<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Burrie|WatchingFromTheShadows holds up a skeleton's head. "= or !=. That is the statement."</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Rod-Nog:
"I'd be interested to hear you do something like Krig the Viking did with Tracer's "The Mystery Box" post.
...though anything from the ISB would be fine by me, really."

What?

</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">*In the Hall of Heroes...*

Otter: "I say we open it. It's a clear-cut case of reverse psychology."

CookedHaggis: "Now look here, man -"

Otter: "A clear-cut case, I tell you!"

CookedHaggis: "Will you let me finish?"

Otter: "Objection!"

CookedHaggis: "What is the problem with you?"

Otter: "I want to relive my old courtroom days. It's a lawyer's life for me."

CookedHaggis: "I'm fairly certain you've never been to law school."

Otter: (sung) You can poll the jury! You can raise a fury!"

CookedHaggis: "You obviously have no interest in what I've got to say. Therefore, I shall take up our discussion with Kyle."

Otter: "Go ahead. I'm off to the courthouse!"

*Otter leaves, and Haggis begins speaking to a sullen Kyle7.*

CookedHaggis: "Right then. Now, the box has been marked "do not open", which is clearly intended to manipulate us into opening the box, and unleashing whatever destructive forces are contained within. You see, whoever placed the box in it's current position knew precisely how certain gullible members of our ragtag organization would react to a given set of orders - knew that they would feel an unnatural compulsion to do the opposite of what they were told."

Kyle: "I just found my long-lost brother, only to have him disown me. Do you really think I care about some box you found?"

CookedHaggis: "...Ergo, the box should not be opened. Oh, buck up, chap - there are greater things in life than family. Mystery boxes, for example..."

Kyle: "Interesting as you box explanation is, I could really use someone to talk to right now. Would you take the time to listen to my story?"

CookedHaggis: "Is it about boxes?"

*Suddenly, Sarn_Cadrill comes running into the HoH.*

Sarn: "Hey guys, you won't believe the adventure I just had! There was a princess, and some kind of monster that tried to eat me or something, and before that I had to deal with these obnoxious kids - hey, is that a box?"

*To the horror of CookedHaggis, Sarn grabs the box and tears open its flaps. Naturally, a devestating explosion is released.*

CookedHaggis: "My God! Is everyone alright?"

Kyle: (coughing) "I'll be okay...and thanks for caring."

*The entire room is heavily charred, as are the heroes. Kyle approaches Sarn's comatose body and tentatively prods it with his foot as Maybe arrives with the whole pirate crew.*

Gebohq: "It's a pirate's life for - sweet God, what have you people done?"

CookedHaggis: "Some wise character decided to leave us with a booby-trapped box."

MaybeChild: "Is Sarn alright?"

Kyle: (shakes head) "He's dead, Jim - er, Sran. Sarn. MaybeChild. "

Butch: "I'll summon medical assistance!"

*Butch rushes to a nearby telephone, and dials the British equivalent of 911. The heroes wait in trepidition as the wailing sirens of the speeding emergency vechiles get louder...*</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">[Edit: I hate Geo#$%^ies. If you get a "not available for viewing" error, give it some time (maybe an hour) and come back.]

[Edit: It's back. I repeat, DO NOT CLICK ON IT, or my entire site will go down for 5mins for external linkage (omg I r bad lolarz).]

Due to circumstances beyond my control (FTP issues), I can't upload files exceeding 1.5mb in size to my normal, non-sucky webhost. So you'll need to right-click save-target-as to download this from Geo#$%^ies. Thanks for your cooperation. </font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Swarms of giant demonic rats close in on our heroes--

Gettle: Are you sure they're demonic?

JorBo: Of course they are, nimrod! It's HELL!

Gettle: Oh yeah.

--ahem. As I was saying, swarms of giant demoic rats close in on our heroes, making the situation grim.

Haggis: Quick! Sacrafice The Machine That Goes Bing! to it and perhaps they'll be appeased!

CookedHaggis smacks TMTGB out of Gettleburger's arms.

Gettle: NOO!!!

TMTGB: Bing!

When it appeared as if TMTGB would be swarmed (yes, I like that word) and lost within the midst of giant demonic rats, TMTGB spewed forth a stream of inky oil at them, holding them back somewhat. That is when Gebohq thought of a brilliant idea!

