garb, teh holographic message abruptly vanishes.*

Will Enchilada_man be able to save the day? Or will he need the help of Miss_Fire and Snyderman? Tune in--what? Nobody's contacted E-Man? Well, someone e-mail him for heaven's sake! Jeez...er, cheese and crackers. That's right, cheese and crackers will be somehow involved in teh next post, so stay tuned to find out how!

[Semievil333]

Krig and Sem are now walking aimlessly around the arena. When they come to the spot where Otter is looking for the crow's nest they find a wheel of cheese and some crackers labeled "Eat me."
Krig: "Sir, yes SIR!"
They eat the crackers and cheese.
Sem: "Sem hungry was, hit the spot that did."
Sem looks surprised at his own voice and goes to a mirror to look into it, only to find himself too short to see. Krig points out that Sem has become short, green, and furry.
Sem: "THE STORYWRITERS BASTARDS ARE!!!!!!"
Sem and Krig had been Yodafied, yes.
Krig: "Krig funny is talking, mmm!"
Suddenly Morris, attracted by the sweet smell of marshmallow peeps, bounds into the arena, looking hungry. But alas, Morris spots Sem and Krig first, and the chase begins.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Krig looks at his hands, his eyes wide with shock.

Krig:"Yodafied, Krig is!"

Krig's eyes get wider as he realizes that, unlike Sem, his speaking has actually gotten better as a result of the Yodafication. Krig removes his Viking helmet by the horns, and two big giant Yoda ears pop out.

Krig:"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Krig then turns and sees Morris the Cat charging strait at him and Sem.

Krig:"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
KRIG THE VIKING
Member of the Rebellion against AC

[Admiral Mieler]

And Admiral Mieler died a tragic death for no apparent reason. http://forums.massassi.net/html/frown.gif

------------------
Official Stupid Remark Apologist

[Losien]

*Losien slowly walks up to the door; banging loudly she shouts, hoping someone will let her in*
//On the set//
"Will SOMEONE go answer the door! This person must not have any patients..err..I mean..patience!" sceamed the director.
//A sound member opens the door//
"Who are you?" he asks.
*Looking around..Losien wonders where she can get those cheese and crackers*
"I'm Losien, Gebohq's sister. Where are the cheese and cra.."
"What are you doing here?" Asked the director," We're in the middle of filming and you've just interrupted us."
"Oh..I'm sorry. I just wanted some cheese and cra.." softly replied Losien.
//being cut off again..//
" WELL WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHEESE AND CRAP..(bows head in humilty) crackers...so you may leave."
*Losien, being hurt at the statement made about have NO cheese and crackers...burries her face in her arms and sobs quietly...before breaking into laughter.*
//Puzzled looks on all the crew and stage members faces.//
"So, what do you think?" asked Losien.
"What do you mean?" asked Joe..(the sound guy)
"Do you think I can join the crew? Can I be part of the show? I never thought I'd make it into something like this..but do you think I can try? (puppy-dog face)
"well.."replied the director," You are great at "acting". You completely had us fooled with the fake crying thing..and..I guess we can let you give it a try."
*Losien Jumping for joy*
"Oh thank you thank...I will not let you down! By the way..can I see my brother? Where is Geb?" Losien asked.
//everyone eyes each other..with looks on their faces.."should we tell her?"//
"Umm.." said many of the people in the room, "He's been acting quite different lately. Much like and insane clown..and well.."
"WELL what?!"Losien asked, "Get to the point!"
"Well..he's not like he used to be, he's under.." said one man...(interruped by another)
"Under the boardwalk.." said Joe.
Echoed-"Under the boardwalk"
"out of the sun.."
"Under the boardwalk"
"We'll be having some fun"
"under the boardwalk..boardwalk"
(Instrumental)
*Lobien stares in awe..when she suddenly thinks she has "fallen" for Joe..the camera man.*
"Stop singing!" yelled the director,"We have work to be done!"
"Umm..Joe..would you like..to..g-go..out..wi-wi-with..m-me?" asked Losien (remembering when her studdering problem was much worse)
"Sure..(looks over at the director) can we talk an hour break?"
Director sighed,"Sure..whatever..go..leave."
*Joe smiled.*
"So, where are we going?" asked Joe.
"I was thinking...w-w-well..may..maybe, we cou-could g-g-go get some..chee-cheese and cra-" said losien, once again being cut off.
"Cheese and cranberries? Sounds good!"
//Losien and Joe were off to the.."Green" Cranberry Market...alone//

*Losien thinks to herself.."does joe think I'm a loser like all the other guys do? I mean..people often mistake the spelling of my name and...and it's oftly close to..well...ok..I shouldn't be worrying. Joe is with me..we're going to get..cranberries..which isn't exactly what I wanted..but it will do for now..and then I'll go..*
//Interrupted by Joe//
"Losien, DUCK!"
"duck?" she asked, "Those are birds!"
"No..DUCK!" shouted Joe as the birds were flying right towards them.
"No..I'm almost positive those are birds Joe."
**Lightbulb comes to her head..raises her finger..and realizes what Joe was trying to say.**
//They run to the nearest phone booth...and hide inside//
"Phew...we're still alive," sighed Joe.
"Yeah..thankfully..we made it"
Minutes later..all the birds were gone..it was safe to come out.
Losien exited first..and looked behind her...
"Where's Joe?"
"Right here..it's me..TOE JOE..the superhero. Joe is like my "clarke kent" body..this here..is my "superman". What do you think?" asked TOE JOE.
"Well..I'm speechless.." she said while imagining what was under that superhero costume.
"About those cheese and crayons..I'm getting really hungry..let's go"
//Losien sighed..living life like this..is sure tough..I can't wait til I see Geb..I wonder how he is//

(NSP: Well..I'm new to this..I hope no one minds that I care to join in..I'm Geb's sister..(but not really) and he introduced me to this..and well..he picked out my screen name..I'm guessing because he thought I was a loser..but didn't want to "plainly" state it..so he changed it around a little. He's great..don't you all agree? Yeah..ok..I'm going to go now..sorry this post is extremely..well..boring.)




------------------
**Kim**
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

[Losien]

NSP: I made a mistake..lol..Losien falls for Joe..the SOund Guy..not the camera man..lol..I must've been thinking about..(nevermind..lol)

[Gebohq]

*Geb meanwhile is hidden behind a jutting rock, cloaked and armed with a Slayer. Going insane was nothing new for Geb, and he knew he'd get over it sooner or later. It took him quite by surprise however to find Maybe tap him on the shoulder.*

Maybe: Hey Geb, the director just told me we're on an hour break, so you can go eat for now. Oh, and your sister came by looking for you. Her name is...Loo-see-in? Soemthing liek that. Anyway, I'm off, and when we're finished, we'll look for you again.

Geb: Sister? Ahh, sister! (starts to sound liek darth vader) If you will not turn, perhaps she will...

*Meanwhile, some whinny Goth kid steps out, screams "NOOOOOO!" and tries desperately to find Geb so he can kill him, though his reason to do so seems to be a mystery to him*

*Geb then launches a Slayer on "fly-by-wire" with a note attached to it headed for Papa Johns'. Extra large cheese pizza. Mission Impossible? Quite possibly.*

*Meanwhile, Losien hits it off with the sound guy in a laundro-mat. Looking for Ladies, teh Otter slips into the Laundro-mat...*

[Losien]

//In the laundry-mat//
"Did you hear something?" asked Losien.
*too busy..umm..doing other things...doesn't hear her the first time*
"what??" asked toe joe as he continued on with many sound effects...after all, he was the "sound guy."
"Did you hear something? I think someone else is in here..shh.."
//making even more "sounds"..joe trys to control himself//
"Oh NO! We've been spotted" said Losien in a quiet, raspy voice.
"Spotted? I don't see any spots.."said Joe..as he continued.
"The person is coming closer! Hurry..we have to go before he sees..us."
//music from "Jaws" playing in the background//
*Losien and Joe search through the dryers close by, looking for clothes to throw on in hopes they're exposure won't be indecent to the "visitor" they were about to encounter*
//Footsteps are coming closer and all of a sudden...//

(NSP: Pick up the story...someone..:-))

------------------
**Kim**
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

[Krig the Viking]

--Krig the Viking walks into the laundromat, with a big armful of clothes. He puts them in the washer, realizes he doesn't have change, and starts beating the crap out of the washer with his war-axe until it starts up.

While waiting for the washer to finish, Krig walks over to a drier, opens it, jumps in, and shuts the door. Being only four feet tall, he can do this. He knocks on the drier's window.

Krig:"Hey, Krig want ride! Put coin in ride, somebody!"

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

(NSP: So now we have 2 visitors in the laundro-mat..lol..great! The more..err..the more the merrier!)

[Semievil333]

After many long, suspensful minutes Los goes over to the drier and pops in some change.
Krig: "Wheeeee!!!"
Drier: "Buzz!"
The drier door opens, and Krig, now a fluffly giant green fuzzball of yodahair floats out. As Krig floats around, a gigantic paw crashes through the laundromat door and Morris' feet step in, removing most of the roof, and destroying the washing machines. A pile of blood and green hair drops to the ground.
Puff-ball Krig: "Semi not looking so very heltie."
The green puff is swatted to the floor and flattened to a...... very flat thingie.
Pancake Krig: "ouchie"
Los, the only remaining living thing in Morris' sight emits a high-pitched noise not unlike the ICQ "uh-oh"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Pancake-Krig pops his legs out and waddles out of the way of the path of Morris's destruction. In a corner, an arm pops out of the pancake part of Krig, sticks its thumb in his mouth, and blows him up to normal shape.

Krig:"Krig feel funny..."

Krig looks at self, then looks at convenient mirror.

Krig:"Krig normal again! Krig happy!!"

Normal Krig starts to run off, notices the terrifying Morris, and hides in the corner.

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

(NSP: very nice, I like where you guys went with it. I wish I could post right now, but I'm getting kicked off the computer..sorry..hopefully tomorrow!)

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr looks up from his peep production facility and stares in the direction from which the sound came from. Detecting a strange, new form amongst the wreckage of the laundromat, Ante comes to a severe revelation.*

Ante: That... that's a woman! I mean a real woman... adding to the story! The inner gentleman is getting the better of me.... Come, my horde of marshmallow peeps. We must protect this visage of womanhood from the ravages of such things as rubber duckies, rabbit walkers, giant web-kittys, and "improper" men until she learns to fend for herself.

*Ante rides upon a wave of marshmallow peeps to the laundromat.*

Ante: Please, follow me. You are in grave danger.

Losien: Wha...? Who are you? Why me? C-can I have a peep?

Ante: Yes, you may have a peep. But you must hurry. We must escape before it is too late... All your questions shall be answered soon enough...

Will the mysteries surrounding Antestarr's sudden gaining of manners be revealed? What does Losien have to do with this? Could it be a *gasp* PLOTLINE? Find out soon enough......

[Gebohq]

*Maybechild meanwhile takes great offense at not being considered a "real woman" and vows to make Antestarr's life a living hell. Not like any of the other guys didn't deserve teh same treatment, but her level of effort was not worth it for the others. Only being challanged as a real woman and degreading Metallica could win her effort to actually try.*

*Meanwhile, the storywriters, especially Geb, continue to search for a better word than "meanwhile". But until then...*

*Meanwhile, Losien (which, to her approval, should actaully be pronounced Low-sai-een or Low-see-in) stands completely baffled (not to mention with few articles of clothing on) as this strange man who goes by teh name Antestarr, who says he's a co-worker of her brother, protects her with his army of marshmallow peeps against Morris the Cat and other such dangers.*

Ante: ...I still find it hard to believe that you're Geb's yuonger sister.

Los: Yeah, I know. He's SOO great, and look at me *all male audience members intently look at her and begin to drool*, I'm ugly, and stupid, and...

Ante: No need to go on. I see the family resemblance...//Yeup, same family self-esteem here//...and considering you just erm...made teh sound guy very happy, you can't be as bad as you make yourself out to be. And finding your way to the Laundro-mat? That takes smarts RIGHT there, this whole place is so confusing, even for us locales! And-- *Antestarr stops as he realizes Losien is intentionally not listening to him.* OK, if you do not want me to go on, I will not do so. Where shall I take you, madame?

*Meanwhile, Geb's fly-by-wire rocket reaches Papa John's...*

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited July 19, 2000).]

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr looks at his above post.*

Ante: Holy Shnikies! I forgot to mention the stuff about Maybe being the only real woman who's been able to survive extended amounts of time here... other than MissFire *drool*... er... anyway. Yeah.

(seriously, guys, I meant to put it in. I just got too excited with a new woman amongst us.)

Will this attempt at telling the truth sway Maybe's wrath? Will the others believe a word of it? Have we used italics too much? Will "meanwhile" be replaced by "meanwhilst"? Find out someday... or not!

[Krig the Viking]

As Morris the cat stalks away, Krig the Viking comes out of the corner. He looks around, smooths his hair, and looks over at the sound guy, sitting forlornly in a pile of clothing.

Krig walks over to the sound guy.

Krig:"You offend lady's honour!"

Krig smacks the guy across the face with the broadside of his axe, knocking him out cold.

Krig:"Serve you right!"

Krig then follows the trail of peeps to catch up to Antestar, hoping to defend the lady's honour some more.

* * *
Meanwhilst, Darkside lurks mysteriously.

What will become of our heroes? Anything? Who will get the girl? I'm putting my money on the sound guy, but it could be anybody! Tune in next post for more of the NEVER...ENDING...STOOOOOORYYYYYYY!!!!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Krig the Viking]

(NSP: Krig looks over at the Discussion forum, and sees that ****** has disabled the whole thing. I now see how he got his reputation. http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif )

[Losien]

"Well, Antestarr," begins Losien,"I still haven't been able to try the cheese and crackers everyone's been talking about."

"Why would you want to try cheese and crackers? There's nothing special and them...and of course, there's no time for that," said Antestarr.

*Losien sighs: Hmm..I wish I could see my Geb. It's been so long. He's probably changed so much. What if he won't recognize me as his sister?*

//Riding along on the peeps..Anterstarr questions Los again//

"So, Los. Where are we off to?"

"I don't know. You're leading the way. I just hope to meet up with Geb sometime. By the way, what happened to Joe?"

"Joe? Why do you ask about Joe? He started to go back to the filming studio. You don't have a "thing" for Joe, do you?" asked Antestarr.

"Well..I, I can't say that I don't..because, I guess I kind of do. The whole laundry room thing..well, it brought us somehow, closer together."

"I...I wouldn't go for Joe. You haven't known him for more than (looks at his watch) 50 mins..speaking of that, we were only supposed to have an hour break. We better get back quick!"

//Los and Antestarr quickly sped away on their marshmallow peeps and finally made it to the studio//

*Inside, everyone was taking their places. Losien finally spotted Joe. She couldn't keep her eyes of him. Suddenly, Joe started walking towards her and...*

(NSP: Sorry if all that I just typed screwed up the story in any way..I really am sorry..I'm just not that great of a writer..as you all know. ANyways, I have to work today..so I guess I'll try and post later if I have time.)

------------------
**Kim**
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

[Antestarr]

NSP: (as if we actually need any...)

Los, the beauty of this story is that it has no plotline, and therefore cannot be screwed up in any way. It merely gets "enhanced" by each spin put on it from new viewpoints. Personally, I wish there were more new writers with fresh ideas, since we're running out of copyrights to infringe...

[Semievil333]

Back in the writer's office.....
Los opens the door to her new office which is in the new wing of the building that mysteriously grew overnight to accomadate the growing number of writers. On her desk are enough flowers to re-seed the earth in the event of nuclear winter, with cards from each of the guys. There is also a card from Maybe, who has gotten used to getting all the attention from the guys in the story, with a death-threat scribbled on it.
Los the storywriter: <Mouse-like sneeze> "Bub I'm alergikt tew fluors..."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Director:"Aaaaaaand action!"

The heroes of the story stand before the cameras (the pay-per-view cameras of Ares), and suddenly... stand there.

Sem:"Anybody remember what we were doing before the break?"

Ante:"Umm... no..."

Just then, Krig comes running into the Arena, weilding his axe.

Krig:"Krig defend pretty lady's honour!"

Maybe:"Oh, why thank you, Krig, I-"

Krig stops and looks at Maybe.

Krig:"Krig no talk 'bout Maybe. Krig talk 'bout pretty lady."

Maybe, threateningly:"Are you insinuating that I'm not pretty??"

Krig, suddenly cautious:"Noooooo...."

Maybe:"No I'm not, or no I am??!"

Krig:"Umm... Krig head hurt now..."

In background, Ante starts leaning a little close to Losien. The boom mike drops down and bonks him on the head.

Ante:"Who? Wha?"

Ante looks around for the culprit, and sees Joe the sound guy.

Ante:"Oh, you wanna rumble, is that it??"

* * *

Meanwhile, Homer and Uncle Tusk have gotten drunk from some beer they found somewhere.

* * *

Meanwhile, Darkside lurks evilly.

