guy thred # 3... billon

Can a woman and a man become 'just friends' after thay have been in a long *** relationship where much love has been given?

you can just answer the q or read the story below and give advice too.

OK. condenced for space:
Girl meets boy. Boy asks girl out. Girl says yes. Fastforward three three years(.... no your not missing much) Girl brakes up with boy, for reasons that dont matter, but are still in love with each other. XGirl goes to collage. XBoy moves on.

Girl gets invite to wedding, in whitch she can bring one guest. Girl isant ivolved with another yet, so she wants to bring XBoy. XBoy, says he will, if Xgirl would like him to, in the spirit of friendship. XGirl has delima. XGirl wants to move on, but feels that goin to the wedding with XBoy would be counterproductive to gettign over him, but would be great if she could just figure out how this "just firends" thing could work then it would be fine to go with XBoy.

any insite?

This has happened to me twice and I've learned that "just friends" doesn't work. It's just too painful and too much of a hassle. Ditch the boy and find someone else to take to the wedding.

try asking Boy Y, a guy you know that knows the people getting married

im still friends with my ex...really good friends actually. and it wasnt a short relationship. just get your priorities straight. if you know it hurts, think logically and make it a plutonic date. and if you want to make it easier, find a boyY ...

Wow, another guy thread. We have been having more guy threads than girl threads.

*Checks temperature of hell*

Doesn't work.

usually it is very painful to be "just friends". if neither of you have feelings for each other, then it can work, but otherwise no.

does not work at all.

As far as the guy is concerned, the bridge is burned and the pool has been pissed in.

You can just be friends. You prolly have some idea how long my girlfriend and I were going out in HS (over a year for the others), and about a year after we broke up we finally settled things. Now we are really good friends. We don't hang out too much, but we keep in touch since we got to know each other so well. We also know that the other is there for advice or support anytime. It may take some time, but it is possible. As for the wedding, I think that just depends on how you feel.

It hasn't been working for me for the past 3 months. It's NEVER worked for me.

I think the answere is ‘Dictionary X’

it's hard but it is possible. but basically you all have to be open about things and talk things through. you all have a past so now you have to discuss being ok with that past and ok with moving on. you have to discuss what would/would not make you all uncomfortable within that friendship (e.g. going to the wedding)


Basically it's hard but it IS possible. it just takes lots of communications on both parts. best of luck to you with that

Laura

It really depends on how the relationship ended.

I know two people who had a really messy end to a relationship, and now they're good friends, going on seven months now.

Like what's been said, it really depends. You have to play it by ear.

ok... the nature of our relatinship:

i broke up with him, but we had planded a date for the next night, and we still went on it. this was the date that he was goin to ask me to marry him.. but well that part didnet happin.

i donno, we were really close, but somein seemed funny to me; and since i was leaving for school with in the week, i decided that there just wasent enug trust to keep a long distance relationship going... maby i was right because now he has a new GF. but he has agreeded to go with me to this wedding (November 13) if i want him to. (he also knows the intending couple)


now, about boy Y. I would have to meet this boy and ask him with in 2 weeks(RSVP deadline) if he would want to go to a wedding of whom he doesent know the intended. it seems a little forward even if i had someone in mind.

If you ask me, Xgirl and Xboy better avoid alcohol as much as possible, which is a daunting task when it comes to a wedding :p

As long as both people have moved on, friendship can work. Most people have a misunderstanding of what moving on actually means though.

It can work really well.

Don't tell me you've never had your own "girl next door" that you used to go to the same school as and might've had something going on years ago.

You can relate to them like another sister/brother you never had, if it makes it easier. Like Det said, just make sure that both of you know what you want out of your relationship. Just don't let yourself be anyone's grief mop if you plan on keeping it strictly platonic level.

My 1st gf and I spoke a little after breaking up, but 3 months on, nothing.
My 2nd gf spoke to me twice after breaking up, and now we ignore each other when we walk past each other. Not my fault, women are just such *******'s.

Ruthy advice:
#1 Get an operation and turn into a man.... or
#2 Never see him again.

WHy would you break up with someone you were in love with?

Pft, women

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

It is hard, and it rarely happens, but yes it is possible. The important thing to ask yourself is whether or not the friendship that you shared before and during your relationship is worth working that hard to keep... Because, yeah, it will be hard. Don't expect anything otherwise. Out of 3 girlfriends, 4 total significant romantic interests in my life, I only am friends with one of them still.

And Page, are you saying that you've never had a relationship that ended amicably? I thought you were supposed to be the great relationship expert. I'm not sure I would want to take your advice if every relationship you've ever had ended with "the bridge burned and the pool pissed in."

hey im Xboy and i agree its hard to move on but there is nothing i can do about the situation hopefully Xgirl can find what she is looking for since i wasnt it.....




PS. finding Ygirl seems to be easier then Xgirl finding Yboy

"its easier to steal another man's girl than to keep your own"

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

thanks for the vote of confidence JT. clan ruthervain you made my day.

dont worry about why