I have a friend and she has had, what can only be described as, a terrible life:

She has for quite a while suffered from depression, she and her parents do not seem to have a very good relationship and on top of that her Step-Dad has lost his job and due to stress and medical problems had no luck finding another job.

On top of that the relationship with the step-dad seems very strained and the mothers salary is not enough to support her rather large family - her brother also tend to pick on her and punch her and he is a lot older then her.

To make matters worse she has few friends and her cousin's baby, whom she adored, died in a car accident and just recently her Grandfather died.

Now this might seem enough but she also has a huge negative mental image of herself, has visited more then a few psychiatrists and is on pills for depression (and has been for some time).

She has been picked on also for being obese and was beaten up and put in hospital by some thugs for being obese.

Now what do you say to this girl to cheer her up?
I have so much difficulty believeing how bad her life has gotten?

Any help on how to help her?

umm, im not good at giving ppl advice, but i would talk to other friends about it, try and do lots of fun activites with her to cheer her up maybe? Umm... defend ppl from picking on her and stop her brother punching her, and why not try and help her step-dad try and find a job?

(I dont know if that will help, but ive tried)

What thugs beat her up? I'll take 'em down.

"Thugs" beat her up for being obese? I'm just wondering if you could elaborate abit on this.

I'd say jsut be there and support her as much as you can. Maybe even try to lean her in the direction of getting some professional help.

I hate to sound like an insensitive jerk, but this isn't hardly considered a totally hard life. It's sad, and it isn't an easy life yes.. But come on, the girl is a hell of a lot better off than a lot of the people in the world. At least she can eat, has her health, has the use of her friggin legs.... Etc. There's people in Haiti and all around the world that don't even have a place to live, sleep, or even food on a daily basis...

I used to be extremely fat, until I decided it was time to

A. Stop eating
B. Go to the gym

People shouldnt pick on others for their size, but unfortunately, they do.. We live in a harsh world with even more harsh people. She's going to have to toughen up and learn to stand up for herself against these people that are picking on her. She doesn't have to go out and beat the living crap out of them for calling her fat....But when someone does call her fat, it doesnt help to go into a depression and feel sorry for yourself.

All that aside, if people are beating her up (males), I'd find out their names, where they lived, go over, and do the same thing to them. Only, I'd make sure they couldn't raise their fists to another woman in their life's again....Basically, break their arms in half. Wanna kno how? Just grab them by the wrist, pull their arm out straight, and if you push or punch at the elbow, it'll snap right in two... Their arm will be permanently useless for their lives.

No I'm not a violent person, I just took martial arts..

If her brother is punching her, that's different.. I'd take that matter up with either the mother or another female person in the family. Don't bring that up to the father or step-dad. Most males are more likely to ignore what their sons do, than a female would be. Either way, you have to let somemone know about it. It can't be allowed to continue, or even worse as they get older, escalate.

I know the whole job thing is hard. It's increasingly hard today to find a job.. But you can't give up. If he loves his family, and wants to support them, he's also gonna have to toughen up and hand out his resume each day, and keep feeding places his resume and applying until he gets a job. How you can get him to do that is beyond me. He'll probably just have to make up his own mind, or see what him not having a job could and will cost his family.

I'd tell her this, about the death stuff... To not be sad, but to be happy... Because at worst, they're just nothing. They're laying in the ground, at peace. At best, they're an angel, in heaven, sitting and talking with all the other ones that have passed on. Either way, they're away from this world, away from all the pain and hunger...All the war's and hate. Death is a sad thing, but it is only sad for those that have lost the person. It's not sad for the person that died, because they are at peace. I know it's a hard thing to understand if you haven't lost a lot of people, but I have as well. My brother, 3 sisters, etc. But I've learned that death isn't really a sad thing. It can be scary, but it isn't sad. You'll always be sad initially after you hear someone close to you has died, that's natural. Everyone feels that, and it's ok to let those feelings go. But that's what you have to do, let them go. Because, like I said, they're gone, and they're happy, and they're at peace.

Well, basically she lives in a rough area, and as she left home a group of BOYS attacked her and she got to hospital in an Ambulance.

Oh, and thanks for the martial arts tips, now go teach young children!

I understand there not being many replies, it is a hard thing to give advice to....

I am trying to be there as much as possible but to no avail.

I may find this information useful later in life.

~

I don't know what advice to give, but the best you can do is be there to comfort her. That's what friends do. And with her depression, you need to make it clear that you care. Help out in any way that you can.