What will happen next? Only the author of the next post knows! Tune in next time for more intrigue and political scandals next time on the Greatest Show of All Time. Which means SoD, not NeS.


------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

"AAAAaaaacchhhooo!"

//Joe walks in the room//

" Are you, allergic to flowers?"

" Yes, I am. (wipes her nose w/ a tissue) Why did everyone send these to me?"

" I guess you're pretty popular now..being the new member and all. I mean, you are really beautiful and.."

"Wait a minute. Who in this world...would EVER think that I'm beautiful? Who would put such a crazy thought in someone's head?" said Losien with a sound of confusion in her voice.

"Why, everyone thinks you are. Why else would they send you flowers?" asked Joe.

"Maybe they're just trying to make me feel better about myself. Maybe it's some kind of trick. I bet Geb told them I was allergic to flowers...and that's why. But Geb wouldn't do anything like that...though, he has changed, from what you all tell me."

"No..that's not it. I really like you...I mean..we all think it's great you've come to be a member. You were fantastic in the laundro-mat..I mean..you're a great writer."

"Well..she said (clearing the flowers off her desk and looking at all the cards..seeing the one from Maybe. With a horrified look on her face, she says..) Oh my gosh. Please..can you leave me alone for a while. I have some thinking to do."

"No problem. Is, is everything ok?" asked Joe.

"Everything is, fine. Don't worry! (she says while covering her face, afraid she'll break into tears)"

//*to herself* Great...it's my first day here, and I'm being sent threat notes. What's wrong with me? Am I that ugly that people don't even want to see me? What's wrong with me? (as she begins to sob quietly)//

[Losien]

(NSP: Hey Ante...well..sorry about "apologizing" for being a very bad writer, but I am one. (It's only the truth) Oh yeah..and Krig..I'm sorry if what I wrote affected what you wrote. I didn't mean to...but we were posting at the same time I guess..so you can ignore mine if you wish. Also..for those of you that don't know, Geb and I are NOT really brother and sister. In the story we are...but in reality..we're not. If we were, I wouldn't know how to explain it since he's such a great guy and me..well..look at me. He's well..how can I put this.."good-looking" and I'm well.."not-so-good-looking." He's a great writer..and as you all can tell..I'm not. So..we're not really brother and sister, even though he's been much kinder to me than my own brothers..it's the truth. OK, enough of this..bye!)

[Gebohq]

Director: OK, our PPV watchers are getting bored. We need more intimidating evil-feeling parts here.

*The camera zooms in on Darkside, who gives a evil look for the audience.*

Director: Nope, not scary enough...*Darkside frowns sadly and shuffles off*...ok, I got it!

*Camera zooms in on Krig, who, for some mysterious reason, has his bare bum facing hte camera.*

Director: Yeup, that scared them all...

[Antestarr]

*Meanwhilst, in a small motel adjacent to the arena, a sinister plot is about to unfold...*

Farr's Girlfriend: Mwahaha... The fools out there don't realize that I am the true evil genius behind you and your actions, my dear, sweet lumpkin...

*Farr grunts in agreement.*

F.G.: Soon, you and I shall strike, and not even the god of war, Ares, could stand up to us. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What will become of our heroes? Can they possibly stop a pair of evil ones who obviously hail from a land way down under? Will Ernie and his horde of rubber duckies ever be mentioned again?... er... whoops. Why did the narrator switch to bold? What would happen if the question mark key on the writer's keyboard were to fail> Find out someday... maybe.

[Losien]

//Losien walks out of her office after an hour or so to herself. She still had no idea what to do about Maybe. Suddenly, she is swarmed by many crew members//

"Would you like to go out.."started one person, interrupted by another.

"Can me have you for din din.."said Krig being once again interrupted.

//This continued many times.//

"Los, I was wondering..would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime,"said Joe.

"Well, I don't know what I'm doing tonight..maybe I can make arrangements," replied Los with a smile on her face.

//Then she remembered. What if going out to dinner with someone, would make Maybe mad? Hmmm..well..I guess we'll see. I can't plan my whole life doing only things she wouldn't mind. I should talk to her sometime//

"So Joe, where would we be going to eat?"

"I was thinking...."

[Krig the Viking]

(Perhaps we should mention that Krig the Storywriter and Krig are two different people... for anybody who joined in late. Krig the writer is me, the guy who's writing the Krig parts. Geb the writer is the guy who's writing the Geb parts. Unfortunately, these writers tend do things other than merely write (such as send flowers to people who have the misguided idea that they are not pretty http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif ). So in summary, the writers are the guys in another dimension who are writing the parts of the characters.)

Krig stops scratching his hairy sit-down spot, turns around, and sees the camera zoomed in on his arse.

Krig:"...."

Cameraman:"Woa... woa... calm down man... woa... nice Kriggy..."

Krig:"ROOOOOAAAARRRR!!!!!"

Krig leaps at the camera, and audiences all over the world see glimpses of an axe, a short hairy guy, and the ground, and a short hairy guy, and the sky, and static.

Director:"Quick, get another camera on this! This is good stuff!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Ernie lurks in a dark corner of the Arena, hugging the remains of his rubber duckie horde to him.

Ernie:"We're safe here. We'll get them back, don't you worrie, rubber duckies!"

Homer:"Hey, Tuskie, I found a little duckie!"

Ernie:"You get away from him!"

Homer:"Whuh? Who the?"

Uncle Tusk:"So, Ernie, we meet again."

Ernie:"Uncle Tusk. You will not get away so easily this time."

Homer:"What? What are you talking about? What's going on? Who's Ernie?

Ernie:"I'm Ernie!"

Uncle Tusk:"He's Ernie."

Homer:"Oh."

Ernie:"As I was saying, you'll not get away from me so easily this time, Uncle Tusk."

Homer:"He's your uncle?"

Ernie:"What? No! That's just his name!"

Homer:"How could you not tell me you had a nephew, Tuskie? How could you?"

Uncle Tusk:"I don't have a nephew."

Homer:"YOU LIE!"

Uncle Tusk:"Uhhh..."

Will Uncle Tusk ever convince Homer Simpson that he's not Ernie's uncle? Will Darkside lurk some more?*Darkside lurks mysteriously* I see. Will Losien ever get any self-confidence and realize that her writing is just fine and that she's not ugly? How should I know, I'm just the narrator! Tune in next time on... aw, you know the name of this thread, why should I have to tell you da--

Director:"Aaaaand cut!"

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Semievil333]

Gonk2m4 wanders around the set, serving cheese and crackers. Krig polishes his axe. Sem stubbs his toe on something buried in the dirt.
Sem: "Bastards those storywriters are, mmm, yes, always much calamity do I encounter, yes."
Sem reaches down and digs up a heavily beaded jaw-bone attached to a femur. (For those who don't know/remember this refers to the weapon origionally wielded by Sem in his yoda-form, which was the shamanistic severed jaw and leg of Trixie, Ante's ferocious uberdog, and soulmate of Ursus Major.)
Sem: "Sem some asskicking is ready to do, mmm, yes! For my ally is the storywriter, and a powerful ally it is."
The scene shifts to early first century Jerusalem, Peter, having just denied Christ, is feeling somewhat down. Sem walks over and sighs at him, getting a good grip on his weapon.
Sem: "mmmhmmm.... betrayed your master, yes, as did Obi-Wan's apprentice"
Peter: "WTF are you!?!?"
Sem: "I sense much fear in you..... mmmmm yes, this one, a long time have I watched, and always his head in the clouds, mmmm, never his mind on who he was!..." (Sem starts jabbing Peter with the bones) "...Eh? Who his messiah!"
Peter becomes fed up with this and is about to hit Sem, when the storywriter deems it wise to bring Sem out of this danger and back to the arena.

(I'm sorry if this offends anyone religiously..... I don't think it should, but I'm not going to assume..... besides I'm making fun of my own religion here, and it's all in good fun.....)

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Ares]

Ares: "ITS TIME I BRING SANITY TO THIS THRE- ah, who the hell am i kidding? Screw this, im outta here...."

Ares hops in his Viper and takes off. Were will he go? What will he do? When will he get there?

Stay tuned for the next reply to this completly screwed up thread....

------------------
Fear me. I am evil. I am going to take over the world. Anyone that wants a small island had better call it now. :D

[Krig the Viking]

Krig sees Ares's sig.

Krig:"Krig call Austrailia!"

Looks around at everybody.

Krig:"What? Krig call island of Austrailia!"

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

(NSP: Just want to say..that well..somethings have come up..and I, I..well, I don't know if I'll be posting too much anymore. I'm really sorry..I just, I need some time to think some things over. Please..I'm really really sorry. Umm..do whatever you want with my character...kill her, anything, I don't care. Have Maybe murder her or something..it doesn't matter...but..well, I hope you're not "upset" with me....I sincerely apologize..and please..don't worry about me...I'm sorry..this doesn't mean I won't post anymore..just not that often..till things work out. Hope you all understand)

------------------
**Kim**
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."


[This message has been edited by Losien (edited July 22, 2000).]

[Krig the Viking]

Krig smiles at Losien. Having nothing else to do, he continues to smile. While smiling, he looks something like this:

http://vikingvoyage.homestead.com/files/krig01.jpg



------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Gebohq]

(NSP: You couldn't resist putting in ya pic, could cha? I eman, if I could draw that well, I wouldn't be able to either...but still!)

[Losien]

(NSP: OK, OK...too many people are telling me that I should still write for NES. The only thing is..well, I've been really busy lately, as I'm sure you all understand. As much as I'd love to be a "dedicated" writer, it's hard with such a hectic life. I will still post whenever I get the chance, as long as I don't feel stupid. :-))

"Well," said Losien.

"So how about the Cracker Hut?" asked Joe.

"The Cracker Hut? For what?" asked Losien w/ a puzzled look on her face.

"For dinner tonight, remember?"

"Oh, oh, yes..I remember" (completely spacing it when she noticed Krig was smiling towards her..which by the way..that was a great picture :-)) "That sounds..great..how about I meet you there."

"Ok then. I'll see you at 6:00. Great." said Joe w/ a tint of excition in his voice.

//Meanwhile, Losien goes into her office and sits at her desk. Thinking to herself..." Wow..I've never really been out to dinner on a "date" before. It's going to be so weird. I never even thought I'd be attracting to someone. What should I wear? How should I do my hair? Wait..don't worry. I don't have to do anything to impress him...do I? Oh bother!//

//In the other room. Joe sits on a stool in front of a mirror practicing his "welcoming speech." ...."Hey (w/ a bug cheesy smile, one eyebrow raised) How YOU doin'?"...no, that won't work..."Hello, are you ready to play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.."...(slugs his forehead..'Doh..that was stupid.) What am I going to do? I'm going to make a fool out of myself. The first girl I'm asking to dinner, that I really like, and I have no idea what to do!//

[Krig the Viking]

(The temptation to post that pic overcame me... I must be stronger in the future.)

Krig continues to smile after Losien has left. He turns to Geb.

Krig:"Krig can't stop smiling. Krig's jaw locked."

Geb (still insane):"Oh really? Well, perhaps this will unlock it!"

Geb sticks his big rocket launcher into Krig's face.

Krig:"Krig not think that work good. Wait, Krig not smiling! Not shoot!"

Geb:"Oh, I'm afraid it's too late for that now..."

Homer Simpson walks by with a black eye.

Homer:"Watch out for that little muppet guy! He's got a mean left hook!"

Suddenly, a rumble is heard in the distance, getting louder. As it reaches a cresendo, an enormous herd of rubber duckies bursts into the Arena from all entrances and exits. The group of hero types stands stock still in the middle of the Arena, as the duckies swarm around them. From the corner of the Arena, Ernie enters, riding the wave of duckies.

Ernie:"You have enraged me enough! You shall all perish by the wrath of my rubber duckies!"

Both Krig and Geb's left eyes twitch in unison.

What will happen to our heroic hardy heroes? Will they perish a painful demise? Or will they overcome the overwhelming overdog? Find out at some point in the future, at some point in space!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[TheOtter]

*As Ernie and his Rubber Duckies are closing in on the group, Otter remembers Ernie's Achilles Heel, his former friend & Ally....BERT!*

¤Otter sends up a column of fire to signal Bert¤

*Yahweh smacks down Otter's column of fire, and booms--

YHWH:"HEY! THATS MY BIT, CREATE YOUR OWN SIGNAL!"

Otter(dissapointed):"Aww, stupid omnipresent higher being thinks hes better than me...

YHWH:"I HEARD THAT!"

Otter:"But what to do, what to do...oh, i know!"

*Otter throws up an electronic sign w/ the letters "HELP" superimposed on it*

¤'Ride of the Valkyries' is heard and over the arena appear Bert's fleet of killer pigeons(Bert's pigeon that hes riding on is Bernard), w/ him leading them to kill Ernie¤

Bert:"Die! You slow-witted lazy roommate! Die!"

--WE INTTERUPT THIS BROADCAST--

NewsAnchor:"Today is a very, very sad day in history. For today @ Las Vegas ,Yanni was devoured by Sigfried & Roy's tiger, Tsa-Tsa."

--WE NOW BRING YOU TO THE NEVERENDING STORY THREAD PAGE....10?! GOOD GOD DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO LIFES OR WHAT! I MEAN COME O//

Narrator:"The NewsAnchor has just been sacked."

*@ the arena*

Antestarr:"Haha, gee Bert that sure was a great battle!"

Bert:"Haha, it sure was Ante, it sure was."

*everyone starts to laugh*

¤Swedish Bikini squad appear in the arena and start to Go-Go dance for no apparent reason @ all*


------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus



[This message has been edited by TheOtter (edited July 23, 2000).]

[Krig the Viking]

Krig starts go-go dancing with Swedish Bikini squad.

(hehe, the Bert and pidgeons thing was sheer genius!)


[woohoo, 11 pages!]
------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited July 23, 2000).]

[Losien]

(NSP: Who is in the Swedish Bikini Club?? LOL..just wondering :-)

[Lord_Crud]

*shoots narrator*

[Lord_Crud]

*shoots narrator again*


/Idiot double posts\

[This message has been edited by Lord_Crud (edited July 24, 2000).]

[Semievil333]

Sem the storywriter: "That was a good one Otter, and it will be good to have Bernard back in the story, but now what do we do for an evil arch enemy?" <all eyes settle on Sem> "..... What!?!?"

Sem(the character): "Hey! What's going on up there! I demand to know!"
A note falls from the sky, and Sem reads it.
Sem: "WHAT THE SHAZBOT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!? You SICK, SICK people!!!"
A note is delivered to Sem by Ares(Ares' divine nature allows him to leave the story and enter the office at will)
Sem: "If it's everyone vs. Sem I better get a badass weapon!"

In a few hours, the entire cast of NES is assembled opposite Sem, who is wielding a gun the size of an aircraft carrier.

Ares waves the start flag, and Sem aims his weapon.
Sem: "Let's see what this baby can do!"

The gun makes impressive power-up noises for about 45 seconds and a giant ball of fire forms in the barrel, before a small flag pops out of the end of the gun, with "bang!" written on it in black letters.
Sem: "Fuq"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Krig stands in the crowd of heroes opposing Sem, obviously confused.

Krig:"We got plenty bad guys left! Dr. Evil fella, Darkside fella, Narrator fella..."

Otter:"Hey, we aren't supposed to know about Darkside! See here, in the script, we don't find out about Darkside until three posts from now!"

Maybe:"What are you, stupid? We're not following the script!"

Otter:"Oh. Yeah, now that I look at it, this script is nothing like what's happened so far... hey! This isn't even a script! It's just a bunch of words jumbled together!"

Sem:"Hey, let me see that!"

Otter:"Ok, here, see--wait a minute, we're supposed to be fighting you!"

Sem:"Oh, right, crud."

Just then, the sky darkens, and a looming shadow falls over the Arena.

Random guy walking past Arena:"Look out! It's the infamous Darkside!!! AAAHHHH!!!"

The boiling black clouds shift around, and form into the image of Darkside.
Krig:"That funny trick. Dark clouds in sky look like evil clown."

A bolt of lightning hits Krig. He stumbles away, mumbling about rental car price gouging.

Darkside:"I am Darkside. I am the collective of all the souls of the Darkside. You will all join me, or perish horribly!"

Maybe:"Oh, no!"
Otter:"Aye, Carumba!"
Geb:"Ow, my head"
Losien:"Oh, this is all my fault!"
Ante:"Uh-oh"
Joe the sound guy:"..."
Uncle Tusk:"Ooh, a fight!"
Homer:"D'oh!"
Krig:"Grrrrrr..."
Leftover Rubber Duckie:"Squeak!"
Sem:"Alright!"

Everybody looks at Sem.

Sem:"What? I'm evil now, ok?"

Is this the end of the Neverending Story as we know it? How will our courageous - and not so courageous heroes get out of this one? What kind of pitiful fool thinks he can kill me with merely a gun? Mwa ha ha ha. Tune in next time for more Senseless Nonsense!!!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

Losien: "It's all my fault...all my fault. None of this would be happening if I wasn't here...or would it?"

