The Never-ending Story Thread

[Gebohq]

Welcome to the Never-ending Story Thread, known better as NeS, an epic comedy with a lost beginning and infinite pages!

To read the webcomic version of NeS:

http://nes.sorrowind.net

To skip to page 51, known also as "The Never-ending Story Thread²" (NeSquared):

http://forums.massassi.net/vb3/showthread.php?t=18372

And now, the story...

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(copy of "The neverending Story Thread")Ares
Member posted August 14, 1999 01:17 AM
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(Copied from the 4th page of "Nostradamos... SCARY stuff here" thread, so anyone thats not up to date can read the last 2 posts...)
Gebohq
Member posted August 14, 1999 12:23 AM
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Gebohq: "Ares, would you like to have a doughnut?"
Ares: "I have no time for your foolishness...damnit, now you made me hungry. I'll be back shortly."

As Ares flies away temporarily, Gebohq trys to ignore the throbbing in his head as he thinks "Ares stumbled when I threw out all those saber slashes, maybe..."

*Ares then flies back, prepared to face him again. Gebohq uses the Force to speed towards Ares and slash him like before. Again Ares stumbles backwards, but not as far as before because he was prepared for it.*

Gebohq thinks "Yes, I think I know his weakness now."

*Drawing his anger at the futility of this fight, he uses the Dark side of the Force to summon several of the rocks surrounding Ares and launches them towards Ares. Ares stumbles greatly and trips, falling on his back. Ares appears to just be lying there, so Gebohq walks up closer to Ares. Is Ares finally defeated?*

To Be Continued.....(Ares, you turn)

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~Gebohq

Galvatron
Member posted August 14, 1999 12:32 AM
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*Camera Pans to Galvatron*
Galv: I'm a little Application short and stout, here is my input and here is my out...
*Ares and Gebohq just give him a werid look and then countinue fighitng*
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TBC
Sorry guys just thought it was funny

(Were i actually start writing)

Ares: "NOW IM INFURIATED!" Ares starts firing force destruction and lightning from his palms, insanely.Gebohq dives for cover, behind a rock. he says to himself: "All i did was annoy him!"He despiratly attempts to come up with a plan. But it sounds like a warzone around him, and it was hard to concentrate. Ares must of growen bored of this now, because he was standing waiting for Geb.

Geb charged at him and got caught in Ares's force grip. Ares lifted him, to eye to eye level.

Ares: "This ends now little man."

(Will this be the end of Gebohq? Will anyone EVER find out Ares weakness? Will someone help Geb? Stay tuned for this and all your other questions to be answered!)

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Galvatron
Member posted August 14, 1999 01:30 AM
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*Camera goes to Galv*
*Systems Retruning to normal. All Weapons Funtonal.*
Galv: All right lets ROCK!
*Superman theame starts to play*
Ares: Oh no you don't!
*Ares Blasts Galvatron Right into the wall*
*System damage... Power low.. Systems shuting down..*
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tbc
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Gebohq
Member posted August 14, 1999 01:59 AM
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In the moment that Ares took to divert his attention to Galvatron, Gebohq manages to escape his grip and runs like hell away from Ares. With only 2 health left, Gebohq quickly heals himself with the Force.
Ares: "Damn, come back here Gebohq. You have to meet your destiny."

Gebohq thinks that he doesn't want whatever destiny Ares wants him to have. Gebohq then turns into a rock and stealthly walks to Galv.

Gebohq: (he says in a voice that Galv can almost not hear)"Hey Galv, its me, Gebohq. You ok?"

Galv: "Yeah, just peachy, what do you think?"

Gebohq: "Don't go out on me yet, I need you to help me(he thinks to himself, and so I can leave here alive). Maybe I can fix you..."

*Gebohq looks at the complicated mess of wires, bolts, and other metallic parts*

Gebohq: "Hmmmm...no, that doesn't work, maybe this piece goes-"

Galv: "Watch out!"

*Just then a loud clap like thunder echos behind Gebohq. Standing there was Ares, obviously anger of having lost Gebohq again.*

Ares: "Your still alive Galvatron. Why won't you die?"

*Ares was about to rain down destruction on Galv when Gebohq, disguised as a rock, moves quickly towards Ares*

Ares: "What the...Gebohq! You won't escape me this time!"

*Gebohq changes back into his natural form as he is using force speed and jump to evade Ares' stream of destructions and lightning*

Gebohq: (thinks to himself)"Good, Ares is diverting his attention to me. I remembered him saying that injuring him only makes him stronger, so maybe I can drain his energy as I try to avoid his attacks. At the least I might wear down his concentration, he's bound to make a mistake sometime."

*As Gebohq continues to avoid Ares's attacks, Galv notices that Gebohq left behind a battery. Galv think that with the battery he can slowly repair himself, and help Gebohq defeat Ares.*

Will Ares be defeated? Will Gebohq be able to continue avoiding his attacks? And will Galvatron be able to join in the fight in time? Find out in the next post!

To Be Continued...(by either galvatron or ares)

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~Gebohq

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GA Farrant
Member posted August 14, 1999 06:30 AM
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I hope ya'll're having fun w/ that thread.. i'm actually proud I started the longest going one.
Hey guys we've already got more than the entire review board.. let's make it to the cog board and then finally the editing Only 208 posts to go.. lol

BTW is 131 anywhere near Massassi's history record?

-Grand Admiral Farrant


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Galvatron
Member posted August 14, 1999 12:58 PM
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*Systems Normal*
Galv: I am a Worrior.. let the Battle be Joined.
*Galvatron uses Force Jump To jump right behided Ares with out him seeing, Draws lightsaber and Attacks*
Galv: Who HA!
Ares: hmm... a litte UnFair i'd say!
*Ares uses Force destruction to knck Galv over the Edge!*
Galv: AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Computer Start up the Transmetal Driver!
*aye aye*
*Galvatron is still falling Down to the Lava*
Galv: man this a Long fall...
*Galv hits The lava and Sinks...*
Ares: Well thats the last of him.. too bad he was always so much fun...
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Could This be the end of Galvatron????
Find out right after this plug!
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Vist Matrix Editing, Home to The Pred Pack and Pokemon PC!

--PLUG TAKEN OUT DUE TO MESSING THE TEXT UP. NO HARD FEELINGS, RIGHT GALV?--

[This message has been edited by Gebohq, from page 16]
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*All of a Shudden. A HUGE Dragon Comes out of the Lava!*
Ares: WHAT THE!
Galv: I'm back!
*Galvatron Flys up to the Platform and lands knock Ares and Gebohq on there butts. he thens Shoots an ICE Blast at Ares. It Incases Ares in a Block of Ice.*
Galv: Quickly Stirke NOW!
*Gebohq Slashs Ares ito little ICE cubes*
Galv: TERRORIZE!!
*Galvatron: reverts to his New Robot mode. he is Now at least 15ft tall*
Galv: that Should do.
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TBC...
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Merlin
Member posted August 14, 1999 03:12 PM
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Ares rematerializes as he comes out of Force Persausion!
Ares: Ha! You fools! You just hacked up a force dummy.

Suddenly Holst's "Mars" begins playing and everybody looks at each other with a "Where-the-heck-did-that-come-from" look. As the music reaches it cresendo a heretofore unoticed elevator rises form the platform. From it steps a man none of us recgonize. Then he activates THE JEREC PATCH! Now he LOOKS like Jerec! Even TASTES like Jerec!

With one quick action multiple bolts of lightning arch from his hands and he frys Galv! Galv's circuts overload and he shuts down. Then the Jerec/mystery man fires a destruction blast at the ground bettween Ares and Gebohq. Gebohq goes fling off the platform and only manages to grip the edge of the platform as he dangles over the lava! Ares is thrown to the otherside of the platform and lands with a audiable CRUNCH! Ares quickly gets up.

Ares: I don't know who the (censored) you are but I'm going to kick your butt!

Ares fires several blasts of force destruction at the Jerec/mystery man. Jerec assumes a medatation posture and hovers there, a force sphere around him. The blast don't even phase him! Then Jerec returns to his normal state. Reaching out with his hand in a fist he laughs. Ares rises off the floor thinking the fool is trying to grip me, but attack attack only strengthen me!

Suddenly Ares feels something happening to his body. He loses conciousness. A few minutes later Ares body is a lifeless husk and is droped to the floor. Jerec/mystery man wasn't griping him, but draining out his life. Finally Gebohq manages to lift himself back onto the platform. He now looks at the Jerec figure. The Jerec figures reaches up and pulls off his blind fold. Then Gebohq realizes the being isn't Jerec. It isn't human at all. In each eye socket glow a red pupil like the embers of a dying fire, or a dying soul. Now it speaks for the first time to Gebohq. But it's voice isn't a single voice, but a million voices, echoing, crying, sreaming, vomiting, mocking, hating, dying.

The being: We are one. . . . You are ours . . . Forever. We will devour you mind. . . your flesh. You will be ours totally. You will be part of us.

Gebohq realized he would that this being made Ares look like a newbie. What ever it was, he couldn't take it alone. Perhaps no one could face it.

It spoke again.

The being: We are the Darkside. We are its echos. We are its past. *The being now looks like Darth Maul* Its present. *It looks like Emperor Palpitine* Its future. *It looks like Kyle* We will devour your flesh, your mind, your force. You are ours sow. And now we will feast.

(For the next poster, note no one please don't just have one guy come in and like kill it, this things is like every darkjedi combined.)

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~Jedi Master Merlin~

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Galvatron
Member posted August 14, 1999 05:49 PM
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Galv: You fool! I am now a Transmetal | | there is Noting that you Can do to stop me.
*Galvatron then uses His Dragon-Head Arm to Knock IT into the Lava pit.*
Galv: Now then, I bid you all a Good Day.
*Galvatron then transforms back to Dragon Mode and Flys off*
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TBC
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Ares
Member posted August 14, 1999 09:32 PM
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(Merlin, this is not a free post topic. im gonna pretend your charecter was never entered, im trying to keep the insanity of the last thread out of this one. You saw the last thread you must know what i mean. Please edit your cherecter out, he does not belong in this topic, right now at least.)
Ares rises: "Fools! Does none of you understand? I CANNOT BE DESTROYED! I control this environment! I CONTROL EVERYTHING! I AM THE ENVIRONMENT! I even control gravity!" He increases the gravity by about 100 times, sending a very startled galvatron, falling to the ground like a 200 ton weight. "I have had enough of your foolish antics. I will crush you just as Megatron crushed Prime."

Galvatron while struggling against gravity burly able to move: "You cannot win Ares... I will destroy you...."

Ares: "Destroy me? really?" You cannot even stand up. Now i will do what i should of done the first time we fought..." Ares fires a blast of something green from his palm, which blows galvatron's torso off. Niether piece of Galvatron moves, it is impossible to say wether from the crushing gravity, or the fact hes been blown in two, or both. Ares walks over and with a beam of some sort, removes Galvatrons head. He picks Galvatrons severed head up, and tosses a bomb of some sort into Galvatrons torso. Looking at the face of Galvatrons head. He says: "Ahhh.... My trophy...." He walks away
from Galvatrons torso, and a enormous anti-matter explosion vaporizes it. (and dont anyone give me any crap that Anti-matter is in ST only, it has been created by scientists, for real, for something like a millionth of a sec.)

All that remains of Galvatron, is his legs, ands Ares's new trophy.

(To be continued by Gebohq or Galvatron? [I'd like to see you bring yourself back from this Galv.] Only.)

Ares estroy

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Galvatron
Member posted August 14, 1999 09:53 PM
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Hehe well if you had wacthed Beast Wars Season 3 then you would know how i would get out of this....
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*all of a shuden and Bright Purple Glow comes from with in Galvatron Spark... The Glow In cases Galvatron's Body. It begins to repair him. with in 20 seconds he is fully repaired.*
Galv: hahahaha... And I shall Destory you just like Prime did to Megatron.
Ares: god Damn why won't you die!
Galv: Don't worry 1 shall stand and 1 shall fall
Ares: why thorw your life away your life so worthlessly(sp?)
Galv: that is a question you should be asking yourself
Ares: Lets get it on!
Galv: BEAST MODE!!!!
Ares: now what?
*Galvatron Transform into a huge Red Dragon!*
Galv: I really like BBQ's
*Galvatron Frys Ares to a Chirsp(sp?)*
Galv: all good Well Done, just how i like it
*Galvatron Bites Ares in half and Eats him*
Galv: must remeber to Chew 24 times for each bite.
*Galvatron Swings his Tail and Knocks Ares legs into the lava...*
Galv: come on Gebohq, hope on my back and we'll go...
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TBC, Ares or Gebohq or me
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Threnody
Member posted August 14, 1999 09:53 PM
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Okay -ites, these -ians have gone to far. Now they've gone so far as to name the thread The Neverending Story, before we know it they'll be using our abreviation! I say we fight back!
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Ares
Member posted August 14, 1999 10:21 PM
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Ha Ha Galvatron. You dont get it. When Anti-Matter and normal matter collide they destroy eachother. Its the one exception to the phrase, Matter cannot be created or destroyed. Your Torso has been vaporized by a anti-matter blast.The bomb was Anti-matter. Your torso is matter, the spark is contained in the torso. It was vaporized, and your spark with it. YOUR SPARK WITH IT. YOU ARE DEAD. And a spark can be destroyed as the original Dinobot was. (Not the clone pred.) And he wasnt vaporized, he just had the crap beat out of him.
Ares looking at Galvatrons head and standing over a lava pit: "You play with fire and your gonna get burned, Droid." Ares tosses the head into the lava, and watches it melt.

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JM
Member posted August 14, 1999 10:46 PM
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*Zeus appears in a bright flash*
Zeus: *Ahem* Ares... are you playing with mortals again?
Ares: But.. But...
Zeus: No Buts! Your only three hundred thousand and eighteen! Why aren't you in bed? *Zeus's beard slips and for a moment he looks like JM, before he pushes it back where it belongs* Now, off with you! *He waves one hand in the general direction of mount olympus*
And don't you dare tell me I don't belong in here, because if you do, I'll do evil things to you!

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Gebohq
Member posted August 14, 1999 10:48 PM
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(I have yet to write another part to this story, hopefully I will. Just wanted to say I can probably only put up 1 post a day at the most. As far as the story goes, I'm a bit lost. I really like the darkside character merlin brought in, not that Ares isn't neat and all, but i think the collective Dark force could beat a god-like character. And I hope we can continue this story. Respond by 11:00 and I might be able to put another post up.)
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~Gebohq

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Gebohq
Member posted August 14, 1999 10:57 PM
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lol JM, pretty funny. Come in chat quick before I have to go
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~Gebohq

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mr-xeinsane
Member posted August 15, 1999 02:04 AM
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Out of nowhere, but seeming to come from everywhere, an ominous laugh is heard:
Jhgeehaha!

(Note: I feel that I may be able to restore an element of sanity to this thread as an Iteian, and this way I am asking to join the fray without disrupting it)

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JM
Member posted August 15, 1999 10:04 AM
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There was plenty of sanity, just these folks don't know how to write a nes.
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mr-xeinsane
Member posted August 15, 1999 12:40 PM
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What this thing needs are Rules so that it doesn't get out of hand and actually promotes a good read: rules of which I have already an idea. The post of arbritrator I would gladly fill. ~:>
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Threnody
Member posted August 15, 1999 03:18 PM
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I'm sorry mr-xeinsane, but you're not an -ite, you don't even fully understand what it means! (Your use of the word Iteian proves this)
And JM, I sure hope for your sake that you're just refering to xeinsane when you say we don't know how to write an NeS.

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Ares
Member posted August 15, 1999 09:15 PM
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I am modetrating the story. Galvatron Interfered, now hes all he is is a melted head. Anyone else want to take me on?
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JM
Member posted August 15, 1999 09:48 PM
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I was refering to Ares, actually. His writing is just... stupid... egotistical, insulting, and... stupid...
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mr-xeinsane
Member posted August 15, 1999 10:00 PM
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Which is why I think a system of honour would do the trick here in neverending stories involving Jedi Duels writen by those that duel:
If your opponent writes a magnificently written piece of literature, your bound by honour in the next section written by you to give a bit, and have your Jedi lose ground in proportion to the *superbness* of your opp0nents writing.

There you go, fair, and gives anybody else a good read.

Oh, and I'm incredibly sorry for my assumptions and mistakes, Threnody, I was just too exited at getting member status for my own good. And it seems I've started what could possibly turn into an insult-fest here, so I will apologise for that too. The harm a tired mind can cause at 3:00 AM...

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Gebohq
Member posted August 15, 1999 10:43 PM
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Hmmmm.....there seems to be a problem with how to write this story, lets see if I can't fix things. First off, I think Ares character should be less omnipitent, people tend to not like all-powerful-no-weakness characters that uses the "I'm wearing lava proof body armor" deal(that's at least what I use to say when I play those games when I was little, didn't you?). JM I think is a very good comic relief, but again, no god powers please. Galv seems to be alright, though I think he's stretching it(I admit I haven't seen transformers, so I can't say he's being unfair). Merlin's Darkside character I think should be the main bad guy, it would be an interesting match. And the writer's reward by xeinsane(? I forgot who, sorry) is a good idea too. I think we should start again from my last story post(where I think things got messed up) and try again. Ares, tell Galv your weakness so we can "almost finish" you, but then need you to fight darkside guy. And I think besides your weakness that you should have some other weak spots. If you weren't in your arena, what COULDN'T you do ares? Think about that. And I'm on between 10 and 11 now, so I'll post a story tommorow. Keep up the writing!
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~Gebohq

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Galvatron
Member posted August 15, 1999 10:55 PM
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Basicy when a Transformer uses the Transmetal Driver the go Transmetal 2. which makes them Half Life form/ half Robot. and the odd thing is that There Spark Repairs all damage with in a few min. the whole thing with me going into the Lava pit was just about the same thing that happen to Megatron in the Episode Master Blaster.
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Ares
Member posted August 15, 1999 10:57 PM
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STUPID? MY WRITING IS STUPID JM?! Well. I knew that. Lol.
And im getting tired of writing this duel anyway, so i will now end it.

(Back to the story....)
Ares: "This fight bores me." But all of you have put up a fair fight, so instead of killing you all, i will simply set time back to before everything went haywire. You will all be restored to your previous spots, except the ones that dont belong. If you however botch up the time line again, you will be brought back and destroyed.(Well, probably not, but ill be annoyed.)" With that Ares teleports everyone back to thier universes, in a flash of white light. "You have fought well. Galvatron." Ares says to himself. Ares brings Galvatrons spark back, inside a protoform. He revives him.

Protoform (Galvatron): "Ares? Im im alive.... and a protoform..."

Ares: "Actually you were not. I restored your life. And turned you into a protoform."

Protoform (Galvatron): But why? You won...."

Ares: "You fought well. Now, unlike other protoforms, you get to choose what you become.(I figured i owed him something after killing him.)"

Protoform (Galvatron): "ANYTHING?"

Ares: "Within reason." Ares laughes. "No god-like robots, or ill just turn you back into Galvatron. I am leaving now. Once you select your form, you will be teleported back to the normal time line. Oh and Galvatron?"

Protoform (Galvatron): "Yes?"

Ares: "Keep the autobots, decipticons, maximals, predacons, or any of the others out of the story okay?" Ares teleports away.

(Back in the normal universe)

Ares dosent need to use the force to know that something isnt right with wedge, but he decides not to bring it up at the time. (See original story.)

(This is the original story again. Right before everything went haywire. [The first asteroid.] And Galvatron, looks like you can be some other bot, or ae you gonna stay Galvatron? Hmmmm.....)


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Ares
Member posted August 15, 1999 11:02 PM
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I saw Master Blaster Galv. That RULED! DRAGON MEGATRON!
and now i had another thought. that jerek thing cherecer was pretty cool. now im not sure if i should keep the new story, the way i just posted or backtrack, and fight that dark thing with Galvatron and Gebohq. Thatd be pretty cool.... I just dont know.... Dammit....

[This message has been edited by Ares (edited August 15, 1999).]

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Galvatron
Member posted August 15, 1999 11:37 PM
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DNA Scaners online. Searching for combatable lifeforms

DNA repecation error...
* Portal opens in normal Space*
*All of a Shudden a Huge Dragon/Tiger/Chemelion(you know that Lizard that can Change Colors) Transmetal 2 Fuzor walks out*
Galv: I'm back...
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TBC

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Ares
Member posted August 16, 1999 12:16 AM
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Galvatron hears Ares in his head: "New form excepted. Now no funny stuff."
Ares heads for his ship. But suddenly is pulled from his universe to his own combat arena, or at least, what WAS his arena....

The being from before: "Ares. You shouldof been more carefull.. Galvatrons transformation error and your porthole you left for him stayed open somehow... bwahahaha... i now control everything you did..."

Ares: "Oh ****. For once i think i may need help..." Ares summons Galvatron to the arena for ROUND II...

Galvatron: "Whats going on? What do you want now Ares?"

Ares: "That thing has the power of this arena which is emmense. Im gonna need your help..."

Galvatron: "Dammit i was hoping this was all over...."

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Galvatron
Member posted August 16, 1999 12:57 AM
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Galv: looks like its play time... Same product, new packaging! plus a few more add-ons... so how we fighting?
Ares: him!
Galv: ok... lets try my Metamorph power...
*galvatron truns into a coke can*
Galv: hm... ok I think I know what to do, I'll distracted him you Attack.
Ares: destract him? HOW!
Galv: just wacth
*Galvatron Truns into a beautiful Nude woman*
Ares: yea that shouls Destreact him..
*Ares ues all his Power to crate a Spirte bomb*
*Whats his name is staring At the Nude Womans Breasts*
Ares: here goes everything...
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TBC

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Ares
Member posted August 16, 1999 08:44 PM
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Lol, you have a sick mind galvatron..... funny but sick never the less.....
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Gebohq
Member posted August 16, 1999 10:20 PM
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Hey Ares, did you forget me? I can't write as MUCH, but I'm still doing it. Write anything to start me(and my character) off and I will continue to add. Remember I'm on between 10 and 11 P.M. Eastern, I'd like to talk about story.
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~Gebohq

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Ares
Member posted August 16, 1999 10:24 PM
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Im not exactly sure how im going to continue it anyway. Feel free to write yourself in and continue it....
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Gebohq
Member posted August 16, 1999 11:03 PM
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(hmmm....ok, I'll start off. Hope its good. And I'll call our melin charatcer Darkside, I know, its sounds excatly the same as the guy in Superman, but give me a break. If you think of a better name, tell me and I'll edit this post with the name.)
*Ares, Galvatron, and Gebohq are now back in the arena, but now the being who says possesses(sp?) all of the dark jedi's souls and forces has brought them back.*

Gebohq: (to Galv)"Weren't we just here?"

Darkside: "Silence! I have brought you here Gebohq so that we can take your power and add it to ours. And you two, Ares and Galvatron, are here to be destroyed. You two are part of the very few light jedi who pose a threat to the Dark Side of the Force."

Gebohq: "First off, I am not an agent of the Dark Side, I lie between the two sides and will stay that way. Second, I will not serve anyone, and that includes freaks like you."

Galv: "And you won't destroy the two of us without a fight, right Ares?

Ares: "(chuckles lowly, NOT in high spirits) "Yeah, but I doubt the fight will be long, if you knew the powers that this arena held for the host, you'd understand. Not to mention that COMBINED with all the powers of the dark side, I'd say our chances of living are non-existant."

Gebohq: "There has to be a hole in the abilities of this arena, if only-"

Darkside: "ENOUGH! (he starts to sound like emperor Palpatine)I think you are mistaken Gebohq, you will be with us. We will turn you to the Dark side of the force and after you kill the other 2 for us, you will serve us, loyaly."

Gebohq: "NOOOOOOOOO!!"

*Gebohq starts to charge at Darkside, and it cackles, like emperor Palpatine had when Luke had tried to strike him on the second Death Star.*

To Be Continued....

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~Gebohq

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Galvatron
Member posted August 16, 1999 11:12 PM
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This never Happened....
[This message has been edited by Galvatron (edited August 17, 1999).]

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Ares
Member posted August 16, 1999 11:59 PM
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(Ok galvatron, im gonna pretend your last post never happened....)
Ares: "No Gebohq! He's too powerfull..."

Gebohq lights his saber and charges at Darkside. Before he can swing Darkside ignites his saber and bisects Gebohq in a split second....

Ares repairs the damage gebohq took with the force: "You DO NOT cut my friends in half..."
Ares walks over to Darkside. "Bring it on..."

Darkside cuts Ares in half. both pieces fall to the ground.

Ares: "Buahhhhhhh hahahaha...." Each piece of Ares regenerates the half missing. "You are foolish Darkside. Damage only increases my power....."

Unexpectedly, Galvatron flies overhead and shoots a enormous fireball at darkside. Darkside reflects the shot, sending it back into Galvatron. Galvatron goes flying out of control, and crashes into the ground.

Galvatron: "Unggggg.... What a stupid thing to do...."

(Hey galv, do you have a template deleter gun? if you do send it to me please.)

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Gebohq
Member posted August 17, 1999 03:43 PM
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(Ares, I need to know your weakness so I can put it in this and will make more sense. Read to find out why.)
*Gebohq rises from the ground, wondering how he lived through a cut in half, and thought in his own deluded logic that he must of healed himself. Suddenly, a wave of anger hits him, anger towards the Dark being.*

Gebohq: "I still need to take you out."(he is held back by Ares)"Let go, I need to kill the *******."

Ares: "Calm down, you need to think this through, it can't be killed by one swipe of the saber."

Gebohq: (he forgets his anger towards Darkside and is focused now on Ares)"What do you know? You couldn't even take Galvatron and I out. Only I know how. Your getting in the way!"

*Gebohq suddenly lashes out at Ares.______(fill in with attack on weakness)___. Gebohq points his dark saber at Ares.*

Darkside: "Yes, good. He tried to kill you, now you can get your revenge on him. Kill him now!"

Will Gebohq give in to the Dark side of the Force?

To Be Continued...

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~Gebohq


[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited August 17, 1999).]

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Gebohq
Member posted August 17, 1999 08:49 PM
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Isn't this fun?
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~Gebohq

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Galvatron
Member posted August 17, 1999 08:54 PM
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my weakness is poo gas
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Gebohq
Member posted August 17, 1999 09:17 PM
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funny Galv. Come in chat now. We can talk. That's whats chat is for you know.
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~Gebohq

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Gebohq
Member posted August 18, 1999 10:54 PM
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I think this story finally died. I guess its because school is starting for everyone, we don't have time to write. I'd like to end this(unless this isn't the end) with saying that if anyone wants a dialogue writer for cut scenes in JK, single-player levels, I would be more than glad to do so.
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~Gebohq

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Rob X
Member posted October 19, 1999 09:32 PM
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...well im just posting this to piss Ares off thus proving true the fact that this indeed is a neverending thread :
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~Rob
RobX2001@aol.com http://nwg.itgo.com-curious aint ya http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif
PhEaR nInJa X:P
Ares
Member posted October 19, 1999 09:39 PM
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YEEE HAA! THIS POST HAS BEEN RESURRECTED!

In a blinding flash of light, RobX is teleported to Ares's arena, along with all the Massassiites (so they can watch me massacare RobX).

Ares(In thundering voice.): "RobX, you are accused of destroying 2 of my Vipers. How do you plead?"

RobX(to himself: "Hmm i dont like the looks of this..."

Ares: "ENOUGH! YOU ARE SENTINCED TO DEATH, FOR DESTRUCTION OF MY VIPER!"

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Y2K is coming! Be afraid... Be VERY afraid...

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Gebohq
Member posted October 19, 1999 09:50 PM
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There has to be a way of moving this post over to the interactive story board, there just has to be a way! And I'm too busy thinking of stuff for the other 2 stories right now to write for this one(it be real crappy if I tried).
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Rob X
Member posted October 19, 1999 10:10 PM
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While Ares is making the final preperations for RobX's execution he uses this time to use his ninja skills and get out of is restraints.
RobX reaches for his lightsaber, ignight's it and hurries towards Ares' Command center.

RobX: You will pay for the slaughter of those innocent ducks you monster

Ares:MUHAHAHAHA you will die you insignificant little speck, i could kill you with but a flip of my wrist!

RobX: Shove it Ares, were not here to talk you egotistical tyrant, if you wanted to talk we wouldnt be here now would we?

Ares: You anger me fool, and for that you must DDIIEE

Ares and RobX battle in the foreground while a shaowdy figure looms in the backgroung watching and waiting to see who the victor of the match is....

------------------
~Rob
RobX2001@aol.com http://nwg.itgo.com-curious aint ya http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif
PhEaR nInJa X:P


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Ares
Member posted October 19, 1999 10:35 PM
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Ares punches RobX so hard he flies back and smashes into the opposing mountaln wall of the arena. Ares casually walks over and rips RobX out of the wall by his feet, and throws him like a ragdoll into the opposite wall, RobX hits the wall and falls to the ground, burly able to move.
Ares: "Fool. You homestly thought you could defreat me? Now you will pay for that idiocy with your life!

Galvatron sits on a distant set of bleechers eating popcorn and watching Ares maul RobX.

Galvatron: "This is fun for a change, instead of getting my *** beat, i get to see someone else get there sorry *** pounded."

Gebohq(Also there on the bleechers): "Great isnt it?"

Some person (that is walking up and down the bleachers): "HOT DOGS! GET YOUR HOT DOGS!"

Ares uses the force to lift a large bolder and crush RobX with it.

Ares: "This was too easy..."

Ares throws RobX into the lava.

(Combat to be continued by RobX ONLY. Anyone else feel free to post as long as your sitting on the bleachers not in combat.)

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Y2K is coming! Be afraid... Be VERY afraid...

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CygnusX
Member posted October 20, 1999 07:48 AM
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Noooooo!! Rob! I'd help my fellow X if I could, but Ares would write me out of the story! Oh well, I'll give it a try:
*Goes into a meditating trance*

*All of a sudden, a giant X falls out of the sky and lands on Ares, pinning him to the ground.*

Ares: I'll pretend this post never happened
Cyg: Damn

*Time rewinds, Cyg finds himself back on the bleachers.*

Cyg: Noooooo!! Rob! I'd help my fellow X if I could, but Ares would write me out of the story! Oh well, I'll give it a try:

*All are caught in a continuous time loop.*

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Fear the Ecks!


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Zuljin
Member posted October 20, 1999 12:37 PM
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Have you ever had the sensation of doing something that you have ever done before?
Have you ever had the sensation of doing something that you have ever done before?

Have you ever had the sensation of doing something that you have ever done before?

Have you ever had the sensation of doing something that you have ever done before?

*wills himself out of existence to get out of the annoying time loop*

------------------
And the murderer is... THE BUTLER! Yes, the butler, who I'm convinced, first gored the Colonel to death before trampling him to smithereens.

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Miss_Fire
Member posted October 20, 1999 12:58 PM
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Then Miss Fire, who was sitting in the bleachers, ordered a hot dog from the vendor. Ares and Robx continued fighting below, but the aroma of the hot dogs flowed down to the arena. Not having any snack breaks the entire time fighting, the scent was extremely distracting.
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Gebohq
Member posted October 20, 1999 04:39 PM
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*While Ares continues to pummel Rob X, Gebohq turns to the man with the hot dogs.*
Gebohq: "Oh Oh! Over here! One for my good man Galv too."

Hot Dog man: "That will be two dollars."

Galv: "WHAT? That's outrageous!"

