thats cockney.... People from edinburgh have the best accent ever, excuse me while i quote trainspotting for a few lines

'Oh ya **** ye! Ma heid's ****in nippin this mornin, ah kin ****in tell ye. Ah make straight fir the ****in fridge. Yes! Two boatils ay becks. That'll dae me. Ah down the ***** in double quick time. Ah feel better right away. Huvtae ****in watch the time, but.'

I dont notice i but i talk similar to that, just without the swearing, now lets see how many yanks can translate that into real english...

Oh ya <word> you. My head's <word> spinning this morning, I can <word> tell you. I made straight for the <word> fridge. Yes! Two bottles in double quick time. I feel better right away. Have to <word> watch the time, but.

It really isn't hard to imagine what <word> is.

Its a collection of 2 words, the ones with in after them are f****** and the regular ones are c***

Pfft. Americans can't even pronounce the "o" in "cot"! They make it sound like some wacky "caaahhaoowahahaht" thing. Learn a new phoneme, you lazy bunch!

And just because Australia and England are non-rhotic countries (don't pronounce "r" unless followed by a vowel) doesn't make us less English, you bunch of pirates!

British/Australian: I pronounce words normally, without an excessive number of pointless "r"s.
American: *waves peg-leg about* AARRRRR, LAND LUBBERRRR! I PRONOURRRRNCE WORRRRRRDS WITH TOO MANY RRRRRRS! I DON'T SPEAK NORRRRMALLY, ME HEARRRRRTY!

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There's no such thing as "accentless" English. English is not pronounced as it is written, due to a thousand years of intervening pronounciation shifts. Example: "knight" used to be pronounced phonetically. NO ONE pronounces it "correctly" or "phonetically" any more. People think they speak with no accent, but they do. Everyone does.

That's awesome, Pate. I always wondered why my general inability to pronounce 'r' resulted in something everyone calls an English accent.

Actually, that's just Ribena.
BLAM.
Good ol' Winchester!

I apparently speak with an upper-class London accent, if you could call it that. (I'm probably about fourty miles from central London.) In the more local Medway dialect, "Ya speak wordz well posh, din't ya? 'E's well posh."

Holy crap, that makes absolutely no sense to me.