Geb: " It's not your fault. Why do you always think it's your fault?"

Losien: "It is my fault..and I always think it is my fault, because it usually is," says Los realizing she sounded a little repetitive.

Geb: "Remember when we were little..."

//Meanwhile, Darkside is planning to take all the souls..and Geb and Los are remembering the past//

Darkside: "You will join me or perish horribly!"

Director: Cut! Cut! I know we're not following the script all the way, but that was totally off. You need more evil in your voice. Try it again.

Darkside sighs : "You will join me, or perish horribly!"

Director: There, that's more like it. Come on, you all should be screaming for your lives now. (to himself)Geez, I don't know how I got stuck with a bunch of insane people like them. (to the crew) Take 5 minutes and come back ready!




[This message has been edited by Losien (edited July 25, 2000).]

[Losien]

Losien: "It's all my fault...all my fault. None of this would be happening if I was here...or would it?"

Geb: " It's not your fault. Why do you always think it's your fault?"

Losien: "It is my fault..and I always think it is my fauly, because it usually is," says Los realizing she sounded a little repetitive.

Geb: "Remember when we were little..."

//Meanwhile, Darkside is planning to take all the souls..and Geb and Los are remembering the past//

Darkside: "You will join me or perish horribly!"

Director: Cut! Cut! I know we're not following the script all the way, but that was totally off. You need more darkness in your voice. Try it again.

Darkside sighs : "You will join me, or perish horribly!"

Director: There, that's more like it. Come on, you all should be screaming for your lives now. (to himself)Geez, I don't know how I got stuck with a bunch of insane people like them. (to the crew) Take 5 minutes and come back ready!

[Krig the Viking]

Five minutes later...

Geb:"Well, in that five minutes, we went to Hong Kong and solved a murder mystery, gang!"

Ante:"Yeah, we were there Geb. We know."

Geb, pointing at camera:"Yeah, but the audience doesn't know!"

Darkside:"Whilst you pitiful do-gooders were gone, I took the souls of all in this Arena, including the camera crew!"

Losien:"Oh, no! Joe!"

Darkside:"He's mine, now! And you're next, Losien!"

Instantly, all the guys jump between Losien and Darkside, fighting for the right to be heroic in front of the female.

Darkside:"HAHAHAHA!! You pitiful fools!"

Maybe:"Hey, I think I heard that line in a movie once!"

Maybe gets struck by a bolt of pure black lightning from the tips of Darkside's... robes.

Darkside:"You dare defy ME?! You shall all PERISH!"

Darkside draws up his arms and begins waving them around spookily. Magicky stuff begins flying around in the air.

Oh horror of horrors! What is in store for our "heroes" next? Will they finally be defeated? Or will they finally do something right? Or will something funny happen? YOU decide... that's right, the first caller who accurately predicts what type of post the next post will be gets a free lolipop! Tune in next time, on blah blah blah - you know what I'm sayin'.

[Losien]

(NSP: Sorry about that double post! :-) Please forgive me!)

[Losien]

Suddenly Darkside stops.

"Where's the cream filling?" he asks.

Stunded, everyone looks at Darkside with an expression of confusion.

"Come on, I said...Where's the cream filling? Is anyone going to tell me or am I going to have to run back to the store an ask for a refund?" says Darkside with a very annoying tone.

"What are you talking about?" asks Losien as she breaks away from the group of men.

"The cream filling! I recited a spell for these here Twinkies, and there is NO cream filling."

//No one quite sure knows how to respond to this. The "lights guy" (a former McDonalds employee) jumps into the conversation//

"Well, umm..(in a cheery voice) Would you like fries with that...Sir?" he asks.

"What the heck are you talking about? Did I say anything about fries? I was talking about Cream.."he starts being interrupted.

"Cream of Wheat?" jumps in the "Quaker Oat Guy" (who came from thin air).

//Losien starts going insane. She can't take it anymore//

"Please, everyone, stop already. I can't take this anymore. It's like being in a room of toddlers. You are all driving me insane." said Losien, in the calmest voice possible.

"Take a chill pill." said Darkside.

//Losien burrys her head in her hands once again trying to think things straight in her mind. Why'd she even come her in the first place...she wondered. What am I supposed to do next?//

[Gebohq]

(NSP: Well, Krig beat me to teh post before I could suggest Darkside's evil plot of infesting double posts into this thread. Oh well, prolly for the better.)

Darkside: *after laughing maniaclly for too long fo a time* We shall destroy you now.

Geb: We?

Ante: I think he means Sem and himself.

Sem: I sure hope not. Takes too much effort to go detroying things with your bare hands and all.

Darkside: SILENCE! We are the collective souls of the sith, and we will have no more of your petty arguments.

Geb: You really need to get some counseling about those voices in your head.

Otter: So how are we going to defeat this oh-powerful one again?

*Maybe starts to go through the Interactive story Board archives to find a story called "Sith Hell"...*

(NSP: Yes, my funniness has dulled over the posts. I hope I pick up again.)

[Losien]

(NSP: Sorry if I messed up your plans Geb, I didn't mean to :-(

[Krig the Viking]

(NSP: You didn't mess up his plans, Losien, I did! Not everything's your fault! http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif )

Maybe gets struck by lightning for trying to look up info on Darkside.

Darkside:"You will all perish!"

Geb:"You know, we've been standing here for an awfully long time, and you really haven't done anything vile or evil yet... y'know, besides striking people with lightning and stealing the camera crew's souls and all..."

Darkside:"WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!"

A humungous explosion of energy goes off, and the entire crew of heroes - as well as the soul-less camera crew - go flying out of the Arena.

Outside the Arena, under the huge pile of people:

Krig:"Ugh. You all get off Krig now or Krig smash mightily."

Otter:"Ow! Someone's foot is in my eye!"

Geb:"Ow, someone's eye is in my foot!"

Camera guy:"Lemme up, this angle's horrible!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the PPV office...

Head Guy:"What's our ratings?"

Assistant:"We're up ninety percent! Apparently people like watching the cast get the snot beat out of them!"

Head Guy:"Reeeeeeeeally?"

Head Guy grins evilly.

What will befall our seriously stumped stars? Do YOU know? I'll just bet you don't!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

//At the PPV office//

Head Guy : (to himself) Hmm..imagine. If the viewers enjoy watching the cast members get the snot beaten out of them, what else would they enjoy? (To the assistant) "Are our ratings higher than Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"

Assistant: "Finally they are! I can't believe it either. But that 'Survivor' show, we beat that months ago, believe it or not."

Head Guy: "Wow. That's great. Now we have to keep our ratings up there. I think we should have a meeting with all the cast members on what we should plan next. I'll go tell them."

//Head Guy walks out of the office and sees the cast members in a huge pile with Krig fighting his way out//

Head Guy: "What happened?"

Geb: "We're playing Twister. What's it look like?" asks Gebohq, sarcastically.

Head Guy: "Geez, I think we're going to have to have a meeting. Our ratings are in first right now. They've gone up 90% in the last, well...10 minutes. Let's meet tomorrow to discuss our progress. Does anyone object?"

Krig: "Do we get food?"

Otter: "Yeah. If we show up to this meeting, is there going to be food?"

Head Guy: "Of course. We'll have some Pizza, Cheese and Crackers..everything. By the way, where's Losien?"

//Meanwhile, on the other side of the Arena, Losien and Joe were sitting together. Losien was speechless as she sat there looking into his eyes.//

Joe: "Well...now what?"

(NSP: Woohoo! I fixed my computer. I'm so...proud of myself! LOL...even "computer-dumb" people like myself, can sometimes figure out what's wrong w/ their comp!)



[This message has been edited by Losien (edited July 26, 2000).]

[Krig the Viking]

Krig and the others sit in the office of the Head Guy.

Head guy:"Now, guys, babes, muchachos, first of all I want to tell you you were great out there! Fantastic!"

Krig:"Krig want food now."

Geb:"Ya know, we really should get back to saving the world..."

Head guy:"Stop worryin! Everything's gonna be fine! Now, what I want you guys to do is beat the snot out of each other more often, ok? Maybe we could get a rivalry going between Geb and Maybe as to who's the leader, or we could use this "Everybody-loves-Losien" thing for a big brawl scene, whaddaya say?"

Ante:"So... what your saying is; you want us to act in addition to saving the world?"

Head guy:"Exactly! Now, this whole 'saving the world' thing ain't goin' over well with the public. You're gonna hafta tone it down a bit."

Maybe:"You want us to stop saving the world?"

Krig:"Where food?"

Head guy:"Well, don't stop, we just gotta tone it down a bit. Like, say, let the bad guy win a bit more. The audience'll love that!"

Krig:"YOU GIVE KRIG FOOD NOW!!"

Head guy:"Oh, that was just a gimmik to get ya in here. Now, let's discuss contracts..."

Krig's left eye twitches. With an earth shaking roar, he leaps at the Head Guy and grabs his jacket.

Krig:"You give Krig food NOW!!"

Head guy:"Hey, woa, woa, alright there, guy!"

He snaps his fingers.

Head guy:"Jaques! Get this man some food!"

Jaques:"Yes sir. This way, Master Krig."

Just then, there is an enormous rumble.

Head guy:"Earthquake! Everybody get outta my way!"

He runs towards the doorway.

Geb:"This is no earthquake. This is..."

Just then, the floor just beneath the Head guy's desk explodes, and Darkside bursts up, ala 'End of Days'.

Darkside:"You will join us!"

Ayayay! What will happen? Why do I repeat virtually the same thing every time? Tune in next time for more insane fun!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Gebohq]

Sem: Eep! I must find more Coke...

Maybe: How can you think about eating at a time like this?

Otter: Well, he's technically not thinking about eating--

Maybe: Hush you!

Geb: --we guys think with our stomachs, Maybechild.

Maybe: Yeah, and with your balls too. *in an even more sarcastic tone* And you must be thinking awefully hard cuz you all scratch them so much.

Ante: Gives a whole new spin to teh phrase "giving head", huh?

Krig: Maybe-lady sure not winning any brownie points...

*Darkside, after having stared at the speaking members, moves his arms as if to stop an orchestra, his dark robes waving dramatically.*

Darkside: SILENCE!!!

Morris: *having been lured by teh prospect of food* Poor you. *Showing him a box of donuts he was holding* Care for one?

Darkside: Actually, I really need a good asprin--er, I mean, WE WILL HAVE NO MORE OF THIS!

*And with a wave of his hands, a mystical swirl opens, sucking himself and the entire cast. Before being sucked in, however, Geb's arm stretches out for a box of donuts, suceeds, and is reeled into the closing mystical swirl. Ares finds himself staring now at hte floating Darkside, the others preparing to defend themselves. Geb meanwhile holds teh box to Ares.*

Geb: You know you want one...

Ares: Why do I all of a sudden have the strangest sense of deja-vu? Screw this--time to use my hostin' powers--*guy off set taps him on teh shoulder and wispers something* What? Damn PPV coorperates, I knew I shoulda never signed that contract giving them full power over it.

*munching on donuts* Yeah yeah, I'm getting to it... *ahem* Tune in next time folks, for another exciting post of the Neverending Story thread! Course, you all know I'm the real star of this thread here...

[Gebohq]

(*ahem* A preview, if the Neverending Story Thread ever became a movie)

*A black screen is seen, and the voices of two guys, more than likely "writers" of this story, are heard.*

Guy #1: What? They want a preview? Oh for cryin' out loud. OK-ok, might as well...let's get a good start here...

In a world...

Guy #2: Oh-oh, good start. All good previews start out like that. Let's go on...

...where creators fight for freedom...

Guy #1: Creators?
Guy #2: The bad writers. Remember? Ares challanged them all to fight him to the death?
Guy #2; Oh yeah, that's right. Hmm, we should prolly show the viewers something right here.

*A sexy and scantily-clad woman appears on the black backdrop.*

...(in Duke Nukem style)and to save the babes, baby....

Guy #1: OK, we covered the scantily-clad women, the copyright infringing...anything else?
Guy #2: Yes...

*A second lady, much like the first, appears on the black screen. She is holding a box of donuts. She takes one out and eats it with as much sexual intention as possible*

Guy #1: Yeup, two are always better than one. Especially those two.
Guy #2: Course, we can ignore the fact that we lost at least one half of the viewers here.
Guy #1: Well, maybe we can throw in a chic-flick part once in a well. Or just hire Mel Gibson.
Guy #2: And Tom Cruise. They can't resist them.
Guy #1: Um...Shouldn't we give the viewers a better idea of what this movie is about?
Guy #2: No no, suspense is much better. It'll itch at their minds as to what it's actually about.
Guy #1: How about at least a title?
Guy #2: They ask for so much...

*The woman not holding the box of donuts pulls out a remote from nowhere, pints it at the audience, and clicks it, zapping thr picture into a PPV-like screen that says "The Neverending Story-The Movie 2000, featuring Polk-a-mon" along with date and other such stuff.*

Guy#1: Polk-a-mon?
Guy #2: Yeah, like Pokemon, but not quite. So we can beat the crap outta them. Gets us our lisence to produce this movie anyways.
Guy#1: Oh good...

(Whadda ya think?)

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited July 27, 2000).]

[Losien]

(NSP: I really like it Geb! LOL..it's great...you always make me laugh with your posts about if the story became a movie..you're great at that :-)

//Meanwhile, Joe meets up with Losien//

Joe: "Losien, why are you always so down on yourself? Everyone, including myself, really likes you. You're a great person, not to mention, you're beautiful."

Losien: "Well, it's a really long story."

Joe: "Well, I have a lot of time."

Losien: "Well, generally speaking.."It's a story, of an ugly lady, who was living in a very small town. She has problems, yes she has problems, and she's not fun to be around...(goes on and on) Until, one day when this lady met this fellow, and he felt as if he was destined to be with her...but sooner or later, would he find out...she only wanted him for his cheese and crackers. His cheese and crakers, his cheese and crackers. She only wanted him...for his cheese and crackers"
(to the tune of the Brady Bunch song)

Joe: Staring blankly "You mean, you're only using me for cheese and crackers?"

Losien: "Well, no. I mean, I don't know."

Joe: "What do you mean?"

Losien: "Well, I don't know that either."

Joe: "I thought you liked me."

Losien: "Well, I don't not (double negatives) like you, it's just..I like cheese and crackers. That's all I'm saying."

Joe: (very emotional by now) "I see how it is. A guy comes to try and be your friends, and you only want his cheese and crackers. What kind of person are you?"

Losien: "I'm not sure. I've been trying to ask myself that for a long time."

Joe: "Well, maybe you should see some kind of specialist."

Losien: "What kind of specialist? Do you think I have a mental problem?"

Joe: "No. I was talking about the craving for cheese and crackers."

Losien: "Oh. I'll think about it."

Joe: "Yeah, and if you ever get things straightened out, give me a call."

Losien: "Sure."

//Joe walks away...leaving Losien by herself//

Losien: (to herself) "Well, was it wrong to tell him the story? I think I made a mistake. The first guy to really like me for who I am, and I was using him. Is there any way I can make up for what I've done? He'll probably tell everyone, and I'll never have another friend for as long as I live. Speaking of living, I'm surprised I'm still here. I haven't gotten any more threat letters from Maybe. That's a relief. Hmm.."

//Losien wanders off to go find the rest of the cast//

(NSP: I know that was a really dumb post..I'm sorry..lol..I'm in a dumb mood..not by choice)

[Gebohq]

Darkside: Mwahahaha, pathetic fools. We can easily take you on with THIS!

*Darkside has Losien poof out of nowhere, right next to his grasp.*

Geb: NOO! You fiend! Let her go!

Darkside: Alright.

*Darkside pushes Losien int eh direction of Geb.*

Geb: Well that was easy...hey sis. Haven't seen ya in a while.
Los: Yeup
Geb: Come to think of it, I'm not ever sure I've seen ya.
Los: Eh, go figure.
Geb: I've always wanted a younger sister...
Los: You have?
Geb: Yes, so I could give 'em a NOOGIE!

*Gebohq gives Losien a noogie, while she stands there befuddled as to what to do. Gebohq stops in confusion to her lack of resistance.*

Geb: Why aren't you trying to get away?
Los: I dunno, I didn't think abuot it.
Geb: That's pretty dumb...hey, no person can be that dumb...*looks at Darkside acusingly*

Darkside: Yes, it is we who has stupidfied her! And we didn't even have to make her blonde.

Geb: That IS evil.

What will happen to our stupified friend, Losien? Does this twist in events even really affect anything later on? I'm starting to think I was stupidfied now because I ask so many questions...

[Losien]

Losien: "Wow, Geb. It's good to see you."

Geb: "Yeah, same here."

Losien: "So, I bet you've always wanted a sister, but not one like me, right?"

Geb: "What do you mean?"

Losien: "You said you've always wanted a sister, but I'm sure you weren't expecting one like me."