Geb: I just thought of a brilliant idea! ...no wait, no I didn't. I just thought about wanting to see some porn.

*sigh*

ABSOLVER then thinks of a brilliant idea!

Absolver: ....er, I do? I'm not sure doing flips and crazy slow-motion gun-shooting action could really work, but if that's the plan--

Nevermind...

Highemp: Do you need me to help out again?

NO! You're uh... still brooding over your mysterious plans that the other heroes don't know about.

Highemp: Oh yeah, that's right.

Geb: Mysterious plans? What's this now--

Ford: OH! I have a brilliant plan!

No you don't!

Ford: What do you mean "I don't"?

I mean you don't have a plan.

Ford: Why not?

Because I said so.

Ford: But it's a good plan!

JorBo: Uh....guys?

JorBo points worriedly at the swarm of rats, now nearly swimming to try and pass TMTGB and to our heroes where they will undoubtedly do nasty things to them.

Oh fine. Go ahead with your "brilliant plan"!

Ford then summons his Chessire Zippo.

Chessire Zippo: What now?

Ford: Could you ignite that over there?

Chessire Zippo: Oh fine...

The CZ then floats over to the stream that TMTGB is spewing, now almost exhausting his supply within itself, and lights the stream on fire, sending the entire pool of inky oil, and the rats swimming in it, blazing. With that, the CZ then disappears.

Gettle: What an ingenious idea!

JorBo: Did anyone care to remember that this is HELL!?

The heroes then notice that the giant demonic rats are still there, with giant demonic smiles, as they are now gaint demonic FLAMING rats.

Brilliant Plan there.

Ford: Hush you.

Highemp: I'm brooding....brooding-brooding-brooding....oh my, we sure are in a pickle now...

Haggis: DO SOMETHING ALREADY!

Geb: No wait! I think I have an idea....

Gebohq whips out his "Ban" antipersperant stick with one hand and a water-spritzer in the other.

Geb: Best way to rid yourself of flamers!

Absolver: Er...Geb. That's not Ban anti-persperant. It's Old Bay. And your water-spritzer is broken.

Geb: I KNEW I should have gotten that thing fixed before...

Just then, a portal opens, and an arrow with a note attached to it flys by them, hitting a nearby beam. Gebohq reads it.

----------------------------------------------
Dear Gebo...er..dear Geb,

We need u w/ us. We wuld lik it veree much. Pleeze, pleeze respond!

Signed,

The new guys of the NeS team
---------------------------------------------------

JorBo: WHEEE! An Escape route!

JorBo jumps through the portal, and it instantly dissapears.

Geb: So much for getting supplies...

Just then, the rats run away terrified.

Ford: Why did they jsut run away?

Highemp: I think I know why....

The heroes look over to CookedHaggis, who is now in a female hooker outfit.

Geb: Thanks Haggis--good plan.

Haggis: What plan?

Geb: You mean the whole drag queen look was...er...

Haggis: ....?

Geb: Nevermind.

The heroes trek forth in search of the gate into the 7th circle of hell.

The heroes have lost JorBo now! Will our heroes still manage to march into the depths of hell and stop Gate's evil plan to rule over TACC at the root of the problem? Tune in next time, here at the Never-ending Story Thread: A TACC Comedy!</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
Helebon: this is getting annoying... shoot him...

General Cheesebucket: our guns seem to have no effect

Helebon: I mean shoot him with a tank you fool!
</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Suddenly, a large gigantic robotic Chimi-changa bursts through a large stone door. It bounds up to the Elite Troopers and eats them. It also eats Ares for dessert. Then it turns to the ever-growing group of main characters, and stares at them lettuce, foaming from it's mouth.

Gebohq wipes out a Star Trek(tm) Phaser and fires at the Chimi-Changa. Nothing happens.

Gebohq: Confounded! That Chimi-Changa must be evolutionarily resistant to phasers.

Randy: Aren't almost all Alien Life forms evolutionarily resistant to phasers?

Sarn_Cadrill: Of course not! There is no such thing as evolution!

Morat: What! Any scientically minded Homo Sapien can rationally realize the validity of the scientific theory of...

The Chimi-Changa, who hates both Religion and Politics threads eats Morat and Sarn.

Geb brings up his Ominous-sounding gun and aims it at the Chimi-Changa.