*Galvatron then charges at the hot dog man, leaps at him, pins him to the ground, and launches a flury of punches in his face.*

Gebohq: "Hey Galv, don't worry. I'm paying."

Galv: (freezes fist over man's face)"Oh. Well, sorry there Mr. Hot dog man."

*Galv seats himself back at the bleachers with the hot dogs.*

Galv: "Look what I can do Geb."

*Galv then skewers his hot dog with his flamethrower.*

Gebohq: "yeah, well look at this..."

*The two continue to show off their talents, now ignoring the grueling fight between Rob X and Ares. This won't look good for publicity Ares thought.*

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Galvatron
Member posted October 20, 1999 05:00 PM
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Galv: Hmm want a pepsi?
Gebohq: Uhh sure...
Galv: ok. *Taps Chest and it opens to releve a mini-Frige. Glav takes out 2 sodas*
Gebohq: what else you got on ya?
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Rob X
Member posted October 20, 1999 05:05 PM
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"uuhhhhhhgggghhhhh" says RobX as he pulls himself out of the lava, Ares is more powerful than i thought...i need to find a weakness i can exploit, head on confrontation will do nothin but destroy me in the end, RobX thought to him self.
Ares believing that RobX was destroyed, moves over to the bleachers to get the Massassites out of his lair.

RobX seeing this takes the oppertunity to go into a medatation trance. When finally pulled out of the trance RobX realized what Ares weakness was and made his way to the garage....

When all was prepaired RobX popped up in front of the security camera and waved at the onlooking Ares. Not knowing what to make of this Ares teleports to the garage.

As soon as he arives RobX hides in a ventalation shaft and pushed a button on the controller that CygnusX discretly gave to RobX before Ares threw RobX into the lava.

The garage blew sky high blowing up all of Ares custom made Vipers and other sports cars.

Ares not hurt in the explosion, is stunned at the sight of all his Vipers gone...

Ares: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *sob* there gone ALL GONE!!!!!!!! how???how???? aaaaahhhhhhhh

RobX takes this moment to launch his attack against this madman called Ares.

~oops forgot to add, dont contune yet im setting up my master plan.
------------------
~Rob
RobX2001@aol.com http://nwg.itgo.com-curious aint ya
PhEaR nInJa X:P


[This message has been edited by Rob X (edited October 20, 1999).]

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Mole
Member posted October 20, 1999 05:25 PM
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Someone move or close this thread now.
Please.

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MOLE

I'm a cynical, violent, sexist, racist psychopath

But at least I'm honest

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Rob X
Member posted October 20, 1999 05:43 PM
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y would u want this post closed??? i dont see any reason too its not offeding anyone {except mabye Dodge} but other than that its nothing but good ol fashoned fun. And moving this post too the interactive forum isn't that bad of an idea
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~Rob
RobX2001@aol.com http://nwg.itgo.com-curious aint ya http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif
PhEaR nInJa X:P


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CygnusX
Member posted October 20, 1999 06:30 PM
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Yes, could one of the admins move this thread to the Interactive Story Board? It would be more at home there.
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Fear the Ecks!


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Gebohq
Member posted October 20, 1999 07:17 PM
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Gebohq: "What else you got in there Galv?"
Galv: "Well, let's see...(rummages through the mini-refrigerator)..some more Pepsis, Cokes, Dr. Peppers...and some REALLY old leftovers(notices the leftovers have formed a sentinent mind). Better throw these away."(throws the leftovers towards Miss Fire, who is terrified by the sight of moving food and immediately kills it)

Miss Fire: "Hey! Watch where you throw your trash next time!"

*Ares, noticing that Galvatron and Gebohq are not paying attention to the fight, turns to look at them.*

Ares: "Hey, do I have to drag you guys into the fight too, or are you gonna watch?"

Galv and Geb: "No, no, that's OK. We're watching now."

*Galv and Geb watch the fight now. We notice now that they are wearing T-shirts that say "Go Rob X" on them.*

Geb: "Rob, Rob, he's our man. If he can't do it, no one can!"

Galv: "Beat the crap outta him Rob X!"

Ares: (to Geb and Galv)"Do I have to beat teh crap outta you two also?"

*They immediately take out markers, scratch out Rob X, and write Ares above it. Then they continue to watch the fight. The two are very vulgar, bashing beer bellies that hadn't been there a moment ago and holding burping contests.*

Miss Fire: "Disgusting."(she then turns to watch the fight, and tries to avoid watching Galvatron and Gebohq.*

IP: Logged

Gebohq
Member posted October 22, 1999 05:22 PM
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(I copied the story over here so anyone could continue it. I would, but I have a major writer's block right now. Maybe this story just wasn't meant to live...)

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited October 20, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited December 15, 2003).]

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited June 18, 2004).]

[Miss_Fire]

Miss Fire continued watching the fight, but before too much longer, she started getting bored. Looking down, she noticed something on the ground: it was a piece of the leftovers that had survived --it was pulsing on the ground. Having nothing else to do, she pulled out her lightsaber and started poking it with the handle. It wiggled some more. Then she had an idea. She ordered a hot dog then fed it to the blob. It liked that. Jumping up, it ran to the arena where Ares and Rob x were fighting.
Miss Fire: Oops
They continued fighting, not noticing the tiny blob. Until Rob x stepped on it.

[Roger Spruce]

After willing himself out of existence, Zuljin becomes an omnipotent being, knowing and seeing all, but unable to interfere (now that's how you do omnipotence). Angered by this, he decided to will himself back into existence and to watch this spectacle that was before him.

Being stepped on really pissed the blob off, causing it to go into a blind rage, attacking RobX into submission.

Zuljin: I'll help you, Rob!

Rob: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

Zuljin steps in and ignites his lightsaber, casting an eerie black glow over the blob and his victim.

Zuljin: Hatcha! Got you now!

With the flick of a rist, Zuljin slices into the blob's body, severing it into two. The two blobs then decided to split up and attacked both Zuljin and RobX. Slicing every one of them up as they came, Zuljin soon had thousands of tiny blobs attacking him. He decides to use force destruction to rid himself of these pests.

*KABLAMO!*

Everything in that arena was scattered about and bodies were everywhere, and Zuljin found himself pinned down underneath a hotdog cart, nearly lifeless and unable to move...

------------------
And the murderer is... THE BUTLER! Yes, the butler, who I'm convinced, first gored the Colonel to death before trampling him to smithereens.

[Galvatron]

Galv: *DING!* hey the Popcorn is done!
Ge: oh good!

[Miss_Fire]

POPCORN!!! Maybe THAT would get rid of the blobs! Miss Fire grabbed a bag.

Galvatron: Hey that's my popcorn!

Miss Fire: I'll get you some more later

Miss Fire took off with the bag of popcorn and threw it. Off it went, flying clear out of the arena. All the little blobs swarmed like flys after the popcorn.

Little blobs: popcornpopcornpopcornpopcorn...

Soon the arena was cleared of blobs and the fight could continue.

[Rob X]

...everything was in order and after today Ares will never be the same.

RobX: [fire truckin] blobs, bushed back my plans...ggrrrrr...anyway its all ready, now to launch my attack.

{Ok i promise after this little paragraph ill make things more serious}
Ares watching the spectators handle the blobs in amusement doesnt notice the shadow creeping behind him.
RobX launches the only attack that could destroy a being such as ares...A TRIPLE THREAT!!! RobX forces Ares to a lifetime of using AOL, haiving to use a mac and having to post pics with XOOM...

[okokok yeah that was stupid but i have a serious mental block right now and it just popped into my head. As soon as i get more carbos ill be back

------------------
~RobX
mailto:RobX2001@aol.comRobX2001@aol.com</A>
http://nwg.itgo.com-curious aint ya :D
Pimpin' aint easy

[Miss_Fire]

oooo that's scary! (I may have nightmares tonight! http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif )

[bug]

ares is never heard of again...

------------------
Good pitching can always stop good hitting and vice versa.
- Yogi Berra?

[Galvatron]

hahaha

[Gebohq]

*Gebohq, Galv, and Miss Fire continue to watch the fight when they see Rob X execute the triple threat. Seeing AOL, a mac, and Xoom having to be used made Gebohq curl up into a fetal position just thinking about it. He closes his eyes*

Geb: "Tell me when the torture stops Galv."

Galv: "OK, let's just hope Sinbad doesn't come into the ring. That would be real scary."

[Roger Spruce]

http://homepages.go.com/~rogerspruce/itrash.jpg

------------------
And the murderer is... THE BUTLER! Yes, the butler, who I'm convinced, first gored the Colonel to death before trampling him to smithereens.

[Rob X]

ROFL good one Zuljin

------------------
~RobX
mailto:RobX2001@aol.comRobX2001@aol.com</A>
http://nwg.itgo.com-curious aint ya :D
Pimpin' aint easy

[Gebohq]

So Rob, I'm still waiting on how your going to defeat Ares. Or have you still not been able to think of a way?

[Ares]

Ares: "AHHHHHH!!!!! AOL!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!! MAC!!!!!!!!! AHHHH! XOOM!!!!!!!"

------------------
Y2K is coming! Be afraid... Be VERY afraid...

[Miss_Fire]

Everyone in the bleachers became silent in stupified horror.

[Rob X]

ok ok ok i have a way to defeat Ares...{forget that the Triple threat never happened}

With the blobs out of the way RobX could finally launch his master plan to stop Ares.

Streching out with the force RobX created a decoy Rob in front of Ares. Ares was destracted for a second but that was all it took.

Igniting his lightsaber RobX lunged foward.
Ares truned around with inhuman speed and switched on his saber just in time. The sabers clashed with a brilliant flash of light. RobX couldnt believe that Ares turned around that fast.

RobX came to the realization that Ares couldn't be defeated with a saber alone. Rob pulled out a repeater from his cloak and aimed at Ares.

Ares cant possibly deflect all the pulse blasts Rob thought to himself as he pulled the trigger.

A hundred shots a second blasted from the miniscule firearm yet in an amazing display of speed Ares mananged to deflect all the blasts.

Rob: GGGGRRRRRR

pissed off Rob lashed out with the forbidden powers of the darkside and Lunged at Ares........

{2 be contuned by Ares}



------------------
mailto:RobX2001@aol.comRobX2001@aol.com</A>
http://nwg.itgo.com
A False life is equal to death. Be true to yourself

[Galvatron]

{BEEP. BEEP.}
Ge: whats that?
Galv: oh thats just my holo messager.
*Little Hologram of Cyclonus appears*
Galv: yo Colin whats up?
HC: Your needed in a meeting.
Galv: ok ok.. I'll see if I can get out of here... Yo! Ares!
Ares: huh? What do *YOU* want now?
Rob: hmm.. hes Not paying attenion...
Galv: I gotta go to a meeting, Mind letting me leave for a little while?

[Gebohq]

with weasels on his face...

[Gebohq]

Did you want to continue thi Ares, or should I just end this quick and painlessly?

(Geb from page 19: Like that'll happen...)

------------------
"The difference between insanity and genius is sucess."

])}Gebohq{([

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited June 01, 2001).]

[Ping_Me]

A magnificent burst of electricity apprears over the bleachers. All in the stands are awed by the sight of Ping_Me, falling flat on his face next to those eating popcorn watching the fight.

"I thought I'd drop by to kill some time." he said getting up and dusting himself off.

------------------
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast
-- the mime next door
went nuts.

[RobX]

i think that ares is busy with his sith hell thread geb.

------------------
Next Wave Gaming (http://nwg.itgo.com)
There is no off position on the genius switch.

[Ares]

Yes i am busy with that, but....


Ares: "Yeah, Galv your free to go...."

Galvatron: "Cool. See ya..." (Galvatron flies away....)

Ares notices RobX attempting to sneak up on him....

Ares: "Oh no you dont...." Ares grabs RobX by the collar, and throws him into orbit....

2 months later....

Ares is looking at his watch: "He should be returning right about....."

RobX suddenly appears in the sky falling toward the ground at incredible speed. He hits the ground with a earthshattering THUD.

Ares: "Ahhhh... Right on time...."

RobX pulls himself out of the 200 foot deep hole he created: "Oh man... And i thought i knew what pain was before...."

------------------
When i go to the site daily, the general level quality seems to be getting better and better, yet people STILL release single sector levels.... Hey People when will it sink in? A SINGLE SECTOR IS NOT A LEVEL! THIS MEANS YOU TOO!

Phear Y2K....

[bug]

"I'll take Galv's place while he is gone"

*hops into the arena and notices a crater 200 feet across*

"hmmm... maybe I'll just let you 2 fight it out first"

------------------
Good pitching can always stop good hitting and vice versa.
- Yogi Berra?

[Ping_Me]

"Bug! Bug! He's our man! If he can't do it no one can!

[Galvatron]

Galv: Ok I'm back.. with a new weapon!
Rob: *Tags Galv in* Your turn...
Galv: allrighty.. POKEBALL GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
*A Porygon pops out*
Ares: A Pokemon?
Galv: yep, but not just any pokemon, This is Porygon...
Ares: Porygon.. why does that sound firmilar...
Galv: porygon use you Ultimate Attack!
*Porygon starts to make a Bright Red to Blue To Red Flash effect for 5 seconds...*
Ares; Oh no....
*Ares starts to have Convultions and passes out*
Robx: WTF! One blow and Hes down!
Galv: Thats my little Pokemon... Now come on guys lets get the Hell out of here!
*Everyone leaves.. except for poor ares... who is left on the ground in a coma*
---------
THE END!

[Ping_Me]

Kind of Anti-climactic, isn't it?

------------------
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast
-- the mime next door
went nuts.

[Galvatron]

Point being?

[RobX]

gggrrr now i gotta deal with pokemon

Ares lying on the ground uses his powers to rewind time before galvatron threw out his pokemon. Using a power beam Ares blew a gigantic hole through Galvs torso.

Galv:Ouch i needed that torso

Galv falls to the ground.

Ares: YOU STUPID -IANS!!! I BROUGHT YOU HERE TO WATCH THE UTTER DESTRUCTION OF ROBX NOT BE GIGANTIC ASSES.

Ares uses the above mentioned power beam on all the -ians(except Miss_Fire, Ares coul never hurt a girl)

RobX lunges at Ares and in mid air twirls and throws powered up cd shaped disc's. Ares puts his hands up in defense but as planned the cd's slice through Ares hands...

Ares:"SSSHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTT"

Ares runs away to regenerate while RobX approaches MissFire to set the final plan into action....(Where the hell are you ares,?)

------------------
Next Wave Gaming (http://nwg.itgo.com)
There is no off position on the genius switch.

[Twin Suns]

*I small wormhole opens and a tall cloaked warrior emerges*

*Wormhole closes*

*Walks over to the bleachers, and pulls out some nachos*

"God I love a good battle show."

[bug]

*looks down at torso*

"Aw, nuts! Why does this always happen to me?"

*passes out*

------------------
Good pitching can always stop good hitting and vice versa.
- Yogi Berra?

[Ping_Me]

*Looks at Twin Suns*

"OOOOO! Nachos!"

*Hologrammatic nachos apprear for Ping. Extra jalopeneos(sp), extra habenero sauce. Ping takes a bite. After ten seconds of lag time blasts off and begins to bounce off walls at a high rate of speed. Eventually, he lands back in his seat.*

"Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood stuff."

------------------
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast
-- the mime next door
went nuts.

[Twin Suns]

(ignore this)

[This message has been edited by Twin Suns (edited November 13, 1999).]

[Twin Suns]

*Looks around*
Twin:"Hey where did everybody go?"

*sets down nachos, looks over at ping, uses the force to place a field around the nachos*

Ping:"Nuts"

*Jumps into the arena*
Twin:"Anybody here.......?"

*Suddenly Rob jumps out of nowhere and nearly slices off Twin's torso*

Twin:"Hey!!!, I'm on your side"

RobX:"Sorry thought you were Ares"

Suddenly Ares bursts out of the lava below pissed as ever*

Twin:"What the...."

Will the new combator help to bring Ares to his knees, or will he just get him and RobX killed.....

[Space_Orca]

*Lightning crackles through the arena, and out of a portal steps Space Orca, his black and while cloak flowing behind him. Orca's sea blue saber is ignited, casting a dark shadow along the ground in front of him.*
Orca- Well well well, what have we got here?
RobX(Busy dueling)-Mphh, a fight.
Orca-Hmmm... I wonder what to do...
Man-Get all your food here!
*As Orca truns to face the man he notices Galvatron releasing Pokemon.*
Orca-HAHAHA! Another stupid bunch of Pokemon! You know I've defeated you and your minions before, Galv, so back off.
Galvatron-LOL! I won't surrender! Pokemon, swarm him!
*As the Pokemon swarm, Orca's lightsaber swings. Soon, pokemon pieces are all over the battlefield. Only Galv's superpokemon remains*
Galvatron-Use U;timate Attack!
Orca-This one appears to be force resistant. Good thing I learned a little magic in residence with Merlin! Adfasjk Kdfsd!
*The superpokemon winks out of existance, appears on galv's head, and then explodes.*
Galvatron-Ouch time!

------------------
-Space Orca
Space Orca's best qoutes:
"The Force is strong in you. The force of my lightsaber coming down!"
"A planet of pokemon? Don't bomb it from orbit. A few might survive. Get the Death Star in here!"
"Hmmmm... It looks like my Lightsaber needs a little repair work. Know of any lightsaber repair shops in town?"
"Luke Skywalker drew his lightsaber... and turned it in to the art teacher"
"Pokemon is spelled S-T-U-P-I-D!"
If you have any more funny quotes, just send them to me.

[Ping_Me]

Hmmmmm.... Now we have Space_Orca.

A little more and we'll have the whole gang from "The Saga of the 3rd War" over here.

------------------
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast
-- the mime next door
went nuts.

[Arbiter]

*small whooshing is heard in the distance*
Geb: WTF is That?
*gebohq turns to his left and there is Arbiter- Super Saiyen Sith Lord!!!

Arb: Hey guys. Heard there was a fight in town, thought I would stop by. Who's winning?

*Arbiter looks at the arena where RobX and Ares are fighting*

Arb: looks to be a good match. *pulls out Sith Sony CD Player* Nice to have tunes while at a good fight, eh?

*arbiter puts on headphones and starts jammin to da musik.*

[Gebohq]

Geb: "So Arbiter, what are you listening to?"

Arbi: "The classics"

Gebohq: "Led Zepplin?"

Arbi: "Beethoven."

Bug: "BEETHOVEN? What kind of a sith listens to classical?"

Arbi: (sits up erect): "An intelligent one, unlike you. I have my Ph.D. in English spelling and a master's in Jedi ass-whooping."

*Arbiter then hums to Beethoven's 5th symphony, which strangely fit adequetley with Rob X's head being pummeled to the ground.*

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited November 17, 1999).]

[Arbiter]

Arbiter: I grow tired of beethoven.
*removes Beethoven CD from CD Player*
*puts in John Linnell CD*
Arbiter:....i'm not gonna say they're great, i ain't gonna say they ain't....

*Geb looks around nervously*

Geb: I think I have to watch the battle now

RobX is at a disadvantage to Ares, what will he do?

[This message has been edited by Arbiter (edited November 17, 1999).]

[Gebohq]

*All of a sudden, Gebohq realizes that the entire cast from Merlin's story "Saga of the 3rd War" was seated with him to watch the fight. The Dark Wizards cheered loudly for Ares, a couple of undead futily attepted to eat popcorn to find out that their bodies could not consume it, Ji'tory and Reyuan were flirting with each other, among many other things did the others do also.*

Gebohq: "Ack! What are they doing here?"

Arbiter: "I think its one of those cheep "bring two stories together" like the Jetsons meets the Flinstones."

*Will this story be succumbed by such a cheap plot? Will Arbiter ever stop listening to music? Will the actual fight ever be mentioned again? Tune in next time!*

[Arbiter]

Arbiter: The undead bore me. Resident Evil 3 is better than watching them try to eat popcorn.

*Arbiter raises a hand towards the group of the undead. Suddenly, a large blue-white beam engulfs the group and they are distintegrated in a matter of seconds*

Arbiter: Hmm, this is better than listening to music.
*arbiter puts down cd player and headphones*

Arbiter: target practice time.

*arbiter takes out a sniper rifle from under his cloak. He levitates an undead to a cliff 100 meters away, takes aim, and the undead's head explodes like an overripe watermelon smacking pavement*

[bug]

um, you're forgetting that the undead carry heat seaking, napalm loaded, rocket launchers. A crowd of over 100 undead soldiers all pull out their weapons, take aim at Arbiter, and fire.

Arbiter's eyes get bigger as he watches over a hundred rocket propelled grenades start to home in on his position.

------------------
Good pitching can always stop good hitting and vice versa.
- Yogi Berra?

[Arbiter]

*Arbiter, moving faster than anyone's eyes can track, avoids all the rocket propelled grenades. Arbiter ignites his duel-saber, a soul-piercing fiery blue, and makes short work of all attacking undead*

Arbiter: Sure helps to be A Super Saiyen Sith Lord when you're dealing with those undead.

*Arbiter extends his hand again, and again a blue-white beam engulfs his attackers. All are instantly vaporized*

Arbiter: Be this a lesson to all that would oppose me.

[This message has been edited by Arbiter (edited November 20, 1999).]

[bug]

unfortunately for him, one of the RPG's that was originally tracking him goes off course and hits the ceiling. A big, 200 pound ceiling tile falls 300 feet and hits him on the head.

[Arbiter]

*the ceiling tile APPEARS to hit Arbiter on the head, but, in fact, Arbiter was far away when the ceiling tile hit*

Arbiter: Since when do RPG's track?

*Arbiter focuses his mind. He dismantles and destroys all RPG launchers. No exceptions*

Arb: That should prevent any further ceiling damage or possible damage to myself.

*Arbiter takes off at tremendous speed. He speeds around the ring, lopping off the heads of the undead*

Arbiter: Any other smart stuff you wanna try?

*Arbiter flicks off his duel saber, flicks his wrist, turning the saber around once, and reattaches it to his belt hook*

[This message has been edited by Arbiter (edited November 20, 1999).]

[RobX]

--------------NON STORY REPLY--------------
RobX:hhmppp will ares ever contune this??? Geb i think that u should enter the fight to keep it up.


--------------STORY REPLY--------------
Morris the cat: hmmp where is robert, he said he would feed me when he got home but hes been gone for days.

*morris sees a blueish swirl before him, with nothing better to do he walks into it.

Morris falls on Geb's head.

Geb: What the hell??? who let this fat hamster in???

Morris: Im not a hamster you fool, i am MORRIS THE SUPER EDITING WEB KITTY

Geb:Yeah whatever but you sure are fat.

Morris:tell me something i dont know, now wheres the food.

*morris snifs around and sees twin suns nachos and walks towards them.

Twin Suns:Awwwww crap, scat scat scat kitty.

Morris: shut yo mouth foo. these are my nachos now, now go away before i poo in your sneakers

Twin Suns walks away while Morris watches his owner RobX fighting Ares.

{ok ares get off your ass and contune this}



------------------
Next Wave Gaming (http://nwg.itgo.com)
There is no off position on the genius switch.

[Gebohq]

(I've got it! I know how to keep the story fresh!)

Ares: "I grow weak. Let's spice things up a bit."

*Ares then turnes the fighting ring to apply to the rules of Tekken Tag Tournament!*

Ares: "I tag Geb!"

*Ares flips out of the ring and into the bleachers where Gebohq takes his place. His stance is much like Lei Wulong's.*

Geb: "Alright! I love that game!"

*will Rob decide to continue fighting or tag someone in for his place?(waves hand in front of Rob X's face)You WANT to tag in Arbiter...*

------------------
"The difference between insanity and genius is sucess."

])}Gebohq{([

[Miss_Fire]

Bored from the lack of action -- and there being a break from the fight anyway -- Miss Fire desides to get up and take a visit to the snack bar.

*looks through the myriad of choices*

Miss Fire: 98 different things in the snack bar and not one of them looks any good! Oh well.

*walks back to the bleachers and takes her seat, pulling out a magazine entitled Jedi Today*

Miss Fire: I'll just kill time until something happens. ooo! Tips for making your lightsaber brighter while remaining environmentally friendly!

[bug]

those are heat seeking, napalm loaded, RPG's. They track, then burn what they hit.

The only design flaw with them is when the first one explodes, all the others loose sight of their targets and aim themselves towards the burning explosion.

*Points up towards the ceiling*

Like that

The 99 other RPG's all slam into the domed ceiling, causing a massive explosion that rocks the building. Ceiling tiles and burning napalm fall towards the spectators watching the fight below. Arbiter waves his hand, and a force field comes up between the napalm and the bleachers. The ceiling tiles smash themselves onto the force field with a thunderous noise, permently damaging the ears of everone in the room. Arbiter gets an annoyed look on his face and looks at the decipated undead soldiers.

Arbiter: "I said DON'T TRY ANYTHING!"

------------------
Good pitching can always stop good hitting and vice versa.
- Yogi Berra?

[Enchilada_Man]

*A man with a sombrero on his head and holding a large bag on his side enters from the top of the bleachers and starts singing*

Enchilada Man: Enchiladas! Nice and Hot! Enchiladas! I got I got!

*Miss Fire puts down her lightsaber manuel and waves frantically at him and he slides down the rail to her, all the while still singing*

Enchilada Man: I've got an enchilada that's absolutely "bleh!" You want an enchilada that's positively "yeeeach?" Only a peso for chili con queso on the top of it. Hurry up and buy some "enchilada-yum-yums" then my song will quit.

*Miss Fire immediately hands him some money and takes several enchiladas, not just for the sake of the food, but also to shut him up. They both sit back down. Fire chews on her enchilada and pulls back out her magazine.*


[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 22, 1999).]

[RobX]

RobX looks around for someone to tag but no one has the power to face Geb.

RobX takes the classic stance of Jin Katazua.

Geb launches his first attack with a deep foward jump followed by a roundhouse sweep.

RobX countered with a heel kick to gebs head.

Staggering backwards Geb falls into a pit filled with snakes.

Using his force powers Geb jumps out of the hole and launches a fury of fists towards RobX. Geb focused his attacks towards RobX's midsection so a simple sweep was all it took to get Geb down on the ground.

RobX leaped high into the air and pulled a piece of debris and dropped it on Gebs stomach.

Geb:mommy....**

------------------
Next Wave Gaming (http://nwg.itgo.com)
There is no off position on the genius switch.

[Gebohq]

*As Gebohq is getting beaten by Rob X, he thinks to himself how rusty he had gotten.*

Geb: "Mommy!"

*As soon as the words were uttered, Geb's mom stepped into the arena! She looked like what a mother of that species would look like, except unlike Gebohq, she wore an apron and had a clump of white hair on the top of her head. She walked to Rob X waving her dough roller.*

Geb's mom: "What are you doing picking on my son! You should be ashamed of yourself, starting fights. You big bully..."

*Rob X was powerless against such a person. All he could do was tune it out and reply as best as he could.*

Rob X: "...Yes Geb's mom...I'm sorry Geb's mom...your right, I shouldn't of done that..."

*But as the onslaught of words came on from Geb's mother, even Gebohq was starting to get annoyed.*

Geb: "Awww maw! We were just playing around."

*now Geb's mom was turned to Gebohq.*

Geb's mom: "You know better young man than to get into a fight. I raised you up to be a good boy."

Geb: "Help!"

*Rob X then kicks Geb's mom promptly out of the arena.*

Rob X: "I'm sorry, but she was getting on my nerves."

Gebohq: "Life goes on."

*Gebohq then falls to the ground and kicks Rob X into the air, then executes a roundhouse kick as he falls. Rob X retaliates with some really neat looking kicks, but Gebohq grabs his leg in mid-kick and twists it, making him fall again.*

Rob X: "Hey! Lei can't do that!"

Gebohq: (with a smirk on his face)"But I'm not Lei, am I?"

*Gebohq and Rob X continue to fight, the crowd being all too bored now by all such talk.*

[Enchilada_Man]

*Back at the bleachers, Miss Fire is enjoying her enchiladas, but now is getting thirsty. She leans over to Enchilada Man.*

Miss Fire: Youch! This stuff is spicy! What kind of sauce do you use?
Enchilada Man: Fire sauce! Want some lemonade?
Miss Fire: Please.

*Enchilada Man runs over to Galvatron on the bleachers.*

Enchilada Man: You got lemonade in there?

*Galv opens up his chest which reveals a line of fountain drinks. He punches the one marked "Lemonade," and starts pouring some in a cup*

Galv: Sure do! Hey, that tickles!

*Enchilada pays him for two drinks and heads back towards Miss Fire.*


[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 22, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 22, 1999).]

[Enchilada_Man]

*On his way back, Enchilada Man bumps into a man in a lawn chair, who is also watching the fight.*

http://fp.eonline.com/www.eonline.com/Features/Specials/Century/Nov/Images/hope.w.jpg

*He immediately recognizes him as Bob Hope, his favorite actor. Maybe it was the chin he recognized, or the nose, or perhaps the fact that BOB HOPE was written in huge lettering on the lawn chair.*

*Anyway, Enchilada Man got exited*

Enchilada Man: May I have your autograph, Mr. Hope?

Bob Hope: Sorry, I'm late for a meeting.

*He immediately gets up, takes his chair and leaves the building. Enchilada Man watches the car drive off.*

Enchilada Man: Oh, well. to Miss Fire: Here's your lemonade.

Miss Fire: Thanks.

*They both sit back down and continue watching the fight, which has really picked up.*

------------------
Enchiladas! Nice and Hot!
Enchiladas- I got I got!

[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 24, 1999).]

[Enchilada_Man]

double post

[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 22, 1999).]

[Twin Suns]

*Twin Suns walks out from under the bleachers with a large smile on his face, as he walks away you can hear an almost unaudible "meowing" sound*

Twin Suns: That takes care of that

*He looks into the arena at the new fight in progress*

Twin Suns: Interesting....

*He sees Miss Fire alone in the bleachers and walks over*

Twin Suns: Enjoying the fight?

Fire: *glances up blankly* Oh the fight... yes... It's good.... and you are?

Twin Suns: Twin Suns' the name

*Looks over at Galv and the the enchilada man*

Twin: Hey it looks like that guy is.... O MY GOD!!!

*All the fighters glance over at Galv and the Enchilada man, the only sound that is heard is the trickling of the liquid into the cup*

Ares: What the hell do you think this place is a giant urinal?

Galv: *Realizes the akwardness of the situation* O God sorry guys, it's just lemonade see *drinks some* O **** I forgot I part machine!!

*Galv starts sparking and emiting strange noises from within, and suddenly his head shots off and falls into the pit of snakes*

Galv: Snakes.... I hate snakes....



[This message has been edited by Twin Suns (edited November 22, 1999).]

[Enchilada_Man]

*Galvatron turns off the lemonade, and the spicket returns to the inside of his chest. Enchilada Man looks around a second, feeling akward (sp?) standing in front of a headless body that is still much alive.*

Enchilada Man: Uh, can I get you anything? A drink? A, uh, screwdriver? Sheesh, I feel like I'm in an Inspector Gadget show here.

*The arm of Galvatron pulls open his chest and punches a couple of buttons, then his hand falls off.*

Galv(from down in the pit): Drat! Wrong button. Hey, Amigo, gimme a hand here.

*Enchilada Man picks up Galv's hand and screws it back on. the hand punches some more buttons, and the chest closes and his shoulders open up, spraying a large amount of powder in the pit. The snakes die instantly, and Galv's arm extends down the pit, picks up the head, zooming up at lightning speed, the head pops back on the neck, and screws back on.*

Enchilada Man: I knew you'd get your head on straight sooner or later.