Geb: "What are you talking about? You're a great sister."

Losien: "Yeah, if only that was true."

Geb: "It is true. Why can't you believe anyone?"

Losien: "Well, it's just, there's been so much going on. People have told me so many different things, I don't know what to believe anymore."

//Geb suddenly decides to try the "noogie" on Losien again, to see if there is a different reaction//

Losien: (jumps) "Geb! (laughs uncontrolably) Stttttooooppp(she yells as trying to get away)"

Geb: "That's more like it! It's good to see you smile."

Darkside: "Well, don't expect to see it anytime again. I've almost completely taken her soul..there's not much you can do now."

Geb: "Well, I'm going to do all I can (stands up trying to look as "buff" as he can)"

Darkside: "Try as you wish, but I guarentee you, trying won't get you anywhere..Mwahahaha."

[Krig the Viking]

Krig jumps up and knocks Geb out of the way.

Krig:"Krig hero of story! Krig confrot stinky man! Not Geb!"

Geb:"Stinky man? I think your getting him confused with someone else..."

Krig:"Geb be quiet! Krig hero! Krig smash!"

Krig turns to Darkside.

Krig:"Krig smash Darky man into little eetsie beetsie pieces!"

Krig lunges, roaring, at Darkside. Insanely, he hacks away at the nebulous form, doing absolutely squat in terms of damage.

Darkside:"You pitiful, insolent infedel! You have angered us for the last time!!"

Krig:"How many HP does Darky man have??"

Darkside, in deep, menacing voice:"More than all of you combined."

With a wave of his hands, Krig dissapears. So does the box of donuts that Geb had brought along.

Otter:"Oh, no, not the donuts!"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Canadian Parliment, the demon that had been banished there sits on his throne, ruler of all Canada (as well as parts of the US). There is a flash of blinding light, and the room goes black. When the lights come back on, Krig is sitting where the demon had been, in the throne.

Krig:"Krig SMASH Dark -- huh?"

All the politicians hesitate for a moment, and then begin to grovel at Krig's feet.

Krig:"Krig confused..."

What will happen to our daring and dashing heroes? Will the little Viking get crowned emporer of Canada? What happened to that demon? Who in their right mind would grovel at the Viking's feet? Find out the answers and more than you wanted to know in the next installment of... whatever this is called.

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

Losien: "Where'd Krig go?"

Geb: "Why, I don't know."

Darkside: "Mwhahah..you'll never see him again."

Losien: "What are you talking about? I'm sure we'll see him."

Darkside: "Don't be so sure. He's in Canada."

Geb: "Canada?"

Losien: "Why is he in Canada?"

Darkside: "Because."

Geb: "Because why?"

Darkside: " None of your business."

Geb: "Is too!"

Losien: "Stop! You both sound like a couple of little children. What's going on?"

Geb: "He started it!"

Darkside: "No, he did."

Losien: "Please, stop."

//Everyone sighs//

Geb: "Come on Losien, let's get out of here."

Darkside: "Fine, leave...but I still will win Losien's soul."

Geb: "No you won't, not if I have anything to d..."

Losien: (cuts Geb off) "It doesn't matter Geb. Don't worry. I don't even have a soul."

Darkside: "What? You don't have a soul? What are you?"

Geb: "Losien, you know that's not true. You have a beautif.."

Losien: (covers her ears and screams) "No I don't, no I don't."

//Losien stands there remembering the times when she was younger. When she was happy. The time she met the Sugar Plum Fairy in Candyland. The only time she was truly happy in life//

Geb: "Come on Losien. Let's go somewhere to catch up on things."

Losien: (sobbing) " OK...(*sniff*), OK"

//Geb comforts his sister, and they begin to walk to Geb's house//

Geb: "This is my house. What do you think?"

Losien: "Wow, this is your house? It's a great place Geb. I'm proud you've been so successful in life. I guess there's always one "bad seed" in the family. One person that doesn't succeed well in life. I'm glad it wasn't you. You deserve all this. You've worked hard."

Geb: "Now wait a minute. What are you talking about? You're not a "bad seed"

Losien: "Well, I'm not a "good seed" either. What am I?"

Geb: "You're my sister. The best sister I could have. Why can't you see that?"

Losien: "So, anyways..how long have you lived here?"

Geb: "Don't change the subject. I asked you a question. Why can't you see that?"

Losien: "See what? What are you talking about?"

Geb: "You know what I'm talking about. Don't play stupid."

Losien: "That's the thing Geb. I don't play stupid, it's just how I am."

Geb: (frustrated) "Losien..(*sighs*) someday I'll make you see the truth, someday..I promise."

Losien: "Geb, I already know the truth..I already know."

Geb: "No you don't...you don't."

Losien: (*sighs*) "Do you have any water?"

Geb: "Yeah, I'll go get you a glass. I'll be right back."

Losien: (to herself) Why can't I make him see. He's my brother, he should understand how I feel. Mom and Dad never said anything to him to make him feel like this. He doesn't know what it's like to be ugly and dumb. He doesn't know what it's like to not feel loved by his parents, because mom and dad loved him..not me.

Geb: "Here you go..oops! (spills water all over Losien)..Sorry."

Losien: "You idiot..(laughs) you did that on purpose!"

Geb: "Maybe I did. Now you're smiling. I like that."

Losien: "Oh yeah. What happened to Krig?"

Geb: "I don't know, let's go see if we can find anything out."

//Walk out of his house and start to go back to the Arena to see if there are any clues as to where Krig may have went//

(NSP: Well, I'm almost leaving for vacation...2 more days, so I won't be able to post :-( I'm sorry..but I will when I come back!)

[TheOtter]

--Canadian Parliement--

*All members are groveling to the confused Krig*

Man from Ontario:"Why do you grovel to this strange and mysterious carnie?! We should punish him for killing our beloved leader Sir Devil!"

Man from Nova Scotia:"?"

Man from Ontario:"Sir Devil built Community colleges & hospitals, improved the road sysytem, cut taxes, and reformed health care, and lest us not forget that he built up our military!"

Whole Parliement:"yeh...YEAH!"

Krig(still confused):"Uhhh...you gonna do what now?"

*the Canadian Parliement, a hockey player, a Mountie, and a moose throw Krig over the Canadian border into the States*

ALL:"AND STAY OUT!"

Krig:"Uggh, Krig's head hurt from senseless beating and confusion...NOW where am I?"

*then all of a sudden 5 big & tall tough looking Black guys loom over Krig and smile menancingly w/ their mostly golden teeth*

GANG:"Welcome to Detroit, SUCKAH!"

*just about when the gang were to descend on Krig w/ their lead pipes and swithcblades--

Shadow from back of the alley:"You boys better get up and go, or I'll make you..."(kracks knuckles)

GANG:"It's T!"(drop their weapons and run away)

Krig:"Mr.T!"

Mr. T:"I pity the fool who beat up on Viking Boy!"




------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr the writer looks up from his storyboard.*

Ante (to self): Soon... very soon, I shall unleash the greatest evil to ever wreak havoc on the Never Ending Story.... Even more evil than Darkside. Truly my greatest idea ever... although it will take time and effort to do... stupid effort.

[Losien]

(NSP: I don't really know what to write right now, I'm leaving tomorrow, early morning for vacation. I don't know if I'll be able to get on later today or not, I'm really busy. I have to work, and then I have to pack all my stuff...(what fun!) and..yeah. I don't know. I'm going to be gone for a week..:-( *sniff sniff* Don't miss me too much, if at all :-) I'll be back (I'm sorry) Well...let's see..)

Losien: "Geez, we're never going to find Krig. What should we do?"

Geb: "I don't know, why don't we just wait here and see if he shows up?"

Losien: "Wait here? What if he doesn't show up?"

Geb: "Well, I don't know. Wanna play Candyland?"

Losien: "Candyland? Why Candyland?"

Geb: "I remember, it was your favorite game."

Losien: "How did you know that?"

Geb: "I just know. So, what do you say? Are you up to it?"

Losien: "Sure, why not. There's nothing better to do."

Geb: (pulls out the game from a closet) "What color do you want to be? I'm blue."

Losien: "Well, I'll be yellow."

Geb: "OK you go first."

Losien: (sighs and picks a card) "Double Red. Woohoo! (laughs)"

Geb: (picks a card) "Blue. Yeah."

Losien: (laughs..picks a card) "It's OK Geb, you'll catch up. We're just starting."

(all I have time for..hope you all have fun while I'm gone! LOL..later! **kiM**)

[Krig the Viking]

Krig:"Mistah Teee...."

Mr. T:"Tha's right, an' I'm here to kick some hoo'lum butt!"

Krig:"Krig lost. Krig want find Arena again."

Mr. T:"Well, c'mon! We gon' find this here "Arena", or mah name ain't Mistuh T!"

Krig:"Tee know where Arena is?"

Mr. T:"Well not ezactly, but we gonna find out, right Vikin' boy?"

Krig:"Krig eat small birdies."

Mr. T:"Uh, yeah, okay. Now les go fin' this "Arena" of yours."

Krig and Mr. T start walking down the street, hitching thumbs out.

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Krig the Viking]

Krig and Mr. T continue slowly wandering down the road. Krig holds up a cardboard sign that says "Arena" on it.

Krig:"Krig fear bad things happen to writers. Nothing happen for long time."

Mr. T:"If one o' them cars don' stop soon, Ah'm gonna start gettin' angry!!"

Krig:"Krig not get angry. Krig go insane."

Just then, a very familiar looking Viper pulls up beside Krig and Mr. T.

Guy in car:"Need a lift?"

Krig:"This car look familiar... Krig remember driving car."

Mr. T:"Hey, foo', this car's been hot-wired!"

Guy in car:"Uh... no it hasn't. I was just... working on the ignition!"

Krig:"Krig not think you is Ares..."

Guy in car:"Uh... of course I'm Ares... why else would I be driving this car?"

Krig:"Makes sense to Krig!"

Krig and Mr. T hop into the Viper. The car peels out, leaving big long black streaks on the road.

What will happen now? Will Ares find out that some car theif has stolen his car? Will he blame Krig? Will Krig and Mr. T ever get back to the Arena? Find out when--and if-- the Neverending Story Returns!!"

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Gebohq]

*Back at Geb's pad o' fun, Gebohq and Losien continue with the world's longest game of "Candyland". Gebohq picks up another card.*

Geb: Man, what the hell does THIS card mean? I'm starting to think something's fishy with this game...

*The audience notices the cards are not board game cards but in fact poker cards. Neither Los nor Geb seem to notice though, and try to continue to play the game.*

Los: *sigh* I know you haven't won only to try to make me feel better, but you can really stop now and win already.

Geb: Trust me, I would have 3 days ago if I knew how.

Los: And we should be looking for Krig anyways

Geb: *his laziness overpowering him* Um, no. Let's finihs this game first...
----------------
*Meanwhile, the writers look at Ante suspicisiousousisuoiusuoiss-ly for this "evil plot" he was scheming.*

(hint hint, give us a hint)

[Semievil333]

Ante the writer: "It has to do with a raccoonking, deeznuts right here, eriamjh, and 1 Jediwannabe."
Geb the writer: "Hmmm...... Don't start without me, I'll be right back."
Sem the writer calls after Geb: "Goin' ta get your yodajammies Geb?" and breaks down laughing, until a cold look from Maybe the writer silences him.
Maybe the writer: "What's so funny?"
Los the writer: "I don't get it<sniff>"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr feverishly looks around to make sure nobody is looking at his work in progress (which in the "real world" has yet to be begun, but that's another story.) //Hmm... if my house hadn't been invaded by children, maybe I'd have done this by now... probably not.// He mused. Typing at his keyboard, a person nearby forest nymph that somehow found her way into the writer's room spied a single word on Ante's glowing computer screen... "Bonjour"...*

[Gebohq]

*Zing*

(Yes, I'm leaving it up to someone ELSE to decide what hte hell the zing is http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif hehe)

[Losien]

Losien: "(Yawns) When is this ever going to be over?"

Gebohq: "Once you win."

Losien: "I for sure thought I was doing really good. Now it seems as if I'll never make it to the end."

Gebohq: "I know what you mean."

Losien: "I've been on this yellow square forever!"

Gebohq: " Yeah, and I've been stuck in the Lollipop Land."

Losien: "Come on Geb, just win already. You'll put us both out of this misery."

Gebohq: "I can't. I don't know how!"

Losien: "Well, figure out a way."

Gebohq: "Do you have the instructions?"

Losien: "I never even thought about that. Let's see...(looks through box) Here they are!"

Gebohq: "Great. Ok..look under "How to Win the Game"

Losien: "OK, OK..I'm looking. Blah, blah, blah. Person must reach the queen at the end of the game board to be declared the winner."

Gebohq: "The queen? How are we supposed to get to the queen?"

Losien: "Hold on. I'm getting there. To get to the queen one must advance by each card they pick or quickly jump to the end by picking a queen card."

Gebohq: "Hmmm. Interesting, wouldn't you say?"

Losien: "Yes..very. So, let's continue."

Gebohq: " Ok."

Losien: "Who's turn is it?"

Gebohq: "It's your turn."

Losien: "No, I thought it was for sure your turn."

Gebohq: "Well, I know it's your turn. So go."

Losien: "It's not my turn though. I know it's yours."

(Their argument goes back and forth for hours. Neither one knowing that the next card would bring them to "victory" and would finally end this game that they never thought could end)

10 hours later

Gebohq: "(yawn) It's your turn. (yawn) Just go.."

Losien: "(yawn) I won't go. It's your (yawn), it's your turn."

[Gebohq]

(NSP: I'm wondering if I'm the only one keeping this thread alive. Nah, Krig is doing his share too. But come on people! We need to do more recruting! Boot camp anyone?)

[Losien]

(NSP: I'm having writer's block..I really am. I have no idea what to write right now, besides a NSP. When I think of something..don't worry..I'll write! Oh yes...I'm up for the Boot Camp..anyone else??!)

[Semievil333]

Geb the writer: "Hey did anyone see where Sem went?"
Krig the writer: "uhhwa?"
GTW: "Sem, you know, writes that 1/2 evil skeleton that's always trying to spiff up his image?"
KTW: "ji?"
GTW: "Nevermind, Maybe, take care of Krig, get him some caffie or something, I'll go look for Sem."
MTW: "What was that?"
GTW: "What? I said get him some coffine."
MTW: "What's that in your hand?"
GTW: "Nothing! I swear!"
Maybe snatches an empty bottle of No-Doz from his hand and Geb starts bouncing around the room.
MTW: "Your not going anywhere like THAT! Ante you go look for Sem"
ATW: "Gotcha"
Ante leaves the office and heads down the street.
ATW, in mystery narrator-syle voice overlay: "It was a dark, lonely night in a city that knew how to keep it's secrets. Although only on the case for a matter of minutes I could tell that it was going to be a very difficult one. These cases where someone with access to mass communication in the middle of a city, who probably wants to be found and has a very distinctive, loud voice are always difficult. I figured I would check out the subject's usual haunts.....
Narrator:"WTF is a HAUNT!?!?!?"
ATW:"It is a place where..."
Narrator:"It's not even a word!"
ATW:"Is so!"
Narrator:"Look I have much more experience being a narrator than you, and I say it's NOT A WORD!!"
<The narrator has been sacked for unruly conduct in posting. Thank you.>
ATW:"As I was saying..."
continuing in detective-narrator style:"It was a dark, lonely night in a city that knew how to keep it's secrets. Although only on the case for a matter of minutes I could tell that it was going to be a very difficult one. These cases where someone with access to mass communication in the middle of a city, who probably wants to be found and has a very distinctive, loud voice are always difficult. I figured I would check out the subject's usual haunts, so I went to the nearest hospital, where I had heard the subject had been admitted once before. I knew it wasn't much, but it was the only place to start from as my subject had never been outside the office save that one, critical instance."
<camera pans out and ATW is seen walking calmly into the hospital front door.>
As Ante walks in a huge stunt unfolds listed in the NES budget as costing over $450,000, but probably closer to $50,000. Sem the writer comes bursting out of the door, breaking through enough layers of glass to build a to-scale model of the Baltimore Aquarium, pushing in front of him a defibulator on a cart. Knocking Ante to the ground he runs off, persued by the entire hospital staff, 2 special ops units, 5 tanks, and 3 combat choppers.
About 1/2 an hour later ATW and STW meet outside the NES office, Sem now dragging the cart behind him, and holding a flightstick apparently from one of the combat choppers. Ante nods inquiringly and Sem says: "Trophy"
Ante: "I thought the storywriter's total power was only over thier carachters."
Sem holds up annother "trophy", a weapon from the special ops crew, and Ante ceases to look inquisitive.
GTW is the next to question: "So what exactly are you going to DO with that defibulator, if they can ever get it in here?"
Geb nods to the exhausted looking 1/2 of a special ops team trying to force the hulking machine(Sem had taken the hospital's oldest, most bulky model) through the door.
STW: "Sem ressucitate story! Krig idea!"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Krig, Mr. T, and the car theif pull up outside the Arena.

