Last night, around 8 P.M., my uncle told me to take out the trash with the mistaken idea that the trashmen came this morning, instead of tomorrow morning. I decided to do it in the morning. Lately I'd been getting up late in the mornings, so I set my alarm clock. Unfortunately, I set it wrong. I get up this morning at 6:20, and about two minutes after this, my dad walks through the door. He begins to lecture me on how I don't listen to him (partially true) and how I don't do the things he asks (the trash incident). So I just stay quiet through this. He then goes on to tell me he's taking my computer until Christmas, and going to give me a whipping tonight (14 licks he says with a paddle whose dimensions are about a 1'6" long, 6" wide, and 1.5" thick. It's at this point I freak out. I go nuts, telling him he's crazy to even imagine trying to do this to me, that I can't physically withstand it. Eventually, the conversation gets more into how he's going to punish me.

Every morning now, he says, I have to get up at 5:00 A.M. This one's taken with a bit more composure, and I just frown. He still insists on the whipping.

Then he tells me to get the trash done and feed the dog and get to school (I now have to walk because I was too busy arguing with him to catch the bus.) This is about 6:45 in the morning. So we get into it some more about what I have and have not been doing lately, and eventually it gets to the fact that I'm his son and he's my father and I should show him more respect. But he's not my father. He's my uncle. I can't feel any differently about him.

So I tell him this.

He tells me to get out of the house immediately or he'll throw me out. So I do. While I'm phoning my friends to see if I can get a ride, I end up getting into it with him again.

Same mess, blah blah blah, only now he offers me a ride to school, insisting I won't get there on time without his ride. Well, he was right, but I was still reluctant to accept. He eventually forces me to.

On the way, he gives me a lecture on what I should have done, what I should do, what I did wrong, etc etc, and he tells me he's going to send me to my real mom (whose house I moved out of because her partner was beating me, and I eventually ended up at my Uncle's house). It's been 2 years since I have last seen her, and I have no regrets...until now. She refuses to have me in the house, refuses to let me back into her life, and I refuse to go back in.

So now I don't know what to do. I'm here at school, posting from my C Programming computer, and I'm scared and I'm alone and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'll see you guys again, and if I do, when, but I'll miss all of you if I never see any of you again. I just thought I'd let you know.

If he hits you again, call the cops. Or there might be somesort of organisation in your area for children with abusive parents. I don't care about 'discipline' and how he thinks you should respect him because he's your 'dad'. There's no excuse for beating your kids like that.

I wish it were so easy flex. If I call the cops on him, I'm in the deep south, and being in the deep south I'll be in a foster home before you know it. Dealing with the state on these matters is not something you want to do. From there on I have no life, I have little chance at a future, and I have to live out the next 2 years of my life from foster home to foster home, hoping to get adopted. I have very few options if I call the cops on him. I don't know what to do...I don't have anywhere to go, I don't have anyone else that would take me in. I think it's fair to say I'm the most scared I've ever been.

How old are you?

16, spork.

Do you have a job?

Not currently, no.

Do you have relatives or family friends you can live with? There has to be an option other than being put into foster care.

Ah. Sounds like your Uncle has issues, he's shelling out for an X800 XT one day, then threatening you with a switch the next.

Well, I know people who have been living on their own since 15 or 16. Sure they aint the most balanced individuals, but they're probably a hell of a lot better off than if they'd stayed at home.

Do you have a school counselor you can talk to?

I don't know for sure. A lot of my relatives hold with the ideal that that extent of discipline is not uncommon with an unruly child, so I don't know how long I'd last...

Spork--trust me, I'm seriously considering it. If I did, though, I'd move near friends. Up north, Cali, or down by someone I know down south. One of the three.

Well the advice I would give you would be just to go to the police station but thats a no so I dont know what kind of advice to give you. Im so sorry and I hope you can sort it out.

I'd threaten him with contacting the law and if he hurts you, contact them expressly pointing out you don't want to be removed but want mediation. It's a risk that they still might remove you, but weighed against physical abuse?

Whatever you do, given you're 16, I'd started planning on moving out asap.

some times you can move in with firends familyes for a while, maby pay them rent for a room.

There won't be any mediation with him--he's already said either I accept everything he says in every way possible, or I'm not living in his house.

But yes, I've figured that I might as well start planning on moving out. This may officially be the worst day of my life.

Being paddled was how I was raised. My parents are uber-conservative, and my dad paddled me until the age of 13, when I told him that i would fight back the next time he did it. They didn't even do it that hard, just enough to sting a little bit.


However, I do think that your uncle is over-reacting in this case.

He tried it this morning and I had to beg him until he wouldn't. When I told him I wouldn't comply, he threatened to hit me, to break my pinkie, everything.

okay, that's too far for him to go. get out, now.

Where, though?

doesn't matter. Anywhere but there. Talk to the counselor at your school.

you really need to just go somewhere. Go to a family friends house, go to your best friends house. Just go somewhere that you feel safe.