*Enchilada Man takes some more lemonade and sits back down beside Miss Fire.*

------------------
Enchiladas! Nice and Hot!
Enchiladas- I got I got!

[RobX]

RobX tags Enchilada_Man.

RobX: Its your turn to fight wether you want to or not... heh heh heh.

------------------
Next Wave Gaming (http://nwg.itgo.com)
holding up an onion ring he proclaimed, "Look sir, droids!"

[Enchilada_Man]

*Enchilada Man gets up out of his seat, mumbling.*

Enchilada Man: "It's so hard to run with this sombrero on my head!"

*He walks out into the area slowly, and thinks to himself:*

what am I doing out here?! I'm no jedi! I just came here to sell some enchiladas!

*Then it hits him! his enchilada bag! He runs around in tight circles around in the arena. Everyone just watches with contorted expressions on their faces. Enchilada Man pulls out an enchilada and throws it up high. It lands with a splat. He continues in this manner, but now he's throwing them at everyone!*

Enchilada Man: yeeeeha!

*An enchilada hits Rob X square in the chest, making him fall backwards onto an enchilada already on the ground and sliding to the other side of the rink. Enchilada Man tags him*

Enchialda Man: Tag!

*Enchilada Man runs off to his spaceship "El-Taco-Grande" (which looks like a giant taco) and hops past his body guards and into the hatch. His body guards follow him in and close the doors.*

Enchilada Man: I've had a wonderful time, but I've got to go.

*He winks to Miss Fire. She holds up an enchilada in one hand and winks back, giving him a thumbs-up with the other hand. He takes a picture, and uses it for his enchilada web site. His spaceship blasts off to the planet Espa-nol, where he came from.*

the fight now continues!

------------------
Enchiladas! Nice and Hot!
Enchiladas- I got I got!

[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 24, 1999).]

[Arbiter]

*arbiter looks at the departing ship*
Arbiter: ooooook. That was strange.

*arbiter looks at Robx and Geb and shrugs*

Arbiter: Looks like I'm in. Have at you, nave!

Geb: Nave!?! I'm shocked! and i thought you were a nice Sith dude.

*arbiter shrugs again and runs toward geb*

[This message has been edited by Arbiter (edited November 24, 1999).]

[Galvatron]

You don't want to know where the Ice Cream comes from....

[Enchilada_Man]

*As Arbiter runs for Geb, Rob X stops them with a yell...*

Rob X: Hey! wait a minute guys! The Taco-Dude tagged me! me! me! I'm "it" now.

*The others shrug, and Rob X starts chasing them. They all run around the whole building while desparately trying to avoid stepping in the slippery enchiladas that the mysterious salesman left, as well as trying to avoid bumping into the old janitor that is cleaning up all the spilt food.*

[RobX]

man a person gets a cold and is away for a while and look what happens.

RobX tags Arbiter.

RobX pulls out his Panasonic Cd player with 40 sec anti shock protection.

RobX watches the fight...


------------------
Next Wave Gaming (http://nwg.itgo.com)
holding up an onion ring he proclaimed, "Look sir, droids!"

[Gebohq]

Arbiter, now with the chance to finally fight, decides to incorperate yet another element in the fight: the fighting style of the Matrix!

Arbiter: "I will enjoy watching you die Mr. G."

Gebohq: "The name is Geb!"

They begin to fight. While fighting, the speed at which they fought often slowed down for them, each of their punches and kicks were nicely coreographed, and the two continued ripping off lines from the movie.

They eventually grew tired of that and started pulling referances to Terminator, Predator, Monty Python. The list of ripoffs grew until at last all the companies in charge of the movies came to threaten them.

Gebohq: "Awww crap! We're gonna be sued!"

Arbiter: "Wait! No need to fear! Jonny Cochrane will be here!"

He then proceeds to prepare for a painful court session.

[Arbiter]

*the CEOs of the film companies close in on arbiter and geb. Arbiter holds out his fist and extends his index finger. A small whtie beam shoots from the finger and hitd the ground near the CEOs. They freeze*

Arbiter: I do not think you want to do that.&lt;waves his hand in Jedi fashion&gt; You will drop all charges and walk away.

CEOs: We have dropped all chrages and you may proceed with your fight. Sorry to have bothered you.

*With that, the CEOs walk away and are never heard from again. Arbiter turns back to Geb, and flicks on his saber*

Arbiter: Have at you!

*Arbiter runs forward, jumps, and comes down with a vicious cross-slash. Gebohq jsut barely gets his saber up in time to deflct the slash. Geb sees this will be a hard fight*

[Gebohq]

*While Gebohq and Arbiter duke it out, the audience now sees a TV with cool camera angles of the fight.*

voice from TV: "It's the battle of the century! Gebohq vs. Arbiter! And you can see it right now only on Pay-per-view! Only $9.95, on refunds accepted."

*Meanwhile, Gebohq continues to barely block Arbiter's attacks. But Geb finds it hard to keep this up as Arbiter swings from above, then from the left, then from the right, swings in a circle as he ducks and attacks from the right again. Arbiter then scathes Gebohq's right shoulder. Gebohq falls in pain, Arbiter points his saber at Geb's neck.*

Arbiter: "All too easy."

*Gebohq then pushes Arbiter's lightsaber away with his own, rolls to his side, gets up and swings at Arbiter's legs, which caught him by surprise. Arbiter managed to block it though and the fight went on. Gebohq hopes someone will be willing to fight Arbiter soon, for he had already fought two others and he was growing tired.*

*Meanwhile, on the bleachers...*

Rob X: "Is it just me or is it hot in here" *Rob was trying to make a joke about Miss Fire, a bad one at that.*

Galvatron: "Well we are in the middle of a volcano." *He points at the arena, noting the lava pits surrounding the arena.* Could someone do something about the air conditioning?"

Rob X: "I didn't mean that...awww forget it."

[RobX]

oh geez man, talk about your corny lines. *sigh*

RobX pulls out an a/c and puts it on high.

RobX mumbles to himself...ill get you back for that geb...

------------------
Next Wave Gaming (http://nwg.itgo.com)
RobX no function beer well without

[Gebohq]

*Meanwhile, more than a month has passed in the Sol system, where the New Republic and Imperial forces have stopped in mid-battle to wait for the conclusion of Ares' challange to all bad writers. Onboard the Chimera, the Grand Admiral Thrawn is growing impatient...*

Thrawn: "It's been over a month since Ares has made us stop this battle for his own pleasure! I want to get on with this battle already so I can move on with more important things..."

#1 officer: "But there's something more, isn't there?"

Thrawn: "Well...I'm just not feeling as loved as I was before. I(sniff)...I want to be involved. They don't write about us anymore! I FEEL SO UNLOVED!"*starts crying on officer's soldier*

Officer: "There there...just let it all out..."
--------------------------------------------
*On the planet Earth on a little place known as Drazen Isle, Galvatron is watching the fight on Pay-per-view, surrounded by beautiful anime women.*

Galvatron: "ahhhh....much better than the hot bleachers. Sailor Mercury!"

Sailor Mercury: "Yes my master?"

Galv: "Bend over so I can see....see you better."

*She precedes to do as he asked.*

Galv: "definately better than the bleachers..."

[Antestarr]

*Meanwhile, in a warehouse just outside of the solar system...*

Mysterious voice: I don't care how you do it so long as his...

*Owner of mysterious voice catches flying bag of popcorn*

Mysterious voice: What in the name of all that is sacred is a bag of popcorn doing flying into my abandoned warehouse?

*A rather large mob of small slime creatures proceeds to burst through the door*

Mysterious voice: Great, just when my plans were about to come to fruition, some bozo sends the evil slimey thingies after me. I, Antestarr, shall proceed to vanquish these slimes and find the ones responsible for such sacrelige!

*Antestarr grabs what has to be one of the largest salt shakers ever seen by mortals*

Antestarr: Okay, who wants to sizzle?

------------------
~Antestarr

[Gebohq]

*Gebohq and Arbiter continue to fight to the death, the crowd in the bleachers now screaming very loud at each attack the fighters made. Arbiter's attacks were very planned out, swinging slowly, but more heavily at Gebohq. Gebohq knew that he would have to be more wary than usual to be able to predict his opponents attacks. Up in the bleachers, a feminine voice could be heard.*

female voice: "Hi Gebby!"

*The two fighters stopped while Gebohq waved back, then sighed*

Arbiter: "Who's that?"

Gebohq: "My girlfriend. She's here to support me and all that."

*Arbiter looks at the woman in the bleachers, then turns back to Gebohq.*

Arbiter: "Man, she sure has a nice pair of..."

*Arbiter did not realize that no matter how skilled you were, it was no match for the wrath of a jealous boyfriend.*

Gebohq: "You will die for that!!!!"

*Gebohq then launched an attack so forceful it took every ounce of energy for Arbiter to defend himself. He knew this would pass however....hopefully. Meanwhile, at the bleachers...*

Rob X: (to Geb's girlfriend)"Hey, I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?"

*She proceeded to smack him on his face. He turned away, rubbing his face which was now red. He stopped in mid-stride, face turning white as one of his ex-girlfriends stood in front of him...*

Ex-girlfriend: "I found you!!!! Your never run from me now!"

Rob X: "Nooooo!!!"

*Rob ran frantically in the opposite direction with his ex right on his tail.*

[Antestarr]

*Back in the warehouse, where there was just recently a mass genocide of slimes...*

Antestarr: Well, trusty assistant, I'm off to join the people at the battle of the century, and possibly get retribution for having to fight off hordes of slimes.

Assistant: How do you know that was where the popcorn was from, sir?

Antestarr: It was really quite simple. After I figured out the trajectory, judged the velocity of the popcorn, and put into account the various gravitational fields around the universe, I got very confused. Then I remembered watching the same bag of popcorn thrown from an arena on Pay-Per-View Channel 2548543. Now, I'm outta here, hold the fort, alright?

Assistant: Yes sir.

*The mysterious Antestarr, with flowing black cape and various arcane symbols adorning his garb, prepares for flight to find battle, glory, retribution, and money...*

------------------
~Antestarr
"To stand divided we would surely fall, until our darkest hour when the light will save us all."

[Gebohq]

*Among the cheers from the crowd, one might hear Miss Fire yelling "Go Arbiter". She thought that even though that Geb guy was nice and all, Arbiter had a vaster intellect. Besides, she always had a thing for bad guys(Arbiter being a sith and all)...*

Miss Fire: "Show him Arbi!"

*Arbiter stopped in midfight hearing Miss Fire and took a step towards her. Gebohq still outraged wasn't thinking quite as clearly and was preparing to charge at Arbiter, but missed and fell to the ground from the momentum. Arbiter then flashed one of those Hollywood-worthy smiles, all teeth. Miss Fire went red in the cheeks. But that quickly passed as Gebohq got back up and was heading for Arbiter, Arbiter still looking at Miss Fire.*

Miss Fire: "Watch out!"

*Arbiter turned and only had time to put up his lightsaber as Gebohq lept at him like a wild vorskner. The fight was still looking grim for Arbiter.*

Miss Fire: "Oh no! I've got to help him, but how?"

*Just then, Rob X was running by her and hearing her, stopped suddenly. His ex-girlfriend who was right on his heels also tried to stop but tripped from her own momentum and crashed with a racket of noise, falling on several thing including some mysterious trashcans and Morris the cat.*

Rob X: "Why don't you dial "M" for monkey? Monkey has always been there in a time of need."

Miss Fire: "I can't believe I didn't think of that before! Thanks ATT man..er..I mean Rob. I'll go do that."

*Miss Fire went to the pay phone nearby while Rob noticing that his ex-girlfriend was preparing to chase him again, decided to dive under one of the bleachers before she saw him.*

[Miss_Fire]

*Miss Fire dials at the payphone*

voice on other end: Eee Ee oo!

Miss Fire: Drat! I can't understand a word theyr'e saying! I'll have to take matters into my own hands. Hmm...what can I do?

*Miss Fire suddenly remembers her backpack. She runs back to the bleachers where Geb and Arb are still brawling. Reaching back, she pulls out a giant gun (which could have never fit in such a tiny pack under normal circumstances) and aims.*

Miss Fire: All right! Get back to the middle of the arena and fight -- no more of this fighting in the middle of the bleachers where no one but the cameramen can see you!

*As Geb and Arb make their way down, Miss Fire sticks her gun back in the pack where it fits with no problem among the myriad of other weapons and nifty objects.*

------------------
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

[RobX]

RobX pops out of the bleachers and slices Gebs head clean off.

fast and efficiant, now about those corny one liners....

------------------
Planet Gaming (http://planetgaming.tripod.com)
The trouble with the long run is in the long run everybody's dead

[Gebohq]

*Rob was about to sit back down at the bleachers when Ares pops up right in front of him!*

Ares: "How dare you do that! Now the pay-per-view ratings are plummiting with no fighting going on!"

Rob: "Sheesh, don't get so uptight about it!"

Ares: "Put Geb's head back on his body right now!"

Rob: "Fine fine...*muttering* hope Ares keels over dead."

Ares: "WHAT WAS THAT??"

Rob: "Err....Hope Ares gets some head?"

Ares: "I sure hope so..."

*Rob proceeds to place Geb's head back on with a plugging sound. Gebohq then rubs his neck to get the cinks out of it.*

Geb: "Never thought I'd live through a decapitation...and why the hell did you do that Rob? Its not my fault that the scriptwriter for you has the same name as me..."

non-corperal voice: "He's right. Sorry about the one liners...I had writer's block."

*Rob X then waves his fist up in the air as if to warn that he'll do worse if that happened again.*

Ares: "Now apologize to Gebohq and the viewers watching."

Rob: (grumble)"yeah yeah....sorry y'all. But could someone PLEASE get rid of my ex?"

different non-corperal voice: "Sure thing."

*And then the huge eraser came down on Rob's ex-girlfriend and rubbed her out of existance*

Rob: "Thanks a million. Now let's get it on!"

Miss Fire: "Yeah, when do i get to kick someone's butt?"

Morris the Cat: "Am I the only one perplexed here?"

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr finally makes his way to the vicinity of the arena, and finds a space on the bleachers*

Antestarr: Phew, you guys wouldn't believe the traffic out there! A whole frickin' Imperial fleet?! And as if the traffic jam wasn't bad enough. I got two tickets from random Tie-Cops who caught me making illegal passes between Star Destroyers!

Rob: Eh, it's been worse. At least you weren't chased by your ex-girlfriend!

Antestarr: Yeah, but still! Parking around here is worse than the mall at X-mastime. Hell, my ship's double-hovered! And with Imperials around... I had to sign up as a possble contender merely to bring in a couple of weapons. Man I wish retribution were easier to come by...

*Various eyes perk up at the sound of the word 'retribution'. Mutterings go around the bleachers faster than squishy hot dogs.*

Antestarr: (to self) Hmm... so which one of these folks is responsible for my troubles with slimes...

[Gebohq]

*Rob X walks over to Miss Fire, who just finished threatening Arbiter and Gebohq with her giant gun and was placing it in a bag that should of been much too small to hold such weapons of destruction. Rob then leans his head over to peer into her bag.*

Rob: "Hey, what else ya got in there?"

Miss Fire: (closing the bag and pulling it away quickly) "None of your business...and will you back off, I need my space."

*Rob peers towards the viewers, squinting his eyes, then resumes to look int hat direction normally.*

Rob: "Awww no. I'm not saying that! I told you, no corny one-liners!"

*The man holding the Q-cards behind the camera frantically points at the card, then points upwards.*

Rob: "To hell with them! They can go-"

[This broadcast is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by........]

[We now resume our regularly shedueled program.]

*In the fighting arena is now several chairs lined up, two of them occupied by Gebohq and Arbiter. Standing in front of the cameras is Jerry Springer.*

Springer: "Today's topic is "Guys who don't like guys commenting on their girlfriends". Now tell me Gebohq, what happened?"

Gebohq: "Well, I was just minding my own business, assulting Arbiter here, when my girlfriend cheered for me."

Springer: "Let's bring her out, shall we?"

*Geb's girlfriend walks from the side and takes a seat next to Gebohq.*

Arbiter: "See? She's a real looker!"

*Jerry walks over tot eh bleachers, where Ping_Me is standing to make his comment*

Ping: (in surfer voice)"Hey, like, if that guy has to make comments about every woman that passes by, then, like....he needs to look at himself!"

*The crowd applaudes in agreement. Jerry walks over to Miss Fire with the next comment.*

Fire: "Yeah, I don't know why that guy's girlfriend is still hanging out with him! She should move on!"

*More applause is heard. Springer moves to Rob X with his comment.*

Rob X: "I LIKE LLAMAS!"

*A silence from the crowd. A few crickets could be heard.*

Rob: "What? Llamas are cool!"

Springer: "Yes...and now back to Gebohq and Arbiter who--"

*Before he could finish his words though, a full-fledged scream-fest was ensueing. Gebohq was being held back by a security guard, spewing profanities at Arbiter who was holding a chair in front of him should Gebohq escape the guard's grip.*

Gebohq: "You *beep*! I'm gonna *beep* your *beep* *beep* and *beep-beep-beep* with your *beep!...."

*The audience soon got involved and started physically fighting each other. Will nothing stop this insane TV host and his show?*

[Gebohq]

*Meanwhile, off the scene, Rob X stands in hte middle of a white background, talking with the non-corperal scriptwriter named Gebohq...*

Rob X: "...you got that? I want to look and say what I want, not what you or the masses want. You'll leave it at that, or else..."

disembodied voice: "Fine, fine, just don't do anything rash...I guess I'll just have to pick on Antestarr then-"

Antestarr: (out of view)"I heard that!"

------------------
"90% of life is the anticipation." (not a self-quote)

&gt;&gt;&gt;Gebohq&lt;&lt;&lt;

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr peers at the scene below*

Antestarr: Hmm... Jerry Springer? I'm sick and tired of that guy tearing up the ratings charts with random acts of violence, while innocent pay-per-view viewers like myself get ripped off.

*Antestarr pulls out what looks to be some kind of modified crossbow-on-a-rope.*

Antestarr: HEY JERRY, COME HERE!

*He takes aim, and with relative ease manages to tie up Springer from his seat at the bleachers.*

Morris: ???

Antestarr: You want the ratings to catch fire? I'll show you how hot network television can be!

*He takes the bundle-o-springer and a T.V. camera, finds a nice outcropping over the molten lava, hangs Jerry from the outcropping, and sets up the camera to record the event.*

Antestarr: Now, ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure... BBQ a-la Jerry Springer! Which will happen first? Will the licking flames from the pit below burn through Jerry's bonds so that he plummets to a quick and relatively painless death? Will his inner bodily fluids boil from overexposure to heat? Will our ratings go through the roof? Only you, the viewers can decide by phoning 1-900-INDCASH, where you can contribute money towards whichever fate you prefer. These contributions will go to the poor children of earth who have no cable...

*As he drones on like a bad infomercial, the viewers are torn between the need to watch Jerry burn and the boredom of listening to his monotone voice.*

(Disembodied voice of Gebby scriptwriter): Shut up already before I have you tagged in against Mamma Mammoth, the universe's heaviest heavyweight woman!

Antestarr: Oh, sorry sir, it'll never happen again.

------------------
~Antestarr
"I have suffered ten thousand years of humiliation, and I shall remember every minute of it as I avenge my anguish."

[Gebohq]

*The crowd screams in excitement and joy as it was decided that Springer's fate was to burst into a flaming husk, thus burning the rope off and finally squirming slowly in agony in the molten lava. As if by magic, the arena is transformed back into the way it had appeared before Jerry Springer came and the fighters went back to entertain the crowd.

Gebohq: "Better end this quick, the end of time as we know it is about to fall on us."

Arbiter: "Correction: it will be the end of humanity, specifically for the people on the planet Earth. While they all worry about Y2K, they never stop to think about the comet heading right for them."

Gebohq: "But isn't this arena on Earth?"

Arbiter: "Who knows?"

*Meanwhile, Antestarr continues his quest to find the guilty member who caused him his trouble with the slimes.*

Antestarr: "So, would anyone care to tell me which one of you threw the popcorn and caused the slimes to follow?"

*Everyone in the bleachers points their fingers at Miss Fire, who in return gives them all a cold stare. They all look away in fear of spontaniously combusting from her stare.*

Antestarr: "Well then, I think its time for a little retribution..."

------------------
"90% of life is the anticipation." (not a self-quote)

&gt;&gt;&gt;Gebohq&lt;&lt;&lt;

[Gebohq]

*What Gebohq and Arbiter did not realize was that Y2K was in fact a threat to Earth, only not in the form they thought it would take. When the part of the planet closest to the international deadline crossed the new millenuim, the beast emerged from its secret hiding place. Its head, a big yellow "Y", looked from left to right as if looking for its first target. It soon sensed the presence of the arena and began to charge towards the general direction, the "Y" in front, the "2" acting as the front legs and teh "K" acting as the back legs, with the upper portion of the "K" swinging like a tail. It seemed as if our unwitting heros have trouble up to their heads this time.*

[Antestarr]

*As the enormous Y2K beast approaches the arena, a small craft with a sign on top reading "Papa John's" lands in the adjacent fire lane.*

Delivery boy: Pizza for a Mr.... uh... Arbiter?

Arbiter: *gasp* My professional pizza's here! Time out for a moment.

*Without warning, the Y2K beast devours the pizza boxes, their contents, the delivery boy, the craft, and a random mime who had managed to wander in from nowhere.*

Arbiter: Foul creature! You... you ate my PIZZA! and a mime. How... how could you?! You have been threatening to terrorize the lives of many many people, yet you choose me as the first to insult! I have to draw the line somewhere!

*Arbiter's eyes begin to glow a pale green... his hair occasionally streaks pure gold...*

Arbiter: The cheese... the pepperoni... the luscious crust... NOW YOU PAY!

*Arbiter, now done with a complete transformation into a "Super Saiyan", bum rushes the gigantic beast.*

Antestarr (spectating): Ooh... ow... OH! I didn't know that could bend that way... dear Lord! Somebody ate his wheaties this morning.

Miss Fire (slightly annoyed): You, cape-guy, you want some retribution, right? Well, come on then, let's get this over with. I've been wanting to whip some tail anyway.

Antestarr: Allright... fine, but since it's my retribution, we gotta use my weapons of choice.

*Antestarr reaches into his weapon cache and pulls out what looks like two lightsabers.*

Antestarr: What we have here are my patented "Lightfoils" (tm). They're lighter and used more for thrusting than a lighsaber. My choice for our fight.

*As Antestarr and Miss Fire move to tag in, Arbiter continues his frenzied assault on the legendary beast....*

------------------
~Antestarr
"Hey, Gebohq, if you're gonna quote me, at least do it right."

[Arbiter]

*Arbiter pulls back from the fight with the Y2K beast, and thinks to himself "Wait a sec, I have a BS detector!" Pulling out something that looks like a divining rod, he points the device toward the beast. The rod shakes insistently. "Ah, I knew it! Pure BS." Yessir, bullspit. The beast disappears with a wail.

Arbiter, laughing: That was no more than a thing made of hype and bullspit. A phantom. I wish i could fight someone.

*Arbiter looks at Antestarr and Miss Fire, walking toward the arena and wonders wehre Geb has disappeared to. Walking to the stands, Arbiter pulls on headphones and listens to his mix of music*

[Miss_Fire]

*talking as they walk down toward the arena area*

Miss Fire: Ooo! Lightbars (tm)! Did you come up with those yourself?

Antestarr: Yup! My own design.

Miss Fire: Ya know, I bet there would be a big market for those things! You could really make some good money!

Antestarr: They should be available to the public in a year or so.

*They reach the arena and the blades turn on with a swish*

Miss Fire (while flipping back to avoid a jab): No kidding? I know I'd buy one! Pretty lightweight! These would fit extra nice in my backpack! You ought to make matching belts to go with them -- and be sure not to forget us lefties!

*The blades clash multiple times, flashing a bright light*

Antestarr: What was the big idea getting those slimes to gang up on me anyway?

*Miss Fire swings her blade in a downward arc, where Antestarr blocks it just in time.*

Miss Fire: I didn't send them after you! (ducks as the blade whizzes over her head, then rolls to the side to swing) They were Galv's old leftovers -- they got out of hand, and the only thing they seemed to respond to was popcorn! Once they multiplied, it looked pretty grim for everyone in the arena (blocks a strike) so I threw the popcorn out. I didn't know they'd come after you!

Arb: Hey! We're still fighting here! You haven't tagged in yet!

Miss Fire: Oops! I guess We'll have to wait our turn!

*Both blades slip to nothing and Fire and Antestarr head back to the bleachers.*

Miss Fire: Hey! While we're over here...
*reaches into her backpack and pulls out a box of pizza and calls out to Arbiter* Hey! Since you missed that other box, you can have this! I was saving it for later, but I don't need it. If I get hungry, I'll order some more enchiladas. *holds up a buisness card with Enchilada Man printed on the front, then a phone number.

------------------
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

[Miss_Fire]

(ignore this post!)

[Gebohq]

*With all the exitement in the arena, Arbiter only noticed now that Gebohq appeared much like a drunk: not standing straight, eyes half-open, sluggish reflexes to Arbiter's attacks. But Gebohq was not drunk, for the only drink he had was a cup of coffee. Yes, only the caffine was keeping him moving at all.*

Arbiter: "What's wrong with you man? I'm not going to fight an enemy who's not fighting to his full potential. Go take a break-"

Gebohq: "No, that's...ok. I can..(mumble)..I have to keep...fighting.."

Arbiter: (walking to Gebohq)"Come on, I'll walk you to the bleachers. I need to take a break and eat my pizza anyway."

*Arbiter the proceeded to guide Geb over to teh bleachers, layed him down and got a nearby blanket to put over him. Geb mumbles a few more audible words and then falls fast asleep.*

Arbiter: "I should of figured this would happen. He has already fought a round with Rob X, he's probably been awake for 48 hours. Hey Antestarr! Miss Fire! Go have a blast."

*With that, Antestarr and Miss Fire take the new positions in the arena and duel with their lightfoils. Gebohq continues to sleep like a log, not even a massive explosion would wake him up.*

[RobX]

zzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ::huh::
RobX wakes up looks around
robx:"what the hell????"
RobX is startled but figures what the hell...
zzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ

------------------
Planet Gaming (http://planetgaming.tripod.com)
Bulildings burn, people die, but true love lasts forever

[Gebohq]

*While Antestarr and Miss Fire were dueling, Rob X and Gebohq were sleeping away...quite loudly.*

Guy: (to arbiter)"Can you do something to shut those two up?"

Arbiter: "Well let's see..."

*Arbiter nudges Rob X out of his sleep*

Arbi: "Stop snoring or I'll hit harder next time"

Rob X: "I wasn't...snor-zzzzzzz"

*Arbiter was about to hit him again, but the snoring died down before he struck. He then nudged Geb, who wouldn't wake up. Arbiter then rolled him over so he wasn't as loud. The fight went on.*

[Twin Suns]

After what seemed like weeks, Twin Suns wakes up under the bleachers.

He sits there looking at the empty bottle of corelian whiskey and the half-eaten box of twinkies, and he realizes that something must have happened, but he didn't know what the hell it was.

Getting up he looks out to the arena and sees two warriors dueling.

Twin: What the hell happened?

As he looks harder at the warriors he thinks they are evil Sith warriors. Suddenly angered by their presence he reaches into his bag and grabs two thermal detonators. In a dead sprint he races toward the arena and throws the therms with all his strength.

!!! Will this misunderstood attack destroy the 2 warriors having a casual duel? Or will someone smack Twin sober so that he can save them, tune in next post for the thrilling answer.



------------------
- Twin Suns

[Miss_Fire]

*Miss Fire and Antestarr are dueling, when suddenly Miss Fire yells out.*

Miss Fire: Look out behind you! There's a crazed maniac running this way!

Antestarr: Come on! What kind of idiot do you think would fall for a lame trick like...

*Twin Suns crashes into Antestarr. The crowd goes wild at the unexpected twist of a third person fighting in the arena. RobX and Gebohq continue sleeping.*

------------------
The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

[Gebohq]

*As Twin Suns and Antestarr get back up, the thermal detonators that were thrown up into teh air come back down into Antestarr's hands. Panic-striken that his life may end much shorter than he prefered, he tossed the therms to Miss Fire. She catches it as if it were on fire and throws them back to Twin Suns. All three continue playing hot potato with the therms until they realize their perfect solution, Morris the cat!*

*Morris the web-kitty strolls past them when Miss Fire rolls teh two therms in front of the cat. Morris takes immediate interest and bats them around, them promptly eats them whole. The crowd inhales deeply as to find out what is about to happen...3...2..1..a muffled explosion could be heard inside Morris's stomach as he comically inflated in size and decreased back to his normal state. Smoke came out of the cat's ears and then it gave a loud burp. Everyone laughed at Morris, who replied "What's so funny? Someone get some Pepto-Bismol."

*After the short episode with the therms, Antestarr stepped up to Twin Suns.*

Antestarr: "Your obviously still drunk, I'll walk you back to the bleachers-"

*Twin Suns pushed back Antestarr.*

Twin Suns: "I'm...sotally tober. Now getoverhere...and fight me! Or are you too chicken."

*Antestarr stared at Twin Suns all too much like Micheal J. Fox from "Back to the Future".*

Antestarr: "Nobody I mean NOBODY calls me chicken! You want a fight? I'll give you a fight!"

Miss Fire: "Cool off Antestarr, he's not talking straight."

Twin Suns: "You tell him you two-cent whore!"

Miss Fire: "OK, that's it. Let me help you out Antestarr."

*Gebohq and Rob X continue to sleep, even though fat Morris was sitting on Rob X asleep with them.*

[Antestarr]

*Miss Fire and Antestarr both move menacingly towards Twin, foils lit.*

Antestarr: Chicken... I'll show you what chicken looks like!

Miss Fire: And I'll give you my two cents too!

Twin: Wha...? I can taksh on all foura yas. Come on, whosa gonna come at me firsht?

Antestarr: The drunken sot's not even worth the use of my foil.

*Antestarr proceeds to turn off his foil and punch Twin in the stomach, causing him to release his innermost fluids. Continuing to take advantage of the drunk, he pushes him around and throws occasional punches, while blocking any pathetic attempt on the part of Twin to retaliate. Backed against the bleachers, Antestarr gives Miss Fire the opportunity to take a shot at Twin. She kicks him square in the chest, sending him directly into the sleeping Gebohq.*

Gebohq (startled and still not fully awake): Great Scott!!

Antestarr (moving towards the fallen Twin): And now, I shall give you something to remember me by.

*Antestarr lights up his foil and carves a capital "A" into the front of Twin's garment. Meanwhile, Miss Fire sees a perfect opportunity to strike her opponent while his guard is down...*

[RobX]

err...im still sleeping, more story to come.
in the meantime...
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Capsule/4316/morris1.jpg

------------------
Planet Gaming (http://planetgaming.tripod.com)
Bulildings burn, people die, but true love lasts forever

[Twin Suns]

(ignore this)

[This message has been edited by Twin Suns (edited January 15, 2000).]

[Twin Suns]

Suddenly aware of what was going on after being bruised and beaten, Twin gets up spitting blood.

Twin: What the hell were you thinking... and look and my cloak.. you ****ing burned my cloak... thats it...