Krig:"...two bottle beer on wall, two bottle beer..."

Mr. T:"SHUT UP FOO'! AH'VE HAD ENOUGH O' YOU!"

Car Theif:"Get out of my car! Both of you! NOW!"

Krig and Mr. T stumble out of Are's Viper. The viper peels out and drives away.

Krig:"Krig get drunk from song. Krig go sleep now."

Krig falls over and begins sleeping on the middle of the street. Just then, Ares comes running up in military gear, loaded down with a couple tons worth of assault weaponry.

Ares:"Did you see a guy with my car?"

Mr. T:"He went tha' way, foo'!"

Ares:"Thanks!"

Ares runs off in the direction of his Viper, snapping clips into his various weapons.

Just then, Homer and Uncle Tusk go by, quite drunk.

Will this story survive the incredible shortage of writers? Only I know! Tune in next time, if there is a next time!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

(NSP: I was wondering, for those of you that have ever had "writer's block" what's the average time-span before that passes by? Hmm...I don't know why, but I can't think of anything to write, but I'm still here. :-) I appreciate those of you who are keeping the story alive...if only I could do the same. :-( Well...till I think of something...I'm sorry :-))

------------------
**Kim**
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr, still too lazy to work on his "special project" decides rather to look at his watch in case it's time for a lunch break. Noting the date, he leaps to his feet and runs around the office screaming and making a fool of himself. Meanwhilst, the character in the arena inexplicably does the same...*

Both Ante's: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME ME ME ME!

Maybe: Ummm... am I the only person he's starting to creep out?

Gebohq: No, me too at first...

*The Narrator looks around.*

Narrator: YOU GUYS CALL THIS $#*! A FILLER?! That's it, I quit!

*Well, here's a dilemma. No narrator anymore. Looks like it's time to hold auditions for a new one. TheOtter nails a big paper sign to the side of the writer's office saying "Narrator Tryouts Today: Paper Applicants Need Only Apply"*

[Gebohq]

(NSP: Writer's block can be as short as a day or as long as...um...until you die. Which gives me an idea...)

*In the Massassi Temple's writer's office, while Antestarr was still going beserk, Geb the Writer noticed the lack of Losien. Geb then went out on a search for the lost Losien, and after some time, found her in her cubicle, trapped within a cube that appeared to be made out of glass.*

Geb: Oh no! Los has gotten in writer's block! Man, I need to get some help.

*As Geb the writer goes off to find help from who knows where, narrator auditions are beign held in the arena. Some recognizable ones included Fabio, Mr. T, Pamela Anderson, and Jimmy Stewart (who stood there dead).*

Sem: *at judges' booth* sniff, how I miss the narrator. We could have given him something...a box of donuts maybe. Why did he have to leave?

Maybe: There there...

*Geb the writer thinks, "What will happen now? Perhaps a fight to the death between the bad writers? Oh wait, we did that back on page 1. Hm..." He can't help but think that the arena fighters will go on tour, perhaps. Perhaps also secretly in search of more writers...nah.*

[TheOtter]

Otter: "Hey Maybe, I know who we should pick as the new narrator, but I'll need your help..."

¤2 HOURS LATER¤
Otter: "Wow, the Underworld sure was cool!"

Maybe(smile on face): "Hehe, yeah..--

Otter:" Maybe, return Morrisson back to Hades this instant!"

Maybe:"Aww..."

Masemann:"Hey! Yeah."(suspiciously eyes Maybe)

Geb:"Anyway....who did you pick?"

Otter:"Well for our narrator Maybe raised from the dead poet, playwright and theatre critic,George Bernard Shaw. And well while we were down there I thought we might as well--(interrupted)

Bob Hope:"Hey Bing! Bing! Wheres the bar?"

Otter(rolls his eyes):"Im not Bing! Bings over there."(points to Bing Crosby, who is seranading Losien and Maybe @ the bar)

Geb:"Uh...Otter? Bob Hope isn't--

Maybe:"Yeah, yeah we know. We just restored him to his 1945-self."

Geb:"Oh, ok. But then who is that over there?"

Jimmy Stewart:"Harvey & I are gonna be on the arena floor. Aren't we Harv?"

Harvey:" "

Jimmy Stewart:"HAHAHA....*phew* he, that was real cruel Harv. Hes just kidding Ante, don't worry."

Ante(muttering to himself):"stupid 6 foot tall rabbit, thinks hes all that..."



------------------
---------------
"...remember what the doormouse said, 'Feed your head! Feed your head!"
-Jefferson Airplane
"White Rabbit"

[Krig the Viking]

Krig gets up from the middle of the street, and brushes the various tire marks off. He looks around for Mr. T, who has gone off to fight crime somewhere. Spying the Arena, Krig headed in.

Krig:"Hi Jimmy! Hi Harvey!"

Jimmy:"You -- you can see Harvey?"

Krig:"Krig see Harvey! You no see Harvey?"

Jimmy:"Oh, yeah, yeah. Me and Harv are great friends."

Krig:"Krig friend too."

Krig and Jimmy and Harvey wander over to the bar, which has been rebuilt on top of the giant rock that crushed the old one. Bing serenades, and Maybe and Losien stare at him with glazed eyes.

Krig:"Krig think singy man put spell on ladies. Krig must smash now."

Jimmy:"Oh, don't worry about ol' Bing! Harvey'll take care of him!" *turns to empty seat beside him* "Won't ya Harv?"

Harvy:" "

Suddenly, in the middle of his singing, Bing flies up into the air and sails accross the Arena. Maybe and Losien follow dreamily.

Jimmy:"Now, Harvy, don't you think that was a little bit harsh?"

Harvy:" "

Jimmy:"Well, you can't just throw someone around just because you don't like them! Now you go and apologize to Mr. Crosby."

Harvy:" "

Hi, I'm George Bernard Shaw. Uh... tune in next time.

Geb:"WHAT? That's IT? Can't you do better than that??"

George:"Uh... well, I'm kinda undead... it's really cramping my creative abilities."

Geb:"Oh, great, if you can't do better than that, YOU'RE FIRED!"

George:"Okay."

George stands there for a while.

George:"Now what am I supposed to do?"

Geb:"I dunno! I got enough trouble tryin' to find a new narrator!"

*At the bar*
Krig:"Who you?"

George:"I'm but a lowly poet."

Jimmy:"Uh, Mr. Shaw, you're sitting on Harvey..."

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

Geb: "Whaddya say we call it quits?"

Los: "You mean..end the game..without ending it?"

Geb: "Uh..yeah..that's what I mean."

Los: "But we've made it this far.."

Geb: "What do you mean? We're still at the beginning."

Los: "Well, usually I wouldn't do something like this, but I'll make an exception"

Geb: "We can always find something else to do."

Los: "Like what?"

Geb: "I don't know, something..like.."

Los: "How about.."

Geb: "Why don't we go see what everyone else is up to, and we can decide later."

Los: "Sounds good to me."

(NSP: Hey...sorry this is so short..I couldn't think of much to write..still having writer's block. :-) I'll try and think of something later..once again, sorry my posts are always so stupid!)

[Gebohq]

(NSP: I think we're all in writer's block. Well, I am anywas *oh no, not Geb! Who can save the day now?* I hope I cna think of something, but if I can't, and if anybody else can't, I've had hte perfect "ending" to our story. Let's hope I won't have to use it yet though)

[TheOtter]

(NSP: Hey, guys! We're only 26 posts behind SOD! YEAH! Well now we're only 25! WOOHOO! We need to keep it up, just a little bit longer. Just so we can beat them, they can take our land, but they can never take our FREEDOM! sorry, I thought I was William Wallace for a second there...)

------------------
---------------
"...remember what the doormouse said, 'Feed your head! Feed your head!"
-Jefferson Airplane
"White Rabbit"

[Losien]

(NSP: Geb..you're not the only one with writer's block..lol..I'm with you! :-) It's not really that cool is it?! Nope..lol..I feel really stupid whenever I write something because it's..really stupid. So..we're only..umm..24 posts behind SOD now..right?! That's great..:-) Keep posting everyone! LOL)

[Semievil333]

B. U. M. P.

(Benevolent Upward Mobility Post)

Whohoo!!

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited August 13, 2000).]

[Krig the Viking]

Krig and Jimmy Stewart and George Bernard Shaw are sitting at the bar, with a bunch of other not-so-dead famous guys. Geb and Losien are just getting up from their Candyland marathon, their joints crackling and popping like Rice Krispies. Everybody else is sitting or standing around, staring vacantly into space.

Harvy:" "

Krig:"Krig think space-time have multiple fluxes, as opposed to the traditional one."

Harvy:" "

Krig:"KRIG TELL YOU ALREADY! THREE TIMES! HARVY NOT EVEN GRASP FUNDAMENTAL CONCEPTS OF RELATIVITY??"

Harvy:" "

Jimmy Stewart:"Aw, Harvy, that wasn't very nice!"

As arguing between Krig and Harvy breaks out, Otter suddenly stops his vacant staring into space and looks at the ground.

Otter:"Uh, guys, the ground is shaking..."

Geb:"Oh, it's just an earthquake. They happen all the time."

Suddenly the shaking grows more violent. Krig's beer shakes and bounces it's way to the edge of the counter, and falls off. Everybody's conversation stops, and they all look around at each other, confused by the shaking earth.

Losien:"Eek! The ground is cracking!"

A huge crack has appeared between Losien's feet. Geb pulls her away as the crack becomes wider, getting to be three inches wide and five feet long.

Everybody:"I've got a bad feeling about this..."

Suddenly, the earth erupts into a bast of flying rock and dust. Everyone who was near the crack in the ground goes flying twenty feet or more. As the dust clears, Darkside, standing a full twenty feet tall, slowly rises up from the depths of the earth. When he speaks, his voice sounds like the screaming of a thousand voices, and the rumble of a distant waterfall.

Darkside:"You have angered us enough! You shall all perish!"

Darkside casts his massive arms downward, and a shockwave travels through the earth, spreading outwards from the manifestation of evil. Geb, Losien, Otter, Ante, Sem, Maybe, and Homer Simpson turn and run like heck, diving behind the bar. Unfortunately, the others aren't so lucky, and are thrown up and out of the Arena by the force of the shockwave. As he flies upwards, Bob Hope is grabbed out of the air by Darkside. Everybody turns their head and closes their eyes, and they hear a very loud crunch.

Geb:"And we were wishing something would happen..."

Yes, it is I, the beloved Narrator! I have returned to narrate this story because I couldn't bear to see it ruined by pathetic replacements. Tune in next week to see if I actually keep my job this time!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Losien]

(Behind the bar)

Los: (whispers) "Geb, is it safe?"

Geb: (whispers back) "I don't know, why don't you check."

Los: "I'm not checking. Are you crazy?"

Geb: "Fine, I'll check. Wait. Hey Otter, why don't you check to see if it's safe for us to get out from behind here. It's awfully crowded."

Otter: "What? Why me?"

Los: "Because Geb's too scared. (quietly laughs)"

Geb: "Am not! You are."

Los: "No I'm not, you are."

Geb: "You are!"

Otter: "Come on, come on. Settle down you two. It's not that bad back here. I'll check though, for your sake."

Los: "Thank you Otter. You're such a gentleman..unlike some people I know. (eyes Geb)"

Geb: (sighs) "Make me look like a dork, go ahead."

Los: "I would never intentionally mean to do that. You're a great brother. There's no possibility whatsoever, of you ever looking like a dork, except when you're around me."

Geb: "You mean..all that time we were playing Candyland..I looked like a dork?"

Los: (sighs) "You'll never understand."

Otter: "Coast is clear. I don't know where Darkside could have gone, but he's not here. It's safe to come out."

Geb: "That's a relief. I thought for a moment we'd be stuck there forever."

Los: "Why would that happen?"

Geb: "Well..never mind. You'll never understand."

Otter: "Why don't we all go out to eat?"

Los: "Sounds fun..I'm for it!"

Geb: "I'm not really hungry."

Otter: "Anyone else?"

Everyone else: "Nope, not hungry."

Otter: "Looks like it's just you and me, Los."

Los: "Yeah, guess so. Oh well..(snaps fingers)..Darn!"

(Los and Otter walk out of the bar.)

Otter: "So, where are we going to go?"

Los: "I don't really care. It's up to you."

Otter: "OK, well..how about White Castle?"

Los: "White Castle? I've never heard of it...but if you like it..it must be great."

Otter: "So..White Castle it is!"

(At White Castle)

Los: "So, what are you going to order?"

Otter: "Well, they have these hamburgers that are really small, and you can eat them in a bite or two. That's what I'm getting."

Los: "I'll try that too. Since I've never been here, I don't know what's good..so I'll take advice from you."

Waiter: "Hello, welcome to Castle Burger..what can I get for you?"

Otter: "Well, I'll get 7 castle burgers..and a chocolate milkshake."

Waiter: "Ok, and for you?"

Los: "I'll get 5 castle burgers..and a vanilla milkshake please. Oh yes, and may I have the castle burgers plain..with nothing on them?"

Waiter: "Yes, that's fine. I'll have your food in a moment."

(Waiter walks away)

Los: "Wow, this is a great place."

Otter: "I thought you'd like it. Maybe we should come here more often."

Los: "I think I would like that."

Otter: "Me too."

(MOMENT OF AWKWARD SILENCE)

Waiter: "Here's your food. Enjoy!"

Otter: "Thank you Sir, we will."

Los: (sighs)

Otter: "What's wrong?"

Los: "Oh, nothing. Nothing at all."

Otter: "Are you sure?"

Los: "Yeah, I've just been so busy, I haven't even gotten to know you..and you're already so nice to me."

Otter: "Well, I'm nice to everyone, but I'm glad we're getting to have this time together, to get to know more about each other."

Los: "Me too."

(ANOTHER AWKWARD MOMENT OF SILENCE)

Otter: "So, how long are you planning to stay here?"

Los: "Well, I was going to go back home, but I'm beginning to like it here. Besides, this is where Geb is, and it's nice hanging out with my brother once in a while."

Otter: "I'm sure it is. He's a great guy. He's lucky to have a great sister."

Los: (blushes) "I wouldn't quite say that."

Otter: "What do you mean? You're a great girl."

Los: (speechless) "No one's ever told me that before."

Otter: "Well, you are."

Los: "Thank you. You're an unbelievable guy."

Otter: "No one's ever said that to me either."

Los: "Well, you are."

Otter: "Thank you."

Los: "I don't know if you noticed, but was that just a very repetitive part of the conversation?"

Otter: (laughs) "I guess it was. How's your food."

Los: (looks at her plate of untouched food) "Umm..guess I kind of got too much into the conversation, I haven't even started eating."

Otter: "Well, come on. Take a bite."

Los: (feels awkward eating in front of Otter and takes a bite) "Mmmm, that's really good. I've never been much of a hamburger eater, but this is great."

Otter: "I'm glad you like it."

(Los gets caught up, once again, gazing at Otter's "oh-so-perfect" smile)

(NSP: Well, there, I actually wrote some stuff, even though it's not that great..at least it's a post..right? Right! LOL.)



[This message has been edited by Losien (edited August 14, 2000).]

[Semievil333]

Darkside: "hmm..... cowards."
Darkside begins to wander the arena, surveying the damage. In one spot a cable has come out of the ground, aparently one of the ones that fed the story offices. Darkside leaned down and grabbed the wire to examine it.
Darkside: "Hmmmmmoughk!"
Darkside had touched one of the wires leading to Sem the writer's computer. Darkside made a boo-boo. Darkside now had to find a new body to inhabit, because his old one was... out of service.
Geb: "Holy mother of a flying carp!"
Maybe: "Is there anything left?"
Krig: "Krig think nobody ought to touch that wire anymore."
Sem, smugly: "hehehe yeah.....ougheth!"
Darkside had chosen Sem's body to inhabit now.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Losien]

(walking out of White Castle)

Otter: "Well, I had fun."

Los: "Me too."

Otter: "We should get together again sometime and do something different. Do you like bowling?"

Los: "I love bowling! I haven't been in so long though. That would be a lot of fun."

Otter: "Ok, how about tomorrow?"

Los: (thinks to herself) "Tomorrow is great. I have nothing else planned."

Otter: "OK, great. I'll pick you up at 3:00 PM."

Los: "OK."

Otter: "So now where to?"

Los: "Well, I don't really have anything to do."

Otter: "Me either. Would you like to come over? We could play a game or something. Anything but Candyland."

Los: (laughs) "OK..sounds like fun."

(At Otter's House)

Otter: "Have a seat. Make yourself at home."

Los: "Yes..ok."

Otter: "Would you like something to drink?"

Los: "Umm..no. I'm fine."

Otter: "Are you sure?"

Los: "Yes."

(Otter walks into another room and comes out with a few different board games)

Otter: "Well, we have 'Trouble', 'Life', and 'Battleship'. Which would you like to play?"

Los: "I think we should play 'Life'"

Otter: "OK, sounds like fun."