Ominous-Sounding Gun: DUN DUN DUN!!!

He pulls the trigger and is imediately sent flying through a large stone wall, destroying it. The energy ball misses the Chimi-Changa and destroyes a priceless portrait of some old famous person

Geb: That gun seems to have to much recoil!

Phantom (In concieted foriegn scientist accent): Perceptive of you! But now's not the time to psycho-analyze the working mechanisms of made-up firearms. Our main characters are dropping like flies!

Randy: Oh, they'll come back. They always do.

Gebohq: Does anyone have experience with fighting food?

Otter: Uh... I was in a FOOD FIGHT once.

Waiter/Cooked/Cooked_Haggis: I am food...

The Chimi-Changa turns and bounds towards our heroes.

Suddenly another wooden door opens. Out steps... Janitor Bob!

Janitor Bob: Uh... is this Salk Middle School?

Cooked: You can't write YOURSELF into a thread. That's bad form!

Janitor Bob: This is the never-ending story thread.

Cooked: Oh, yeah. Never mind.

The Janitor turns and stares at the immense Chimi-Changa

Janitor Bob: Woah! Looks like somebody forgot to clean up the cafeteria.

Bob swings his pushbroom around, martial arts style. Then he bats the Chimi-Changa into a Geranium plant. Salsa splatters everywhere. The Chimi-Changa slowly gets up, wounded and angry...</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">As everyone stands there frightened Otter gets an idear.

Otter:"Oh yeah I forgot."

Otter waves his hands around and sends the demon through a vortex. Everyone sighs in relief.

Maybe:"Uh..Otter? Where exactly DID you send the demon?"

Otter:"Hmm...to tell ya the truth I don't really know..."

Ante:"Oh well thats just ****ing great! You don't even know WHERE you teleport people! What the heck are you gonna do next tel--"

Otter(with an evil grin):"Would like to find out WHERE he went, Ante?"(points to still open vortex)

Ante "Uh...hehe...thats Uh, quite alright."

Otter:"Alright then. Lets leave it at that then."(closes vortex)

¤Flash to a Canadian Parliement hearing¤

Head Barrister:"Would the real gentleman from Saskatchewan please stand up, please stand up."

Head Barrister(to himself):"They really need to fix that echo problem."

Man from Saskatchewan:"Yes, thank you sir. I would like to bring to attention line 47 of paragraph 8 of the Candian Constitution which states that under certain conditions a Canadian citizen can hunt beaver during the mon--"(interrupted by giggling)

Man from Saskatchewan(angrily):"Prince Edward Island! New Brunswick! What seems to be so funny?"

The man from PEI and the man from New Brunswick look at each other and start to giggle again.

Man from Saskatchewan(even angrier):"Well?! What is it?"

Man from PEI:"Its just that you uh said,(man from New Brunswick starts to laugh again)...'beaver'.

The whole Parliement starts to roar in laughter except for the angry man from Saskatchewan and the man from Quebec that accidentally left his ear translator at home

Man from Quebec:"Quá? Je c'est con bleu? Saque pon le bute!"

Suddenly a vortex appears on the floor and the demon is thrown out of it.

Man from Quebec(stands up):"Je se con le 'BEAVER'!"(and starts to laugh histerically)

The demon cocks his head at the man from Quebec, then points his finger at him, instantly exploding him in a flame of fire.

Everyone in Parliement starts to clap.

Smiling, the Head Barrister takes off wig and places it on demon's head, the demon looks around and grins.</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Gebohq
Moderator
0xBAA posted December 25, 2003 03:41 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(NSP: You wish, Tracer! Let the pro write up a post chock-full of Christmas cheer, on Christmas day! Well, some of it anyway. Feel free to continue it .)
A NEVER-ENDING STORY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2003!

STARRING (in no particular order):

Gebohq as "Bob Cratchit"

Highemperor as "Ebenezer Scrooge"

Janitor Bob as "Jacob Marley"

Darkside as "The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come

JediKirby as "Tiny Tim"

Krig the Viking as "Santa Claus"

The Machine That Goes Bing! as "Rudolph"

CookedHaggis as "Frosty the Snowman"

Cool Matty as "Pitiful Child #1"

The Mega ZZter as "Pitiful Child #2"

Mavispoo as "Mother"

The Last True Evil as "Wise Man #1"

Ford as "Wise Man #2"

Semievil as "Wise Man #3"

Losien as "Angel"

The Otter as "Joseph"

Maybechild as "Mary"

and Tracer as "George Bailey"

It is Christmas Eve, on the streets of London--

Random Audience Member: Hey, wait a minute! This sounds a lot like the last Christmas special.