Twin ignites his saber, and uses the force to calm his actions, and control himself

Twin: Now then, lets get this thing started for real

He runs to the arena and uses force jump to land directly to the side of the duel

Twin: This time it's personal

He advances

------------------
- Twin Suns

[Gebohq]

*Meanwhile, on the bridge of the Chimera...*

Thrawn: "...and I suppose it all had to do with my childhood. My mother would always keep telling me "You need to be cultured. The art museums will be good for you!". And now look at me! I'm obbesed with art! I think everything is related to it. I even have a shirt that says "Art is Life, everything else pales in comparision"."

Officer 1: "There there...it's good that your finally letting all of this out. Now what about your eyes. Do you have alergies? Is it pinkeye?"

*An imperial commando bursts into the scene, panting.*

Commando: "Grand Admiral Thrawn, have you been watching the fight? They've got three people in the arena now. Three! Isn't that exciting?"

Officer 1: "Uh-oh..."

*Thrawn immediately stands up, now filled with a new purpose.*

Thrawn: "Yes, this is what makes my life miserable. Not being able to take over or even destroy Earth because of this fight. Well no more! Send down the ground assult force-"

Commando: "Er...sir?"

Thrawn: "What is it?"

Commando: "Er...its about the ground forces. When we were sent out, we were never stocked with the Imperial walkers or even the At-ST's sir."

Thrawn: "Great, juuust great. You've got to tell me these things people! The big daddy needs his info, understand? Well, what do we have?"

Commando: "Rabbit walkers sir."

Thrawn: "Rabbit walkers. God, what will they think of next? Well, send them down."

Commando: "Yes sir."

*The rabbit walkers landed on Earth, headed towards the arena, equiped with beady eyes and big, pointy teeth.*

[JK [Meteor]]

Meteor, watching the TV, suddenly saw something. "OH NO, it's the new imperial RWs!!! (rabbit walkers) I have to warn them." So he used his thing and appeared at the seats of the arena.

Suddenly JK[m] stood up. Everyone stopped fighting and everyone stared at him, and the camera guys aimed the cameras at him, and everyone watching the tv stared at him. 'Oh no everyone in the universe is staring at me for me to say my speech.' thought jkm. So he said, "Stop staring at me, it's not against the rules to standup." And Ares and Arbiter and everyone gasped, even RobX in his sleep gasped. Everyone in the universe gasped!!!!!!!!! Then Twin Sun, Antesstar, and Miss_Fire started walking towards each other again, but JK said, "Some rabbit walkers are attacking!!!!" At that second the ground shook from a bite of the rabbit walkers!!!!!!

------------------
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Cottage/2769/JK/jksig.jpg
JK [Meteor] - "Maybe you like rainbows"
Credit for this sig goes to..... JK [Meteor]!!!!

[Twin Suns]

Twin: What in God's name.... Rabbit Walkers??? I have an idea.

Twin opens a dimensional gateway and teleports the cast from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" to the arena.

Twin: "Now this should be interesting."

------------------
- Twin Suns

[Miss_Fire]

The rabbit walkers filled the arena -- a truly intimidating sight. Half the people in the bleachers got up and ran in fear, screaming all the way out. The other half thought it was pretty cool and decided to stay and watch.
---
In the arena JK [Meteor], Twin Suns, Miss Fire, and Antesstar stood in the center of the circle of rabbit walkers.

Antesstar: Hmm...this complicates things a bit.

Miss Fire: *handing her light blade to Antesstar* These things are great for dueling, but I think I'd like something bigger for these things.

*Miss Fire takes her backpack off and rummages through it. Finaly, she finds a large gun.*

Miss Fire: This looks like it could do the job!

*She aims at one of the walkers and fires. The walker bursts into flames and falls. After another shot, it explodes into a giant fireball.*

Miss Fire: Oops! What am I thinking?! Sorry, guys...here ya go!

*Miss Fire reaches back into her pack and takes out 3 guns like the first and hands one to JK [Meteor], Twin Suns, and Antesstar. She then slips her backpack back on.

Miss Fire: have at it!
---
*Back at the bleachers, people are still running out of the arena, while the people left are cheering wildly. Gebohq notices that the announcer was among those that fled, so he climbs up and takes his seat. To the delight of the remaining veiwers, Gebohq sticks in the Duel of the Fates music and plays it over the loudspeakers. The crowd goes wild as the music plays and the people in the center of the arena continue to blow up robotic bunnies!

------------------
The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

[This message has been edited by Miss_Fire (edited January 19, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

Gebohq: "...and the destruction of these...rabbit walkers is just amazing ain't it?"

*Gebohq takes a sip of his coffee, the caffinee keeping him barely awake. Sitting next to him was none other than John Cleese. At the moment he was assuming the role of Sir Lancolot.*

Cleese: "Indeed chap. It's quite astounding how dangerous rabbits could...be....Geb?"

*Gebohq had fallen fast asleep in teh DJ booth once again. This irritated Mr. Cleese, and a plan was formulating in his head.*

Cleese: (in the mic)"And for our next piece of music good people, we will put on bagpipe players performing country music-"

*Gebohq snapped wide awake, as if jolted with a hot poker*

Gebohq: "I'm awake! The answer is 42! Er...I mean the next music we will be putting on is the CD "Darkside of the Moon" by Pink Floyd."

*A small "woohoo" could be heard from Antestarr. As the music began, the reader notices the chaos that ensues on the battlefield. Despite the progress Antestarr, JK, Fire and Twin suns had made, several rabbit walkers were still terrorizing the general populous of the audience in the bleachers. Among the few people fending them off were the cast of Monty Python.*

Sir Bellimore: "Maybe if we build a giant badger..."

King Arthur: "Oh shut up! Brother Manyard! Bring the holy hand grenade of Antioch!"

Manyard: "Thy shall count to-"

Arthur: "No time for that, just throw the damn thing!"

*Brother Manyard prceeds to throw the grenade. Unfortunatly, he forgot to pull out the pin, so the grenade uselessly hit one of the walkers on the head with a *bonk*. The rabbit walker turned around and leaped at Patsy.*

Arthur: "You will pay for that foul rabbit. Patsy will not die in vain-"

Patsy: "I'm not dead yet."

*Meanwhile, Arbiter looks upon the situation in the arena*

Arbiter: "No originality I tell you, not one bit of it. If I wasn't so evil, I'd so something about it..."

*Arbiter then proceeds to feed Morris the cat, humming to the "Meow mix" theme while doing so.*

[Twin Suns]

Blasting away at the remaining walkers, Twin glances at the Python crew.

Twin: Oohhh, the holy hand grenade of... He didn't pull the pin!!

Suddenly the walkers converge on the Pythons... and one accidentally steps on the grenade.

Author and knights: O ****, Run AWA...... as the grenade explodes destroying the walkers, and the crew.

Twin: the Empire will pay for such brutality. Miss Fire, Antestarr, I suggest you get to your ships, we're going to have some fun."

With that Twin runs to the Red Talon and powers it up.

As he exits the arena, his com crackles.

Fire: Twin, where exactly are we going?
Twin: To the nearest Imperial signal of course.

With that the enter orbit.

The engines stirred Gebohq and RobX, they open their eyes look around, and go back to sleep.

------------------
- Twin Suns

[Gebohq]

*Meanwhile, Morris the Cat finishes the food given to him and looks at Arbiter hungrily.*

Morris: "FEED ME SEYMOR! Errr...I mean Arbiter. I'll eat you!"

*Morris then started gnawing at Arbiter's leg, who looked at the cat indifferently.*

Arbiter: "Odd cat you are..."

[Aglar]

Reminds me......where did Ares go?

[Gebohq]

(Good question Anglar...)

*Ares continued to watch the many TV's in front of him, each showing a different view of the arena. Ares leaned back in his executive's chair, propping his feet up on his huge cider desk. Many papers were strewn about his office, each one offering some commercial tie-in deal with the fight of the century of the week that had been held in his arena. Once a simple place to erradicate all bad writers, Ares had now turned it into a multi-billion credit coorperation. Ares grinned as he watched the fighting, which he had long ago slipped quietly out of. The phone next to him rang, startling Ares at first, then grabbed the phone.*

Ares: "Hello, this is Ares, god of war speaking. What would you like?"

voice: "It's me again, CEO of Pay-per-view. We've been getting some requests for you to be put back into the fight."

Ares: "Look here. When i said I would broadcast the fights on your channels, I specifically said I would not be directly involved. Is that understood?"

voice: "And look here Mr. stick-up-his-ass, if the audience doesn't get what they want, your out of a job. Do I make myself clear?"

Ares: "(grumble)yeah yeah...get right too it."

*With that, Ares hung up the phone. He thought about how he would be able to get out of this new situation unnoticed.*

[Ares]

Ares realizes, 2 solutions to his problem.
He rediales, the guy that just called.
Ares: "FOOL! do you know who i am? I AM THE GOD OF WAR! NOONE talks to me like that!" with that ares sends a bolt of lightning through the phone line, promptly frying the CEO of HBO. He also makes a clone of himself to fight instead of him.

(Dont expect me to write a whole lot people. http://198.92.131.6/html/smile.gif )

------------------
Happy year 2000 everyone!

[Gebohq]

*With the ground forces neutralized, Twin Suns, Antestarr, and Miss Fire had launched off in their ships to take care of the Imperial Fleet. But when they reached into orbit, not a sign of teh fleet could be found.*

Antestarr: "Well, that was a waste of good fuel."

Twin: "Wonder where they went..."

--Back at the Imperial base--

Thrawn: "*munch munch* I can't miss teh Superbowl! Someone pass the chips."

--Back at the Arena--

*The three that were just in orbit land back in the arena, greeted by Ares' clone*

clone: "(monotone voice)Glad you are back. Let us fight to the death."

Miss Fire: (to Antestarr)"God, I hate clones. They're so boring."

*Twin Suns pokes at Ares, who looks at where he was poked like it was an intriguing sensation.*

Antestarr: "Where's a ysalimiri when you need one."

[Gebohq]

*Finally noticing that a story had existed on their forums, the administrators and moderators of the Massassi Temple arrived at the fight of the century...of the week. As the limos pulled up the entrance of the arena and the red carpet was rolled out, the crowd gathered to see the VIP's. The first to step out was Brian Lozier, to which the crowd oohed and ahhed at, camera flashes going off. Next was Nebula, followed by numerous others such as Threedee, Slug, and Speak wielding his mighty spork. JM at one point stepped onto the red carpet theatrically, saying "Ta-da! I'm here!". The audience grew silent as his arrival, crickets being heard in the background. JM snorted and continued walking. The limo drove away as the VIP's took their seats, surrounded by eager fans wanting autographs. As the fight was about to continue, a dark portal opened up and the evil-bad guy music was played as Justyn the thread killer entered the arena!*

*Justyn looked around the now shocked audience, moving and turning his cape all too many times, if not to just hear the noise of it flapping. After the initial shock, the crowd began to boo and hiss, as hte blinking sign above them too.*

Justyn: "Silence! Do you want me to kick you out?"

*The audience promptly quieted*

Justyn: "That's better. (heavy darth-vader like breathing) I have had my eye on this thread for a while now, and I have decided it is utterly useless, and therefore shall not exist anymore!"

--Will the fighters of the arena join to stop the obvious new bad-guy introduced to hopefully spice up teh story? Tune in next time to find out!--

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr and Justyn start eyeing each other.*

Antestarr: Justyn, eh? Never heard of ya'.

Justyn: Antestarr, eh? Never heard of ya'.

Antestarr: That's because I live in a warehouse, down by the asteroid belt! Hey!, if you never heard of me, how'd ya get my name?

Justyn: Uhh... er... umm... that guy told me! *points at Geb*

Antestarr: Mhm... sure... you've been reading ahead in the script, haven't you?

Justyn: Enough, let's get on with this.

*Western showdown music starts up. Suddenly, there's a cardboard cut-out town square with a clock tower that just reached twelve.*

Antestarr: Well, I reckon, this arena ain't big enough fer the both of us!

Justyn: Well, one of us'll have to be out of here then.

*Both gentlemen put on cowboy hats, put their backs to each other, draw pistols, and prepare to face off.*

Gebohq (now in bystander with bowler hat outfit): Alright, take ten paces, turn, and fire.

Miss Fire (in western damsel dress): Oh my!

*The two gentlemen take ten steps. Both use force speed to turn and fire quickly. Both bullets connect.*

Antestarr: Well, it seems you managed to knock the gun outta my hand, but I took your ear clean off!

Justyn: ENOUGH!

*Justyn heals his ear with the force and the cardboard backdrop disappears along with all the western outfits.*

Justyn: Now, we duel.

[Enchilada_Man]

*Enchilada Man runs in before they are able to fight.*

Enchilada Man: Hey! I heard there was a western party happening here. Am I late? Nobody here looks western! Say, who wants enchiladas?

*Everyone stares at him blankly.*

RobX: Shoot him.

*With that, RobX falls back asleep snoring loudly.*

Enchilada Man: Gee, you have a snoring problem, but I have something to fix that. REX! Come in here!

*Enchilada Man's faithful dewback comes bounding in the place with an enchilada cart strapped to his back. Enchilada Man starts going through the cart, when all of a sudden, a blaster shot just misses his ear!*

Enchilada Man: HEY! ...Do that again!

*The whole place is filled with blaster shots, and the enchilada salesman pulls out his big burrito blaster with bean burrito bullets and starts spraying everyone with beans, cheeze, and hot sauce. He doesn't aim for Miss Fire, though, because she is a good friend of his with a frequent buyer coupon.*

*Anyhew, he jumps on Rex's back, and they head for the Taco Grande. They enter the ship, and blast off to his hideout.*

Justyn: Weird. Oh well, where were we? (reading the last post over) ... knocked ear off ... ear back on ... scene dissapears ... original outfits back ... ah! here we are- "Now, we duel." 'K then. Have at it, Antestarr!

[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited February 13, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

*Someplace far far away...in Glen Burnie, Lightstaff sits in a Lay-Z-Boy chair, equipt with oxygen tank and pills. Little kids scampered at his feet, tugging at his wrinkles and such. Then one of the kids looked at him with big puppy dog eyes and said "Grandpa Lightstaff, why did you leave the Neverending Story Thread?"

Lightstaff: "Becasue it was boring. Now scat before I whip my cane out."

annoying kid#2: "How did it all start grandpa?"

Lightstaff: *sigh*Earth was threatened by a comet which never existed in hte first place..but it did...I think I'm going above your heads here. Anyway, I went and started what perhaps made the Interactive story board in teh first place by taking my ship and landing it on the comet. A lot of wierd stuff happened, we found out the comet was in fact a sheme of Thrawn's to take over teh Earth, a bunch of writers joined in with some wierd things to say, the french tried to launch nukes at it, but they couldn't build missles worth crap, and then Ares made his arena and challanged all bad writers to fight him. Administrators grew sick of seeing such useless posts taking up space and made a board specifically for useless posts such as these. Ares then started the fight of teh century of the week, new people joined in the fun, old people such as myself left, and now the administrators have discovered that this still exists, including teh powerful thread killer Justyn, so now all teh people in this story are at risk of being deleted!"

*All teh little kids stared at him dumbfoundedly. Lightstaff sighed once again.*

Lightstaff: "Kids...they don't understand anything. Go watch teh fight and keep grampy posted, will ya? Where's Snyderman when you need him to get rid of annoying kids...*sigh*"

[Gebohq]

*Meanwhile, in the bleachers, Ares' clone reads off the ridiculously gargantuan roll call of everyone in the story. It wasn't helping that his monotone voice had put nearly everyone to sleep.*

Ares' clone: (sounding all too much like Ben Stein)" ...Ping_Me? Ping_Me.."

Ping_Me: "Present...zz.."

clone: "...Ping-....Rob X...Rob X...Rob X.."

Rob X: "Not here"

clone: "Rob...Bullier....Builler....has anyone seen Ferris Builler?"

*All that was heard was the occasional chirp of a cricket.*

[Semievil333]

Semievil conjures himself up from the depths of tribes and everquest, back into a strange, different jediknight from the one he left.
Twisting his neck out of it's unnatural position he rears to his full hieght(a rare occurance) with bone-snapping noises.
Finding himself before a great arena, he arms himself(and extensive process) compleately before entering.
As he enters the inner gates, he works his repeater methodically over the 20-some guards that attempt to bar him from the field, before deciding simply to reach back into everquest one last time........
A massive ice comet slams the arena instantly killing all audience members and combatants within, as Sem steps onto the field he notices to his great joy that he has just utterly obliterated Raven's stadium in Baltimore.
Sem, unable to resist the urge to quote untold, long-forgotten movies: "I was kinda like a one man force 'ay, like, like Charelton Heston, in, in Omega man, did you see it? It's beauty"
Sem exits the game, and changes levels, entering the real arena.
Sem is tempted to use annother ice-commet, but realizes that kind of power must not come to jediknight, as he surveys the scene, picking through the giant mettalic rabbit ears, he conjures and summons misc. items from the original JK cogs, leaving behind a trail of max-head raildet charges he leaps to the stands, and contemplates what has happened here......

[Semievil333]

Having finished his survey of the arena Sem pulls himself out, streaching at all his joints, and pulling the skin tight over his skeleton at the arms, which is rather heavy-set and impressive, however the musculature leaves something to be desired.....
Muttering on how rude the combatants are not to notice the new arrival, he procedes to gather up the max-head explosives, and place them strategically on the scorched bunny hulks, that Miss Fire was so courtious to just leave lieing around.
After having cleared the vaguely bunny shaped shrapnel that the explosions left he steps up to the clone of Ares and replaces the roll-call list with Webster's New American Dictionary, so that he will not run low on reading material. Drawing his lightsaber he dons a black cape, and begins to make rude gestures at the combatants, hoping to draw one of them to notice his presence.

[Gebohq]

*Semievil stands between the audience and the arena, moonign everyone in the line of sight.*

Audience member: "Hey...can you move out of the way? I'm trying to watch here."

Semievil: "Neeeerg..."

*Sem stretches out his hand, gripping it as if choking someone who wasn't there. He was in fact using the Force to choke the person who chose to verbally dismiss him. At the sight of a gruesome death, sevreal audience members turn their heads at the new arrival*

Semievil: "Ahh...that's better."

Audience member #2: "Ohhh... Never seen an Everquestian."

Audience member #3: "Tribesman. Must be hard adjusting to this place, with no jetpack and all."

Semievil: "Yes, the change has been rough. And it isn't any easier that I'm so far behind technologically with JediKnight that even my supremem skills can not compare with the new people of today. Oh well, time to visit up on some friends of mine..."

*Sem strolls over to Gebohq, who is pointing the deactivated lightsaber handle right in his face, examining it. Sem begins to talk.*

Semievil: "We meet agin."

Gebohq: "Ahh! You scared me there."

Semievil: "Surprised you didn't kill..idiot. Anyway, up for a battle?"

Gebohq: "But you don't even have SPORK!"

Semievil: "(grumble)Well REAL jedi don't need mods. What do you say?"

Gebohq: "Sure, but I know you too well to fight you with anything but netraul force powers. You agree to that?"

Semievil: "Fine fine."

Gebohq "Ok then. Hm...gonna be a tad crowded in the arena, and it looks like there's a waiting list already."

Semievil: "Waiting list?"

Gebohq: "I know. What has the world come to?"

*Meanwhile...*

Ares' clone: "Catastrophe. Noun. It means..."

Arbiter: "That guy is REALLY getting on my nerves...and hey! It's semievil! Wonder if he's related to Dr. Evil. Need to talk to him about the evil world leader organization's next meeting..."

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr and Justyn stop dueling for a moment to stare at the new spectacle.*

Justyn (blinks): Wha...? Ok, wait a minute! How can there be a waiting list for fights if I'm sitting here facing off against some newbie from a warehouse just outside the solar system and half the audience/contenders are asleep?!

Antestarr: Yeah! I think it's about time to have a slight rule change!

*Antestarr raises his hand and several cirlces form on the ground. Each circle is about 4 feet in diameter.*

Antestarr: Ok. Two people to a circle. You get one saber and one dagger. You have to face off using only these as weapons and defense and remaining within your circle. Remember, don't stop until your opponent has fallen! Now, pair off.

*Sem and the drowsy Gebohq take stances in one circle. Two by two the other members take places in circles. All that are left are the Ares clone and RobX. The clone drags Rob to a circle, where Rob just falls into the clone's arms and continues to snore away.*

Morris: Hey, what about me?

Antestarr: Uhh.... you can face off against... this... uh... Trashcan!

Morris: Gee, I feel so honored. *WHARF*

Antestarr: Eeew... hairball.

*Now paired off, the several duels begin. Nobody seeming to take the upper hand, Morris decides to interfere...*

------------------
~Antestarr
"I hate Spring, probably because I never find anyone to fall for."

[JASRCC_Uber0010]

And than I giant meteor came out of no where, and blew everyone into oblivion like the dinosaurs...

THE END

[Semievil333]

I don't like that ending-I know I'm trying not to reach too much into tribes/eq, but here I just can't let it happen!!!!!

Sem casts the spell "mesmerize" on JASRCC_Uber0010, and stepping up behind him locks his arm around JASRCC_Uber0010's neck, snapping finger bones into the apropriate joints and creating a vice-like choker hold.

Using the other arm, Sem dons his beloved jet-pack, leaps 20 feet skywards, and begins to hover. As JASRCC_Uber0010 slowly comes around he finds himself dangling above the very jaws of death, that's right, about to be swallowed whole by Morris!!!
(note to all: ignore this, I just don't like punks who want to end this kind of thread in 1 single-line post)JASRCC_Uber0010 drops to his doom......

[Semievil333]

ok, so back to the story....

Semievil: "Geb, you really think you can beat me?"
Gebohq: "Of course! With no grip your just as weak as anyone else, even Morris!!!!"

Semievil opens the duel with a swift smite from the heel of his shoe delivered to Gebohq's face, stunning him momentarily. Gebohq retaliates as Sem bows for his adoring fans (the ones with the no-doz in the back row) by landing his dagger in Sem's knee. Sem reels back in pain, stumbling on the edge of the circle, then dives past Geb, and is quickly put in the classic evil-man gloating pose, with geb's saber at his throat.

Gebohq: "hahaha now you see the true power of being the person to restart a post, but you will never know how it ends....." he drones on in a rediculously long bwahahaha speech, and Morris finally decides to take offense at Geb's remark.

Morris: "hey clone-person, yeah, the god-lookin guy, gimme that dictionary"

Gebohq: "and now Semievil, you finally see the error of your ways."

Gebohq finishes the last words just as 17 and 1/2 pounds of english vocabulary slam down upon his head.

Sem nudges Geb, and realizing that he is unconsious, takes an overly boastful bow for his sleeping spectators.

Morris: "hmm damnit, I want something better to fight."

Semievil: "hey I got an idea! how about Bernard the cyber-pidgion!!!!"

Semievil holds up a tin-and-wood model of a vaugely pidionish bird with no paint.

Morris shoots Sem an evil look.

Morris: "don't start"

Semievil now having his duel momentarily post-poned goes in search of a suitable sparring partner for Morris.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited March 02, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

*As Gebohq peel 17 1/2 pounds of english language off of his face, Gebohq finds that Sem has left their personal circle of death to find someone else to fight. And Geb thought to himself "It was just cleaned too!". Geb spots Morris the cat, desperate for someone to duel with. Or maybe he was just hungry...again. Geb lowers himself and rubs his fingers together to get the cat's attention*.

Geb: "Heeere kitty-kitty-kitty..."

Morris: "Don't insult me like that. I'll open a can of whoop-ass on you, you tart!"

Geb: "Tart? That's a new one..."

*Gebohq activates his lightsaber and thrusts it at Morris the cat. Morris simply lurches foreward, opening his mouth way too much to look realistic, and swallows the saber whole.*

Geb: "Hey! Gimme back my saber. Bad cat! No cookie for you."

*Gebohq starts to punch at the cat to no avail. The protective fat was too much to injure the immense cat.*

Morris: "Mwahahaha, you can not win now. You're useless without your saber."

Geb: "A jedi always has a weapon."

Morris: "The Force? Please!"

Geb: "Not quite..."

*Gebohq pulls out from his pocket a water spritzer, aims it at Morris, and applies more than a gentle mist at Morris. Disgusted by the water, Morris dashes out of the ring and Gebohq wins the battle.*

*Meanwhile, even more people join in for blood-filled fun...*

------------------
"...life got complicated. Well I can't wait to see this through."
(Third Eye Blind)

-&gt;Gebohq&lt;-

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited March 02, 2000).]

[Semievil333]

Having by now totally disregarded the 4 foot circle, Sem, after seeing morris streak past, leaps from the concession stand(where he maintains he was conducting inquries of enchilada man's employees as to nothing but morris's next match).
Dagger drawn he pierces the water spritzer, leaving Gebohq without ammo, and running into Ares' clone as he tries to stop.
Feeling obligated, he gives the clone a Jehova's witness flier to read, and turns to square off with Gebohq.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[TheOtter]

*hearing there was a fight somewhere involving some of his friends TheOtter decided to check it out, as he steps outside of his souped-up 1974 Volkswagen Beetle w/Saturn V rocket boosters. he gets out, he is wearing black jeans, 'rage' t-shirt, black trenchcoat, combat boots, black bowler, and a mysterious black medic's bag slung over his shoulder. breathing in the pure human anger effervessing in the air, he thinks......."where are my keys?"
TheOtter: "son of a *****!"

[Gebohq]

Geb: "Uh-oh. Sem is coming after me with a knife and I have...a broken water spritzer. *turns where Morris fled towards* Heeeere Morris-Morris-Morris. Gebby's got a big steak dinner for you..."

*Gebohq finds Morris the cat sleeping. Being completely silent, Gebohq creeped up to Morris, then quickly grabbed him.*

Geb: "Gotcha!"

Morris: "Meow!!!"*scrathes Geb's face up*

Geb: "Ow...now time to use the heimliech maneuver."

*Gebohq uses the maneuver on Morris until, after bringing up several 18-wheelers, an airport, what was left of the annoying guy that Sem disposed of, and a small country, Geb's lightsaber propeeled out and hit Justyn on the back of the head."

Geb: "Damn, I'm in serious s--- now."

------------------
"...life got complicated. Well I can't wait to see this through."
(Third Eye Blind)

-&gt;Gebohq&lt;-

[TheOtter]

*As TheOtter watches on he decides to have some fun*

TheOtter:"Aw, screw the keys I'll get them later, I'm gonna get in the action!"

*So he reaches into his medic's bag and pulls out two flint-lock dueling rifles .....and robbed the local 7-11*

7-11 Employee (w/ thick Indian accent):"Mister Otter! the fight is on the LEFT SIDE! THE LEFT SIDE! not the right! are you going to pay for those?"

TheOtter:"Uh...hey! look over there! its Vishnu!"

*The employee hastily turns around, while TheOtter runs out of the 7-11 toward the RIGHT SIDE of the street w/ his pockets full of "CowTails"*

[JK [Meteor]]

Then JK gets mad since his post about ..,... Well his second post on this thread got deleted, so he kicks down the skyscraper that everyone built to watch the fight. Then he says, '******, did you delete my post?? My post was Ultimate!!'

[Semievil333]

Geb: "hmm, my saber is 1/2 digested, I've ticked off the thread killer, and from the looks of my water-spritzer Sem can use that knife pretty well.....I may profit from a time-out here."
He goes to the official board and requests a time out, only to find it has been taken from Antestarr's capable supervision and given to old DMV employees.
Geb:"yes I would like to request an official 2 minute time-out, and an undigested saber please."
official:"ok, now you'll need forms:
4682
4568
4927
6851
and 7308, documented proof of identity in 5 states, 2 photo ID's, and an instructor's certificate for the 39-hour drug-and-alcohol class and the 199 fun, and non-violent things to do with a lightsaber course."
Geb:"But, I.....uh...lost my ID."
official:"well then you'll need forms:
825
1009
and 632, fill them out and then come back."(handing gebohq a rediculously large set of papers, and the drug-and-alcohol sing-along video)
Sem, realizing this could take a while goes back to enchilada man's taco stand and sits down in the stands to eat.....

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited March 08, 2000).]

[TheOtter]

*After eating all of those 'Cowtails', TheOtter is finally reday to take on some action, but no one is available...*
TheOtter:"aw, man! this blows! i get here and now theres no one to fight!"
*so Otter sits down a second to reflect and think who else he can fight, bu then he gets annoyed by the repeated requests of Enchilada Man to, 'pull his finger' so he takes out his dueling flint-locks once again and blows a huge hole in the side of Enchilada Man's cart*
TheOtter:"Leave me alone or i'll sick the INS on you!"
*w/ this threat Enchilada Man scutters off w/ his injured cart muttering to himself, something about 'gringos'and 'revolution', i think*



------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."

[Semievil333]

Semievil notices the rode-err otter attacking the cart.
Sem:"hey, that guy nixed the food!"
The spectators arouse from thier slumber suddenly and march on the otter, a riot begins to rage, and the otter is forced up into a tree.
Sem, noticing the cow-tail wrappers:"hey, this guy ripped off that 7-11!"
the spectators begin chanting for the tree to be cut down, and Sem goes to get his saber.
The Otter:"no, I...I can explain....wait....Free cowtails for everyone!!!!!"
realizing too late that he just finished the last one, the otter begins to stammer as the angry audience drags him back to the 7-11 and makes him rip it off again......

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Semievil333]

Ares' clone, still in rediculously monotone voice:"Repent now, for the wrath of the Lord is upon you this very day....."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Deathbane27]

*Some drunk stumbles in and immediately gets struck by lightning*

[TheOtter]

Angry Mob:"...and don't come back out until you've got more Cowtails!"

*Otter stumbles up and dusts himself off, steps up to the 7-11 employee and says,*

TheOtter http://205.229.72.73/html/frown.gif19th cent. english child accent)"...I'd like some more please..."

*then realizing that Sundeep is still asleep he just decides to claim the 7-11 as his fort stronghold, but to give the rest of the Cowtails to the angry mob*

TheOtter:"I declare this ,Fort Xanthan!"

*w/ that he raised a black flag w/ a giant red 'X' on it. and then released the Cowtails to the crowd off of the roof*

TheOtter:"Hey, all contenders are allowed into my treehous...err...'fort', except of course Justyn..."



------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Semievil333]

&lt;in regard to deathbane's post&gt;
Sem:"ok, now the way I see it if we want to kick the DMV guys outta the officials positions, we needs a sign"
Antestarr(aside from his duel):"what kind of a sign"
Sem:"a sign from the Lord"
(it begins to rain)
Antestarr:"there's your sign"
Sem:"ain't no sign, jus some rain"
(thunder and lightnin start up)
Ares' clone(still in monotone voice):"It is a sign of the Lord that we have been spared, oh the wondrous power of God"
Sem:"ain't no sign, jus the storm"
(drunkard walks in and gets struck by lightning)
Sem:"now that....could be a sign....."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[RobX]

* RobX wakes up, looks around, and realizes what has transpired.

RobX: Eh, without Ares here, theres not enough competition for me.

Morris: Let me stay a little longer, but the next person to touch me gets a "suprise" in their food.

* RobX goes back to sleep for another fifty posts.

