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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Catina Battle!
12
Catina Battle!
2004-09-13, 8:17 PM #1
No nukes or anything that would ultimately destroy the entire catina. Otherwise, anything goes!

/me cracks a beer bottle on the counter and points it at the nearest person.

So who's first?
2004-09-13, 8:18 PM #2
/me gebs it out of the cantina
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2004-09-13, 8:19 PM #3
*rides in on a pink polar bear
"DEVOUR MY PRETTY DEVOUR"
*polar bear mauls Geb
2004-09-13, 8:20 PM #4
Sets a copy of Windows ME on counter and steps back.
2004-09-13, 8:21 PM #5
OH DEAR GOD GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!

*Gebohq tries to hurl the polar bear (&Overlord) away from him*
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2004-09-13, 8:25 PM #6
*gets flung into a wall, and dies. Or it would seem! Dun dun dun
2004-09-13, 8:29 PM #7
/kicks overlord to make sure he's dead, then scampers back to the bar for a quick martini.
People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed only
if there is a light from within.
-Elizabeth Kübler-Ross
2004-09-13, 8:29 PM #8
/me kicks Geb squarely in the shin for hurling a clearly endangered species of polar bear, then takes out a switchblade and starts looking for a bagel with cream cheese.
Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
2004-09-13, 8:31 PM #9
/me grabs bottle of vodka, takes a swig, sticks a rag in the top, sets it alight, and throws it at the next person who walks in the door. Which is...

V
V
V
2004-09-13, 8:38 PM #10
Not Geb. He's still rubbing his shin. Gebohq then makes his way to the bar to order up some hard cider, eating a doughnut as he waits...
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2004-09-13, 8:41 PM #11
*see sig*
"Jayne, this is something the Captain has to do for himself"

"N-No it's not!"

"Oh."
2004-09-13, 8:42 PM #12
/me snickers as he calls animal control on the crazy guy pretending he's a hippo.
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2004-09-13, 8:43 PM #13
* The Mega-ZZTer, hiding under the bar, stips some laxitives into all the cantina-goers' drinks, snickers, and sneaks out. *

[Edit: WTF, I swear I used "snickers" before I saw happydud's post :(]

2004-09-13, 8:43 PM #14
You there! Drop that *blank*!

*blank*s *blank* with a *blank*

Omq *blank* in the blanks!

EDIT: Sleep time. I will return in the morning, hopefully to see this place on fire. Or something. Or someone.
"Jayne, this is something the Captain has to do for himself"

"N-No it's not!"

"Oh."
2004-09-13, 8:44 PM #15
Unable to find a bagel with cream cheese, Ante saunters up to the bar and begins a belligerent argument with a napkin dispenser.
Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
2004-09-13, 8:50 PM #16
passive smoking is now thought to be far more dangerous than previously thought.
2004-09-13, 8:51 PM #17
"Hey, I'm not a napkin dispenser!"
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2004-09-13, 9:00 PM #18
/me hurls the napkin dispenser at the crumpled Overlord.
Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
2004-09-13, 9:05 PM #19
*ouches
2004-09-13, 9:08 PM #20
/me gets impatient for Animal Control, and attacks Glyde Bane with a rusty walnut while spouting off some witty one-liner about how "Glyde Bane" is about to become "Glyde Pain."

Roll 1d20 to see if attack hits.

I roll a... <next person come up with a number>
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2004-09-13, 9:10 PM #21
1. Critical failure. You put your eye out with the rusty walnut.
Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
2004-09-13, 9:16 PM #22
Well, ****. That's the third time this week..

You can call me Waleye from now on.

Or Nutface. Your pick.
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2004-09-13, 9:19 PM #23
Windows... ME... in the Cantina!?

Screw the freaking polarbear, and Nutface the Walleye...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

/me runs into a sharpened spike, impaling my neck

Crap... now I'm a wang pierced just below the head.

(badumchee)
-=I'm the wang of this here site, and it's HUGE! So just imagine how big I am.=-
1337Yectiwan
The OSC Empire
10 of 14 -- 27 Lives On
2004-09-13, 9:19 PM #24
"OW! That's it! You don't hurl me at people, Ante!"

Geb apologizes to Overlord before marhing over to Antestarr, intending to grab the nearest stool and smack him over the head with it.
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
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2004-09-13, 9:22 PM #25
/me hops onto a nearby table and dives behind the counter

/me grabs the shotgun under it and starts walking towards the door with the keg of beer, keeping everyone at bay.

"Get back! IT's MINE now!"

/me eyes everyone and runs off into the night
The BlackPanther
Making 3D models one vertex at a time... and wether you like it or not!
2004-09-13, 9:47 PM #26
/me runs around the room like a hyper child who just ate a bowl of sugar, with a grating, obnoxious laugh, and scissors clumsily held in either hand.
I'm just a little boy.
2004-09-13, 9:54 PM #27
/me slams Flirbnic in the face with a refrigerator
America, home of the free gift with purchase.
2004-09-13, 9:54 PM #28
.. Then.. it happens. Freelancer walks into the room. His aura of authority causes all in the vicinity to stop what they're doing, and gawk in awe. Freelancer takes this opportunity to fire his T-21 squarely at Overlord, who still lay unconcious somewhere near the back of the cantina...
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2004-09-13, 10:00 PM #29
/me dies.
I'm just a little boy.
2004-09-13, 10:05 PM #30
/Stealthily steals cash from unconscious people's wallets
Pissed Off?
2004-09-13, 10:11 PM #31
/me begins munching on peanuts, unaware of the impending doom threatened upon him by the napkin dispenser.
Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
2004-09-13, 10:20 PM #32
Gebohq, upon marching over to Antestarr, trips over CoolMatty, and the two of them crash into Antestarr. Poor peanuts...
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
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2004-09-14, 3:56 AM #33
/me takes what's left of his beer bottle and heaves it at Freelancer, leaving him on the ground with shards of glass in his chest.
2004-09-14, 4:25 AM #34
*wakes up from his sleep standing up.* Waah? Oh yeah. *stabs himself in the face* I'm one of you now!



*thud*
"Jayne, this is something the Captain has to do for himself"

"N-No it's not!"

"Oh."
2004-09-14, 11:59 AM #35
/me grabs a new beer bottle and forces it down Geb's throat.
2004-09-14, 12:03 PM #36
*hands out combat trouts and runs away*
2004-09-14, 12:10 PM #37
/me passes out

(Sorreh)
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2004-09-14, 12:10 PM #38
*takes out a combat granola bar and wields it with the grace and fury of a untamed wombat*

*Takes said granola bar and shoves into Cool Matty's spine, making him convulse and begin to do the hokey pokey*
"If you watch television news, you will know less about the world than if you just drink gin straight out of the bottle."
--Garrison Keillor
2004-09-14, 12:39 PM #39
/me swaggers past the saloon doors into the ensuing melee... :cool:

Armed only with a wet kipper, a mug of hot chocolate and a pair of big pink fluffy slippers, I'm ready for any trouble... ;)

Now where's that sadist who left ME on the counter....

/me starts the hunt - ph34r with great ph34r, my "Kipper of Doom" (TM)... ;)

-Jackpot

[EDIT: Marginal apologies for the MegaTokyo rip-off... :D ]
"lucky_jackpot is the smily god..." -gothicX
"Life is mostly froth and bubble, but two things stand in stone,
Kindness in another's trouble, courage in your own" - "Ye Wearie Wayfarer"
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2004-09-14, 12:40 PM #40
*makes a rush for the exit, a thrown refridgerator barely missing his head., and creating a largist hole in the wall. The Mega-ZZTer dives through it.*

12

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