Watch it. You're cast as a Random Christmas Elf.

RAM/RCE: That's not cool!

But the figure in a dark overcoat about to enter his office building is. Or rather, he's cold. Cold to the needs of his fellow men. He is known as Ebenezer Scrooge.

Highemperor/Scrooge: Bah Humbug! I'll bump off Santa Claus, then be ruler of the most powerful holiday on Earth!

*ahem*

Highemperor/Scrooge: Er, I mean, Christmas is a pointless, misrable holiday. Just another waste of money. (Still going to bump Santa off his sleigh...)

Scrooge enters his office, where Bob Crachit sits writing away.

Highemp/Scrooge: Mr. Crachit!

Gebohq/Crachit: Yes, Mr. Scrooge?

Highemp/Scrooge: Work faster!

Geb/Crachit: Yes, Mr. Scrooge.

Time passes...

Geb/Crachit: Mr. Scrooge?

Highemp/Scrooge: What now?

Geb/Crachit: I believe it's closing time, sir.

Highemp/Scrooge: Closing time already? Didn't I just get here a few seconds ago?

Geb/Crachit: Uh... time flies when you're having fun?

Highemp/Scrooge: Right. See you tomorrow then.

Geb/Crachit: But Mr. Scrooge, tomorrow is Christmas!

Highemp/Scrooge: And?

Geb/Crachit: It's customary to have the day off.

Highemp/Scrooge: The whole day? You lazy bum!

Geb/Crachit: If you will, Mr. Scrooge, you will have no one else to do business with, and it'll be a waste of expensive coal for the fire.

Highemp/Scrooge: Excuses excuses... fine. Be off then, and I expect you to be here all the earlier the next day!

Geb/Crachit: Whee!

Highemp/Scrooge: Did you finish your work?

Geb/Crachit: Um...er... *gebs it*

Highemp/Scrooge: *sigh*

Scrooge closed up shop for the night, and made his way home. Upon arriving, he is greeted by a... tall man in a business suit?

Highemp/Scrooge: GAH! What are you doing here?

Jim7: I am the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come. Can't you tell by the moody darkness?

Highemp/Scrooge: Wait a minute -- you're not suppose to be here! I still have to be haunted by my dead business partner, Jacob Marley. And what about the other two Christmas spirits? And I thought the script called for Darkside to be the Ghost of Christmas Future.

Jim7: Yeah, see, the janitor was tied up with something else, and Darkside got called in to replace one of Santa's Christmas elves.

Zip to the North Pole.

Darkside: Stupid toy-making.

Zip back to London.

Jim7/GoCF: So yeah, I'm filling in. Deal with it.

Highemp/Scrooge: We're not going to follow the script again, aren't we?

Jim7/GoCF: Who knows. Anyway, you're still going to visit your past and current Christmases as well. Before that, though, better say this now in case the Christmas special gets cancelled earlier. MERRY CHRISTMAS! OK, now Hold on while I smack you with the Baseball Bat of Time...

Highemp/Scrooge: Huh?

Jim7/Scrooge: Nothing.

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come smacks Scrooge with a baseball bat.

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited December 25, 2003).]

IP: Logged

Ford
Member
0x0FF posted December 26, 2003 12:54 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Highemp/Scrooge is blasted foreward two days
Highemp/Scrooge: I thought i was supposed to be sent to the future.

Jim7/GoCP: you know the budget for these things.

Highemp/Scrooge: Ah, right.

Scrooge looks around in wonder at the ruins of the city of london.

H/S: What's happened? The city was fine a couple days ago!

J/G: Well, your continued burning of coal in these modern times caused environmentalists to go on a rampage which caused a riot throughout the country, which decimated the population of britain and brought down the monarchy.

H/S: Humbug. this was supposed to happen years from now. How will i ever hope to gain power now? No one knows who i am!

J/G: You're not.

Just then, a familiar figure walks in stage left.

Geb/Crachet: Hello!