[Semievil333]

Sem, shouting:Morris!! RobX is goin down! We need caffine in here pronto!!(ohh that's a fun word-"pronto")
Morris rushes on scene with a comical cartoon stretcher, and loads RobX, giving him a makeshift IV of an inverted 2 lieter of coke and a garden hose.
Ares' clone(continual mono-tone): "Behold ye sinners. The wrath of the Lord shall spare none, for the powers of darkness now close on you, and you must be cleansed."
Sem notices some of the audience has started to convert, and decides to change the literature again, this time opting for the lyrics to "Oklahoma"
Ares' clone(in a sing-song voice, barely an improvement over the mono-tone):"There's a bright golden haze on the medow.....There's a bright golden haze on the medow.....The corn is as high as an elaphant's eye, and it seems to be climbing right up to the sky......OH!! What a beautiful morning!...."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[TheOtter]

*then all of a sudden TheOtter realized who in actuality Ares' clone was, Al Gore!
TheOtter:"mmm...i want him to go away but how?"
*!*
TheOtter:"i know! (to Al Gore) 'hey Al, is that Bill Bradley over there?" (pointing away from the arena)

Al Gore http://205.229.72.73/html/frown.gifin robotic voice of course)"ugh? mmmm.....must...debate!"(starts to walk in a Frankenstein-like manner away from the arena)


------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Semievil333]

Sem shrinks away from the otter, hoping not be be within the blast radius when Ares finds out the otter has turned his clone into a politician.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Antestarr]

*It was then that Lucasarts' unofficial mascot entered the arena to represent this area as an official Lucasarts spoof. He was accompanied by his partner.*

Max: Is "Pronto" a real word, Sam?

Sam: Beats me little buddy.

Max: So where are we? This doesn't look like the Lincoln Tunnel.

Sam: Looks to me like a marginally volitile political/competitive fighting situation.

Max: Ooo, does this mean we get to kick some puffy white politician butt?

Sam: Can't think of a reason not to. Sic 'em up, little buddy.

*Max immediately pounces on Al Gore and begins to pummel him. Various sounds of pain are heard from that direction, and the Massassites look around to make sure that the lawyers aren't on their way to turn that little reference into a lawsuit.*

------------------
~Antestarr
"I'm a unique individual, just like everybody else."

[TheOtter]

*meanwhile, in the 7-1 err...Fort Xanthan TheOtter surveys the interior and finds a small teley and turns it on*

TheOtter:"damn, only infomercials! hey! wait a minute!"

*Otter stares at the screen while the infomercial, 'Amazing Innovations' showcases something familiar...*

Mike(host):"well tony, what do you have for us today?"

Tony(British 'pitch guy'):"well mike, i've got this amazing new product called the...'LightFoil'"

*audience oooohs and aaaaahs*

Mike:"Oh, i don't know tony. Whatever it does it looks awfully complicated..."

Tony:"well mike, it isn't hard at all! it slices apples, oranges, onions, tomatoes, cornish hens, you name it!"

Mike:"anything?"

Tony:"anything, even watermelons!"

*demonstrates, everyone gasps then claps*

Tony:"not only will it slice,improve your sex live, give you more hair on your head, and do drycleaning it can also prevent cancer!"

Mike:"oh i don't know tony. i mean REALLY."

Tony:"trust me mike! iam a professional!"

Otter (to himself):"At what?"

Mike:"WOW! i guess it is true then! what are you going to sell it to the consumers for?"

Tony:"$65.95!"

*audience boos and shakes heads*

Mike:"gee tony, looks like you're gonna have to do better than that!"

Tony:"ok then, $49.95!"

*audience still boos and shakes heads*

Mike:"come on tony! give us a better deal!"

Tony:"ok than mike, but your gonna put me out of business....$45.95 w/ a FREE Rhinestone studder that comes w/ supply of 200 rhinestones and metal studs!"

*audience roars onstage w/ money clenched in their hands and in the process kill Mike (unfortunaetly not Tony)*

teley:"thats a scene from our new special 'When Studio Audiences Attack...V'!"

Otter:"hmmm....did they have the rights or did Antestarr sell them? or did he rip off Tony?"

*Otter leans head out window and yells towards Antestarr*

Otter:"hey, i didn't know they could cure cancer..."

------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Semievil333]

Tony, back @ infomercial studio:".....and if you order in the next 10 minutes we'll also include the Morris the cat, Bernard the pidgeon, and Bo the alligator action figures!!!"
Angry Arena spectators: "Bo? what's Bo? I don't think we've had a "Bo" yet."
Suddenly Bo crashes into the studio, devours Tony, and several random nearby mimes.
Arena spectaors: "OOOIEEE!!CARNAGE!!!(RSV)tm"
Bo, speaking with a badly-faked southern accent: "Daggown virmin, always gittin inta things, and now them new-fangled action figgures...shazbot..."
Bo makes his way out of the studio, and heads for the Arena.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

*Since the arena was already packed with people like a crazed rock concert party, nobody noticed Bo the alligator stroll in. Well, not until he at a hotdog man and several cameramen. Sam and Max took notice of the alligator. They figured the best way to stop the new threat would be a good dose of overkill with one of the rabbit walkers pushed aside. A Max mine was attached to it.*

Max: "Umm...what's my head doing over there?"

Sam: "That's no head Max, that's one ugly looking time bomb. Let's dispose of it someplace where no one will get hurt."

Max: "How about in the arena Sam?"

Sam: "Sounds good to me."

*Max carelessly throws the bomb towards the arena. Several seconds later, the bomb went off. Max and Sam climbed into the Rabbit Walker.*

Max: "Mind if I drive Sam?"

Sam: "Only if I get to claw at the dashboard and scream like a cheerleader."

*Meanwhile...*

Gebohq: "Ow! What the hell? I thought Max was over...oh S***!!!! *tosses it immediately in front of him. It ends up exploding right in front of Justyn's face.*

Gebohq: "This just isn't my day..."

------------------
"...life got complicated. Well I can't wait to see this through."
(Third Eye Blind)

-&gt;Gebohq&lt;-

[TheOtter]

TheOtter(seeing the bomb blow up in Justyn's face):"ooooh....that would be a bad thing..."

*all of a sudden Otter hears screams coming from the bleachers, Bo is devouring the audience now*

Otter:"nobody devours paying customers on my shift!"

*Otter whips out of his medic's bag a 4ft. long Gothic-style sword called a Huskarl, and lunges at Bo, while screaming 'daddy needs a new pair of shoes!'*

Semievil:"uhhh....i don't think its going to be as easy as you thought Otter. Bo is a ragin' cajun!"

Bo:"i guarentee!"

Otter:"shut up you!"

*the tough skin on top of Bo is preventing Otter from piercing him, so he decides just to 'clobbering' him instead of 'cobblering' him(eh, eh! get it? cuz you see a 'cobbler' is someone who makes shoes and 'clobber' means to...

*just then Semievil jumps in...*

Semievil:"here let me give an example!"

*and proceeds to beat up the narrator*

Annoying Narrator:"help me, help me! im being repressed!"

*Otter still trying to think of a way to kill Bo...*

Otter:"hey! before this he ate the drunken camerman! so its safe to say that his belly is filled liquor!"

*Otter stands back and opens up his fists, which both form two softball sized flames ,and throws them both into Bo's mouth*

Bo:"blimey..."
~BOOM~
*crowd cheers as Bo's guts are falling from the sky onto them*

Otter:"...must..get..more...nourishment!"

Antestarr(to Gebohq):"he does mean booze right?"

Gebohq:"yep."

*Otter grabs 3 bottles of straight vodka and stumbles toward his 7-11*

------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr scratches his head.*

Antestarr: So, exactly how did they manage to build a 7-11 in a volcanic arena again?

Gebohq: Don't ask.

Antestarr: Ok then...

*One of the menacingly cute AT-MTT Walker (All Terrain Multiplication Table Transport AKA Rabbit Walker) that was thought to be destroyed approaches the crowd gathered contemplating why they fight, how this all began, and how in the world a 7-11 appeared out of nowhere. Max's head pops out of the hatch of the AT-MTT Walker.*

Max: ROAWWR!
Sam: Max! Get back in here! You're not a wookie! Besides I'm about to shoot the 7-11.
Max: But gratuitous acts of senseless violence are MY forte!
Sam: Fine, you can push the button.

*Max approaches the firing console of the AT-MTT Walker. What will happen next? Will Sam and Max destroy the 7-11? If so, will the Otter escape unharmed? Will anybody figure out exactly what's going on? Will I ever shut up? These, and many other questions will probably never be answered, but we'll see what happens next post, same NeS time, same NeS forum!*

------------------
~Antestarr
"See the gun, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck. See the gun, let it lie, you'll want that gun before you die!"
-KMFDM

[Gebohq]

Antestarr: Wha-? Another rabbit walker?

Gebohq: What do you think they got their Imperial name from? Leave one standing, and they multiply like hell.

*TheOtter stood on top of the 7-11 store, not very straight by all means. His goatee was unkept and smelled of liquor. The stench was all over him, and it was quite obvious how drunk he was as he pointed his finger at the rabbit walker, liek he could talk it down. This was as bad as when Twin Suns was drunk, if not worse.*

TheOtter: Whatcha lookin' at, ya big gopher! You-sha just geet over har and try gettun' me off of mah preshious store!

Max: Did you hear that Sam? He called me a gopher! I'm shooting that 7-11 sky-high!

*Laser fire emitted from the rabbit walker and diretly in the center of the 7-11. TheOtter flew Superman style as the store exploded, quite like a drunken Tom Cruise from the train scene in Mission: Impossible. TheOtter landed right in front of Semievil, still mourning over the death of his precious Bo. Some might say the scene was reminisient of the rancor owner's mourning in Return of the Jedi, but what do they know?

Semi: How...how you could kill poor Bo? He only wanted to eat audience members! Well, I will taunt you for doing such a thing!

Otter: er...taunt?

Semi: yes! (starts with a very obvious french accent) Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Take that English pig! (sticks out his tongue and hits head with hands).

Otter: My mother isn't a hamster!

Meanwhile, away from their quarreling...

Geb: Hmm..I was thinking about something before that 7-11 episode? *turns to see very angry Justyn* Oh right. Time to run!

*Geb runs for his life as Justyn is keeping up, screaming "I'll ban you! Slowly and painfully too when I get my hands on you!.*

Will Geb live the nearly inevitable wrath of Justyn? Will the feud between TheOtter and Semi turn violent? Will Benard the Pigeon make an apperance? Is there anything I forgot to put in this post? Who knows. Not me anyways, so stick around. Maybe something interesting will happen soon (now THERE'S a laugh!)

------------------
"...life got complicated. Well I can't wait to see this through."
(Third Eye Blind)

-&gt;Gebohq&lt;-

[Semievil333]

------Yes geb, one thing you did forget.
Back at the Otter vs. Sem scene......

Sem is now wielding a smallish object that looks somewhat like Bernard, only it has a rubber-duckie toy attachment.
Sem: "I Make noises like angary ducks, brandishing Squakie-Toiz et yur NASE!!"
Geb, translating:"He's squeaking the ducky at your nose, Otter."
Sem squezes the duck attachment violently
Sem: "Silence you ninny! And as for you! You lowly aquatic rodent you!!! You deserve the most sever reprimand! Impeachment!! Exile!!!"
Sem throws Bernard at The Otter, with a good deal of dramatics, but it lands anticlimactically at Otter's feet. He the procedes over to where it has fallen, picks it up, and begins beating The Otter over the head, with the duck attachment making satisfying squaks on every impact.
The Otter: "No!...wait....I.....err...ouch!.. that....hey!"
Suddenly the Indian 7-11 owner shows up, at first he joins in with Sem, then he notices the ducky.....
7-11 guy: "Hey! You have not paid for this from my store!"
Sem: "I didn't get it from your store! I didn't even know you sold these! It just dropped from the sky with the other misc. debris, when Sam&Max blew up your shop!"
7-11 guy: "I do not care. How am I to stay open like this? My shop has been destroyed. This arena has been disrespectful to me all along. And now they steal from my duckies!"
The 7-11 guy then proceeds to beat up on Sem, brandishing the ducky, and part of the Big-Gulp sign.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[TheOtter]

*Otter crawls away from the dueling Sem and Hindi guy to seek sanctuary*

Otter (grumbling):"awww, now im gonna have to find another hide out, but where?"

*Otter wanders around the arena looking for niche to run back to and makes a detour to the men's room*

Otter(@ the urinal):"OH, YEH! that hits the spot!"

*Otter then sees the HUGE 'Out of Order' sign hung over the urinal*

Otter:"son of a *****...uhhhh, mie! (flushes urinal anyway)"

*just then a panel above him from the ceiling falls down, and from that comes down a light*

Otter:"quá?"

*decides to investigate...*

Otter:"hey! so this is where the janitor hid all of his porn! Yes, PORN...piles on top of piles of the smutty stuff, and its all MINE!!

¤insert appropiate evil laugh.....&lt;here&gt;¤

*Otter is in the old janitor's room of the arena ,which is also the highest floor and is about big enough to fit 2 VW bugs*

-2 Hours Later-

*in the mean time Otter robbed an IKEA and a Radio Shack to obtain his necessities for..."The Crow's Nest"* (catchy, eh?)

Otter:"OK, i've got a Ping Pong table, a futon, a teley, a small frig, subwoofer speakers(hehehe...), and a turntable."

*flops down on futon and puts on "Requirem" on the turntable, which max-volume speakers are pointed outside*




------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Lord_Crud]

&lt; Enter Lord Crud&gt;

Looks around at the untapped organ factories, and..
Bwuahahahahahahahahaaaa...

&lt;Walks up to Semi and Otter and offers them the forms to donate their organs to their local ah, charity, in the tragic event of their death.&gt;

&lt;Exit Lord Crud, temporarily&gt;

[This message has been edited by Lord_Crud (edited March 21, 2000).]

[Semievil333]

&lt;Meaning of Life "Just Remember" number&gt;
Right...... Can we have your liver then?

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Semievil333]

Sem slowly begins to collapse under the relentless assault of the duck-wielding 7-11 manager, just as Geb, still fleeing justyn streaks past.....
Sem, calling upon his tome of Everquestual information, comes to a realization.
Sem: "Wait a second.....Justyn must be a shadowknight! ..... Hey Geb, come back, hide behind the duck-wielder will you?"
Justyn approaches, now clad in bloody steel-plate armor, and wielding a rather menacing halberd.
Sem acting fast puts a Gebohq mask on the 7-11 guy
Justyn: "I have you now you pithy dueler!"
the 7-11 manager writhes in the grip of agony!
the 7-11 manager has been slain by Justyn!
Sem: "AHA!! now you have used your harm touch, you are feeble! verant has NERFED YOUR CLASS!!!"
Justyn: "what... noo... ak! it's true!"
Justyn drops his halberd and attempts to run, only to be fallen upon by hundreds of duck-wielding massasites.....

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Lord_Crud]

Duckfoot Stew!

[Antestarr]

*Justyn, running from the crazed duck-wielding weirdos, suddenly stopped and realized "Hey! I'm an ultra-powerful board god! I can stop them in their tracks!" Unfortunately for him, the moment in which he stopped to think was all the time it took for duck-wielders to reach him and begin to pummel him.*

Justyn: Ow! Ooh! Oof! GOD F*#@@#&%#@*#!#%*#$%&#*$#$%&*# (and so on and so forth). HEY! THAT'S FOUL LANGUAGE!

*Justyn pulls out a stick of Ban antipersperant and thrusts it at himself. He realizes all too late that he is now banning himself from the thread. As his body fades out like a jedi, he continues with his stream of obscenities. The threat of Justyn the Thread Killer was no more.*

Antestarr: Well, doesn't that beat all... Now where did that Otter fellow go... since he arrived things just started getting weird.....

------------------
~Antestarr
"He'd say 'Son, there ain't nothin more excitin than exposin beasts to inhumanity!'"

"King of the Creatures",
sung by Conroy Bumpus
In "Sam and Max Hit the Road"

[Semievil333]

Sem, gathers the mutalated remains of the 7-11 guy and justyn, and cremates them with a stormtrooper rifle. He then builds a memorial to the thread killer, sprinkling the ashes on it, and crowns it with a lone yellow ducky.
Then he picks up the halberd, which has been modified by it's time in the arena to a light-halberd, and heads off to finish his duel with Gebohq.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

Geb: *phew* Don't have to worry about Justyn anymore. *takes notice of Sem approching him* Whoops, spoke too soon. Time to do what I do oh-so-well: being a sissy.

*Geb started running with much exxageration in swinging his arms and such, making his way into the all-out war between the rubber duckies and the massassians. In the mist of battle, Geb could hear someone singing "Rubber duckie, he's my friend...", which semed to fit all too well. While weaving in and out of the unruly feud, the head of a large rubber duckie popped up right in front of Geb, making him almost soiling his pants.*

Geb: Oh man! I need to find the little boy's room!

*With that, Geb makes his way to the bathroom to "drain the lizard". As he finishes his business, he notices a hole in the ceiling. Unfamiliar music and strage lights eminated from the hole, but what caught Geb's interest was a dangling porno magazine. As Geb force jumped through the hole, he saw the magnificent "Crow's Nest" and spotted theOtter, who was next to an immense pile of porn. Geb's eyes widened in horror as he saw--

--This part has been edited due to teh fact that nobody really wants to know what happened here. Now back to our regularly scheduled NeS--

*Geb stared out the window from the Crow's Nest, seeing the carnage below in the arena. The Otter walked up to him, garbed much like the king of the swamplands in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

Otter: You should be proud Geb. One day, you will own this fine bacholor's pad.

Geb: But I don't WANT the bacholor pad. All I want to do is...is fight.

Otter: ah-ah! None of that "fighting" here.

Geb: But Otter--

Otter: Now see here, this bacholor pad is the strongest pad in these here parts of the arena. The first one I made sank into the lava. The second one...sank into the lava. The THIRD ONE...it burned down, crumbled, THEN sank into the lav. But the FOURTH ONE stayed. And that's what you'll get: the strongest pad supported by porn.

Geb: Well, that is an obvious advantage there...

*Meanwhile, back in the arena...*

Sem: *In mist of battlegrounds* Now where did Geb go..OW! Stupid duckies. Hey, you! Yeah, Arbi, you. Have you seen Geb.

Arbiter: Hey there son.

Sem: Er..I'm not your son.

Arbi: Come over here and give your evil dad a hug. Don't look at me like I'm some frikkin' Frankenstein. Come over here.

Sem: Get away from me! *runs in opposite direction, bumps into Ares' clone, wielding a rubber duckie and reciting Hamlet* Ack! *runs away from both of them, bumps into Sam and Max*

Sam: Hey, me and my buddy Max here are gonna have to ask you a few questions regarding--

Sem: NURGH! *is now surrounded by Arbi, Ares' clone and Sam&Max* eh-heh...eh. Juuust great.

Will SemiEvil be able to escape? Will Geb ever fight? Will- *Sem precedes to bash the narrator senselessly* Tu-une eihn nehxt time folk, same NeS time *whack* same NeS forum*falls on ground*

------------------
"...life got complicated. Well I can't wait to see this through."
(Third Eye Blind)

-&gt;Gebohq&lt;-

[Semievil333]

Sem: "hmmm this could be difficult.... I mean, I haven't used a halberd in 47 EQ years...."
the duck wielding circle encroaches on his personal bubble
Sem: "heh...ger....yeagh....Wait I know!"
Sem hands a copy of "How to Build a 20'x4'x20' Percussion Instrument." to Ares' clone, and flips on the blade of the halberd, turning his back to the now occupied clone.....
What happens next is not clear, but several minutes later 4 sliced ducks, 1 pound of rabbit guts, and a shread of Arbiter's skin lay in a rough circle around him......
The only confirmed kill however was Max.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[ST_Clan_Leader]

*ST_Clan_Leader appears in mid air, in fact a little high and falls 6' in to a pile of rabbit guts*
"Hey i thought this was the Main Editing Forum!" *notices the stuff he fell in* "Man too bad about the dog" He looks around, He's in what looks like an old volcano with lava around it and the remains of Rubber duckies, dead Massassians, Rabbit walkers, and a 7-11 that has been Slightly destroyed . "hmm. looks like sombody has an overactive imagination" just then he he sees Sam coming his way with a duckie club. "or is this a bad Dr. WHO episode?"

[Gebohq]

*Semievil casually walks away from his previous fight in search of Gebohq. As he lifts his head up though, he sees an enraged Sam standing before him. Sam does not resemble the comical mercinary dog/cop we've known to love, but instead looks like something out of a horror movie.*

Sam: Max is dead! You shall pay!

Sem: You speak like caveman, ugh ugh!

*Sem then casually pushes aside the bloodthirsty Sam and sees a partially wire-framed Arbiter. His hair shinning gold and his eyes glowing green, Arbiter draws out his piercing blue lightsaber, preparing to fight Semievil. The two start to have a half-hour talk that is classic to any Dragonball Z episode, where then Ares's clone steps into the picture, just to make things interesting.*

Sem: Why does this look familiar?

*Sem draws his halberd out, preparing to fight once again. Meanwhile, out in the darkness of space above the arena, the Chimera hovers once again, commanded by a refreshed G.A. Thrawn*

Thrawn: Send down the troops! The TIE's! Aww what the hell, just send it all down!

*While all this is going on, Gebohq and theOtter discover a deadly secret while enjoying the luxeries of the "Crow's Nest"*

Otter: Hey Geb, what do you suppose this thing does?

*TheOtter points at a large flashing red button that says "DO NOT PUSH".*

Geb: Beats me.

Otter: Should we find out?

Geb: Sure.

*TheOtter's finger dramatically starts to slowly head for the button. Back in the arena, the Imperial troops have landed, causing havoc and such, with laser fire everywhere.*

Antestarr: I don't think I can keep this up much longer.

MissFire: Neither can I...

*The reader's attention goes back to Sem, who is having a very nicely looking coreographed fight with Sam, Arbi, and the clone. The camera switches again to theOtter's finger reaching for the button, then to the troops, then to the finger, then to Sem's fight, then to RobX sleeping, then to the finger, then the camera switches are so fast we can't even tell what they're trying to show, but the last things we see is Sem dying, Thrawn laughing, Antestarr and MissFire making out, and then the finger pushing the button down. There is an inordinante amount of silence and inaction as we see Geb and theOtter simply stand there.*

Geb: Hmm. Guess it wa sjust decoration.

*Suddenly, the entire arena turns red, and a loud computer voice is heard saying "Closing! Closing!"

Geb: Whoops, spoke too soon.

*The camera quickly goes black for quite some time. Then, simple white letters spell out "Thread Closed" across the screen. The End.*

*Meanwhile, in the Interactive story board offices, Geb the thread writer turns in the post you now have seen to the editor. After having read it himself, the editor looks up to Geb.*

Editor: So you've ended the Neverending story?

Geb: Yeup *snicker* I have. *breaks out laughing* APRIL FOOL'S! Hahahaha...you thought I ended it! Man, what a laugh.

Editor: Er...it wasn't that funny. Go back now and write some real posts.

*Geb the writer heads back to his cubicle, laughing his head off.*

------------------
"...life got complicated. Well I can't wait to see this through."
(Third Eye Blind)

-&gt;Gebohq&lt;-

[Gebohq]

*Gebohq wanders around with a lampshade on his head.*

Geb: Where is everyone?

Did everyone leave and Gebohq was left alone untold? Is the lampshade simply keeping him from seeing everyone? Isn't this the most pointless post you've ever seen? Well write then, and you won't have to see things like this! Being a narrator reaches new lows every day.

------------------
"...life got complicated. Well I can't wait to see this through."
(Third Eye Blind)

-&gt;Gebohq&lt;-

[TheOtter]

*TheOtter looks strangely @ the dancing Geb*

Otter:"hey, did you eat those Twinkies that were on the turntable?"

Geb(confused, then remembers):" oh yeh, they were good! (grins like an idiot)

Otter(shakes head):"i've been saving those, you know if you keep a Twinkie in its wrapping for 7 years it becomes toxic."

Geb(licking fingers then stops, and looks up):"uhh, how long have you been keeping them?"

Otter:"Apparently long enough to enduce hallucinations..." (rolls eyes)

Geb(reads label on the wrapper):"...it says here 6 years and 364 days"

Otter:"yeh, that will do it."

------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Gebohq]

*Semievil suddenly bursts into the "Crow's Nest", looking straight at Geb.*

Sem: We have unfinished business

Geb: Well this sucks big juicy *** .

Otter: That was needlessly descriptive.

[Semievil333]

Sem, finally taking note of his surroundings, is horribly offened.
Sem:"AEUGH!! Virgin eyes! You sick bastards!! I was an innocent youth!!! I have been corrupted!!!!"
He runs off clawing madly at his eyes.
Geb:"Bull*@#$!! Sem you faker get your arse back in here, I'm not falling for the seqcharges again."
Sem, stepping around the mines, back into the room:"ehh heck... was worth a shot..."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Lord_Crud]

&lt;On the twinkies: did you know that somebody a few years ago was judged not guilty when he murdered somebody cause he was "temporarily insane" afer he ate a twinkie? just thought you might be able to use that after eating the (almost) 7 year old twinkies, Geb&gt;

[This message has not been edited by anybody (not edited March 10, 2001).]

[Gebohq]

*Semievil stands before Gebohq and theOtter, having failed in making Geb fall for the ol' "Virgin eyes, walk into prox mines" trick.*

Sem: Now come here and fight like a man. Er...on second thought, don't try too hard. I'd like to win.

*Semievil had no reason to say such things though, as Gebohq was still "temporarily insane".*

Geb: Oh I'll show you! Lemme just gedout mah- rubber duckie, and...and..

*Gebohq was stumbling towards the window that overlooked the arena, and not looking, promptly fell out. After falling to teh ground, Geb got up and brushed himself off, as if nothing had happened, and made his way to Rob X, and promptly killed him. A line of people watched the horrific event, and each of the following made their cry heard.*

Ping: NOOOOO!!!!
Morris: NOOOO!!!!
Ares' clone: Argh.
random R2 unit: BEE-BOO-BEEP!

*Semievil and theOtter had just reached Gebohq in time to witness the event also, and Sem turned to Otter.*

Sem: Where did that little droid come from?

Otter: Got me. But look! Our lovable pal Gonk is here too!

:::GUEST STAR!!!:::
/////GONK!/////

Gonk: Gonk, gonk-gonk.

Geb: Ah shush-up.

*Gebohq made his way to slash his saber at Gonk.*

Will Geb kill Gonk in an act of "temporary insanity"? Will Hostess be sued for letting twinkies get into the wrong hands? Will-

random guy: hey! shut up!

NO! I'm tired of being pushed around! Nobody loves me! You can't fire me, because I quit!

Antestarr: Will our not quite-so-lovable narrator leave for good? Will every post always have to end with a cliffhangar and questions to be answered? Will...

[TheOtter]

TheOtter:"Im not gonna let you kill Gonk!"

*Otter pushes Geb away from Gonk, and approaches Gonk*

Otter:"No fair, i never get to kill any characters!"

*Otter snaps the fingers on both of his hands and "Vulcan's Flames" appeared @ their tips. he spun them in an outward direction toward Gonk and they coiled out into balls of flame that quickly melted Gonk down to a pool of metal*

Antestarr:"that wasn't nice..."

Otter:"wanna help me hunt down and 'maim' the Sun Twins?"

Antestarr:"Sure!"


------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Semievil333]

Sem finally decides just to do away with this whole business once and for all.
Sem, at the official's table:"yes I need a pocket-sized fusion generator."
Official:"well young man, you'll need forms 1582, 1584, and 1589, certification of in-state residence, and a quantam physics safety certification."
Sem produces the required items, and recives a bluish-glowing cylander marked "energizer"
he then runs back to the crow's nest and stats looking through the otter's things.
comming to the closet, he flips through 2 pairs of black-leather pants, a black leather thong, and a few of the otter's prized volumes, and finally comes to a pink-velvet bunny suit.
returning to gonk2m4, he strapps the narrator to the top with some leather bonds he found in the crow's nest, and pop's out gonk2m4's duracell battery. replacing it with the energizer fusion thingie, he clads gonk2m4 in the bunny suit, and ZOOOOOM!!!!!
at a rate of 587 "gonk"'s per second the little guy shoots off, gone out of the arena forever....... we think.


&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;The events in this post have been altered to concern Gonk2m4, which was reconstructed by the crew of star-trek from the molten puddle of Gonk left behind by the wet rat, in order to restore the space-time continum

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited April 15, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

Geb: Uh-oh

Antestarr: What da ya mean "Uh-oh"?

Geb: Don't you just realized what's happened? The inevitable CONFLICTING POSTS PHENOMEONON just rolled on by. Gonk is dead AND he's speeding away in a bunny suit. *turning to Sem*Where the hell did you find that bunny suit anyway?

Sem: *With a grin on his face*In theOtter's closet.

Otter: (in austin powers voice)It's not mine, I swear!

*Sem pulls out a video tape cover that looks like the cover for "A Christmas Story", but it says "A Neverending Story" instead. theOtter is wearing a pink bunny suit, with Semievil, Gebohq on either side. Other notable characters are in the background.*

Otter: It's a forgery! They're trying to frame me man!

Antestarr: Sorry to stop your wonderful conversation, but shouldn't it of not exist in the first place?

Geb: (looking at his chrono)3..2..1..

*At that moment, the crew of Star Trek: the Next Generation steps in, tricorders in their hands*

Picard: Captain's Log stardate 12345678.9. We have landed on an M class planet that is experiencing a rare disturbance in space-time...

*Also at this moment, it has been discovered that nearly all the writers have been replaced with newer ones, so to fit the theme...*

The Neverending Story: the Next Generation! Featuring an all new cast: theOtter, Semievil, Antestarr, and an old member, Geb!

Sem: Oh boy. This is gonna be fun. Can't wait for the Star Wars vs. Star Trek debates to start showing up now. Better prepare myself for the savage fans.

[Semievil333]

anticipating the 19-21 savage fan base to be entirely female......
Sem spritzes some breath freashener into his mouth....

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited April 13, 2000).]

[MaybeChild]

Suddenly, a short girl wanders in.

MaybeChild: Um, is it just me, or did I just see a pink bunny suit go flying by?

Antestarr: It's just you.

Geb: Be nice. Yeah, you did, problem was that the dude in that bunny suit was supposed to be dead!

Sem *noticing Maybe's helpless, confused look* : Geb, you're confusing the poor thing even more. *another spritz of breath freshener* ....

------------------
"It will all work out in the end." "How will it?" "I don't know, it's a mystery." ~Shakespeare in Love

[Gebohq]

*As Sem spritz some breath-freshener in his mouth, Maybechild backs away instinctivly*

Maybechild: Eeeeeah, that's OK.

Sem: What do you-oh. OH! HAhahaha..you thought, with me doing, hahahaa...that wasn't for you! You're not what I'm after. Rather, I await the young madiens coming my way.

Maybechild: That's a relief...I think. I don't know whether to take that in a good way or a bad way.

