I want to vent somewhere so I'm just gonna drop my mind on you guys and see how you respond...

Well lets start off with some background... when I was four years old I was abused sexually... the funny thing is... its actually my first memory. A memory that has followed me for 14 years... at first I didn't know what happend so I never told anyone he told me it was a game so thats what I thought... it took me till alittle while ago to realize what happend. Its funny how your mind supressess it... you just want to forget it... so you do. But as of late the dreams... the bad dreams have returned... I dream I'm pinned there again... screaming for help but too little to fight... and in my dreams nobody comes to help me... but what is truely frightning is that at one time this nightmare was reality... I'm so scared...

Maybe I should get some help... maybe not... maybe I'm just being a wuss and should get over it... but its hard you know... its just hard to put that kind fear behind you... even if it has been 14 years...

I feel heavy sometimes... like depressed... maybe this is the reason... I dunno bout this... I'm just sitting in my room with music on right now snuggled in a blanket cold and shaking in fear... and I need some place to vent at... I suppose I should just talk to my teddy bear next time... but the computer is just a comfort thing I guess.

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Don't be unwise judge me not by my size. You wont believe your eyes watch the xwing rise!

If you have a school councilor talk to them. If not find a help line or talk to social services. If you want something doing about this there is ways. If you just want to talk there's people and help groups that you can go to.



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<<Awaiting something smart to say>>

You probably should seek counseling. It works better than shaking in the corner the room. Nightmares and anxiety are coping mechanisms, but they are only temporary. A professional can get to the root of the problem.

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Superstition brings bad luck.
-Raymond Smullyan, 5000B.C.

Seek professional help.

We're a compasionate bunch here at Massassi, but I think you need to talk to a fully-trained counselor.

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.

I am getting help right now... trying to kill yourself gets your parents attention rapidly... so they sent me to a doctor... but I'm still kinda messed up as you can tell.

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Don't be unwise judge me not by my size. You wont believe your eyes watch the xwing rise!

DON'T KILL YOURSELF! That wont help your problem. Maybe I'm messed up too, but I live near a public resivour sourt of place. Sometimes, when I feel bad, I go there, yell out my problem as loud as I can (when nobody is really around), and then I just sit there, almost in a meditation stance, and just wait for anything, anything at all. Sometimes for five minutes, sometimes for an hour. I just sit there, and stare at almost nothing. It usually helps me out.

If you can't quite understand what I mean, that's okay. In that case, sometimes friends can help you. Not with everything though, and some friends make things worse. Choose wisely.

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Titan A.E.

Definitely get professional help. They are trained to handle these kinds of situations and help you work through it.

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I'm not an actor. I just play one on TV.

What him and Spork said.

Get help, and good luck

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If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards.

I also agree with him and spork. People may make fun of you for doing it, if they are sadistic *******s, but its the bast thing. Sexual abuse can lead to a hell of alot of problems in later life (its the #1 cause of multiple personalities, jsut to give you an idea) and so professional help will be the best thing to allow you to get over it and on with you life before problems develop. nightmares like you are having could lead to panic attacks or possibly OCD, along with otehr things, if you do not deal with them.

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"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW

Yes. keep counseling and dont try to kill yourself. Just because your having a hard time now doesnt mean you will later in life. I once was really depressed but im over it now. Whenever you want to feel better just listen to music and be calm. Or go someplace quiet where you can be peaceful. Also keep with the counseling thing and if you still need help when your sessions are over than ask for it. Dont say you dont need it anymore. That can just lead to more problems.

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Madquack and Firbnic have a signature.
Remnant Temple Part A beta test.
Light And Darkness

---> I am familar with this situation.

It happened to my brother. He took drugs and all sorts of **** to forget.
He supressed it, but ultmately it destroyed him.
He barely survived, but through councelling and anti-psychosis drugs he seems to be recovering. I'm almost anti-religous, but I pray he does recover fully.

I also suggest you do the same, seek help. You may not survive the memory into your adulthood.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

I'm very anti religious because of it... not much I can do to changed that...

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Don't be unwise judge me not by my size. You wont believe your eyes watch the xwing rise!

Couldn't have put it better. For something this serious it's exceedingly difficult just to "get over it". You are not being a wuss at all.

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Cantina Cloud | BCF | The Massassian 1 & 2 | Gonkmeg
Corrupting the kiddies since '97

I can't imagine how much that would...just...intrude. Every moment of the day. Good luck with getting help, like Spork said, and I hope you feel better.

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There is no signature

Maybe you should try to be religious. Studies say that people that are religious in any way live happier lives than those that aren't. Im not trying to force you to become all christian or anything cause im not a huge christian myself (i just follow most of the rules) Im just trying to help you out.

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Madquack and Firbnic have a signature.
Remnant Temple Part A beta test.
Light And Darkness