(NSP: I have to go to work now, so I can't type anymore..lol.oh well. :-))

[Krig the Viking]

Krig, Sem, Ante, Geb, and Maybe are the only ones in the Arena, the others having all either run for their lives or gone to eat at some fancy restaurant.

Krig:"Krig hungry. Krig think Krig go eat."

Sem, with evil smile:"Yessss, we shall eat."

Geb:"Hey, what's up with you, Sem?"

Sem:"Oh,nothing, nothing at all!"

Geb:"Oh. Ok."

They all trudge back over to the bar. They find that the bar has been all but decimated, the only thing left being two walls and a big puddle of alcoholic beverages.

Krig, with twitching eyes:"Somebody pay for this. Krig make them pay."

Geb:"Don't look at me, I'm broke!"

Sem:"Heeheehee..."

Krig:"What so funny?"

Sem, with evil grin:"Nothing, nothing at all!"

Maybe:"I'm hungry too. Lets all go get something to eat. I know a good restaurant!"

Everybody turns to leave the Arena. Just as they get outside, Geb turns around.

Geb:"Hey, where's Ante?"

Sem:"Don't look at me! I don't know! I didn't[/i] banish him to another dimension, I tell you!"

Geb:"Hmmm..."

Sem:"Look, just because I was the last one to see him doesn't mean that [b]I did anything!"

Geb:"Sounds logical. Let's go get something to eat."

The troupe leaves the arena, going to a local McDonalds. As they walk (single file to hide their numbers), Sem, in the back, cackles evilly.
* * *
Meanwhile, in another dimension...

Ante:"This is odd... everything is... strange..."

Ante the writer walks down the street.

Ante:"Egads! I'm in the writer's universe!"

Ante the writer:"Egads! That story I was helping to write has come to life! I really must stop drinking Vodka for breakfast!"

What could happen now? Will Semievil, controlled by Darkside, take out our beloved heroes one by one? Could this be the beginning of some type of horrible "Planet of the Horses"? In this announcers opinion, almost certainly yes!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Gebohq]

(NSP: If you all only knew what happened last time Darkside tried to posess someone's body, hehe. Well, I'm back *yay*, so lemme give the story another crack at it.)

*The director stomps up to the "cast" of the Neverending Story thread, waving his arms madly about, screaming incoherently until he reached close enough to them.*

Director: ...and look at this mess! You know how expensive it's gonna be to clean all this up? And how far behind schedule we'll be when we're done? You all should have known better than to look bored in teh arena, because that was Darkside's cue to burst from the ground. Do you even look at hte scripts?

Geb: Scripts? What's a script?

Krig: Krig think funny hat man needs a stiff drink.

Ante: Yeah, and a little something else too *moves his fist up and down*

Geb: *ignoring crude coment Ante made, as did everyone else* Somehow I think we were left out of the loop that Darkside was actually following a script. I mean...wel...well it's not our fault.

Director: *sigh* jsut get out of here for the night. It'll be fixed by teh morning.

Maybe: Yeha, but what then?

Director: *flips through his script, which looks noticably blank, then looks at htem and promptly shuts it* You all should know! I shouldn't have to waste my time making you rememorizing your parts?

Geb: *wispering to ANte* riiiiight

Director: So jsut get outta here. Go to the fair or something.

*The group then heads out to teh local carnival, meeting up with theOtter and Losien somewhere in between.*

*Insert serious romantic part between Otter and Losien in teh tunnel of love seen in almost all comedies.*

*The posessed Sem meanwhile goes into the funhouse with Geb and Maybe. Sem reaches the mirror room and hisses at his own images. Geb and Maybe give him strange looks, shrug, and go on.*

*Ante meanwhile takes a futile attempt to try and win at a rigged "throw teh balls at hte stacked bottles game*

(OK, someone else can elaborate more on the fair, and then I'll try and think of something to keep us going for another...er...say 3 pages? hehe)

[Losien]

(NSP: Please..please..please..forgive me for the last few posts..I didn't mean to go off like that..I really didn't. I'm really really sorry. )

[This message has been edited by Losien (edited August 17, 2000).]

[Krig the Viking]

Krig stood in the twisting maze of mirrors in the Fun House. Having gotten himself seperated from the others, Krig whined and cast his eyes about like a caged animal. All around him were twisted and warped copies of himself, some type of insane dopplegangers Krig thought. There was an extremely tall, skinny Krig, a one foot tall midget Krig, a fat Krig, a loopy, upside down Krig, and a tall, muscular Krig.

Krig glared at them, his left eye twitching furiously. Krig noticed that his doubles' eyes were twitching as well. Krig hunched down, backing away. His doubles, apparently frightened by this unexpected move, also backed away.

Dung-pile! Krig thought.I must get away! They have me surrounded!

Krig straightened up, gripped his axe tighter, and strode forward. In a surprise move, the dopplegangers closed in, tightening the circle! Krig spun, hoping to catch one off guard, but no matter how fast he turned, they always seemed to be staring right at him, ready for any move he made! Krig glanced around desperately, hoping to find a hole in their defences!

Alright, Krig made up his mind. The next one to step towards me gets it!

Krig, beckoning:"Come get Krig!"

Krig's resolved dropped as he noticed that each one of the twisted replicas was motioning him forward, in perfect unison. Krig clutched his war-axe tighter.

Just then, a small girl skipped in, followed by several huge monsters bearing a slight similarity to her, and moving in unison with her.

Krig:"LOOK OUT!"

Krig dove at the child, heroicly ignoring his attackers and smashing her out of harms way. Krig noticed that, as he saved the girl, his replicas lunged together at the little girl's replicas, knocking them to the ground.

Krig lept to his feet, the kid over his shoulder. He made a headlong dash to the outside, but the dopplegangers were unbelievably fast! Finally, Krig burst into the sunlight, throwing the child to safety. The dopplegangers stood at the doorway, as if restrained by an invisible sheild. Krig scrambled to his feet and walked away triumphantly, as his twisted likenesses dissapeared into the darkness of the Fun House of Horror.

Mwa ha ha ha haaa!! I shall take over the... I mean, tune in next time for more exciting action or whatever, on Never Ending Stoooooooooryyyyyyyyyyyy....

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Semievil333]

B. U. M. P.

(Benevolent Upward Mobility Post)

Come on guys! You can't be THAT out of ideas....... can you?

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Losien]

(NSP: Well, I'm out of ideas..and I'm taking a break...until I can think of something "funny" to write..so I don't ruin the story once again..lol)

[Gebohq]

(NSP: Whoops, soh-ree. I keep saying I'm gonna post to myself, then work comes along. Bleh. So I'm on it now, kinda...)

*Back at the fair, the fighters regroup at hte merry-go-round and decide to stick together, seeing how some, like Krig, have encountered evils in this place, and figured they'd survive longer if they were together. Feeling a wind of rightousness in him, Gebohq decides that the group should find the evil that is plagueing this fair and keep it from speading further.*

*(deep intake of breathe) So Gebohq, Antestarr, Otter, Losien, Maybechild, Semievil (still possessed), Krig, Ares (who jsut got there), Morris the Cat, and an army of Scots (deep release of breathe), journey into the darker realms of the fair(who did I forget now?). And they all walk right into Gebohq, similar to RPG games. Economy size pockets really help carry people when you need it http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif*

*They find themselves in an old janitor's shack, with only a TV showing static. While teh others were examining the room, tehOtter touched the screen of the TV, only to find his hand went right trough it! He told the others about it, and, deciding that the evil must lurk in there (the big signs pointing at the TV that said "Evil presence of hte fair, in here" helped too). Each of them climbed into the 20" TV, Morris having the most difficulty. An evil laughter eminated from nowhere as the last oen entered in.*

*In a predictable fashion, the fighters find themselves in a snow-bound wasteland, with a storm that reflected the static on the TV. The party stood dumbfounded as to what to do next, when Semievil's eyes rolled back, went into convusions, and flopped on to teh ground. The snow around him swirled into a human form, growing darker as it did. They recognized it as the Darkside.*

*The Darkside uncharacteristically whistled for someone, and before them they saw another figure walk up. The figure looked like a man with long black hair, tight black pants and boots, and a "wifebeater" (white T-shirt) under his black leather shirt. The person resembled your typical spouse abuser, terrorist bomber, or Marylin Manson. No, it wasn't Wolf. It was "they".*

"We're so glad you could join us, our friends," they began to say. They then began to randomly laugh maniaclly. They continued on.

"And we see the Darkside came along for teh ride too. Oh, how rude of us, we're not sure if we introduced ourself to your friends here. We are "they", and where as our dark friend here is the combined evils of all in hte fantasy world, I'm all the evils of teh "real world": TV, video games, big coorperations, "society", etc. etc. etc...."

"Man, another guy with too many voices in his head," Geb wispered to Maybe.

"Well, lets' continue with the fun, shall we?" they asked rhetorically. And with a snap of their fingers, the scenery changed. They found themselves on the Spice channel, and oddly enough, the movie being played was a comedy. Alligator strippers surrounded them amongst human ones, and they were inside a bar, with a contraption to the side to measure your "hooterage". All except Maybechild and Losien found tehmselves gaping with their mouths wide open.

"Oh yeah.." the guys said in unison. They began to go out and enjoy themselves. Maybechild and Losien stood there in disgust.

"Oh come on," "they" said. "Didn't you ever want to try being a lesbian?"

"NO!" the two of them said. Then Maybechild said to Losien "We must find a way to stop this evil, or at least change the channel."

Will Maybechild and Losien be able to stop this sexual temptation on the male fighters? er, *ahem* jsut remember girls, teh Spice channel is a Pay-per-view channel, and remember who's paying our bills...

(NSP: And remember, teh Arena has it's own Pay-per-view channel, so we can "return" to that anytime we want. Hope you liked the new things I've opened up here.)

[Semievil333]

Maybe the writer: "eough! God! someone gimme the remote!"
The writers are all circled around the TV, watching thier charachters with err..... mixed emotions.
Suddenly back in the story the strip club disappears and Los and the Otter are suddenly kissing in a secluded garden. The respective writers reel from this image and both attck the remote. Having changed the channel Los the writer downs a bottle of rubbing alcohol and Otter the writer beats himself over the head. The garden disappears and a talk-show like set appears, with Geb standing centerstage over Maybe who is lying on the floor in a well-corioghraphed siezure.
Geb: "Now all you non-belivers out there, BEHOLD the might and power of the LORD in the salvation of this poor child!"
Suddenly Ares transcends out of the story and walks in on the writers. He changes the channel and then crushes the remote in his hands as he re-enters the story.
TV: "The History Channel now returns to The Revolution-Lexington......"
Ares, sitting back from the battlefield, enjoying the spectacle: "I love this channel"
Geb, in the militia: "Did that announcer say Lexington? I think we loose this one. (to others) RUN AWAY!!!!!"
Sem, in the Brittish regular army: "Time to die militia men!"
Sem charges, even though everyone else is still waiting for the first shot to be fired.
Maybe: "eep! he's slipping! He thinks it's real!"
Los: "Not just that, he's gonna kill us! Somebody up there change the channel!"
All writers in unison, looking at the pile of remote control bits: "Fuq"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited August 24, 2000).]

[Losien]

(NSP: I wish I could think of something to post..or let alone..find more time to post something..I've been pretty busy working lately. School starts on Monday..yeah! LOL...and that means probably even less time..but I'm still thinking of something to post..trying to think of something funny..I need some kind of "magic potion" that will make whatever I write..sometime funny. Know where I can get some? Me either. Well..ok..I really liked the last 2 posts..nice way to set the direction of the story Geb. :-)

[Semievil333]

(NSP) Los, try just walking into a room, spinning around in circles until you fall down and then looking around. Then try to work whatever you see first into the story. That should get you started. It's also probably why I never post about anything breakable :P j/k..... but try it, if nothing else you'll feel better because that wierd feeling of being dizzy and lying down at the same time is fun ;-)

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Losien]

(NSP: Well..I'm afraid if I was to spin around in my room, for one..I would probably puke..and for two..well..if I was to "fall down" (like you said to do) I'd injure my knee even more..and then I'd probably be "crippled" for the rest of my life! LOL..plus..it might increase the jaw pain I'm feeling right now...and who knows what else would happen. :-) But..umm..how about..I walk into a room..and "slowly turn around"? It would be a lot safer..but would it still have the same effect? Hmm..lol. Well, for now..I don't feel like doing that...but I'll try it..tomorrow..(if my stomach feels up to it) I guess I'll let you know if it works! Thanks for trying to help me out..it's so nice to know that people care..LOL. Umm...yeah..so.."Tune in tomorrow for..umm..for the "results" of 'Trying to get me (Kim) to..post..and post better'" I should go!)

[Semievil333]

(nsp) 1/2 of it is getting dizzy, so make sure you turn around fast enough to loose some of your balance. For example, I am now looking at a red-eyed rubber model of an arctic hare. In a normal state of mind (laugh) I might pay it no heed. However if I were dizzy enough I might realize prehaps it was a spy from the evil bunny-aliens behind the deployment of the all-terrain multiplication table transports (rabbit walkers) that was sent to the post to raise an army of like-minded bunnies and kill Krig! Look at it overthere. Hunched over with that little smug nose and loose, floppy ears! There ought to be laws to protect storywriters from that kind of vermin rodent scum. Him and his companion volume to the Dead Sea Psalms Scroll make me sick!............ or something like that..... now I'm going to lie down because I'm about to fall over.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Semievil333]

As Sem charged, eyes wide with battle-fury, roaring at each and every moving thing he saw, he drew the mighty..... "Bent-Tipped Samuri Sword of Negativity".....

And suddenly the scene freezes and the camera angle sweeps 180degrees so that you can see Geb's holy paladin sword, the "Sword of the Extrordinary Whoop-*** " suspended directly above Sem. As the action unfolds the sword drives itself into Sem's back, knocking him to the ground, and mortally wounding him. In the same instant the first shot is fired and the negativity sword is knocked from Sem's hand. As it falls, "they" Swoop out of nowhere, grab it, and disappear with thier dark trophy, giggling in a sweet, childish innocent way, that could only mean one thing, they had spoken to Farr.......
Geb walked over to Sem's body, saying: "Fear not, brave friend, you shall not have been killed in vain!"
Sem retorted: "I'm not dead yet!"
And then Gebohq took up his sword, and
<Due to some violent content, this portion of the story has been revised>
Farr: "This is the only weapon which may be used against the "Bent-Tipped Samuri Sword of Negativity"......"
Geb: "I thought that whoopass sword did a pretty good job of killing Se...."
Farr, interrupting: "Shut up! I order you to be quiet! Now leave this place!"
Geb, exiting Farr's little hermit tent with the rubber duckie crest on top, Geb briefs the others on what he has just been told.
Maybe "we have to use the WHAT!?!?"
Geb: "We must somehow use the "Super-econo-sized Fruit Cocktail of Hope" to defeat "they"..... I know..... I had the same thought..... but it is the only weapon that can fight back against the "Bent-Tipped Samuri Sword of Negativity".... why, I dunno, it just is, and I wasn't gonna argue with Farr....

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

*Back at the Massassi Writer's office, the editor, long not seen, decides to catch up on what has happened in the past 2 pages.*

Editor: So they're all now stuck in TV land?

Otter: Well, actually, they're on teh History Channel right now--

Editor: Not that TV Land! Sheesh.

*The editor watches the previous post/scene, nodding his head*

Editor: Good job men... *looks at Maybechild teh writer, whose giving him a cold stare* er..and ladies. Say, I see we have a new writer!

Losien: Well, I'm not that new sir...

Editor: details details, do you have your own character?

Los: Well, yeah, but she isn't that great, jsut like me...

Editor: (to Geb) What kind of character is she?

Geb: She's what we call our "serious relief". We had to get one at some point, or else the funny parts wouldn't show nearly as much.

Editor: umm...right. Anywhos, I like the new bad guy too. "They"? Yeah, it's all creepy and such. Sure to win big ratings, seeing that he looks exactly like all those bad people in the movies, yet not bad looking enough to distress the mothers and get us sued. And hey, is anybody gonan change the channel anytime soon?

Ante: But-but there's no remote!

Editor: Your such a lazy @$$.

*The editor then gets up and changes the channel "manually" to PBS (public broadcasting system for those of you that don't know).*

[TheOtter]

*As the crew are being transported to the next channel they fuzz out of the historic battle and into PBS*

Maybe:"Uggh...where are we?"

PBS Narrator:"Hello, and welcome back viewers to our week-long devotion to the 'History of Glassblowing'."

Otter, Geb, Ante, & Maybe:" WOOHOO!"

PBS Narrator:"May I again remind you viewers that this has nothing to do w/ manufacturing smoking devices..."

Otter, Geb, Ante, & Maybe:"awwww.."

PBS Narrator:"...And now for punishment for having a dirty mind I will turn you all into Tote bags!"

Geb:"WOOHO-- (everyone else stares @ Geb) I mean 'BOO!'"