*What Semievil didn't know was that the 19-21 year old fanbase of Star Trek and Star Wars had not a single female in it, at least not any that were recognizably female. The mass of fans that came were rather all single (and with good reason) males: all overweight, unshowered from staying on the Internet, and wearing costumes or shirts saying "I love Star Trek" or "I love Star Wars".*

*Sem's eyes grew wide as he saw the grand army of nerds heading his way. He would have to do something about this situation quickly.*

[Semievil333]

Sem, relizing his mistake too late, is forced to act quickly.... so he must logically therefore..... RUN AWAY!!!!!
Lowering his shoulder, a sheer mass of solid bone, he lunges forward, and somewhat to the left, knocking 4 fans out of the way, and slamming annother to the ground. The short time this spectacular retreat has brought him gives him time to formulate a plan. Using the force he leaps the remaining distance to the official's table, fills out the required forms (4568, 1586, 1278, 2384a, 2384e, and 5002) and is granted 2 smallish axes, 2 bucklers, and a high power sound system.
Donning and activating the appropriate gear, a sudden blast of battle music sounds, with a distinctive celtic ring. Letting forth a blood-curdling roar, and working himself into a berzerker fenzy, he leaps down from the table and begins to tear through the crowd....
And then suddenly, the space-time tear repaired, the crowds of fans disappear, the star trek crew vanishes, and sem is left spinning in wild circles, hacking deeply into anything that ventures near, including the duck atop the memorial built to the thread killer, which now lies in 3 pieces, eternally relived of it's squeak....

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

MaybeChild: Ohh, the mysterious disapearance of a crowd of unruly fans. The death of Rob X. Looks like a mystery needing a solution.

Gebohq: What are you talking about? I killed Rob X in "temporary insanity" and the crowd disappeared because they never existed.

Maybechild: Shhhh...don't let the audience know that! It's my evil way of slipping Scooby-Doo references in here now.

Antestarr: Uh-oh...

*The arena takes on a old cartoon look to it. Maybechild looks very similar to Thelma, Miss Fire looks like Daffony, Antestarr looks like Freddy, and Gebohq looks like Shaggy. Naturally, theOtter takes on the role of Scooby-Doo.*

Geb: Boy, I've suddenly got a craving for food.

[Semievil333]

Sem, having slipped away unnoticed, is now to be found in the crow's nest, once again tearing through the otter's wardrobe....
Sem: "Aha! this it it... what I've been looking for! it's perfect!"
moments later a 1/2 Sam, 1/2 Max creature, with a bright green super-natural aura, graced the scene out in the arena, the very picture of the classic Scooby-Doo Monster.....

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[MaybeChild]

Meanwhile, the kids are still standing at the scene of the mystery, looking pensive.
Antestarr: Well, gang, looks like we need to split up & look for clues. Geb, go with Maybe and the Otter, and Miss Fire & I will--(he got cut off)
Geb: Hey, how come you get to go with Miss Fire?
Maybe: (whacks Geb in the back of the head) Because you're going w/ me, dummy. (*echoes of "I'm the dummy, Micky, I'm always the dummy" are heard in Maybe's head--she shuts them up) Just don't tell a certain knight from the realm I came from.
*suddenly, an ungodly roar is heard as a frightening, hunched over green thing lumbers in*
Geb: ZOINKS!!!
Maybe: Jinkies!
Miss Fire: Jeepers!
Antestarr: I've got a plan!
The Otter: (whispering to Antestarr) You're not supposed to have a plan yet, not for another 20 minutes...
Antestarr: Damn. Ok, then, RUN!!!
*mad chasing scene, w/ "Recipie for My Love" from the Mr. Hyde episode playing. the entire group runs in mad circles around the place the layout of which MC does not know.*
Maybe: Gebby, I lost my glasses! help me find them!
Geb: uh, Maybe, you weren't wearing glasses.
Maybe: Jinkies! You mean that I've been missing my glasses all this time? Someone must have stolen them! Another mystery! *the otter whacks MC in the back of the head* ah, thanks, Otter, I needed that. Nevermind that glasses crap, temporary idiocy...

------------------
"It will all work out in the end." "How will it?" "I don't know, it's a mystery." ~Shakespeare in Love

[Antestarr]

*Amidst the running/dancing going on amongst the group, the twisted designers of this tread decide to throw in another obscure reference from somewhere that manages to break yet another copyright. Raistlin Majere appears from the shadows of the bleachers, garbed in his classic red robes, his mottled metallic yellow skin glistening in the firelight, and his narrow golden eyes peering over the actions with his creepy hourglass shaped pupils contracting narrowly. (was that run-on enough?)*

Raistlin: Hmm... now how'd I get here... I knew that I disappeared from Krynn, but what is this place? *Coughs, and wipes blood from mouth* I need to fix up one of my herbal mixtures... that burning hulk of funeral pyre looks like a good place!

*Raistlin moves over to the funeral pyre of the great thread killer and prepares his herbal drink to soothe his coughing. A disgusting smell wafts over to the motley crew.*

TheOtter: Ruh-roh! Rats rot rinner!

*As Raistlin gulps down his mixture, his coughing subsides and he contemplates his next move. It is then that he senses the aura of Galv, and, mistaking it for the aura of a giant red dragon, dashes for cover to plan an attack spell.*

Antestarr: Can I have a plan yet?
Gang: NO!
Antestarr: Ok, how about we find out what the mystery is, then?

*After a quick rest from running around the arena, the gang decides to go on and try to figure out why there would be a monster terrorizing the arena.*

[Gebohq]

*While Antestarr, Miss Fire, and MaybeChild search the arena for clues to the new mystery, Gebby and theOtter begin a search of their own: to find what food they can.*

Gebby: Man, am I starvin'!
Otter: Mre roo!
Gebby: hey, whadda you know? A whole fridge of unguarded food, and all for us!

*Gebby and Otter start stacking meats, cheeses, lettuce, tomato, and a number of things not normally found on a sandwich, and squished it all between 2 slices of bread. Licking their lips, they were about to take their first bite when the monster they were looking for stood right behind them. They turned their heads, and then looked at each other, shaking.*

Gebby: Is that wha-wha-what I think it is Otter?
Otter: Ruh-huh.
Gebby: I think this would eb a good time to GET OUTTA HERE! AHHH!!

*Gebby and theOtter throw their sandwiches on the monster and began to run for it. After a few moments of being distracted, the monster grunted and ran after them.*

*Meanwhile, Antestarr is jumping up and down as the other two are looking for clues.*

Antestarr: I got a plan though! Can't I use it now?
MissFire: Oh fine, go ahead. What is it?
Antestarr: Well, as in all Scooby-Doo episodes, the monster is always around the people who don't want to see them, in this case it being Gebby and Otter. And we know they went to the "Crow's nest" to get food, as they always do. Soon enough, they'll be running out, monster on their tail. So I think we should place banna peels by the entrance, then place a gurny in front of those. The gurny will carry our monster to a lava pit, where as he's falling, can land in the net below.
MaybeChild: Sounds a little elaborate. Why can't we just grab the guy as he's coming out?
Antestarr: That's just not how it's done, ok? Let's do it guys!

*As Gebby, Otter, and the monster exit the Crow's Nest, all three fall into the trap, and all three get caught in the net. After some untangling, and tying up the monster, MaybeChild takes off its mask. They all gasp.*

Everyone: Old man Sem!

*Antestarr flips through the previous posts*

Antestarr: Wait, I thought Sem created the mosnter. How could he BE the monster?
MaybeChild: Quie simple. Sometime during the confusion, Sem killed the monster, skinned it, and put it on himself. Using the fear that came with the monster, he was hoping that we'd never find the jewels that he was after.
MissFire: Jewels? Since when was there any of those in the arena?
MaybeChild: When the scriptwriters wrote it in.
MissFire: Oh.
MaybeChild: And he almost got away with it too.
Sem: Yes, I would of gotten away with it if it weren't for you medling kids. And that Otter too!
Gebby: Wait, what about RobX's death? I thought this whole thing was all about that?
MaybeChild: You said yourself you killed him.
Gebby: Bu-bu, oh nevermind! Ack! It's the monster!
MissFire: No silly, that's just Otter putting on the mask.

*Everyone, including Sem, laughed at hte situation. Just then, all the lava from the lava pits shot up, and Raistlin stood before them.*

Rastlin: Mwahahahaha! I will destroy the red ragon, wherever he is! Even if I have to drown this entire arena in molten rock!

Geb: Well that's not a nice thing to do.

[Semievil333]

Sem, unamused by the lava Raistlin is dripping on the cosume bids him stop.

Raistlin:"You pithy little skeleton, bugger off then!"

Sem, having had 2 rather large sandwiches tossed on him, slipped on a bananna peel, been tossed over a pit of lava is in no mood for this......
Letting out a mighty roar, and again lowering his massive, sheer-bone shoulder, he rushes Raistlin who absorbs the blow like a jello mold, and colapses unconsious on the ground, where sem quickly ties him down using fibers from the bananna peels.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Lord_Crud]

That was rude.
&lt;notices Gebohq never took the lampshade off&gt;

[MaybeChild]

The fibers, being from bannana peels, are somewhat slippery, so Sem is having a hard time trying to tie them. Deciding to be "nice", Raistlin offers to lend a hand.
Sem: (not thinking) That would be helpful, thanx.
Raistlin: Well see, you take this one over, then under, and loop this around here (fiddling w/ the fibers, getting them off of himself and onto Sem) and then this end goes through there, and pull this one and there ya go. (stands up, over Sem who is now laying tied up in hopelessly tangled fibers on the ground.)
Sem: (looking at himself perplexedly and squirming a bit) Hey! Wait a minute! No fair!

Raistlin stands there laughing, while the others who have been standing obliviously by singing and having a little be-in begin to notice the trouble Sem is in.

Sem: I'm gonna need little help from my friends...
Geb: (high on you-know-what) What's wrong, Sem? (goes back to singing) "Mari-juana, mari-juana, juana juana, mari mari..."
Sem: DANG IT, YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT'S WRONG! YOU IDIOT!
Otter: Now Sem, that's not very nice. Here, take a hit, it'll make you feel better.

As Sem shakes his head, beginning to think he's doomed, and Raistlin starts to reach for a lightsaber on the ground (because some careless person forgot to take care of their delicate weapon), MC approaches, taking off strand after strand of love beads.

MaybeChild: (singing) beads, flowers, freedom, happiness; beads, flowers, freedom, happiness (she starts to wrap the beads around Raistlin, who looks over his shoulder, confused) beads, flowers, freedom, happiness...
Gebohq: (also singing) Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare (he starts walking around Raistlin with a long, long daisy chain, creating the same effect as a dog tethered to a tree that keeps running around and around the tree) love, love, love, love, drop-out, drop-out, drop-out, drop-out, be-in, be-in, be-in, be-in, love, love, love, love...
Antestarr: (sticking a stick of incense in Raistlin's mouth and lighting it) take trips, get high, laugh, joke and goodbye... There we go, a new incense holder (grins)
MaybeChild: Groovy idea, Ante! Come on, Sem, join the be-in!
Sem: I would if I wasn't TIED UP!
MaybeChild: Okay, well don't get excited man, it's cos I'm short, I know... (silently thanks Davy Jones) Here. (attempts to untie the knots in the bannana peel fibers) Hmm. This is bloody tangled, ya know that? (grabs the incense out of Raistlin's mouth, holds lit end up to fibers) This should work.
Otter: *sniff, sniff* Uh, do you smell something like singed hair? *sniff, sniff* Uh, Maybe...
Sem: (jumping 10 feet straight up in the air) YEEEEOWWWW!!!! MY ARMS!!!
Maybe: Oops...

------------------
"Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!" ~Hair

[ST_Clan_Leader]

ST_Clan_Leader, after wiping off Max Guts, sits down on a 7/11 sign. Suddenly he spots a fat Cat coming towards him.

Clan: Here, kitty! kitty! kitty!

Morris: stuff it foo!

Clan: Hey a cat that talks!

Morris: Hey a human that states the obvious!

Clan: *picks up Kit-Kat from ground* Share a Kit-kat with ya?

Morris: no dammit gimme it all *smacks the bar out of Clan's hand and eats it wrapper and all*

continued

[Semievil333]

Noticing the thick cloud of smoke has expanded to fill a rediculous area, Sem takes a deep breath and Duct-tapes(yes Duct-tape IS a proper noun)his mouth and nose shut. Gathering himself together, and examining the damage to his arms, he surveys the new scene.
Then he spots Raistlin again. Emmitting a low rumble(for it is difficult to roar with a Duct-taped mouth) he rushes Raistlin again. This time Raistlin is not to be caught unprepared for the assault however, and sem is neatly parried away. Sem however is not to be so easily denied vengence for being reffered to as a mere "pithy skeleton", and seeing this to be so Raistlin makes a wise retreat away from the high-speed love beads that maybe is throwing around, not to mention the heavy cloud of happy air, so as not to be distracted during combat.....
Sem meanwhile goes out of his frenzy just long enough to arm himself.(an extensive process involving the destruction of the officials table, and the eventual granting to sem of an iron war maul.)This much accomplished, he works himself back into a frenzy, and goes off to hun.... err find the offensive Raistlin...

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Antestarr]

*Raistlin, now prepared for the battle about to ensue, thinks quickly as to what he will do. He watches as Sem arms himself across the arena from his location.*

Raistlin (yelling across the arena): Heh. If you're going to try to be an evil pithy skeleton, you should at least do the evil part right. Now, watch and learn.

*Raistling holds his arms up to the sky and utters a few words that fall from his mouth like feathers from a pillow that had just smacked a man on the head. The "happy cloud" lifted into the air and began to rumble. A large lightning bolt fell from the cloud, ran through Sem's iron war maul, and caused him to start convulsing where he stood. After recovering, his charred black body was covered in smoke and several strands of bone were sticking straight up on top of his head.*

Raistlin: There! Now you know how to be evil. Now where did that dragon go...

*Sem, seeing this as an opportunity, rushes back to the official's table (magically fully refreshed) and grabs a six foot pike. He then proceeds to mount Galv and readies himself for a dragoon style assault.*

[This message has been edited by Antestarr (edited April 21, 2000).]

[Semievil333]

(Sem mutters a curse at the story writers for giving him this flimsy little sharpened stick as a weapon)
Sem snaps the pike into 2 and 4 foot parts, leaving him with a shortened spear and a smallish staff...
Sem, dismounting, and still fuming(both from anger and lightnin'):"Get back here fool!! I ain' done with your lava-dripping arse..."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[MaybeChild]

Maybe, having watched the entire scene wondering just how BAD that brown acid must have been cos she could have SWORN that Raistlin was still tied up w/ love beads and daisy chains, decides that it's time to make a little money off of this fight that's going on. She starts a betting pool, putting money herself on Sem. Meanwhile, Sem and Raistlin are facing off, neither one willing to give the other any quarter. Out of the blue, The Ride of the Valkyries from Wagner's The Ring of the Niebelung (sp?) starts playing...

------------------
"Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!" ~Hair

[Semievil333]

Sem, quite angered now, as the lava has now permanently stained the costume, and he still hasn't landed any blows, closes on Raistlin.
Raistlin: "go away, you long-past relic of necromancy."
Sem lands a swift blow with the staff.
Raistlin: "uogh"
Raistlin lets forth with a lighning bolt.
Sem responds to the sudden voltage with a burst of fury, landing a swift blow with his foot, and slipping the spear into Raistlin's side.
Raistlin: "eugh"
Sem grunts with satisfaction, and Raistlin lands a swift fist in Sem's jaw, but before he can retract it Sem locks the offending appendage into his elbow joint, and claps it shut, using a few of his finger bones as pins and bolts.
Raistlin: "eek!"
Raistlin attempts a retreat to recover, but finds himself hindered severly by 190 pounds of solid bone.
Raistlin grunts solidly, and finally apologizes, and agrees to replace the costume.
Sem colapses into a disheveled pile of bones.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[MaybeChild]

Sem: Ouch...

MaybeChild, seeing her pal Sem go down, hurries over after collecting her $$$. On the way, she realizes that she still looks too much like Thelma, even after donning her love beads for the be-in. Stopping for a moment, with Sem still lying in a heap of bones, she snaps her fingers, instantly changing back to her more slender self in perfectly-worn bluejeans, embroidered gauzy shirt, and loads of jewelry. Beginning once again to walk towards Sem, she let out her copious amount of red hair.
MaybeChild: Sem, duder, you okay?
Sem: (rather grumbly) Yeh, sure, of course I am. Just need to sleep for about 5 years, then I'll be in fighting condition again...
Maybe: Aw come on, man, you kicked @$$! Ya put the fear of God in that guy.
Sem: I'd rather put the fear of ME in him...
Maybe: Eh, close enough. At least take the bleedin' Duck (yes it is Duck, ask Ms Mezz) tape off your mouth... *grabs edge of duck tape that remains on Sem's nose and cheeks*
Sem: OOWOWWWWWWWW!!!
Maybe: oops...
Sem: *whimper* Why you always hurt me...?

------------------
"Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!" ~Hair

[Antestarr]

*Meanwhile, still sitting on the ground in an.. uh... influenced state, Antestarr pulls out his cell phone, dials up one of his friends, and starts talking in a surfer accent.*

Antestarr: Yo, man!
Voice: Wazzup?
Antestarr: Man, you need to listen to this.

*Antestarr proceeds to take his shoe off and beat himself in the head with it.*

Voice: Woah, what was that?
Antestarr: My skull! Dude, man, I'm so freakin' wasted...
Otter (to self): Hmm... somebody watches a few too many movies for his own good.

*Antestarr then walks over to a new bar that has popped up in the arena as magically as the 7-11 had so many posts ago.*

Bartender: Can I help you?
Antestarr: A vodka tonic and a beer.

*As the bartender turns around to prepare the drinks, a well endowed woman approaches Antestarr.*

Antestarr: You know what? I'd like a bottle of your finest Champagne.
Otter: Uh-oh... here we go again...

[TheOtter]

*Otter runs into bar after Antestarr*

Otter(panting):"Did someone say 'vodka'?

*Antestarr still quite buzzed takes the buxom woman's breasts and holds them in his hands while singing, "I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts*

Otter:"uh...bartender! yeah, could i have a pint?"

bartender:"sure."

*Otter takes Ante's hands off the uh........ ...mammary glands?*

Otter(to Ante):"uh, why don't you uh...play with this bowl of beernuts!"

Ante:"oKaY!.."

*Ante tosses the beernuts wildly into the air while having the bowl land on top of his head*

Otter(watching):"ooh boy...(to bartender)can i also have about 3 Tequilas?"

bartender:"shots?"

Otter:"uh, no. bottles."

*bartender laughs and starts to get the shotglasses*

Otter:"DON'T F*CK W/ ME MAN!"

*Otter lifts up bartender by collar of his shirt, both simoustaniouly turn their heads in time to see Ante launching beernuts out of his nose*

Ante(huge grin on face):"tHaT oNe HiT tHe WaLl!"

Otter(drops bartender on floor):"reeaally...did it really?(rolls eyes)"

*glares @ bartender*

bartender:"oh right, right!"

*bartender starts to take all the liquor items of all of the shelves*

Otter:"...and put them in this bag..."(points to his black satchel)

*bartender looks @ how small the satchel is*

Otter:"DO IT!"

*while the bartender is rushing to put all the liquor into the satchel, Ante starts to stare again @ the woman's breasts and starts to slowly...reach out his hands...*

Otter(puts full satchel over his shoulder):"Oh no you don't!"

*grabs Ante by the back of his shirt collar and drags him back to the Crow's Nest, while Ante is making suckling noises in the big-breasted woman's direction*

Otter:"ugh, almost forgot..."

*drops Ante on the ground adruptly*

Ante:"oUcH?!..."

*Otter walks back in and pulls two bottles of Merlot out of his stachel*

Otter(to bartender):"nothing but the finest."

*bartender eagerly nods in agreement*

*Otter then smashes both bottles of Merlot on oppostie sides of the entryway, bartender looks confused. Otter displays his "Vulcan's Torch" and lights the door on fire and before leaving turns to the bartender*

Otter:"whoops, almost forgot to give you a tip."(throws ball of fire @ bartender)

*Otter walks out slowly while the already enflamed bar suddenly has an explosion in the middle of it creating a huge black cloud*

(Otter turns to Ante)Ante(w/ eyes eide open):"oooohh.....pretty fire!"

Otter:"indeed."(puts hand on Ante's shoulder)

*lightbulb lights in Ante's head*

Ante:"MUST SAVE BIG-BREASTED WOMAN!"(while running back into the ablaze bar)

Otter(reaches out w/ hand):"No, don't...go. aw, screw it!"(walks back to Crow's Nest)



------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Gebohq]

*It is part of the female nature not to have their breasts held by another guy, that is, when the guy is doing this in a bar, drunk. Which is why it comes to no surprise to the female readers that when Antestarr came running out of the flaming bar, he brought what he thought was a big-breasted woman. Indeed, it had been the same person he was er...touching before, but what both Antestarr and theOtter didn't know was that the female was actually a he...*

*These kind of things can only be expected though when you are drunk. A certain Aerosmith song played in the background as Antestarr would soon find out for himself who this person really was.*

(heehee)

[MaybeChild]

*suddenly, the Aerosmith stops and several drum beats come out of nowhere, and then: the electric guitar chord...*
Busty Woman: "How'd'you do, I... see you've met my... bouncy little shelf. But seeing as how you... don't know me... I think I'll introduce myself." *Ante looks confused, Otter suppresses a laugh* "don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover... I'm not much of a man, by the light of day, but by night I'm one hell of a lover... I'M JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE, FROM TRANSEXUAL TRANSYLVANIA..." *Antestarr drops Frank in horror and revulsion as Otter lets loose and falls to the ground in hysterical laughter*
Ante: "oh my GOD!!!" *runs off screaming*
Frank: "Oh, Ante!" *takes off after Antestarr*

------------------
"Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!" ~Hair

[Semievil333]

(side note)
Duct tape is one of the crowning achivements of mankind, it binds the world together, fixes everything from trucks to computers, and comes in 6 colors.
Duck tape is a far insuperior brand of this superb medium, having far more fibers than it should have, it is structurally inferior.

Although cheeper, when something important is being bound, duck tape is insufficient.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Semievil333]

Sem, still lying in a heap on the ground decides finally that his skin is too encumbering, and simply leaves it behind, leaving him as a stark white skeleton.
Finding this form much easier to mend, he swiftly repairs himself, adjusts his imposing black cloak, and stands, for only the second time scince he entered NES bolt upright, a towering 6'4".
He proceeds over to the ruined officials table where the battered, frightened DMV veterans ask him to fill out no forms for the new set of blood vessels he orders(he needs veins for adrenaline to course through). This done he picks up the maul, somewhat coroded, from the ground. Having armed and repaired himself he now sets off in search of Antestarr, intent on vengance for the practical joke played on him with the pike.....

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[TheOtter]

Ante(to Otter):"well, the funny thing is that i didn't even mean to give him a PIKE, i actually went to the DMV table to order a DYKE, not a PIKE. But they didn't understand what i meant so they gave me something that sounded like it. They did say though that they would check if they had any and call me back later. I didn't have a use for the pike so i just gave it to Sem. That makes sense, doesn't it?"

Otter:"uh...

*but before Otter could finish his confused response, The Indigo Girls kicked down the door to the "Crow's Nest". As you see, as soon as Ante placed an order for a "DYKE" the NOW caught wind and sent their representative, "The Indigo Girls" to well...kick his *** for making that crude request!*

Indigo Girls:"Which one of you made the deroggatory remarks toward lesbians?"

*Otter points @ Ante, Ante realizes he is being pointed @ and turns around to point a finger @ someonelse, but finds no one else and releases a resounding "D'oh!". But before the Indigo Girls drag Ante away, they see Otter's 'unusually large' collection of err...Gentlemen's magazines and decide otherwise to live @ the Crow's Nest instead*

Otter:"hey gals, are you still going to beat up Ante?"

Indigo Girls(all heads tilted to the side and drooling):"huh? uh...i dunno...i guess so..."

*Mindy (one of the Indigo Girls) picks up Ante and tosses him out of the Crow's Nest window, into the middle of the arena*

Otter(by this point Otter is walking around in a smoking jacket and smoking a pipe):"well done my bunnies, well done!"


------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Semievil333]

Seeing Ante drop from the sky and land directly in front of him (on his feet no less) Sem brings his 90 pound hammer into a smart crash on his lower legs, breaking 3 bones.
Sem: "mmmm hm!"
Ante: "ough"
Sem drags Ante over to the officials table and sees to his medical treatment..... 2 hours later Ante stumbles back into the crows nest with a "Barney" cast on his left leg, and a "Tele-tubbies" cast on his right.
Sem glows with pride in his work.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

*The arena now takes on an appearance that more suits its ultimate purpose: as a fighting arena. In one corner was Semievil, jumping up and down, fists in front of him, ready to fight his contender. In the opposing corner was Antestarr, still resentful because he recieved a Barney and Telli-Tubby cast from his injuries. Antestarr was being given a few words of advise from his mentor, who looked suspisiously like the old guy in "The Karate Kid".*

"Now Ante," the old guy started "remember: wax the car, paint the fence, and the crane."

"What are you talking about?" Antestarr said. "What's a car? What fence? And I don't own a crane, I just want to kick this guy's @$$!"

*The old man sighed, and Sem met Antestarr (who was riding on his horse, Artex) in the middle of the ring. The referee, who looks a lot like Mills Lane, signaled tehm to begin fighting.*

"Haha!" Sem said. "i shall use my quicksand attack!"

"But there isn't any sand here." Antestarr replied.

*Never the less, Antestarr was sinking into the arena. He got off his horse and urged it to move out of the trap. It would not move however, and Antestarr began pleading*

"Artex, you must move! You have to. ATREX, PLEASE! ARTEX!!!"

*Antestarr kneeled before the space that occupied his beloved horse, and Sem laughed at the psychological damage he put Ante through.*

------------------
"Always copping my truths, I kind of get the feeling that I'm being used. And now I realize you never heard one goddamn word I ever said." -"Loosing a Whole Year" [i]Third Eye Bling[/i[

=Gebohq=

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr, twisted in rage at the loss of the horse, loses control over his mind and body.*

Antestarr: You... you animal! How could you ruthlessly drown my horse in a sea of... uh... canvas!? First the cast and now this?! I CAN'T TAKE THIS KIND OF ABUSE!! *Antestarr puts two fingers in his mouth and whistles.* Trixie! Come 'ere girl!

Sem: Trixie? And who's that, your mommy?

*Sem starts laughing uncontrollably until his eyes fall on the 5 foot tall, 250 pound Rotweiler that had just bounded from Ante's vessel to the scene of the fight. The dog proceeded to leap onto Sem, catching him off guard and knocking him off balance. Trixie then proceeded to grab one of Sem's legs with her teeth, pulled it out of socket, and trotted off contently knawing on the bone and searching for a proper burial spot.*

Ante (approching the dog): Good girl *pets her*. That's my wonderful puppy. You get extra table scraps tonight. *Returning to Sem* Now, as for you, take this!

*Ante proceeds to kick Sem in the ribs with the foot that resided in the cast, leaving red, yellow, green, and purple marks all in proper shapes...*

[TheOtter]

*As Otter and his 'bunnies' stare from their penthouse view, all the Indigo Girls are all around Otter and dressed up like Playboy bunnies*

Otter(to arena floor and clapping):"Good show men! Good show!"

¤Bunnies also giggle and laugh¤

*Suddenly the door opens and an old creepy looking man walks in*

Old Man:"What are all of ya' kids doing up here?"(while shaking his mop and bucket @ them)

Otter:"Ohh...right, you must be the janitor.(starts to instictively to pull out sword)Hey are those kids over there stealing the urinal cakes?"

Old Man:"¤gasp¤ wher--

*but before he could finish his sentence Otter had pulled out his Huskarl sword swung it over his head, and sliced it through the old man's collar bone all the way down to his hip bone. after the swing the old man just collapsed onto the bathroom into 2 disheveled pieces, as Otter watched his blood trickle down towards the drain, he remembered...*

Otter(in happy go lucky voice):"Almost forgot! We have to return 'Psycho' my midnite tonight!"

Bunnies(whilest tossing their hair):"Oh yeah..."


------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Semievil333]

Reacting swiftly, Sem removes his other leg and pulls a rapid up swing into Ante's chin.
Ante stumbling back, Sem throws a bone from his leg at Ante, hitting him........ below the belt.
Mills:"No hits below the belt! I wanted a good clean fight! Time out for you!"
His plan having succeded Sem drags himself off to the official's table and beats the DMV guy with a femur until he gives Sem a black suitcase.
Sem hides under his cloak for several minutes, as a low rumble shakes through the arena.
Sem emerges, now again a complete skeleton, this time in a shiny jet-black bone color that matches his cloak perfectly, to the sound of 4 hollow, haunting chords.
Ante shinks back in horror as he recognizes the overature to JCS.
Sem realizes that although this is good fight music, it would give him an unfair advantage and changes it to the Mortal Combat theme.
Following this minor programing change Sem re-enters the arena, black cloak flowing dramatically, wielding a peculiar weapon that appears to have been fasioned from the upper jaw and hind leg of Tixie.
&lt;note:as part of Sem's new skeleton, the broken, Barney tie-dyed ribs have been replaced.&gt;
------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited April 29, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

*Geb, still, er..."far out there" from the happy hour session, sits in the Crow's Nest, watching Otter and his women. OK, so just his women.*

Geb: Wow...those are SOME groovy chicks. Hey Otter, what's that over there?

Otter: (wisperign) Shut u-up.

*The Otter is placed in a very um...sticky prediciment when his "bunnies" see the swedish-made penis enlarger behind the toilet.*

[Semievil333]

Suddenly Ante is thrust unpreped into battle, wielding only a tooth of morris' that fell out when he was eating whatever small nation he ate last, and a canister of silly string.
Ante the storywriter: "Wait a second, Sem, you can't use that weapon."
Sem the storywriter: "WTH do you mean I can't use that weapon!?!?"
Ante storywriter: "Well, you play EQ, you tell me- you are wielding a Shaman-type weapon with a Dark-Evil type charachter. you have to change the weapon to something more fitting. Like a Gigantic black-enamal executioner's axe."
Sem storywriter: "I don't wanna! I like my weapon!"
Ante story-guy suddenly picks up a rubber duck from the table, and hits Sem story guy in the head, rendering him unconsious.
EMT Has to take Sem off to examine the possability of concussion.
Ante story guy, to the rest of the story board: "Ok.... now to change that weapon."
Gebohq story guy: "Ante that's not fair, you hit him, you have to honor his wishes.... he keeps the weapon."
Ante story guy: "DOH!"
Moments later, back in the arena Ante squares off with Sem, now a suspiciously accurate rendition of Yoda, only 6 inches shorter...... and still wielding the Dog-Jaw weapon...

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[TheOtter]

*Otter stands there w/ a surprised look on his face*

Otter(talking to himself w/ inside voice):"uh...uh...(looks to brain)

Otter's brain:"Don't look @ me!"

*looks down to stomach*

Otter's stomach:"Mmm....Rolos...."

*looks down to..(interrupts)

Otter's d*ck:"Aw, shaddup! you know what im gonna say anyway..."

Otter(laughs to himself):"hehe...oh yeah."

*lightbulb goes off*

Otter:"hey girls! look over there!"(points in opposite direction of SPE)

*Otter quickly grabs the SPE and throws it out of the Crow's Nest window*

Otter:"uh...you can stop looking over there now..."

Bunnies:"wha? (giggle) okay!"


------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Gebohq]

Geb: Should I dare ask what's in hte closet?

Otter: No.

Geb: OK then. Mmmm...what's this?

*Gebohq picks up "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and starts to read it.*

*Meanwhile, theOtter teaches his women the "Dehlia game", where he gets to tickle their, um...yeah.*

(And then the Geb writer gets fired for being so lazy to make a short and meaningless post. But then again, when have ANY of these posts have a meaning? Lemme leave you with a question: how many posts does it take to get to teh end of a neverending story? The world may never know...)

