Why have i not done my homework? (it's an english essay, about a novel). It's only a first draft so i should be ok but.... give me a good excuse, no cliches please

My dog ate it...wait, oh f***.

massassi assimilated your soul

You were spanking the monkey all night

Your printer broke, you brought in a floppy disk to print it, but the nazi librarian wouldnt let you print it, then, on the way to another computer, a bully mugged you, and broke your floppy disk. Bring in a broken floppy disk and a forged note for extra credit!

fishstick's one is the best so far, I could bring a broken floppy and pretend i don't know what's happened!

need more ideas

There was a massive sting operation in your house/dorm. You still aren't allowed into your room.

what book?
printer excuse only works if it HAS to be typed.. like the one i'm trying to do for tommorrow

For english I always came up with some long winded surreal story which goes nowhere


Well.. I was about to do my homework, but I diddnt have a pen. So I went to the shop to buy a pen but on the way I was ambushed by no less than thirty mountain gorillas. They wanted my wallet but I only had enough for the pen. I told them I needed it but they diddn't believe me I ran, luckily mountain goriallas don't run too fast. I ran into the port and hid in a submarine.... However, The submarine left shortly after I got on board. I had escaped the gorillas but now had bigger problems. It wasn't long until the crew of the ship found me. They took me to the captain and he introduced himself as "Captain Gring". He was a pirate who talked with a lisp. He said "What are you doing aboard my thubmarine? Nobody thows away on my thip!!" he decided to lock me in a cabin and leave me there. That was a month ago (At this point the teacher will comment that they set the homework a week ago. Say "I haven't got to the time machine yet")...


I can't be bothered to write any more but you get the idea.

write it and turn it in late and then cry to the teacher about how much pressure is on you right now, but don't sound like a that is a whinny spoiled brat. :p

JKWhoSaysNi's suggestion will probably get you credit, if only for originality.

How about "I have a life outside of your class."

*shrug*

In college, you don't need an excuse.

"I didn't want to." (For the rare occasion a teacher will confront you about it.)

I have to watch the Wolrd Cup of Hockey final. That's my excuse for not gong to class right now, anyway.

hola manzana tengo un elefante parqueado afuera para el té de la mañana... que hace que mis cadoodles se parecen felices. ¡Sus ojos son hermosos como el sol, le hacen mi cama comunista!

...You're surprised? Your other options were (1) your dog ate it (2) massassi assimilated your soul, or (3) you were... spanking the monkey all night. Hardly much competition.

Any work that can't be finished in school isn't worth doing.

You too, Caveman??

Say it was already the night before you were about to hand it in, but your CPU fried during the night because you forgot to turn it off and your old CPU fan broke. Say you will have a new CPU in a week. (Or however much time you need)

Say that your hard drive crashed, and you didn't have the paper backed up. That should at least get you an extension.

Say that you put it in a Klein Bottle last night, and in the morning it had disappeared.

Or, if it's just a first draft, download something off the internet and print it out. The teacher probably isn't going to read it anyways.

I was going to say HDD, but that seemed a little unlikly. I suppose my suggestion was about the same. You could say that the file got corrupted, if your teacher dosen't know much about PCs.

"I already gave it to you. Remember?"

"You don't need to see my homework." *waving hand*

I gave it to you earlier... you must have lost it. But don't worry I can print you out a new copy for tommorrow.

Go with fishstickz's one, except simpler. Bring in a broken floppy and say it got broken in your backpack. To make it better, complain loudly around the teacher to fellow students about how 'screwed' you are because it broke.

*sigh*

Last night all four of us were at the bowling alley, until about 7:30 at which time we noticed Ally Sheedy the goth chick from The Breakfast Club, was bowling in the lane next to us, and we asked her for her autograph but she didn't have a pen so we followed her out to her car, but on the way we were costed by 5 scientologists who wanted to give us all personality tests,which were administered at the Scientology Center in Denver until 10:45, at which time we accidentally boarded the wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho De Fritas Rojos south of Castle Rock, and found a ride home with a man who was missing his left index finger named Gary Bushwell, arriving home at 11:46...