------------------
---------------
"...remember what the doormouse said, 'Feed your head! Feed your head!"
-Jefferson Airplane
"White Rabbit"

[Losien]

Losien: "(Yawns) Geez..Where am I?"

Geb: "Hey Sis..nice to see you're back."

Losien: "Yeah..(looks around confused) How long have I been away?"

Geb: "Well, not too long, but it seems like forever."

Losien: "Tell me about it."

Geb: "Well, it's only been about a week...but that seems like forever around here...I mean..with no one else around..and nothing interesting has happened in forever!"

Losien: (sighs) "Yeah, it feels good to be back. I guess, well, a lot has changed."

Geb: "So..anyways..now that you're back...I wanted to tell you a joke. Care to hear it?"

Losien: "Sure..why not?!"

Geb: "Ok, OK..so..2 guys walked into a bar, and the third guy ducked."

Losien: "Ducked like.."quacked"?

Geb: "What?"

Losien: "I don't understand it."

Geb: "Don't understand what?"

Losien: "Why he ducke...(feels stupid)...riiigght! LOL. Nevermind."

Geb: "Hmm..I'd say that writer's block has killed quite a few brain cells of yours."

Losien: (jokingly) "What's a brain cell?"

Geb: "Los, Los, Los...what am I going to do with you?"

Losien: "Hey..ok..I have a joke. What do you get when you cross a dog, a car, and a..umm..a bird?"

Geb: "I don't know, I give up!"

Los: "A flying carpet!"

Geb: "Oh..ha ha(sarcastically)"

Los: "No..look! A flying carpet!"

Geb: (turns around slowly and looks in the direction Los is pointing) "Wow..what are we waiting for?"

Los: "I don't know, let's go!"

(On the Flying Carpet)

Los: "Now what do we do?"

Geb: "I don't know..how does this thing work?"

Los: "Don't look at me! How should I know?!"

Geb: "Maybe it has some directions or something on the bottom. Let's see."

(Geb and Los lift up the carpet, and look on the bottom and see a picture of Barney.)

Geb: "Woah..what's with the Barney picture?"

Los: "I don't know. Hey, look at the small fine print...(reading fine print) In order to ride on the flying carpet, all passengers must continually sing the Barney theme song.."I Love You"

Geb: "What? That's insane! That's crazy. Don't expect to see me on that carpet. I'm not going to make myself look like an idiot!"

Los: "Come on Geb! It'll be fun."

Geb: "Well, maybe just for a little while...since no one else is around, but the minute I see someone..I'm off!"

Los: "Yeah, yeah yeah..whatever. (laughs) Come on!"

(Geb reluctantly gets on the flying carpet)

Geb: "This is embarrassing to say, but I actually know this song."

Los: "Yeah..me too."

Geb: "So, you lead it off."

Los: "(sighs) Fine."

Geb: "OK."

Los: "I love you..(Geb joins in and the carpet begins to rise)

Geb and Los: "We're a happy family..with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you..won't..."

(Interrupted by the sound of an opening door)

Geb: " (Geb stops singing) No!"

Los: "..you say you love meeeee...ahhh!"

(Geb and Los slowly make their way to the ground)

Los: "Oww. Geb! Why'd you stop singing?"

Geb: "Someone opened the door.."

(Geb and Los look realizing it was blown open by the wind)

Los: "(sigh) Well, we were going for a little while. It was ok."

Geb: "Yeah. Sorry..(laughs)"

Los: "So, why don't we go to Toys 'R' Us or something..so we don't have to feel like we're growing up. How about Peter Pan Land?"

Geb: "Umm..sure...just, hold on."

(I have no idea what to write right now. I just really hope the writer's block thing isnt' coming back. Sorry I haven't posted in so long! Hope you all forgive me!)

[Gebohq]

PBS narrator: And where do you think you're going, Mister?

Los: (finding out she was put on hold) Here, tell me when they get back (gives phone to PBS guy)

PBS narrator: uhh...o-k...

*As Geb and Los try to sneak away, however, the PBS narrator catches onto the trap he was put in, and turns to teh two of them*

PBS: You have made me most unhappy! I shall destroy you now!

Los: Why are all these guys agaisnt us?

Geb: Because if they weren't, Barney would be.

*Losien shudders at the idea. The PBS narrator catches upt o them and traps them in a corner.*

PBS narrator: *in Darth Vader style*I have you now...

*But just in teh nick of time teh neverendign story thread's narrator steps in!*

Step back, you fiend! For I am teh NARRATOR!

*And there was much rejoicing*

PBS narraotr: NEVER!

*The audience sees Gebohq and Losien looking at them, were we assume the narrator always stand. The audience could then hear a street fight starting between the two, and Geb and Los decide to head off while they can.*

*Meanwhile, in teh search for the Holy Remote (which they hope will let them out of the TV), teh Otter searches in Mr Roger's Neighborhood.*

Otter: Hmm...maybe it's in here....

*As the Otter looks into teh train tunnel, the toy train drives by, and collides with theOtter's head. In a cartoon fashion, teh train squishes tehOtter into the hole, to a very foreign land.*

*While Maybechild, Krig, and the others search in the land of Reading Rainbow, Antestarr and Morris the Cat find themselves in teh scarriest place of all: Barney's playground...bee-dee-bee-dee, bee-dee-bee-dee...*

Will Antestarr and Krig face *pow!* danger? Will Maybechild and-*wham!* gang up their experience levels...in reading? What will *whiff!* tehOtter encounter, and where will Gebohq and Losien turn up? And will anybody help me fight this guy? Tune in to teh Neverending Story Thread! *pow!*

[Krig the Viking]

Krig the Viking and Maybechild trek through Reading Rainbow land.

Maybe:"Didn't this show get canceled a long time ago?"

Krig:"Reruns. Ugh."

Just then, the entire scene changed, and they were in a giant McDonalds.

Maybe:"Oh, no, the bane of all television... the McDonald's Commercial!"

Krig:"Krig think this work of "they"."

The scene starts rapidly flashing, to a giant burger, to the golden arches, to the Backstreet Boys, to the golden arches, to the Olympics, to the golden arches, to the...

Krig:"Krig head hurt. Krig not like. Krig getting angry."

Will Krig get angry? *whack* What will happen to the others? Will they... hey, you, come back here! *whack crunch bam smash pause-180-sweep-unpause thud thud thud thud BOOM!* And the Narrator reigns supreme! Tune in next time to see what he does with the PBS narrator's bloody carcass!

------------------
Oft evil will does evil mar.
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Semievil333]

B.U.M.P.!
(Benevolent Upward Mobility Post)!
it fell off the last 5 days list =_(

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Highemperor of the Force]

Highemperor is watching TV in his living room when he sees everyone trapped inside! He flips frantically through the channels, hoping to find the Holy Remote which will free them.

Suddenly he finds the Holy Remote. He shouts at the TV: "The Holy Remote is in HBO... and 'Star Wars: A New Hope' is playing!

**************

Suddenly, in TV land, Gehboq and the others hear a rumbling noise like thunder.

Krig: Is that... is that... you know... God?

Voice: The Holy Remote is on HBO, and "Star Wars: A New Hope" is playing.........

Gebohq: Nah, that's just some buffoon watching the TV who's trying to help us.

Voice: I am NOT a buffoon....

The people trek through TV World to HBO...

------------------
The metaphysical nature of this energy field commonly known as "the Force" is such that it is galactically pervasive, but the potential of becoming omnipervasive, or even modopotent.

[Krig the Viking]

Krig and the other, more insignifigant people look around. They were all in a high tech, futuristic looking hallway.

Maybe:"Well, this is either the Death Star or the Millenium Falcon."

Geb:"You cannot tell the difference! You are not worthy to be called a Star Wars fan!!"

Maybe:"I do too know the difference! It's just that this particular hallway was never shown in the movie!"

Geb:"Oh, come on, can't you tell by the type of architecture?"

Losien:"I'm just wondering how we got here..."

Suddenly, the entire hallway shook, and sparks flew from the walls.

Sem:"Hahahaha!! Carnage! I live for carnage!! ... I mean, crap! What was that?"

Krig looks around the corner and sees Luke
Skywalker dissapearing into a tube-way, that leads to the guns.

Geb peeks around the corner for two seconds, and turns to the others.

Geb:"I know exactly where we are in the movie, down to the microsecond. Now, we have to be careful. We don't want to mess up the greatest movie of all time."

Krig:"Huh?"

Geb:"What we do may have serious repercussions on the outcome of the movie! Nobody say anything to anybody, especially the stars!...hey, where's Sem?"

Sem:"Hey, Luke, guess what? Leia's your sister!"

Geb:"Oh, crap."

Will The Crew ever find the Remote? Will they totally destroy the icon that is Star Wars? Or will they not? Only you can decide!

------------------
Oft evil will does evil mar.
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[Highemperor of the Force]

Luke skids to a halt. "What? Who are you?"

Sem: I am Semievil, of course.

Luke: I can tell THAT from your obviously Everquestian body.

Leia: Luke, come on! Hey, who is this? He looks like he's been trampled by Wookiees twenty times too much!

Luke: He says I'm your sister.

Leia: Ha, ha! That's ridiculous. I'm an Alderaanian princess! You're just a lowly, wet-behind-the-ear, Tatooinian farmboy!

Luke: (growing beet red) Hey! I'm just as good as you, Princess! I'M the one that old Ben said the Force will always be with! Take that!

Han: Hey, what's up, you two? We've been waiting by the Falcon for ten minutes for y'all!

Luke: I'm her sister.

Leia: You are not!

Luke: I am too!

Leia: Are not!

Luke: Are too!

Artoo: Beep-de-bleep deep-deep!

Threepio: He says, "You called?"

Luke: No!

Sem leaves, chuckling sadistically as the would-be heroes start hopelessly arguing.

Gebohq: Sem! How could you DO that?

Sem shrugs carelessly. They suddenly hear Han, Luke, and Leia being shot to death by stormtroopers.

Krig: Drat! Now what?

------------------
The metaphysical nature of this energy field commonly known as "the Force" is such that it is galactically pervasive, but the potential of becoming omnipervasive, or even modopotent.

[Semievil333]

Geb: "Well now we have to take thier places..." <sigh> "Maybe, you be de princess, Sem, you be Luke, Krig, your the fuzzball, I'll be Han, and Otter and Ante can have thier pick... 3PO or R2"
Otter: "R2"
Ante: "Damn!"
Sem http://forums.massassi.net/html/frown.gifbegining to run off, detpacks and stachel charges hanging off his shoulders) "Whohoo! I get to blow this place up!"
Maybe: (pulling him off his feet and halting his suicide demo-attack) "Not yet ya carp!"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

(NSP: Sorry, I haven't been around lately. Schoo-el, and all. And man, why didn't I ever thikn of this! Stcik with NeS's roots, Star Wars!)

Sem: Aww man, can we at least go down teh trash compator?

Maybechild: No.

Sem: Man, why not?

Maybe: Because we already went through that--I mean, "we" did.

Sem: *in whiny Luke voice* But I wanna! I wanna I wanna I wanna I--

Geb: FINE! Just shut up already, kid.

Ante: Urgh..--

Geb: *ahem* *nudges Ante*

Ante: *rolls his eyes* Oh - my. Not the deadful trash -compator...

Geb: That's it, golden boy. Now lets get a move on before ol' Darth Vader shows--

*Enter heavy mechenical breathing, follows by imposing presence of Darth Vader and his flowing cape. Vader then points a finger at Sem.*

Vader: *boo-chhh* YOU!

Sem: Eep!

Otter: Bee-dee-blip.

Ante: I agree Ott--R2. Let's RUN!

*wipes sweat from his forehead* Whew, that PBS guy sure put up a fight...anywhos, tune in next time for our continuation of our SPECIAL special edition of Star Wars: A New Hope, with never EVER before scenes!

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited September 22, 2000).]

[Dath the story teller]

then a conc shot comes out of no were and kills everone!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... YOU LOSE!!!!

(Geb's note: Ah, one-post thread killers, how they try...)

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited June 23, 2003).]

[Semievil333]

I don't like that ending-I know I'm trying not to reach too much into tribes/eq, but here I just can't let it happen!!!!!

Sem casts the spell "mesmerize" on Dath the story teller, and stepping up behind him locks his arm around Dath the story teller's neck, snapping finger bones into the apropriate joints and creating a vice-like choker hold.

Using the other arm, Sem dons his beloved jet-pack, leaps 20 feet skywards, and begins to hover. As Dath the story teller slowly comes around he finds himself dangling above the very jaws of death, that's right, about to be swallowed whole by Morris!!!

(note to all: ignore this, I just don't like punks who want to end this kind of thread in 1 3-4 line post)

Dath the story teller drops to his doom......


------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[TheOtter]

B.U.M.P.!
Yet another Benevolent Upward Mobility Post!

------------------
---------------
"...remember what the doormouse said, 'Feed your head! Feed your head!"
-Jefferson Airplane
"White Rabbit"

[Gebohq]

Vader: Destroy those fools, immediately.

Nearest Stormtrooper: Um, sir, we lost them. *immediately covers face in hopes of protecting himself with his hands*

Vader: WHAT?!?!?!

Stormtrooper: Sorry sir! I'll never say another thing, ever again--no, please, don't-no--AHHHHH--mmmh-mhm-hm-h-hm-mmm...

vader: *backing away with duct tape in hand* Muuuch better. Now since I seem to only have a fleet of EEEE-DEEE-OTS on my ship, I'll have to find them my-ee-self!

*Swings cape dramatically as he uses the dark side to find the heroes. No, not the force...no, not old man Darkside, that's right, where the sun don't shine. In other words folks, he's thinking with his balls and heading for teh topless bar, where our hapless heroes happen to be, thanks to R2's alcohol addiction.*

Da-da-duuuuuuum! A cliffhanger to leave you all hanging off the edge of your seats! Gotta love 'em

[Semievil333]

English accented, pithy, military official looking induvidual: "It has been called to my attention that this story has begun to display an alarming tendency to become silly. Now, no one enjoys a good laugh more than I do.... except prehaps my wife.... and a few of her friends.... I take it back, just about everyone ejoys a good laugh more than I do, but I am serving notice that there is to be no more sillyness. Any further scenes with instances of sillyness will be cut immediately, and we will go to the next scene." <scene starts to shift> "No, no, no! I didn't say cut yet!" <scene comes back and slowly starts to shift again> "Wait for it...." <scene goes back> "Cut!"
The next scene opens to reveal our heroes.......

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Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Dark Lancer]

A blind old man with a walking stick wanders in, crashes into walls, doors, and various other paraphernalia strewn about the Neverending Story, and finds Gebohq.

"Smellyfishhead!" he cries hoarsely. "Ubishmal abava**** Fvir Mishmein'Leem! Etcum batara ve szad mookay!"

"Um, what?" Gebohq asks quizzily.

[Sorry,] the author's voice comes down out of the sky. [I accidentally wrote his language in Old Jikeemian. Here's the English translation.]

"Geebohq!" the old man cries hoarsely. "Ey am de Dark Lancer! I shallenge you to ay doo-el!"

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An optimist is someone who stomps on the floor and calls it tap dancing.

[Gebohq]

Geb: Uh-oh, another duel. Better thikn of something quick. Er.... *to Dark Lancer* Hey man, I gotta tell you, duels aren't in my contract anymore. Yeah, you gotta talk to, um...Semievil over there

*Semievil only having caught on to the words "duel" and his own name, sits up from his current drunken stupor and staggers his way over to the old man/Dark Lancer.*

Sem: I can take ya on ol' man.

Geb: Why does this sem all too familiar? Oh well.. *attempts to sneak away*

*Meanwhile, Darth Vader stepped into the bar where our heroes are currently at. Vader takes a step towards where he sees the majority of our heroes, decides that they can wait and uses the Force to gravitate a beer towards him. Grabbing a straw, he sips teh beer through his mask and uses the Force to change the channels on the TV.*

Vader: The Force is a powerful ally indeed...

Will Darth Vader get off his lazy *** and finish our heroes off? Will the newcomer *yay, a newcomer* Dark Lancer, prove himself a worthy advesary against the cowardly Gebohq and his friends? Will the "drunk dueling a sober guy" scene plague this story again? Find out int eh next post!

[Dark Lancer]

Dark Lancer strikes Gebohq on the leg as he attempts to get out.

"Geebohq! Eescape you vill not!"

"Dang!"

Vader jumps into the fray. "Hul-par... hul-par... hul-par..."

Dark Lancer smashes Vader's helmet in with his stick. "Zere, finally rid of zat obnoxious breathing."

"Why you blind old fool!" Vader yells.

"Who is ze more foolish, ze fool or ze fool who follows ze fool?"

"And stop quoting Obi-wan!"

Vader draws his lightsaber and swings at Dark Lancer.

Dark Lancer nimbly dodges, and says, "Hmm. I vonder vhat veapon I should use. My lightscimitar? No. My lightwheep[whip]? No. My Grade 10 durasteel-alloy long-range hyper-detonation bazooka launcher? No. Ah! I have eet. I shall use... my steeck!"