[Semievil333]

Meanwhilst, Ante, back down in the arena, is attempting to dis-arm Sem, who despite his newfound from is still wielding a formidable weapon (which the storywriters have agreed to let him have until it drops in the natural course of the story) thus it is an akward scene, Sem holding on to the end of the dog bones, Ante holding the jaw, shaking it, with Sem attached around in the air, and Sem's cloak, now of course slightly large comming from a 6'4" skeleton to a 1'6" muppet-looking jedi gnome, is waving around so that it looks like Ante is trying to signal the crow's nest.
Sem, with apropriate voice: "NO! MY weapon it is, or I will duel you not!"
At the same time Sem the story-guy is laid up in the hospital, and a youngish nurse comes into the room, bearing food, and several recent bruises.
Sem story guy: "Sem, not does Coke, function well without!"
The nurse(judged by the older nurses in the hospital to be the only one capable of running this gauntlet) dodges aside just in time to be missed by a piece of the bed, that Sem, despite the restraints, managed to work loose and throw. Throwing the food onto the bedside table she makes a hasty retreat, closing the door in time to stop a hypodermic needle that burrows deep into the wood. Seeing she is gone, Sem the story guy takes out one of 4 remaining hypodermic needles that he has managed to get filled with coke, injects himself, and rubs his wrists where he has broken the feeble restraints.
Sem story-guy: "hmm.... if I don't get out of here soon caffine withdrawl might become a serious issue...."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited May 02, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

*Sem the story-writer's eyes dart about, searching for the elusive source of caffine his body desperately needed. Once he looked out the window, his eyes widened in glee as he saw across the street at a gas station, a coke machine. He took the bedsheets, tied them together to form rope, and threw one end out the window. He then began to walk out the window when he realizes he forgot to tie the other end. Sem fell down the 50 stories in a Prince of Persia like fashion.*

Sem: AhhhhhhHHHHAAAHHHHhhhhhHHHHAAAAaaahhhhHHHHAAAAA--*SPLAT!*

*After the dust settled, Sem got back onto his feet and, like an undead warrior, walked with arms outstretched towards the glowing soda machine. As he walked into the street grunting, cars swerved and crashed into things much more explosive then they should have been. Finally, he reached the soda machine and, not being able to wait one moment longer, pushed the Coke button with all his might. The only response he recieved was a blinking "75 cents needed" on the dispenser. Reaching in his pocket, he found that he had only some lint and a shirt button.*

*There would be hell to pay.*

*Meanwhile, within the Massassi Temple, the bad writers continued to labor over the Neverending Story Thread. As Gebohq typed up his latest post, his phone rang, and he picked it up. The voice on hte other end spoke with a female tone that tried being all too nice.*

voice: Yes, is there a Mr. Ge...Geboo..Gebohque here?

Geb the writer: He will be when you stop calling.

*Before she could say anything else, Geb proptly hung up. He continued to write his greatest post yet! Well...as long as it had Morris the cat in it anyways...*

[TheOtter]

*Trying w/ all his might Sem pushed the button for some precious caffeinne, but alas to no avail. just then Sem hears a familar jingle,"..this is the taste, the one of a kind taste of goodness..." but before the jingle had time to finish Sem screamed in fanatical joy...*

Sem:"DR. PEPPER!"

*Sem's eyes get as big as silver dollars as the Dr. Pepper truck rides up (in actuality it was a commercial being taped) he starts to instinctively reach out his hand for the Dr. Pepper, but before he could get in reach of it changed courses*

Sem:"WHA? NOOOOOOOO!"

*As Sem closely watches it, as it turns to the left slightly and then stop. Sem walks around the back to get a closer inspection and finds that the two men driving the truck had been mercilessly been decapetated by...*

Sem:"Jar Jar Binks and Qui Gon-jin?"

*Their obviously FAKE counterparts take off their masks to unveil the Otter and (special guest star) Mel Brooks!*

Mel Brooks and Otter(in unison):"later."

Sem(angry):"What do you mean 'later.' aren't ya gonna fight me or say something witty and then speed off into th..

*But before Sem could finish his complaint they were already gone*

*In the truck*

Otter:"but i thought that was witty.."

Mel Brooks:"Nope, more random than anything else."

Otter:"Ah."

*Back @ the intersection*

¤Sem still staring @ where the two sped off to, a shaky teenage boy that was breaking out w/ a constanly changing voice, ran up next to Sem panting¤

Teenager:"Mr.Tribiani gonna have my head on a post..."

Sem(to himself):"hmph...its probably better than this one..."


------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus



[This message has been edited by TheOtter (edited May 05, 2000).]

[Semievil333]

Sem slowly wanders away from the intersection, muttering about how drugged up he must have been. (Dr.Pepper is NOT a viable caffine scource)
Returning to the vending machine, just as the adrenaline starts to pump wildly from withdrawl, he goes around back and carefully unplugs it. Then he walks into the gas station and "haggles" for a cheap plastic bat, which he proceeds to drive straight into the macine, impaling it, and causing it to emit a powerful burst of soda, like blood gushing from a carbonated blood vessel.
Sem: "ewwww..... diet"
Sem tries again a little to the left of the subsiding diet fountain.
Sem: "EEEEK!!! Pepsi!!!"
Sem is forced to back off until the stream dies compleately, lest he incur severe burns. When it does he tries to the right of the diet hole.
Sem: "ahhh.... coke....."
At this point, though it makes little diffrence to Sem, there is nothing left of the little plasic bat.
Sem reaches in and takes 2 bottles that fell down from just above the broken ones, hooks them into an I.V. and walks with it back to the story board office.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[MaybeChild]

*as sem sits down at his storyboard, Maybe walks in*

Maybe: *looking at Sem puzzledly as in her head she hears "Things go better with coca-cola, things go better with coke!"* ... I'm not even gonna ask...
Sem: Good idea.

*Maybe then goes to find Otter to box his ears for the posts he put up while she was gone (all in good fun, mind you)*

------------------
"Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!" ~Hair

[Gebohq]

*At the main entrance to the offices in teh Massassi Temple Neverending story writers' section, a well-endowed blond tour guide giuded a group of tourists through the offices.*

Ditzy tour guide: And to your right you can see Semievil *hooked to the IV of Coke*. To your left is Antestarr *trying to shove Morris hte cat away with his foot as he is typing*. Oh look, several empty offices--those silly disgruntled writers. Who knows what building they'll decide to bomb next. Oh look, here comes theOtter, followed by Maybechild *Maybechild chases after theotter with a whiffle bat. Otter looks at the tourgiude, and distracted by her two, er...gifts, trips over a used coke can and falls over onto Gebohq's computer.*

Gebohq: Oh darn, my computer's broken. Guess I can't write anymore...

Editor: *grabbing Geb by hte collar* oh no you don't! You're gonna use a typewriter if you have to.

Geb: Urgh...

Editor: And I'll have to take your stapler too. And don't forget about those GPS reports.

Geb: Not my stapler...I-I-I'm gonna burn down the building. Yeah, he took my stapler. Just they see...

[MaybeChild]

Meanwhile, in whatever MaybeChild suddenly decided to write, The Otter and Geb are back in the Crow's Nest when they hear a commotion outside.

Maybe: Get back here! D*** it, I'll get you, you little glob of...

Otter: Maybe! What are you DOING?!?!? It looks like you're chasing a mushroom!

Maybe: I AM chasing a mushroom! It got out of my jar of kombucha tea and now it's running around wreaking havoc!

Geb: Did you say "kombucha"? What's that?

Maybe: You don't wanna know... HEY!!! *MaybeChild screams in frustration as she watches her gear get soaked in kombucha pee. The kombucha scampers away giggling* That's IT, from now on I'm sticking to Tazo...

------------------
"Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!" ~Hair

[Gebohq]

Geb: Did I see...what..I..thought-
Otter: Yeup.
Geb: And they say I'm wierd.

*Gebohq continues to read "Hitchhiker" with a lampshade on his head.*

[Antestarr]

*Realizing that there wasn't nearly enough havoc in the arena, Raistlin decides that now is the time for his most powerful spells.*

Raistlin: Hmm... now let's see here... comma esta jikara?

*A white rabit appears from his sleeve.*

Raistlin: Dang. Wrong one. Ah! Here we are: sikkar nobos estopolis takahashi!

*The volcano, arena, and everything within it begin to shake violently. A sphere of atmosphere appears around it as the entire area rises from the firm attachment to the earth, flies several thousand miles, and plants itself on the looming comet, still poised to strike earth just as soon as Ares decides to return for more fun.*

*Just then, a letter arrives. The sender is "Pay-per-View(tm)". It somehow lands in the hands of Antestarr.*

Antestarr: Hmm... "Dear participants of the salvation of the world. Ares has sold the control of the looming comet to us. We are using the action to get lots and lots of money. However, our ratings are starting to waver, since it's not quite as 'life-threatening' or 'adventureous'. Please raise the action level a notch, or we will be forced to crash the comet into the planet, destroying it. Thank you and have a nice day." Seems pretty heavy to me.

Raistlin: Well, we'll just see about "life-threatening" and "adventureous".

*Raistlin whispers two more magic spells. The first starts the comet on a crash course, arena first, towards the bridge of the Super-Star-Destroyer. The second brings the constellation Ursus Major down into the arena.*

Raistlin: (yawn) Now I need some sleep.

*He ascends into the announcer's booth, puts on a symphonic CD of tension building music, and doses off to sleep.*

Antestarr: OOO! A Great Bear! Let's go ride it!

*Antestarr proceeds to climb onto the back of the bear. The bear, in reaction to this outright invasion of his personal bubble, starts to run around the arena wildly, smashing into things and occasionally doing flips in the air...*

------------------
~Antestarr
Time for my turn at a shameless plug. Go to ecamp. It's fun, and you can get prizes.

http://myecamp.com/signup/index.php3?up=Antestarr

Good Luck!

[Semievil333]

Meanwhilst the still Yodafied Sem, still wielding the dog-jaw weapon, which he has now fitted with some cheap plastic beads, is trying to remove the last strands left from the hot-glue gun when a massive claw sets down beside him.
Ursa Major: "reaough!!!"
Sem: "hmm.... pretty claw this is...yes..."
Sem grabs the claw and begins trying to detach it from it's owner.
Sem: "HM! my claw this is now, or I will release you not!"
Ursa Major: "reagh!"
The bear proceeds to walk away, Sem clinging to the front left claw, cursing vhemently.... and backwards.... and the great bear ignoring him.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited May 12, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

*If Raistlin had any weaknesses, it was with his physical condition. Not only was being a magic-user draining on his physical side, but he often went into fits of coughs. And with it being spring, Raistlin dreaded his existance all the more. And no matter how many group therapy sessions he went to, he couldn't be convinced that allergies were his friend.*

Raistlin: *Hack-cough-cough*...how can I get any sleep like this?

*To his surprise, an animated NightQuil bottle was dancing by his side, along with some over-the-counter friends.*

dancing Nightquil bottle: Belly-up! Belly-up 'til your passed out!

Raistlin: I knew I shouldn't of drank "beast". Those college kids...

*Meanwhile...*

Otter: Um..Geb?

Geb: What?

Otter: Why do you still have a lampshade on your head?

Geb: Huh? Oh. I was wondering why it was kind of dark...

*Gebohq fumbles to try taking the lampshade off his head.*

Geb: I can't see.

*TheOtter proceeds to clap twice. Geb's head lights up like a jack-o-lantern.*

Geb: And Momma always said that my lightbulb wasn't on. Goes to show her!

Otter: *as he prceeds to clap twice again, then take Geb's lampshade off his head* "Hush up and here" *hands Geb the "Old asian women edition" of Hustler* "This might be more interesting than what you're reading--WHOOPS! Wrong one, that's my personal favorite." *hands Latistia Casta issue instead* "Here ya go."

*Geb's jaw hangs limp while a certain something else geos from being limp.*

*A reader witnessing the event.* "Eww...that's just nasty. I didn't know you could use duct tape that way-that isn't right!..."

(*Brought to you by Gebohq. Pushing the boundaries of bad taste for your reading enjoyment http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif*)

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited May 14, 2000).]

[TheOtter]

*Maybe is still running around trying to find her Kombachka mushroom when she finds...*

Maybe:"Oh hey, Otter. Its you again."

*Otter sits in beanbag reading the old asian edition of Hustler whilst smoking on a hookah*

Otter:"mmmyes it is I."

Maybe:"hey geb, have you seen by mushroom run by again?"

*Geb's head still cocked w/ jaw dropped and eyes wide open*

Geb(eyes never leaving mag):"huh? wha? uh....no?"

Maybe(confused):"'no?', whats that supposed to mean?"

Otter:"Maybe, maybe, maybe....forgetta 'bout it! just sit hear w/ me and my big, jolly friend Caterpillar while we 'enjoy' the company of the hookah."

Maybe(ponders):"hmmm....ok!"

*Maybe pulls up another beanbag next to 'the Caterpillar' and Otter, and begins to smoke on the hookah,when Otter hands her a Metallica fan club mag*

Maybe(big grin on face):"OOOOOOOOOOOH...why do you have this?"

Otter:"I have a mag for each fighter to ahem...'look at for visual pleasure'"

*points to the different mags for the fighters, such as: the latest issue of 'The Women of the Starship Enterprise' for Semi, a 'Modern Technology' mag for Raistlin, and...*

Maybe:"pictures of livestock?"

Otter(takes pipe out of mouth and looks at ground):"uh...thats uh, for Ante. (interrupts maybe before she can say anything) I don't know so don't ask!"

*both then continue to smoke on hookah...*


------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus



[This message has been edited by TheOtter (edited May 14, 2000).]

[Antestarr]

*Ever since the incident with Sem, Trixie had been in the OR of a nearby ship. The technicians and paramedics were huddled around her, giving commands for instruments.*

Doctor: Scalpel! Clamp! Stethoscope! Mop! Bucket! Squeegee! 1000 pounds of titanium! Welder! Shovel! Catheter! Garden Hose! Jelly Donut! Ice Cream Dispenser! French Midget!

Nurse: Why do you need a French Midget?

Doctor: They're so cute. I wanted to take one home with me. Ok, we're almost done here...

*With the whirring of an electric screwdriver and the buzz of a table saw coming to a halt, the group steps away from the operating table. Standing on it is Trixie, with a new, metallic sheen in various areas around her body, one leg being completely robotic.*

Doctor: There we have it. The 6-million dollar rotwieler.

*Various claps fill the room as Trixie bounds back into the arena. She views Antestarr riding atop a large constellation while a strange Yoda-like creature tugs at its foot. Trixie's eyes meet with the constellation's, and sappy music begins to play.*

Otter (looking over): Uh-oh...

*Urs tosses Antestarr and Sem aside and rushes over to Trixie. The two then move off to some place out of sight. Sem approaches Antestarr.*

Sem: Gone they are. We now fight?

Antestarr: Umm... alright, fine.

*Just then, a large litter of half-bear, half cybernetic rotweiler puppy creatures run into the arena, followed by Urs and then Trixie, who is smoking.*

Antestarr: Awww... they're so cute! And look, their little teeth are razor sharp and they have deathrays in their tails... I could just hug them all to death!

*The group gather around Antestarr as if he is a loving father. A bead of sweat runs down Sem's cheek as he starts to back away...*

[Semievil333]

Sem: "bad could this be... mmmm... yes..."
Sem rushes up to the crows nest, grabs the otter, and rushes back into the arena.
Sem: "Hold for this, will you a second otter?"
Otter, taking the now heavily beaded bones missing from Trixie's leg and jaw: "whoa! cool, where did you get this?"
Sem, backing out of the arena, maintaining a low profile: "ummm.... see that big doggie with the stars stuck in her fur? she hands them out."
Otter: "all right! here doggie, doggie, doggie!"
Just before he leaves the arena, Sem gives the otter the flowing black cloak he wore on his last encounter with trixie.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

*As Antestarr stands with pride and joy written on his face because of his pet, Trixie, the earth-shattering unstoppable force of the universe steps in. Jealousy starts to flow from the omnipitant all-lovable being as he stares with eyes that could kill at Antestarr. Being replaced by Trixie was the biggest mistake Antestarr could ever make. Now...now, he would pay. Antestarr would feel the being's wrath, with just a few, simple words.*

"Whatcha think you doin' with the dog foo?"

*It was Morris the Cat, more encompassing than ever. The cat continued.*

"How dare you replace me! And you had teh nerve to replace me with a dog! A DOG! What were you thinking? I'm gonna throw up all over your nice shoes, then I'm gonna show that b**ch whose boss."

*Antestarr tried to plead with Morris as the cat made his way to Trixie. Only fate will decide whether the superpower can be stopped though. Will trixie prove to be the underdog in the end? Tune in, cuz somebody's bound to post after this one!*

(dead silence from teh audience. The thread is never touched again.)

*Damn, forgot to knock on wood...*

[Gebohq]

*Go figure. The next post is by me.*

*Out in the arena's parking lot, the former bad writers of the Neverending Story tried desperately to get away. But having twenty Star Destroyers and a Superstar Destroyer lead by Grand Admiral Thrawn made quite a traffic jam for all teh poor unfortunate souls who wwere trying to get away, having realized too late that the Neverending story was in fact never going to end.*

*Miss Fire, one of the many trying to escape the wretched arena, sat watching the monitor in her ship, since she was obviously going nowhere. Remote in hand, she watched, eating her salad *gotta keep that hot figure and all, no pun intended*.*

Miss Fire: (as she watches the latest on the Neverending Story, the special on Pay-Per-View for teh past six months) Man, and I thought it was bad before...

*She changes the channel to watch "Amazing Discoveries".*

"...have you had Imperial trouble getting in your way. How about big cats that hold supernatural powers? Or maybe you recently turned into a Yoda-look-alike. Whatever the case be, the solution is held within this book, "Chicken soup for the bloodthirsty". It tells about how violence is the solution to all problems, along with suicide, drugs, and achohol. You can get this book now for only $99.99, not including shipping and handling, no refunds accepted, no-"

*Miss Fire continues to flip through the channels until she found herself watching "Dawson's Creek".*

(someone else can resolve the Morris and Oter's situation. http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif)

[Gebohq]

*If such a mental image could be made by anyone, they would see Ursa Major and Trixie sound asleep in a humongous bed. Morris the Cat slinked-*

audience member: Where did the bed come from? And where in the arena can this new thing be?

Geb the Writer: Hush you. It just is, ok? *slips audience member a $10, where then the person leaves quietly, grinning.*

*ANYWHOS! Like I said, Morris the Cat crept closer and closer to Trixie, waiting for the perfect distance and timing to leap and swallor Trixie whole. Morris was just about to strike when someone stepped on his tail. Maybechild!*

Maybe: Oops, sorry there little, er, big kitty. I was just trying to find that mushroom and-oh! There it is.

*Meowing loudly, Morris scampered out. As Maybechild bends over to pick up the fiesty mushroom, Ursa Major wakes up, towering over Maybechild. The huge bear prepares to maw her when she turns around and looks at it with an innocent face.*

Maybe: You don't look too good Mr. Bear. want this mushroom?

*Ursa major cocked its head sideways, obviously confused. Maybe held the mushroom up higher, and hesitantly, Ursa Major took the mushroom. As ursa Major was leaving the room, theOtter steps in with Sem's cloak on.*

Otter: Hey, I heard you could get some good bone-

Maybe: I have to inteerupt you right there. Besides, that vloak just isn't you! Gimme the cloak.

Otter: But I'm not wearing any clothes under it.

Maybe: *shivers* Here: some Abrocrombie and Fitch clothes to wear instead. Go into the bathroom there and come back when you've finished changing.

*TheOtter steps into the bathroom, and after a minute of what sounds like a pit crew tuning up a car in the Indy 500, he steps back out, looking like an A&F model(except with more clothes on). He gave Maybechil the cloak, who prepares to toos it aside when Semievil runs in.*

Sem: Don't throw it away! I'm very fond of that cloak.

*Semievil takes his cloak from Maybechild and starts to put it on, but all the noise he made when entering woke Trixie up. She began to growl and foam at the mouth.*

Sem: Hey, I could use a little help here guys. Guys?

*Semievil was the only one left in the room, save the bloodthirsty rotweiler. Sem cursed at himself violently.*

----------------------
"Why are you obsessed with fighting? Time and fates you can't deny? If you knew the path we're riding, you'd understand it less than I" Jesus to his apostles--Jesus Christ Superstar

~Gebohq~

[Semievil333]

Sem, always one to think on his feet(save during coke withdrawl periods) flips the cloak around, showing the soft, velevety red inside.
Suddenly dressed in a peculiar bull-fighting outfit(all the more peculiar as it is 30x his yoda-ish size) Sem shakes out his cloak.
Tixie, suddenly having lost the stars stuck in her fur, picks up the heavily beaded bones from the floor, and rapidly fasions them into horns.
Realizing that he might actually have to FIGHT the brute(although remarkably dainty) trixie, despite his obvious handicap(being the size of a office trash can) does the only thing he can; RUN AWAY!!!!!! zipping out past the others in a flurry of loose-clothing and red velvet he starts lapping the arena w/ trixie close on his little green arse.....

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Semievil333]

Sem: "One second, wait! Hadicap me for my size do they? And well they should not! For my ally is the storywriter, and a powerful ally he is."
Suddenly sem stops and turns to face Trixie.... suddenly he turns around and starts running again.
Sem: "Story writer too long taking is!!!"
after a few more minutes of running and cursing sem is saved as Trixie is smitten under the giant paw of Morris.
Sem: "Whew"
Spotting sem, morris' playful inner kitten is activated, and sem finds himself being batted around like so many catnip-toy mice.
Sem: "STORYWRITERS BASTARDS ARE!!!!"
After a few long moments a faint buzz is heard, and sem looks up... no now down.... no, now he's right-side-up again, perking his long, pointed ears.
Suddenly, having now slowed down to a still impressive 578 GPS ("gonk"s per second) Gonk2m4 comes tearing through the arena, narrator still tied, screaming, to the top of the gonkish framework, and sem is saved as morris bounds off in persuit of this more entertaing quarry.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Semievil333]

noticing that morris' giant claws have ripped through the leather bonds sem borrowed from the otter's closet to tie down the narrator. He is about to slip away, hopefully unnoticed, when suddenly the narrator bellows out in a familiar sing-song voice: ".....Oh! what a beautiful day! I've got a wonderful feeling; everything's going my way!" yes that's right! the narrator had become Ares' Clone! Rushing up to greet the old friend who helped bring him into the story sem notices Bernard the cyber-pidgeon, still with rubber-duck attachment, sitting on Ares' Clone's shoulder.
Removing the duck, sem gives it to the Clone.
Suddenly the arena lights darken. Sounds of violins warming up in the orchestra are heard. And in a magnificent voice, rivaling that of Joshua's men for power, and easily outpacing any voice for quality......
Ares' Clone: "Rubber duckie, your the one; you make bathtime so much fun!......"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

Ares' Clone: (in best british-monotone accent) And now for something, completely different.

*As the words were uttered, the camera vision blips into blackness, as if stopping the end of a scene. When the camera is turned on again, the reader sees the arena in a much fuzzier view, much like a home movie, or a documentary. Standing in front of the camera is Gebohq, wearing a simple black suit.*

Geb: We will now venture into the world of comedy and find out excatly what makes something funny. Take this furry animal for instance.

*Gebohq gestures his hand towards the ground, and the reader now sees an otter that had just scuttled into view.*

Geb: (clearing his throat) Hello there, Matt. Would you happen to know where I could obtain a beer?

*The animal mutters an incoherent squeaking, native to the otter tongue. The animal then puls out a Budwieser from behind and holds it up to Geb. Two lizards then enter the scene.*

Lizard #1: We could have done that so much better. Why do people love that animal more than us?

Lizard #2: Because he's an affable animal that everyman can relate to.

Lizard #1: And we're not? I can speak French. Think it can do that?

*The two lizards scuttle back to whence they came, bickering all the way.*

Geb: Now see here, there are many levels at which the humor was introduced. On an average reader scale, the absurdity of the otter handing me a beer might strike amusment in someone. Commercial tie-ins often help too, and those businesses in turn return their thanks. *looks over at two volumptuois women, who begin to giggle. Geb turns back to the camera.* Also, the dedicated readers know that relations between this otter and THE Otter could be made, making it all teh more funny. And in a sick, absurd way, the writer of this post had some inside joke played in as well.

*Gebohq walked to his left, teh camera following.*

Geb: As you may have picked up, humor is best recieved when unexpected. Several unwritten rules include not explaining the joke--oops, heh--say teh right joke to the right audience, and timing and delievery is of the essence. Now, I will continue this documentary with--

random reader: Hey! Is that subliminal messages being filtered through this production?

*Several messages behind Gebohq that read things such as "Involve your friends in the Neverending Story, or we'll kill your family" and ""Tell your friends to tell your friends about the Neverending Story, the one an only thing that matters: you live on it" could be seen.*

Geb: I don't know what you're talking about. That's utter rubbish. Now, as I was saying-

This documentary is interrupted for a special announcement. A speech from-

random reader: Hey, it's the narator! Get 'em!

Damn, time to high-tail it outta here!

*As the unruly mob of readers go after the narrator, not to be confused with Ares' clone, Gebohq sighs to himself.

Geb: Why can't we all just be friends?

(voice from off camera): Why can't any of this story make sense and have some form of linear plot?

Geb: Because of the writers of course...

--------------
*In the Massassi Interactive Story Board offices, a wild party began, and Coke of both kinds flowed strongly through all their veins.*

Sem the writer: Yeah! I am one with the Force!

Geb the writer: Are the whores here yet?

Maybechild the writer: Put the Metallica music up LOUDER!

Otter the writer: What?

Antestarr the writer: Wooo...I'm going to end this horrible job of mine right now and FINISH the Neverending Story! The comet will soon hit the Super Star Destroyer and NOTHING will be left of them! Mwahahaha...haha..heh. Woo. Heh heh. OK, now where are those twinkies?...

[MaybeChild]

Suddenly a petrified marshmallow Peep hits Antestarr writer in the head, knocking him out cold.

Otter the writer: There! He won't be ending the story any time soon!

Meanwhile, MaybeChild the writer (oh hell we're all writers now until I say so) starts headbanging, and Sem looks on concernedly.

Maybe: GIMME FUEL GIMME FIRE GIMME THAT WHICH I DESIRE! YEAH!
Sem: Uh, Maybe, think you might wanna calm down a bit? Perhaps we should turn the music down, there's smoke coming out of your cd rom drive, and your speakers are looking kinda red hot...

MaybeChild abruptly shoves Sem's head into her empty tea mug (no, not kombucha tea, chai this time).

Maybe: I gotta pee! (ok so none of you will get the Chicago refrence, but I had to put it in)

Geb: Hey Otter, put some of this in your coke!
Otter: what is it?
Geb: Captain Morgan's Rum.
Otter: No thanks, I only drink Bacardi...

*smash*

Sem: MAYBE!!!!
Maybe: uh-oh... Better start writing, maybe he won't find me hidden behind all the piles of books surrounding my computer desk...

*****
(we're characters now, back in the temple, or arena, or whatever the hell this thing is)
Geb has decided that perhaps his documentary isn't going over so well, so he switches to something *completely different*

Geb: It's time to play: "What's My Scene?"
Maybe: Geb, that game isn't any fun, you know that.
Geb: oh well. I tried. Will the real David Jones please stand up?
Davy Jones: I am standing up. *Maybe goes running in the direction of that voice*
Otter: What got into her?
Geb: I think the question is: What's about to get into her? *the Otter smacks Geb upside the head for his sick sick mind*

Sem (walking in with the narrator hog-tied, a masterful feat considering that Sem is about two feet tall and the narrator is a full-sized person): Dispose of this man, we must. Help me who will?

Both Otter and Geb look at the narrator like he's got some sort of disease...

------------------
"Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!" ~Hair

[Semievil333]

Narrator(temporarily having been relived of the duct-tape over his mouth): "And now, for something compleatly different."
The camera shifts to the top of Gonk2m4, still wearing the ragged bunny suit, and ripping up the arena floor with his blinding speed, just in time to crash into the remaining framework of Enchilada Man's taco stand. Suddenly a vengeful flying taco descends from the sky, firing twice, and disappearing again. From one blast Gonk2m4 was knocked off it's feet and was now gonking like mad, still running, but upside-down, so going nowhere. From the other blast, the charred remains of the narrator sitting on Sem's back.
Sem, his ears having been blackened by the blast that took out the narrator: "Storywriters thier aim need to work on! yes!"
Scribed into one of the narrator's smoking bones was this message:"And now, for something compleately different."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

*In the Massassi's Interactive Story Board officce building, the storywriters ponder wearily over a volume of forgotten lore. That's right, the Neverending Story Thread, a tale of characters much like themselves who find themselves pitted against each other to...er...um..well, there was a purpose at one point. Anywhos, the writers sat, drudging over where to take the story next.*

Sem: Hm...how about we post about a tragic tale of how the lands were swept of Coke and Everquest?

Editor Chief: No, that wouldn't work. Something else...

Maybechild: How about the fighters go back in time? Like the late 60's! A-

Chief: No, that doesn't do either.

Geb: How about we get an audience? I know! Make this into a porn flick!

Chief: As tempting as it is...no. Anything else?

Otter: (just woke up) Oh-oh! How about we make this into a porno flick?

Chief: *sigh* Do you all want to get fired or something?

Antestarr: YES!

*Antestarr is then knocked unconscious by another Peep thrown by Otter. The editor sighs again.*

Geb: You know you want to do the porno...set it on top of a skyscaper...have a bikini hoe-down...

Maybe: I'll give you $20 if you just stpo talking about sex for an hour. OK?

Geb: I don't know... an hour is a long time...

[Antestarr]

*In the offices, Antestarr suddenly comes to again, and stares at the bottom of the peep for a few minutes. Then he comes to two revelations.*

Antestarr: Hey! There's a website on the bottom of this peep leading to clinical tests done on some peeps! Let's check it out! http://www.learnlink.emory.edu/peep/ . And another thing... I just made $40 in tips working my other job! I'm a happy camper... now where's my Farsight XR-20........

*The others stare at him in awe, then all go to the peep research page in order to see the effects of heat, cold, alcohol, smoking, and various other extremeties on peeps. (just wait until you see what happens to them in hydrochloric acid...)*

[Gebohq]

*Entering the arena through a swirling vortex, a barbarian wielding a two-handed sword. That's right: the mighty(ly sarcastic) Uncle Tusk. And he's here to kick your candy @$$ to the ground. No wait, that's the Rock...*

Tusk: Odd place this is, me thinks. No Jinjos, monkeys, annoying guys with flying kicks or cybernetic robots here.

*Uncle Tusk then notices a Farsight nearby, and farther off in the distance, some clueless audience members who hadn't done the smart thing five pages ago and left. Tusk picked up the Farsight and smiled.*

Tusk: Ahh...fresh meat. And what makes this all the better: I don't have to worry about my cat following me.

*Just then, Morris the Cat enters.*

Morris: Foo', you're cat ain't nothin' comapred to me! He got all his tricks from me, you know. Once I'm finished with you, you're be crying back home to Aunt Maya.

Tusk: I hate cats...
------------

"I don't have time to bleed." --Jesse Ventura Predator

\v/!!!!!!\v/
U Gebohq U

[Gebohq]

(from my sister, who is even wierder than I. Scary, ain't it?)

The cheese stood alone in the vast darkness, its monstrous shadow now casting over the arena. Behold, the power of cheese.