I can't do anything until I have a plan. I need to know what to do first. Where am I gonna go, and what am I gonna do. I don't know. And as soon as I make an action either way he's going to force me to play that hand, I know him.

My next class is up, I'll see if I can post tonight or tomorrow.

If you live near Atlanta you can crash with me. Seriously.

My girlfriend gets mad at me because I'm too compassionate. It's just that no one deserves to go through half the **** they have to.

I would go the route of the school counselor first. It helps just to talk to someone and they might know how to handle something like this. I'm sure they've had to deal with similar instances.

Just do us a favor and talk with the police or something.

^he's right. Even if you don't want the cops involved, they might know what to do and someone might be able to give you some advice. Remember, they deal with stuff like this pretty often.

hey if you want to live in michigan we have room... we have had so many people live at our house between foregin exchange students, my friends and my sisters friends... that sucks yoshi, but he boughtyou an x800xt??

By posting here, you took a mild first step. However, we're merely Massassi, and not actually qualified to help you out any more than your real-life friends might be.

First major step: talk to your school counselor. They are taught how to help people in situations in this, and he/she will know much more of what to do than perhaps anybody else you could get to. You've got a really bad home; I'm suspecting there may be some sort of mental illness present in your uncle. Despite what many parents have placed their beliefs in, most corporal punishment is "child" abuse, and thus ILLEGAL. From what it sounds like, your uncle may be starting to tread into felony territory. Talk to somebody qualified ASAP: Counselors, Teachers, Police, whoever you feel the most comfortable with.

Listen to nontheking and all of the other people who told you to talk to your school councellor. Helping you is what they are there for. You mentioned that this was possibly the worst day of your life, if you stay with your uncle it sounds like every day will be just as bad.

I don't know what you are going through but I' knew some people that did. I can hardly fathem how scared you must be. I'll be praying for you Yoshi....

If you are in good standing with your friend's parents, you should look into the possibility of moving in with them if you have to.

In the long term get kick *** grades, a scholarship with board and room included in it and move out as soon as college starts. In the mean time, join activities at school and work during the summer so you stay out of his crosshairs.

You are old enough to get yourself legally emancipated. That would keep you out of the foster care system nd would allow you to bring the police into the picture as well.

If I were in that situation, and he threatened me like that, I would beat the **** out of him... but that's just me, and that wouldn't get you anywhere, fast. Hell that would make it all worse.

Talk to a counselor, do something, don't stay there anymore, get out. Try to hook up with a friend, don't know what else to say, sorry man

At 16 I was buff enought to beat the **** out of my dad if he ever tried something like that on me. Maybe just threatening the cops on him might scare some **** into him. Or hit him back if he hits you more than what is considered reasonable (for discipline). Teach him a lesson. You're not his personal stress ball. He's gotta learn that he can't lash out at you like that.

See the school conselor, and get authorities involved if you can't settle things down with him. He has no right to do this kind of **** to you. Man, you'd have a place to crash here if I was anywhere near you. Wish I could help

[edit] Just tell him that his OPINION IS WRONG .

Well, from what I can tell...There's two things you can do:

1. If he tries to hit you again, call the police, just like someone else said here. He's abusive. Straight to the point. There's no way around the fact that he's going to keep hitting you and wants to be the father figure, or at least the one to punish you like a father would. Even though most fathers now wouldnt use any objects to hit their kids.

2. The next time he goes to hit you, hit him back, ten times more hard and ten times more. If he hits you, beat the crap out of him. You have every right to. It's self defense. No kid should be hit with objects. If you think you can knock him out, go for it. I sure as hell would. It's time to teach HIM a lesson.

I used to get hit with crap too. A large thick wooden paddle shaped like a kidney, a belt, a shoe. So I know what it's like, however, that was all from my father.

Wow. All I can say.

For one--I can't hit him. He's a 2nd degree blackbelt, and has kicked the *** of guys much stronger, faster, and much better fighters than I.

Second--something happened. I don't know what, but now he's completely calm, nice, sociable--he just gave me my allowance.

I'm almost scared by what's happening. More later.

That's odd behavior. From what you've told us, he's got some major issues and needs help.

Get the hell out of there. Fast. Please.

[EDIT: I think he's planning something by the way he acted with the allowance just now.]

I have NO idea what's going on. I'm confused. I don't know if I should stay or go...just wow.

Go talk to someone who has experience with this sort of thing, or can get you in touch with people who do. It'll help out a lot

I've already been through this kind of thing (with my mom, moved out of that house because of the exact same reason, and came to this house to get away from it. Unfortunately, I didn't get very far.). I'm just going to wait for him to make the first move--and then I'll figure things out.

Schming--I'm seriously thinking of taking you up on that offer. The only problem would be getting there. I live in northern AL (Huntsville-Madison)