Dark Lancer swings his stick so hard that Vader's head is cut off.

"Haha, ze Headless Horseless Man you are now, hmm?"

Vader scoops up his head and walks out sullenly...

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An optimist is someone who stomps on the floor and calls it tap dancing.

[Semievil333]

Sem puts down his drink just long enough to connect what he's seeing to the everquest player directory....

/who all Dark Lancer

Dark Lancer: level 60 zelot <writers of the story> zone: CharacterBarC

Armed with this new information, Sem decides that a strategic advance to the door is prudent. Dark Lancer seeing this attempted escape lunges for Sem with his steeck, and crashes heavily into the abruptly closed door. Seeing the door in the "closed" position, Dark ponders the situation, and considers his options. Opting for the violent and reckless option, Dark smashes the door into little itsie bitsie pieces. As he steps though the door, Sem leaps down from above, Duct-taping his arms firmly to his sides. Finding himself inadequate for the pourpose of removing Sem's specially designed Duct-tape, Dark runs after Sem, a whirling mass of kicks and head-bashes, his steek strapped helplessly to his back, even it being unable to break the bonds of Sem's allmighty Duct-tape. Sem, however, seeing that he has failed to entirely disable Dark, bolts off, barely managing to keep out of range of Dark's wildly swinging feet....

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Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Dark Lancer]

Dark Lancer cries, "Semievil, you vill be semi-DEAD by ze time ey am done vith you!" He takes out his lightwhip and cuts himself loose.

Then he gives Semievil thirty lashes. "Ahahahaha-hahahaha! Ey am ze man!"

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An optimist is someone who stomps on the floor and calls it tap dancing.

[Semievil333]

Sem, picking up a shred of duct-tape, looks forlornly at it. Turning to Dark, he sets his shoulders squarely and reels up to his full hieght <4 times since page 3!> Then, SHAZZAM!!! Out of the black night, with a horrible vengance comes Ursus Major!!! In his great teeth is clamped Sem's Dog-jaw shaman weapon, ripped from the very bones of the great uber-dog Trixie. Obtaining his great, and powerful weapon thus, Sem flies into a passionate berzerker frenzy, begining with a roar that levels not only all nearby structures, but also the terrain for 10 miles around. Thus having deprived his foe of cover, he lunges forward and liquifies Dark with a single, mighty blow. Sem then picks up a glob of dark and heaves it 12 miles away to the nearest medical facility.
Dark, waking up after 15 months in a coma, but thanks to the wonders of reconstructive surgury, not much the worse for wear: "Mental note: When removing Duct-Tape, excercise great caution so as not to damage it."
He slips back into unconsiousness for a few hours.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[MaybeChild]

Materializing out of wherever she disappeared to, Maybe walks up to Sem and grasps his hand.
Maybe: Sweet... Pure mastery of the whole Mighty Marvo bit, man.
Sem: what mighty marvo bit? that was all me, dood.
MC: riiiight.... Well, at any rate, I'm back, and I'm a better spellsinger this time!
Sem: Does this mean it actually WORKS when you try to cast?

Maybe baps Sem for the snyde comment....

------------------
"See me, feel me, touch me, heal me" ~ The Who's "Tommy"

[TheOtter]

Old Man:"I FEEL--HAPPY!"

*BONK!*

------------------
---------------
"...remember what the doormouse said, 'Feed your head! Feed your head!"
-Jefferson Airplane
"White Rabbit"

[Semievil333]

Sem rubs his head and looks at the old man quizically.
Then Sem examines his newly created plain.
Then Sem looks at the cute, small, furry creature which has taken hold of his manipulative appendage.
Finding that the adrenaline in his system has rendered him incapable of moving forward in thought, Sem simply sits down and rocks back and forth.

Suddenly, accross the blast center from him, and opponent appears. It is the great Otter!(tm)(c).
Otter: "Weapon?"
Sem: "Maces, no shields"
Otter: "Ready?"
Sem, glancing at his restricted rightmost appendage: "Wait! No fair. We fight left handed!"
Otter: "No prob, I'm ambidextrous"
Sem: "You wet rat!"
Otter: "Begin!"
Sem, seeing himself to have severely limited options weilds the mace underhanded in his left hand, flipping it up to block Otter's attacks. Noticing his severe disadvantage, Sem lifts Maybe off the ground and carries her around in his right arm for the remaining duration of the fight. Disarming his foe(smashing the Otter's mace into bits with a headbash) he places Maybe on the ground and sits an arm length away, looking concernedly at his trapped arm.

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Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[MaybeChild]

Finally letting go of Sem's hand (and somewhat miffed at being considered "furry"), Maybe slings her duar around and starts strumming a few bars of "In a Rainbow" by Sweetwater.
Sem: AAAH!!! Where'd the colors come from???
Maybe: Hey, at least it's a harmless song. Would you rather I played "The Thing That Should Not Be"?
Sem: *ponders* ...no......
Maybe: Well then.
Maybe changes key and starts playing "Eleanor Rigby". After the line "ah, look at all the lonely people," Sem looks at her in distress.
Sem: Uh, Maybe, do you feel that?
Maybe: feel what?
Sem: The ground!

They look up to see Otter, Geb, and various others running ahead of a vast mob (a la the running of the bulls). The mob is comprised entirely of people without friends.

Maybe: $h!t!!!

------------------
"See me, feel me, touch me, heal me" ~ The Who's "Tommy"

[Gebohq]

Geb: I always wanted to be liked by teh public, but not like this!

Ante: Yeah, there isn't one good looking chick in the crowd anyways.

Los: Oh boy! Friends I can relate with!

*enter Dark Lancer, who appears very revived.*

DL: Note to self: avoid duct tape at the receieving end...now, let's look at my list here. Ah, add Se..mi..e..vil.. to my list of "people to eliminate" there. Now time to do what I came here for...

*Dark Lancer yanks Gebohq from the screaming mob after him and his friends into a hiding place*

Geb: Thanks man I really--oh, guess I was too quick to speak, eh?

DL: Its all for fun now.

*Gebohq and Dark Lancer duel in teh dark shadows. The mob of lonely people continue to head for the other fighters.*

Sem: Quick! We need to build something.

Maybe: Seriously, you made this wasteland ratehr dull, seeing how its been cleared for 10 miles 'round and all.

Sem: I know what to build. Hurry, I'll need a lot of christmas lights and the duct tape.

*In a fast-foreward action, the fighters build out of duct tape, lights, and other assorted parts a singles bar. The mob immediately hurries into it.*

Maybe: *phew* that was close

Otter: Hey, a new bar! Who's up for a drink?

Sem: Oh not so fast there, I'm still gonna duel you.

Krig: What's the big shiny ball in the sky?

Otter: That would be the Death Star

Sem: I knew we forgot something...oh look, the Rebel base in the Massassi Temple is right past our arena.

*The fighters stand in a lack of action. A ghostly image of obi-won kenobi stands besides them*

Obi-won: The laziness is strong with these fighters...

[Gebohq]

*B.U.M.P.!*

*The fighters start to show concern as they wonder what just happened.*

*B.U.M.P.!*

*They feel the ground shake beneath them with each disturbing er...disturbance.*

Geb: Um, do I want to know what's making that noise?

Sem: No. Never. I pray you never find out.

*B.U.M.P.!*
*B.U.M.P.!*

Ante: I think this would be a good time to head for the Massassi Temple now...

Sem: Quick, everyone in the landspeeder!

Geb: (having been in it long before Sem said anything) Faster faster faster-faster.

*Everyone is in the landspeeder now except for R2/theOtter, who treads along EXTREMELY slowly, just like R2.*

*From behind the corner of the new singles bar, a towering T-Rex roars at the sitting victims in the landspeeder.*

Sem: I'm ditchin' him.

*Sem puts the petal to the metal as Gebohq yells "sorry!' to the Otter, who is now in the reach of the T-Rex.*

Otter: This could be bad...

Maybe: *in the landspeeder* Why didn't we just fight the thing?

*The others looked at her momentarily, then laughed their heads off. Their laughing abruptly ceases as they find a second T-Rex running after them*

Geb: Oh great, his wife tagged along for the kill. How uplifting.

What will happen to our cowardly heroes in the landspeeder? What will theOtter's fate be? What will happen to all those poor people in the singles bar? Oh yeah, and that other little problem with the Death Star blowing up the planet also. Details details...

[Krig the Viking]

(The Viking Returns!)

Krig/Chewie:"Graaarghh rowwrg?"

Geb/Han:"Uh, I'm pretty sure we're at the part where the Death Star is about to blow up Yavin 4 moon, Kr--Chewie."

*A bunch of x and y-wings take off from the Massassi Temple*

Geb/Han:"Yep. And since Luke--Sem--isn't in his x-wing, we have no hope of surviving at all."

Sem/Luke:"We have even less chance if you don't keep driving!"

Geb/Han:"Oh, oops."

*Geb floors the landspeeder and the female T-Rex chomps the ground where they had just been."

Sem/Luke:"Whew, that was close."

Ante/Threepio:"Hey, where the h--I mean--oh my, where did Artoo go? I can't see the little-- I mean-- him!"

Otter/Artoo, inside T-Rex's stomach:"Uh... beep beep beep."

Geb:"No time for that now, Goldenrod! We gotta get to the Massassi Temple so we can get Sem into his X-Wing and blow up the Death Star before we all die!"

Krig, pointing ahead:"Mroorahrg!"

Geb:"What tree?"

*crunch*

Did our erstwhile heroes survive this horrible crash? Can they get to the Massassi Temple in time to save the plot and their lives? How exactly did they get to Yavin 4 in the first place? And how did two T-Rexes get to Yavin 4? All these questions and more in the next Never Ending Story

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited October 13, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

(NSP: At some point, Sem had written that they had transported from teh death star to a different place (he says he infered it anyways...I'm still looking for it http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif hehe), and since Yavin 4 was the closest thing I could thikn of, that's why I decided they should be there. AS for teh T-rex's: it is a well known fact *audience: *coughBScoughBScoughBS!* that they court in singles bars, and naturally feel comfortable in them. They will um...cross plot holes even to get to one. Yeah...oh, and sorry for not putting another story post here, I just can't think exactly where to go right now. Oh, I just realized Krig joined back. YAH! Oh, so you know, SoD still really hasn't progressed, but Antestarr says he's trying to finish it up by this week, so I should have the rest up by next week. And I'm trying to leave post 400 for Antestarr too, so ya know. and yay some more, Krig's back!)

[Gebohq]

*Meanwhile, at the Massassi writer's office...*

Geb: So what should happen next?

Sem: I dunno

Ante: Isn't that why we had them on teh TV? So we didn't have to write what happened to them? We'd just simply flip the channel if things got boring?

Geb: Yeah, well it'd help if we had the remote. It's int eh TV program now, and if they find it, we'll have to start writing up things for them to do again.

Maybe: Why don't we just turn the channels manually?

*Everyone gives her a blank and confused expression.*

Maybe: *sigh* nevermind...

Ante: I still don't get why you asked "what should we write next?" if we don't even write for it.

Geb: Because we really DO write for it, its just in our own writings, we say we don't.

Ante: This is one of those annoying Star Trek paradoxes, isn't it?

Krig: Krig's head hurts.

Geb: Yeah, well my point is if we don't "write" something, thigns will get ratehr slow again.

Sem: How about we just roll that short film of monkeys reinacting the Civil War?

Geb: ....sounds good to me.

*Audience starts to see the Civil War staged before them. Meanwhile, back on Yavin 4...*

Geb: I feel that the audience isn't watching us anymore.

Sem: Yeah, and all the better too.

*The fighters find themselves down to their boxers and underwear as they had tried to "lighten the load" of their landspeeder to keep the T-Rex from catching up. Unfortunately, its right in front of them.*

[Krig the Viking]

Everyone in speeder:"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

*Geb slams on the brakes. Everyone whips forward and whacks their heads on the dashboard or the seat in front of them.*

Krig/Chewie:"Mrrrowrggh!*

Geb/Han:"Uh, I don't think asking him not to eat us will help..."

*The T-Rex rears back to chomp on the speeder, then suddenly stops."

T-Rex:"Rooooooooaaaaaaaaarrrrrrghh!!"

*The T-Rex shakes violently, then procedes to puke on the landspeeder and everyone in it.*

Everyone in speeder:"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!"

Otter/R2, covered in barf:"Hey, guys! I guess I didn't agree with him..."

Krig/Chewie:"Murrrgh"

Geb/Han:"Krig--er, Chewie says that you smell."

Otter/R2:"We ALL smell! We're covered in Rex puke!"

Sem/Luke:"Perhaps we should get away from here while the T-Rex is still sick..."

Geb/Han:"Yeah, come on, let's get outta here!"

*The Crew sits there in the landspeeder while the T-Rex stops retching and gets up off the ground.*

Maybe:"Uhhh, Geb, you're driving."

Geb:"Oh, Sithspit, right!"

*Geb floors the speeder and they all take off towards the Massassi Temple. The T-Rex ignores them and heads back to the single's bar, hoping to get a tastier meal.*

Will our intrepid heroes make it to the Temple in time to get Sem into an X-Wing so he can destroy the Death Star in time to save Yavin 4? If you don't know, then I'm not telling you! Haha!

------------------
Oft evil will does evil mar.

[Dark Lancer]

Back in the singles bar, Dark Lancer is watching monkeys reenact the Civil War on the holovision. Bored, the blind old man stands up, bumps into the sick T-rex, causing him to get thrown up on, and stumbles outside.

Right in front of him, a landspeeder full of people stripped down to their underwear pulls up.

Krig/Chewie: Dagnabbit! I mean - mrroagh!

Sem/Luke: What did he say? I mean, besides "dagnabbit".

Geb/Han: He said that we've been traveling in circles.

Maybe: No, duh.

Otter/R2: Beep-de-beep beep bleep BEEP!

Dark Lancer climbs into the landspeeder, thinking it is a taxi. "To ze Mazzazzi Temple!" he cries.

Geb/Han: No questions asked, huh?

Dark Lancer/Ben: Let's just zay Ey'd like to avoid any... Eemperial entanglements.

Geb/Han: That's gonna cost ya something extra, old fool. Ten thousand, all in advance.

Dark Lancer/Ben: Who is ze more foolish, ze fool or ze fool zat follows ze fool? Two thousand now, fifteen when we reach Alderaan - Blast eet, not Alderaan, ze Mazzazzi Temple; I am ze last Jedi Master in ze galaxy, yet my staff cannot give me ze right bloody screept!

Maybe: What's that smell?

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An optimist is someone who stomps on the floor and calls it tap dancing.

[Semievil333]

Storm-trooper on deathstar: "Man, this lazer is taking a rediculously long time to fire."
Emperor: "<zzzz>huh?"
Storm-trooper: "<zzzz>
Emperor: "oh. <zzzz>"
Dart Wader: "Whad couwd powwibly be wong wid dis waser-bweam? Id ouwd do hawe fiwewed by now. Owe, hewe is de pwobwem"
Wader dislodges a polmegranite from the opening labeled "Waser Fiwewing Mwechanwisim", and tries to fire the laser again, aiming for the Temple.
Meanwhile, down on de pwanet, Geb is driving the speeder at break-neck speed through the forest, and runs smack into a convieniently placed mirror. The mirror shatters, and a small shard flies through the forest and comes to rest on the top of the massasi temple, just as the laser hits, sending it ricocheting back towards the deathstar, destroying it's "weapwons wechanwisims"

Back on the planet, a bad-luck imp suddenly appears.
Bad-luck imp, to Geb: "I curse you, with seven years of bad luck!"
Geb: "I wasn't driving!"<grabbing Krig>"It was him!"
Bad luck imp: "My bad. Ok, Chewie, I place a curse of seven years bad luck on you!"
The imp leaves
Geb, looking around to see everyone staring at him but Krig, who just had an unfortunate incident with a pinecone: "What!?!?!?"

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Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

NSP: All I have to say is I don't think the DMV is gonna let me keep my driver's lisense after reading this...

[Krig the Viking]

*Back wherever we left the real cast of Star Wars*

Real Chewie:"Mrrrg"
Real Han:"What do you mean you don't feel so lucky anymore?"

*Down on Yavin 4*

Krig/Chewie:*swallows pine cone*"Krig drive now? Murrgh!"

*Krig grabs the wheel and, before anyone can do anything about it, floors the speeder.*

Geb/Han:"What have I done??"

*Krig pulls up in front of the Massassi Temple without putting a scratch on the speeder.

Krig/Chewie:"Krig get driving training with Ares's Viper--er--Murrghrflg."

Maybe/Leia:"Quick, Sem-er-Luke, get in there and get in your x-wing!"

What will befall our intrepid heroes? Will they defeat the Bad Guys and go on to ESB? Or will they be stuck in ANH for ever? Stick around and find out!

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Oft evil will does evil mar.