Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an @$$

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

The proctologist called...they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"


Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

I can remember everything that just happened, i have a pornographic memory

After their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarves began to suspect "Hungry".

"Be quiet or I'll stab you quiet."

"They may be monsters, but they're SEA monsters. What're they gonna do? Flop around on deck and suffocate at us threateningly?"

"Well, at least I shall die as I have lived. COMPLETELY surrounded by morons."

"For once in my life someone will call me 'Sir,' without ending it with 'you're making a
scene'."

"Catch you later, Nobby. Like measles. Or athletes foot."

"He's a dead man! I'm not havin' a dead man in my cemetary!"

"Greg, for future reference, an internal monologue is not supposed to be spoken out loud, and if you try to get me in a headlock, you'll be dead long before you hit the floor."

haha:D