ok advice as to what to do about this situation i'm kind of in

ok well there's a guy who isn't exactly single (yes, big no no) and well he and I flirt.

Now in my defense at the beginning I was unaware he was in a relationship and when I found out, he had proceeded to apologize. He stated that he tends to not vocalize his being in a relationship etc, and then that night (I was really drunk by the way) he proceeded to sit next to me and took a hold of my hand and was kinda rubbing it...until of course she came in to the room where were located and he jumped up and ran off. Yet as soon as she left again he came over and kept offering hugs etc.

Ok so since then I tend to keep my distance, but he does flirt and is very vocal about finding me attractive he is always giving me compliments that are very blunt, but not sick.

Ok so all this is jim dandy and nothing bad, flirting is flirting, BUT recently he mentioned in the future wanting to meet up for lunch etc, and maybe one day in the future buying me a drink at this place near my university.

So erm, now I'm thinking that's kind of crossing the lines maybe. although we are friends because of my finding him cute and his being attracted to me, even though we are friends that's still kind of bad right?

anyways I need advice. although basically I know I should just go in the other direction (which would be the smartest thing to do) and just not even approach that. help people!

Just tell him that you can't understand why he would do that, and if he was willing to be disloyal to his current girlfriend you would be a bit nervous in a relationship with him yourself. Tell him you wouldn't mind being friends, but you don't want to do the wrong thing by pursuing a relationship behind the other girl's back. Just how I'd react, impossible to give impartial advice anyways though. I know personally I'd avoid him, but I really lack any social talents and have trouble expressing myself.

If he's involved with some one else, that's going too far, I would think. It seems that his intentions are more than jsut being friends

quoted for imphisis

murder works wonders, i find.

well i'm not sure if he's talking about a relationship, but his wanting to buy me a drink and what not seems like he might be implying that right?

Erm but yes, i think i'm just going to avoid that, and just come up with excuses to not be able to meet up for lunch or whatever.

I dont want things to be taken the wrong way by anyone, why are things always so complicated?

thnx for the advice everyone:)

Hm...is this the first thread in Massassi history asking for guy advice? I mean, there have been tons asking for help with girl trouble, but is this a first? Eh, probably not, oh well, still rare though.

Noo...I wouldn't get involved with him. That is my undertstanding of his intent from your account. By doing so, you welcome a crapload of problems.

There's no doubt he's interested in you....but whether or not he's looking for an actual relationship or just a "fling" (do people even say that any more?), I can't be sure. I would guess the latter.

I think you're doing the honorable thing by not getting involved with him, since he's already in a relationship. But I think you may need to just approach him and tell him flat out that you're not interested. Guys don't always take a hint, so your avoiding him altogether isn't necessarily going to make him stop pursuing you.

Of course, going out for lunch or a drink may seem completely benign (which is probably exactly what he'd argue), but he's already demonstrated that he has more in mind than just hanging out as friends.

Good luck!

While a simple lunch or drink is innocent enough, it can entail many more things and a guy usually doesn't offer without having ulterior motives or it's some special occasion. If you were to accept one of these invitations, it could send the wrong message to him. You should stop flirting with him. That, also, is sending the wrong message to him. He doesn't see it as playful fun. He sees it as you telling him "Hey hot stuff, come get some of this."

You know, you could have just PMed me this problem. And here I am thinking you value my advice. :p

Katt: Yes, the term "fling" is still used. It's what I'm looking for right now.

hey now! :p of course I value your advice! like i've said before and I'll say again you look at things logically from both sides, which I think is really cool of you to do. I've seen you tend to give the best advice on the board, and I say that with all honesty and sincerity


And thank you as well Colin

And everyone else who has given advice. basically everyone agrees I should just not approach that even if his just buying me a drink seems innocent enough, it's too easy to become miscontrewed as something else

Well, you know, I am single

So am I. *puts a napkin with his number in frog's shirt pocket and winks*

Consider this:

Boricua flirts back and pursues the relationship further. The guy dumps the other girl. Other girl commits suicide by licking electrical outlet whilst glazed in honey. Boricua & Man Live happily ever after.

The Next Day the earth was destroyed by a gigantic enraged beaver.

The end.

this would be a bad thing

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

no obviously I dont want her to get hurt either. which is why although yeah I'm not claiming I dont flirt a little, I also back off a lot

I never thought much of it, because besides that night when he took my hand and was rubbing it, since then he hasnt been physical besides hugs, which all guys do and is pretty innocent. basically he only makes comments and that's about it.

But it was the other night when he mentioned oh you'll be 21 soon so I can buy you a drink, and mentioning lunches and then also giving me hugs, and etc. which made me feel "ok, this is crossing a line."

So now yes, I'm going to listen to everyone's advice (which is pretty much what I felt should be done) and just back away. Like I had put before, if he mentions wanting to buy me a drink again or wanting to have lunch together I'll just decline and say I have things to do, because well yeah. and I dont like being 2nd place, and I dont want her to get hurt either

Did anyone else fall on their *** laughing at that last part? Maybe it's just because of my nasty mind.

Meh, the world won't be destroyed by a gigantic enraged beaver... I have it trained to destroy only the United States. And then Canada will take over the world!!!!!

And this is the first time I remember seeing a relationship advice thread concerning guys.

Anyways, as far as your guy problems go, I recommend a little trick of mine: First, find three microwaves...

Well, we know kyle has a virgin mind.

My shirt doesn't have a pocket... you tore a hole in it!

And it fell in his pants. And he liked it.


*runs*

What can I say, I'm determined.

Haha, I'm just posting here so I can start one of those "thread association" threads.