J/G: Just in time! Happy Boxing Day to you, O Suprememe Lord and Savior!

G/C: Aw, shucks, you're just saying that! Really, all i did was tell people to calm down, Scrooge was dead and there would be no more coal burning. See, i came in christmas morning(old habits die hard you see, i've had to work on christmas every year previous) and found Mr. Scrooge beaten and bloodied on the floor of his counting room. Thats when the riots started. Nutters i tell ya.

H/S: Holy Crap! what am i supposed to do now?

Will the christmas special be continued, or will this be dropped like a fly in a pestecide factory? who knows? The Shadow Knows....

RAM: You've used that joke before

Ford the Writer: Quiet you.

------------------
<Dormouse> there are very few things quite as comforting as smelling like a close friend.

We are only human, perfect in our imperfections. - Erin amie du Dor

<Dormouse> it's really cute in the way that a sherman tank with a fuzzy steering wheel is cute

IP: Logged

Krig_the_Viking
Member
0x32E posted December 27, 2003 11:49 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HighempScrooge: "So, it's two days in the future, right?"
JimGhostofChristmasYetToCome: "Er, yes, I said that already, moron."

HighempScrooge: "And you're the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, right?"

JimGhost: "Yes!"

Highemp: "So if we're only two days in the future, it's not Christmas anymore, is it?"

JimGhost: "Er..."

Highemp: "Aha! Your power over me is useless now that it is no longer Christmas! I'm free!"

JimGhost: "Hey, now wait a minute..."

*Highemp wanders away, cackling and gloating, as miserly and crochety as ever. No Christmas Spirit was learned, and the story ends without a moral.*

JimGhost: "@%#^$. They shouldn't get the apparent Prince of Darkness to teach people the true meaning of Christmas."

Is the Christmas Interlude over? Or is this just a trick, false ending? Is Jim7 really Satan himself? If so, why is he helping the good guys? Answers to these questions and also the meaning of life, next time on the Never-ending Stooooryyyyy.... Squaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrreddddddd... [echo, echo, echo...]

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited December 27, 2003).]</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Edward:
That's fun! Now, if only there was someone with the equel amount of spare time to animate soem stuff to these voices. Either Flash or Jedi KnightS (Jedi KnightS = JK, MotS, JO, JA. AKA JKS).

/Edward</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Sarn_Cadrill:
This stuff is awesome... You guys are so cool. Someone do my scene with the obnoxious camp kids (alluded to earlier)... I don't know where it is, and don't have time to find it now, but I'm sure Geb could. I should think there could be some fun in that...

Btw, of all my voices, I think I like the first one best.

</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">*Meanwhile, somewhere in a dark forest, a hand like a claw shot up through the loose dirt. The hand, caked in dark mud, fondled about searching for a hold of something, anything with which to pull. Finally, it grasped the root of a gnarled, old tree. Ever so slowly, the hand began to pull. As it did, and arm was revealed attached to it, then an elbow and a shoulder. With a triumphant grunt, the head of the great hero Sarn_Cadrill appeared from beneath the dirt.

Sarn pulled himself out of the dirt slowly, muttering to himself about never taking advice from a hero trainer again. His clothing was streaked with dirt and sweat and was very rumpled. Calmly he stood and tried to brush off some of the dirt.

Sarn: That was my best shirt too... If I ever see that so called hero trainer again...

Suddenly, Sarn notices a light flashing through the trees.

Sarn: Now what in the world is that?

Sarn runs towards the light. The camera jerks and bounces along behind him, Blair Witch style. Abruptly Sarn runs out of the trees into a clearing. A fire flickers in the center of the clearing and a group of kids sit around the fire telling stories and roasting marshmellows.

Sarn: Anyone need rescuing here?

Kid #1: Of course not. Do we look like we need rescuing?

Sarn: Well, I suppose not. But I am, after all I hero. That's what I do, is rescue people, you know. *Sarn smiles smugly at this and folds his arms across his chest*

Kid #1: Well no one needs rescuing here.

Kid #2: Say, what's a hero doing out here in the middle of nowhere anyway? And with your clothing so dirty, besides?

Sarn: Well uhh... I was just... uhh... rescuing someone! Yeah that's it.

Kid #1: Who'd you rescue?