[Semievil333]

Sem swallows the cheeze whole, tripples in size(becomes normal size again), reverts to his skeletal self, and finds himself wearing his black cloak and wielding what appears to be a 2-handed lightsaber.
Behold the power of cheeze

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[TheOtter]

*Otter still thinking that the writers approved the bikini hoe-down on top of a skyscraper, drove his souped-up jet-black Karmminghia to the top of the arena's nearby home radio station*

Otter:"uh...where are all the half-naked girls?"

female voice from the shadows:"We're over here!"

Otter:"Woohoo!"

*female voice turns out to be Semievil's sister, Totallyevil. she smacks Otter unconscious w/ a giant block of cheddar*

Totally:"Behold! The Power of Cheese!"

------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Gebohq]

audience reader: Hey, it's like, Totally!...rad! Fer shure.

*Somewhere within teh bowels of the arena, Sem shudders, having felt the presence of his dark, dark sister, and remembers the horrible childhood memories.*

*Somewhere by theOtter, Sem's sister, Totallyevil, laughs.*

*Someplace else, Antestarr is, well, working his *** off. Doign what we all wonder...*

What? You expected this to be a good post? HA! That moron Geb couldn't write a post if his life dewpended on--er, now seeing the mighty pencil eraser, I failed to mention that Geb is quite the good-looking guy...

[Semievil333]

Sem's sister steps out of the dark, wearing the infamous "cool like Castro" t-shirt, holding Thrawn's head, and accompanied by 2 other dark presences..... one clad smartly in a black treanchcoat, wielding a rather menacing staff... or so it may be presumed that it was a staff.... it was moving so fast no-one really got a good look..... and the other...... simply a shadow, from which periodically a sharp kick or punch would strike the nearest holy or natural object.
Otter: waking up and saying meekly "eep!"
Narrator, now in the heavens, away from the angry specatators, and in a nice observing spot:"Aha! it is a staff... we can tell by the imprint in the Otter's stomach.... or.... what's left of it..... it appears that the otter has been.... well..... hunted..... he's not moving..... anyways, at least we're rid of that thrawn fellow, he was getting to be a real bore. "
at this point sem the writer realizes that in order to face this unholy menace, they must delve into the world of the fantasy RPG.
suddenly.....
........
........
........
the writer's block breaks and Sem, Ante, Maybe, a random spectator, Geb, and the 3 parts remainig of the Otter are transported to the center of the arena. as they stand there a mysical swirl begins to form and encompasses them, transfiguring them thus:
Geboq: The great holy knight and cavalier. The much revered paladin, clad in stylish glowing silver-gold armor, wielding a nice-looking longsword, and a full sized shield with a gold cross on it
Maybe: The all powerful healer, and general smack-laying messanger of the gods. The Cleric, clad similarly to the paladin, but wielding a meek prayre book, as opposed to the sword, which is just as well as the sword is almost Maybe's height, and the shield is enough trouble to hold on to.
Otter: Ye old wise and powerful druid, clad in simple leather, weilding a walking stick, and a nasty line-up of nature-type spells, who also happens to be dead.
Ante: Ye young and foolish rouge, wearing a smart camo cloak that blends him perfectly into any surroundings, and wielding 2 thin, poison-coated daggers. And a rubber duckie hat.
Sem: Grows fleash on his bones, and is covered with a light-pale skin, and a snazzy looking robe with depicions of wind, water, fire, and earth. Similarly fire, water, and sand drift from his fingertips in a light breeze.
Arena specator: Well.... Geb can't be a cavalier w/out a horse......

This transformation complete, Maybe thumbs through her prayre book and slowly and methodically raises the Otter back to life.
The Otter decides to practice his new powers as well, and suddenly roots grow up from the ground and pull him down, trying to bury him. Ante stepps in, and cuts the roots, noting that now would be a good time for the otter to practice a different kind of magic, as the 3 dark ones are approaching. Sem raises a wall of fire, which is promptly knocked over by Totally. He raises one wall after annother, trying each element in turn, and finally Otter figures out his spell and the entire crew are suddenly standing around in the middle of Stonehenge........

&lt;note to the posters.... WE HAD TO GET OUT OF THAT ARENA!!!

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited June 08, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

(NSP: Finally. Good way to change the arena, Sem. Also brings back that tad of action that everyone thirsts for. Can't forget the comedy though...)

*As the fighters prepare for a battle that most definately put their lives at stake, they looked up into the evening sky, where they could see the comet and the Super Star Destroyer. The two celestrial objects then proceeded to smash into each other, sending an explosion out that looked vaguely familiar to teh Death Star destruction in Return of the Jedi.*

*Meanwhile, the fighters then turned their attention back to the three dark warriors. The first was TotallyEvil, the mastermind of the three and perhaps the most evil person on the face of the planet (wasn't that a redundancy?). The second was known as Wolf, rumors say that he learned from the best of all the martial arts masters (including Bruce Lee). The third, a dark shadow, its power source drawn from Hell itself, is known as Farr. Some say he is Satan himself, or a high servent of the Evil One (some say he's a distant cousin of Randalf Flagg). Despite the high risk factor, a small audience had already gathered 'round, building staduim seating around StoneHenge.*

*As the dark trinity were about to launch into their attack, Geb held out his hand in the air.*

Geb: Wait! There's a problem...

Totally: *sigh* What is it?

Geb: My horse...it was a person...er..

Audience member: Yes, I object to having him "ride" on me.

Geb: Actually, now that I think about it-

Sem: That person had been a man before he was a horse, you know.

Geb: Eeeee....nevermind then. Can't he just be the nameless foolhardy guy who runs in first and dies while we have time to formulate a plan?

Audience member: I feel your love...

Sem: I suppose. Now Geb, remember what I've taught you. The Storywriter is your ally, and a powerful ally it is.

*With dramatics hauntingly familiar to The Empire Strikes Back, Geb reaches out his hand towards the horse and, with his hands closed, his hand shaking, and then starting to sound like he's constipated, he turns the horse back into an audience member (in the blink of an eye after the dramatics).*

audience member: Uhh..I just remembered, I got to, uhh...clean my refrigerator--bye!

Otter: Oh no you don't!

*Grabbing the guy by his collar, theOtter tosses him towards the dark three like fighbait for a pack of sharks. Like wild animals, the three jump on the audience member, and when they were finished (a whole 5.4 seconds), nothing was left. Farr let out a "mh-ha", which resembled some type of maniacal and malicious yet innocent and child-like laugh. It sent shivers down everyone's spines, even Maybechild's. Evil people after all, will hit a girl.*

*Antestarr then began to shake violently, a sif going into a convusion, or really fustrated at missing an episode of Gundam Wing.*

Ante: mmmMMMM...FREAK OUT!

*In a flash of lightning, the almost nerdy rouge with a ducky hat turned into the Antestarr we all know from "The Shadows of Darkness", trained in all the dark magics known, and a balancer to the dark trinity they faced.*

Maybe: Nice touch. Just remember everyone, evil people have feelings too.

(NSP: So y'all know, Ante, liek good ol' Freakaziod, will often switch in between his two personality states, and most likely at the most inopportune time.)
----------

"Hail to the King, baby." --Duke Nukem

~:Gebohq:~

[Semievil333]

Sem begins methodically conjuring all the elements he will need for battle.... a full suit of armor, lighter, stronger, and shinier than geb's.... a tower shield, bigger and stronger than geb's.... a short sword, faster and lighter than geb's longsword.... and of course a fire-elemental to use it all, because there's NO WAY Sem is going to step into direct combat here.
Sending the glowing apparition into combat, Sem ducks behind some nearb stones.
Farr steps up, and smites it directly in the chestplate, which is glowing red-hot because of the heat from the elemental.
Farr: "It burns.... it has tried to wound me........"
Three glowing pieces of armor and a few smoldering embers return to Sem, reporting a tactical failure.
Sem: "Geb.... I thinks maybe you might needs some practice before you fights them things.... I'll fix your armor up so it's better than what my pet had.... i thinks you gonna need it...."
Geb nods, looking dreadingly at the helm full of ashes, as the Otter and Maybe begin to fortify thier position. Sem starts up a stiff breeze with mixed pebbles and stones in it to hold off the dark trio while the Otter grows roots around the framework of stonehenge and maybe turns them into steel, referring to her prayre book every now and then.
in end result, Ante, Geb, Sem, Otter, and Maybe are left huddled together in a solid bunker to work on thier combat skills, the only light being the fire Sem is keeping alive in the very center, while the dark trio simply waits for them to come out.
Ante: "Anyone for a game of Spit?"
Ante squeaks his ducke hat and shuffels some cards enthusiastically.

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited June 08, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

*While the group cowardly hides in their shelter, Wolf and Farr begin to fight each other out of boredom. Totally yells at them for doing so, and begins to think of a plan of attack when...*

*A wonderous mystical swirl forms above Stonehenge, and who would come out of it? That's right: Uncle Tusk, with Morris the cat attached to his head.*

Morris: Good thing we got off that arena before it became one with the Super Star Destroyer. *notices three dark warriors* Oh barbaric one. Destroy them.

Tusk: Get off me, cat! And I'll do what I want. And I want to eat. Hey look, they're selling popcorn over there...

[Antestarr]

*As the cowardly crew sits in their bunker, "planning strategies" (a.k.a. playing RISK and Battleship), a large red light forms in the sky above Stonehenge. Huge hunks of metal and stone come barreling down from the sky, plowing through various audience members and popcorn vendors. The druids promptly begin a lawsuit, sueing both Ares and the Empire for "littering".*

[Antestarr]

*Antestarr stepped out of the bunker fed up with losing to TheOtter in Battleship.*

Antestarr: That's it! I challenge Farr to a duel!

*Antestarr's hands began to glow with the aura of powerful magic as he approached Farr in the center of Stonehenge. Farr continued to stare at him unimpressed. Just as he took a stance to fight, his alter-ego the Rogue took over and the whole world changed before his eyes.*

Antestarr: What the...? My sight's gone 8-bit!

Command Console: A Farr approacheth. The Farr gets the first strike. The Farr stares at you and laughs. Command?

Antestarr: Uh... Attack.

CC: Farr takes 0 damage. Farr has been poisoned. Farr takes poison damage. Farr gains 20 HP. Farr's attack. Farr speaks.

Farr: Puny fool. You are barely worth the effort.

CC: Command?

Antestarr: A little help here?

[Krig the Viking]

CC: Help command enabled. Enter one for help on moving. Enter two for help on attacking. Enter three for help on eating various forms of spinnach. Enter four...

Ante: Noooooo...

Meanwhile, behind the fiersome trio, a short figure has emerged from the shadows of a tree. Who could this be? Could it possibly be the indestructable Krig the Viking? Or is it someone else?

*Krig steps toward the trio of bad guys*

Krig: Krig hungry. Krig need food.

*Looks around for food, sees Morris the Cat*

Krig: Krig see food. Krig get food now.

*Krig draws his fiersome war-axe (which is as tall as he is, four feet) and walks toward Morris*

Krig: Here, kitty kitty kitty...

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING

[Semievil333]

Sem reaches out quickly, yanks Ante back in and seals the door.
Sem: "fool"
Sem smacks Ante for opening the door.
Farr, noticing the newcomer: "Ohhhh... it's a little gnome!"
Krig staggers suddenly an falls to the ground writhing in a grip of severe agony as Farr walks up.
Krig: "Me...... not..........GNOME!!!!!!"
Krig slashes at Farr, but the blade gets stuck in the thick aura of darkness surrounding the creature.
Wolf meanwhile has been changing his arsenal, and is now wearing brass knuckles, turning his fists into incredible 5 damage, 1 delay(about 0.05 seconds) weapons.
Seeing that this possible new ally is about to be totally poulverized, the otter quickly turns himself into a cheetah, and makes ready to run and save Krig.
Otter....errr Cheetah: "Ouch.... this leather is stiff."
Sem conjures up some water and douses him, granting full range of motion.
The Cheetah rushes out, grabs Krig, and runs back, being hit by Wolf 17 times in the space of the 2 seconds it took him.
Turning back into human (or otter) form, he sits down to wait his turn as Maybe tends to the healing of Krig.
Otter, 20 mins later, having been healed, and now in a voice up 2 registers: "Sem, *squeak* I think the water is dried.....*squeak*...."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

(NSP: Yay! Krig jumped in! Anywhos, on with da story...)

*Inside the bunker, the fighters start to get bored. After all, they only have Battleship, Risk, and some cardgames. They had a TV with no cable and an N64, with no games.*

Otter: Hey, how late does Blockbuster stay open to?

Sem: 2 in teh morning I think. What time is it now?

Geb: *looking outside* It's half-past a big rock.

Sem: That was utterly NOT helpful...

Maybe: Did anyone ever think about fighting these creeps outside?

*Everyone looks at Maybechild, and then proceeds to laugh outloud.*

Ante: So, what should we get? I say it should be a fighting game...

Otter: How about Killer Instinct 2?

Ante: Nah, that game sucks--

*As the word "sucks" was uttered, Uncle Tusk's ears regerstered them, and, with as much fury as having to see his cat again, leaped at hte bunker, bringing his sword down upon the roof and splitting it in half.*

Tusk: How DARE you call Killer Instinct 2 a BAD GAME! I will--hey, a fellow barbarian. I'm Uncle Tusk.

krig: Me Krig. Krig hungry. Krig want to eat furry cat.

Tusk: I'm thinking we'll be good friends, you and I...

*Tusk and Krig walk out the new opening in the bunker, and as they depart, teh dark three loom over the fighters within, smiling big evil grins. The fighters then proceed to pray like they never prayed before, and to as many gods as they can think of.*

[Semievil333]

Sem: "Otter, get us TF out of here!!!"
The Otter is doused with annother splash of water from Sem and Sem makes a mental note to conjure up some new clothes for him, as that leather really isn't going to feel good when it dries...
Otter: "I'm on it allready....."
A portal begins to open around each of the adventurers in turn, but the Otter (as in all dramatic situations) needs an incredible ammount of time.....
Sem begins freezing up all of Wolf's apendages, slowing him down to an almost managable speed.
Geb, fool that he is, takes on Totally, his shield miraculously holding up to 3 hits before simply collapsing like a cardboard box before a vulcan cannon.
off in the corner Maybe gets up, puts away her little book, and begins to say a prayre. Red sparks fly from her fingers and suddenly a giant hand(presumablty that of whatever god she happens to be invocing) comes down from the sky and swats farr off to the side. Sem has been conjuring some things off to the side and now tosses Gebohq a brning shield and sword, which he arms himself with, and manages to keep Totally at bay.
Suddenly they all find themselves standing in the middle of a ring of redwoods, each connected to the two on either side by wooden footbridges. On a platform in each tree stood a druid, dressed in simply dark brown robes, with green light eminating from thier hands.
Otter "We're here."
Geb: "Great, I need to be healed pretty badly, ....Maybe?"
Maybe: "No-go.... that last little smite left me out of mana."
Ante: "ma-na?"
Sem: "The measure of the supernatural energy used to cast spells. In order to cast a given spell a certain concentration is needed."
Geb: "So..... sort of like Karma.... with a "M" right?"
Otter: "Almost....."
Sem sighs heavily, and sits down to regenerate his own mana and to make a robe for Otter.
Meanwhile Geb gets struck by a lightning blot by one of the druids for trying to see if the new shield and sword Sem gave him would light a tree on fire......

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

&lt;Yes, it is true, the great Krig has deigned to grace this thread with his presence.&gt;

A druid just like the ones in the surrounding trees steps out of the low underbrush. He walks up to the party.

"Hello, my name is Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing."

Gebohq peered at the druid with squinty eyes. "What was your name again?"

The druid looked startled. "Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing."

Ante tried to pronounce it "Undramondiginonhafabigmajicabong?"

The druid's eyes widened "I most certainly am not! I am Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing, you fool!"

Ante looked at the ground "Now you've hurt my feellings..."

Gebohq stood up strait and tried to look heroic. "What is it you require of us, oh great and probably venerable druid?"

The druid looked to the sky. "I have heard that you are trying to defeat the villanous Totallyevil."

Sem spoke up "Not really, we just got here. Anyways, that's my sister..."

At his words, the druids all drew back into the trees. "Stay back, Evil Ones!"

Sem looked around in confusion. "What'd I say?"

Otter stepped in front of Sem, his armour creaking (And starting to chafe) "No, you've got it all wrong! We're not evil! Only he is!" He pointed at Sem.

"Begone!" Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing waved his arm and Sem dissapeared to parts unknown.

"Now you've gone and done it" Maybe grumbled to Otter.

The druid returned to the party "Now that the great evil has departed from our presence, I may tell you of the way to defeat the greater evil that threatens our land, in the form of a lass named Totallyevil."

Ante stopped feeling sad because of his hurt feelings and spoke. "Well, she wasn't really threatening the land, just us..."

"SILENCE! You would doubt the great Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing?"

"Uh, not really..."

"SILENCE! You will speak when spoken to!"

Otter, disturbed by the behavior of his fellow druids, sidled up to Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing. "So, what was it you were going to tell us?"

The other druid looked befuddled. "Ah.. um... oh, yes. I shall tell you how to defeat her. You must go on a long and dangerous quest to find the sword Excal... er... Porkus Malorkis. Only the great Malorkis may defeat the sheer evil of Totallyevil!"

Just then a short Viking figure and a tall... Tuskish figure appeared in the clearing, running like mad.

Uncle Tusk cried out,"Help, we are being pursued by our dinner!"

Behind them, Morris the Cat bounded out of the underbrush, licking his lips.

[TheOtter]

*Uncle Tusk and Krig jump into the arms of Otter and tremble in fear from Morris, whom is still licking his lips and eyeing the fiendish duo*

Otter:"OK. Now Uncle Tusk and Krig what do you have to say to Morris?"

Tusk & Krig:"Uhh...we're sorry...

Krig(whilst biting his knuckle):"...that you have to look so yummy!"

¤and leaps @ Morris¤

*Morris just looks confused and when Krig lunges @ him, he just swallows him whole*

¤everyone gasps in unison¤

Otter(w/ a shocked look on his face):"Uhh..Morris! buddy, pal! you don't want to eat Krig do you?"

*W/ Krig's foot still hanging out, Morris nods his head and smiles*

Otter(getting angry):"Aw, come on! Gnomes don't even taste good!"

*Krig prys open Morris' mouth*

Krig(even angrier):"IAM NOT A GNOME!"

*Morris again shuts his mouth*

Otter(fed up):"Augh! Come on, Morris! Drop it, drop it!"

*Morris looks @ Otter, rolls his eyes, and releases Krig*

Krig(panting and in a pool of saliva):"Its as hot as a b*tch in thar!"



------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

[Semievil333]

Narrator: "Holy mother of a fat alligator's rotten corpse batman! Sem's in trouble! He just got expulsed by a druid!"
Sem, in the black deapths of the unknown, wanders about aimlessly.
Sem: "ouch! this depth of the unknown is too cluttered, I keep running into things."
Sem lights a finger, and surveys the scene.
It's amazing, armor, swords, shields scattered everywhere.
(Inventory of what Sem picked out):
Geb:
Holy paladin armor of Or
Belt of HHGoA(Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch)
Shield of the Smash'in Bash'in
Sword of the Extrordinary Whoop-***
Maybe:
Armor of the Self-Rightious
EvilBane MorningStar
Canticle of Canticles(new prayre book)
Otter:
Armor of Oak
Fertalizer of Rampant Growth
Staff of the Passive Observers
Ante:
Ravenscale Armor(to blend into shadows)
Poisoned Rapier
Poisoned Thumb Tack
Belt of Throwing Knives
Sem:
Giant Tree Flayer
Robe of the Elements
Bottle of the Slain Drunkard
Staff of Elemental Mastery
Krig:
Axe of Remarkable Smack-Down-Laying
Nickle-Plated Sissy-Pistol
Shield of the Slain Prince of Nairb
Lightning-Struck Armor
Sem steps casually out of Morris' mouth and begins taking his vengence on Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing by setting to work on the trees with his new tree flayer.
Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing: "Stop that, NOW!!!"
Sem: "Bugger off."
Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing attempts to make the wind blow Sem away, but Sem's new staff gives him much greater power and the druids (except the otter) blow away in a stiff breeze.
Sem, indicating Morris: "You can find the wierdest stuff in there...."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Gebohq]

*At hearing the distress of...the long-named one, the other bards scamper towards the fighters and proceed to surround the group, poking then with sausages. Sem was about to disperse them when Gebohq spoke up.*

Geb: Don't Sem, it's unfair and against the Geneva code.

Sem: So?

Ante: What he's trying to say is it'll be a lot more interesting if we let the bards take our stuff and stick us in a difficult predicament.

Sem: Damn. Hey, why isn't theOtter getting tied up like the rest of us?

Maybe: Cuz they see him as the great Otter-Bard god. If that isn't a sign that the world is coming to an end, I don't know what is.

*Meanwhile, the bards (who look suspiciously like Ewoks) tie all but theOtter over firepits.*

Will the next post succumb to using the bit from "Return of the Jedi", or use some brilliant new twist? Haha, you have to read to find out, haha-ow! *Narrator slumps over*

[MaybeChild]

Recognizing the all-too-familiar predicament and getting impatient rather swiftly, Maybe heaves a heavy sigh and starts muttering a prayer to get them the hell out of there. The cooking fires under them suddenly go out, the bards disappear, and they are freed from their bonds. (nevermind the fact that they all go crashing to the ground)

MaybeChild (standing up and brushing herself off): Alright, are we going to go kick some evil @$$ or what? I swear, working with men is so FRUITLESS sometimes!

Geb: Hey! We're not fruity!

Sem: FruitLESS, not fruity, stupid... *sigh* Yeah, let's go, Maybe.

Maybe and Sem start to gather together their wits and their magic, and Otter starts to follow suit. Soon Sem transports them all back to Stonehenge where the dark trinity is still idling.

Totally (watching Farr and Wolf duke it out): Cut it out you two! You're both on the same side! (Farr groans disappointedly and takes another pot shot at Wolf)

Suddenly the three evil ones sense the presence of the band of EQ types and turn around. They see Maybe and Sem at the center of a somewhat impressive, movie cliche, shoulder-to-shoulder lineup that includes Otter, Antestarr, Geb, Tusk, and that weird little viking dude. The evil ones' faces become contorted with anger and they face off for battle.

Maybe (quietly, to her compatriots): Wolf is mine.

The good guys split up to handle the bad guys, and it ends up being Sem, Geb, and Tusk against Totallyevil and Antestarr, Otter, and Krig vs Farr. MaybeChild goes to face off against Wolf alone.
Wolf stands before Maybe, smugly doing his staff thing. Rolling her eyes, she points & mutters and a mere tongue of flame reduces Wolf's precious staff to ashes. Proud of herself, Maybe smirks at the now lonely Wolf. Then Wolf realizes he should be mad and starts circling MaybeChild. Meanwhile, she whips out a nail file and starts idly filing away, wondering how much of her time this idiot is going to waste. Finally she gets bored of Wolf not lunging and tells him off.

MC: Ya know, this is a fight. You might wanna do something, ya know, violent?
Wolf: Oh yeah... right.

Wolf leaps at Maybe, and like lightning she spins, her long braid lashing out and striking Wolf across the face with enough force to knock him aside. As he tumbles to the ground, a conjured blaze surrounds him. He yelps with each attempt to get through.

Maybe (almost feeling sorry for him): aww, poor little puppy... Ok enough of that. (puts out the fire and steps up to Wolf) Is that all you've got?

Wolf stands up to his full height and towers over the diminutive MaybeChild. In one fluid motion, he engulfs her in his trench coat, where she finds herself in stifling darkness. Finally she realizes that there isn't much inside that coat, especially in the chest region where a heart should be. Emitting a low hum that turns into a chant, Maybe creates a soft aura of light that grows inside the far reaches of the emptiness within the trench coat. Outside the coat, Wolf is beginning to enjoy what he thinks will soon be a victory, as soon as the pesky cleric-ess runs out of air in that vacuum space. Unfortunately for him, the light she is creating keeps growing and growing, filling the empty space that he is, until finally he explodes in a sticky, bloody mess.

Maybe (standing where Wolf was, amid tattered scraps of leather and splotches of blood here and there): That was easier than I thought...

(PS~ Sorry about the lack of humor, Scott; I just had to do this *eg*)

[This message has been edited by MaybeChild (edited June 14, 2000).]

[Semievil333]

While the battle with Farr appears to be going well,(It stands encircled, with throwingknives sticking out of the darkness, a lone thumbtack in it's back and various animals attacking it from all sides at Otter's control) Totally is taking a bit more of a pounding.
Geb is fighting a largish skeleton on his own, his Whoop-*** sword having only taken out a few minor carpals, and his shield beginning to give way.
Sem has allready sent 3 pets after totally, who dispatched them all. Tusk, frankly, isn't doing jack.
Meanwhile all 3 are poisoned, have developed fevers, and are having minor, periodic heart attacks, not to mention thier blood is being heated to dangerous levels.....
Maybe walks over, and Sem notices something out of the corner of his eye.
Sem, laying on the ground, rather weakly: "Maybe!"
Geb turns to see what's wrong, and the skeleton punches him directly in the breastplate, then falls apart, and turns to dust, because undead creatures really shouldn't touch holy paladin items.
Wolf has been risen from the dead.... well most of him.... there are a few parts missing.... and is now lumbering vengefully towards Maybe, who Geb runs in and shields from several kicks, while Sem orders the earth to bury Wolf.
Sem: "Maybe! Totally's a Necro! You have to bless the graves or she'll raise them!"
Sem then goes delirious from the fever and starts periodically convulsing, and Geb starts to look not-so-good himself.......

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[Krig the Viking]

Krig, standing calmly in the middle of a raging battle, suddenly smiles. His left eye twitches, and he explodes into action! With a feral growl, he launches himself at Geb, and starts gnawing on his heroic looking shield! Geb tries to shake him off, but to no avail!

"Hey, um, you! Little Viking Dude! What are you doing?" Geb continues to try to shake Krig off.

Krig stops gnawing on the shield, and climbs to the ground. "Krig sorry. Geb shield look tasty."

Just then, Totallyevil bonks Geb on the back of the head with some kind of magicky thing. He falls unconcious.

Uncle Tusk: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Uncle Tusk, thinking that Geb is dead, charges into the battle to avenge Geb's death.

Just then, everybody but Uncle Tusk falls to the ground, unconcious from some kinda unconcious type spell. Or possibly Krig's armpit smell.

Will our heroes wake up in time to save themselves? Or will they be captured and put in some type of dungeon? Will they ever go on a big Quest for the mighty and mythical sword, Malorkus? Will I ever shut up? No, I don't think so!

------------------
My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

KRIG THE VIKING

[MaybeChild]

Hours later, everyone comes to and sees Krig snacking on some of the parts of Wolf that went kablooey. After glancing around, one to the other, everyone jumps up and resumes the battle exactly where they left off, even Geb who runs his head into a tree so that he'll be unconscious.
As Sem convulses, Maybe rushes into action, whipping out her oldest and thickest prayer book. She leaps dramatically in front of Totallyevil, who happens to be blocking her way to Wolf.

Totally: You think you can smite me with your prayers?
Maybe: Actually? No. (hauls back and whaps Totally upside the head with her prayer book, sending the evil one sprawling to the ground) Jeez, did she think I was actually gonna READ this ancient thing?

As Maybe steps over the temporarily out-of-commission Totallyevil, what is left of Wolf gets out of the dirt and ready to defend itself. But before Maybe can attack, Sem convulses his way to her feet and, ever so weakly, *****es at her.

Sem: A little help here, perhaps?
Maybe: Whoops, sorry Sem. (takes a cross from around her neck and whips out another, smaller prayer book) Hold on, I gotta find it...
Sem (impatient and even more hoarse): JUST DO IT!
Maybe: Yeesh, okay. (mutters a healing prayer as Sem grows progressively stronger) Now, gimme a minute to shmite Wolf again.
Sem: Do it right this time...
Maybe: O ye of little faith...

Maybe stands up to her full (albeit diminutive) height and goes to face Wolf (again). Seeing her raise the big prayer book again, Wolf laughs and ducks at (what he thinks is) the right moment for her strike. Which turns out to be a dumb move, because Maybe whips out her hand from behind her back, bringing her cross swinging up right through Wolf's... uh, body... yeah (decided I'd spare the guys some pain in reading this post). As the cross cuts him clean in half, Wolf lets out an unnatural yelp and calls to Totally. Unfortunately for him, Sem has already called the ground up to swallow Wolf, and no sooner has Wolf been buried than Maybe is laying a blessing on his impromptu grave. Wiping the dirt from her hands as she walks from the grave (no one was saved), Maybe turns to see Totally coming up behind Sem.

Maybe: SEM! GET DOWN!
Sem (looking around): huh? what? S***!!! (he throws himself to the ground as from Maybe's outstretched palm comes a holy flame that engulfs Totally until the evil chick somehow overcomes it and looks around for her brother who has apparently run away) NOT QUITE! (Sem comes from behind and jumps on Totally's back, in a vain attempt to tackle her)
Maybe (sighing): Oh boy... (gets out a rosary-like talisman, starts swinging it around like a lasso, and one with which she is quite good, as she manages to get it around Totally's neck while missing Sem)
Sem dismounts and starts hog-tying his sister when suddenly, a tangled mess of Otter, Antestarr, and Farr falls on top of the two "evil" siblings with Farr laughing hysterically.

Farr: mm-ha!

Just then, out of the sky, there lands a huge Big Boy. Everyone freezes and gasps as the seat of its pants opens and a figure appears at the top of the ramp. Everyone, that is, except Krig.

Krig: All you can eat buffet!

------------------
"Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!" ~Hair

[Krig the Viking]

As slow realization slowly penetrates Krig's brain, he suddenly spits out the piece of Wolf he had been chewing on.

"Ugh! Icky! Krig no like! Taste yucky!" He looks around wild eyed at the group, and the figure at the top of the ramp. "Krig no hungry now. Wolf tast ucky."

[Semievil333]

Noting a chance to get away, Sem looses no time in cracking open an old enchanter's tome. As he calls earth together to form boulders and large rocks, he quickly casts illusions on all the aventurers, making them look like rocks to blend in.
Totally: "S***!"
Farr: "F***!"
(the late)Wolf: "....."

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

[This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited June 15, 2000).]

[MaybeChild]

Now furious, Totally Evil looks up to the ramp.

Totally: It's about time you got here, dad! Tell me you brought the "laser" with you; I gotta blast all these rocks.
Dr. Evil: But Totally, I thought you and your brother got along well...

------------------
"Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!" ~Hair

[Krig the Viking]

Dr. Evil, extending hand: "Sem... I am your father."

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited June 16, 2000).]

[Gebohq]

What's that you say? Hey everyone! It's Shaft!

*Just then, Shaft entered, putting the public's eye soley on him. This left the growing soap opra between Dr. Evil and his children and the dark trio in the dark. I mean, let's face it, wouldn't you loose interest in everything else if Shaft, the man, were there?*

Antestarr: Damn, it's Shaft. None of us have a chance at any of the women now.

Gebohq: Like we ever had one.

Otter: Speak for yourself, I still say I'm the lady's man...

*The other two give theOtter skeptical looks*

Latest character #47 (whomever that may be): Does anyone else think that the audience is lost in all these new chaarcters that are appearing?

Audience member: Nah, we're too lost in the plot that we're starting to doubt exists to be lost in the characters.