Sarn: Uhhm.... He was... errm. She was a princess. Princess of... uh... Well that's unimportant. The important thing is I rescued her.

Kid #1: ...Then where is she now?

Sarn: Oh, well uhh.. She's... gone off to find us some... uhh... food.

Kid #2: You let the princess go off by herself to find food? You should have built her a fire then done that yourself, you unchivalrous whelp.

Sarn: Hey now. You should be nice to your elders, young man.

Kid #3: I'll tell you what I think. I bet there wasn't even a princess. I think he made that story up to cover up what he's really doing out here.

Sarn: You're suggesting I would... fabricate a story about a princess?

Kid #3: Well I sure don't see her anywhere, old man.

Kid #2: Still I suppose he could be telling the truth. We'll just have to wait and see if a princess comes back any time soon.

Kid #1: *thoughtfully* Is she hot, old man?

Sarn: That's Mr. Cadrill to you, young buck. And uhh... yeah, she's really hot. But I didn't rescue her for that... I rescued her because of her large... uhh... IQ. Yeah. Nothing better than a woman with a brain. And dont you kids forget it!

Kid #2: Supposing the princess has laid down to take a nap. I'm certainly feeling tired, and we've only been talking to this guy for a few minutes. Imagine how she must have felt.

Kid #3: Good point. Supposing there even is a princess, she'd probably want to stay as far away from Mr. Capdill as she can.

Sarn: That's Cadrill, you bad-mannored child.

Kid #1: Who cares? Let's go find her. He said she's hot!

Kid #3: Yeah, but what does he know? He's probably never even seen a princess before.

Kid #1: Oh, and like you have?

Kid #3: Well... Ok, let's go after her. Stay here, Mr. Canfill.

Sarn: Uhh... Ok. That's a good idea. I hope you find her!

The group of kids run off into the forest, calling out after the princess. Sarn smiles smugly to himself.

Sarn: That's one way to get rid of some obnoxious kids. Now then, off to find Geb. Wonder what he's up to these days...</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Meanwhile, Sarn still staggered about in the forest, attempting to find his way to his good friend, Geb.

Sarn: Bah, it's no fair. Everything looks different once you're above ground.

Sarn continues to mutter to himself, as he picks his way through the dense underbrush. Suddenly, a giant beast leaps from behind a tree. The beast has long razor sharp teeth, and is covered in fur. It growls ferociously.

Sarn: ...Aunt Sally?

Beast: ?

Sarn: No, wait... You're not Aunt Sally. She's got more hair then you. What do you want?

Beast: Surrender your pitiful life, human. You are not fit to lick the ground where I tread.

Sarn: We'll you're not very friendly now are you?

Beast: ...Umm. No. I'm a ferocious beast, I'm supposed to be nasty and rude. It's in the script if you'd bother to read it now and again.

Sarn: Ha. Why would I do that? It spoils all the surprise. For instance, had I read the script I would know right now whether or not I would defeat you in battle.

Beast: Yes, and had you read the script, you would have been expecting... this!

Suddenly, an fist appears up out of a small shrub near where Sarn is standing. Out steps a short, muscular man, who proceeds to thump Sarn a good one on the back of his head. Sarn falls to the ground unconcious.

Beast: Excellent job, Gogan.

Gogan: ... Why'd you even have me do that? You're the one that's supposed to be the big, ferocious, mighty beast, aren't you?

Beast: Well, yes... But I must reserve my strength. After all, I may have to fight someone actually worthy of the competition eventually. Someone who wouldn't fall for the old "have a thug hide in a small brush and thump you on the head when you're not looking" trick.

Gogan: I see. Well, Ok then. Who do I get to thump next?

The beast puts on as thoughtful an expression as a beast is capable of.

Beast: Well, we'll just have to wait and see, now won't we. Now help me drag this lout to my lair.

Gogan: Why? Can't we just kill him or something and be done with it?

Beast: Of course not. If we kill him then he will not be able to escape, and it wouldn't be a very good story if he didn't have to escape from the lair of a ferocious beast, now would it?

Gogan: Oh, ok... But you'd better let me thump the next guy extra hard for this.

Oh no. What will happen to the Brave Sarn_Cadrill? Will he be able to escape the Beast's lair? And for that matter, who is this Beast and his unsightly companion Gogan? Tune in next time to find out!</font>