http://www.madsci.org/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/~lynn/jardin/SCG

"Your eyelids reflect and refract the turgid limnations of an eel trapped in the flickering paralysis of Chaplin's cinematography."

"Teacups smash, flounders ignite spontaneously in your presence."

"Your raw sensuality flusters me as the dog sneezes into the ventilation fan."

"Sound barricades itself into rolls of peautbutter when you speak."

Man... Pure gold!

I got "You have no socially redeeming value."

"If I were to combine your blood, toes, and hair, it might not be you, but it would be enough for my basic desires."

Kind of kinky...

This is almost as good as the Shaksperean Insult Genereator! Here's my results so far... They're frightening to me.

• You turn the atmosphere wild with currents of vitriol when you smile at the passing insects.
• Your aquiline senescence implores me to generalize within the relms of a starfish's lifelong hallucinations of gelatin pools and of actuaries floating upon the Rhine.
• In hunger you most certainly drool your tongue like a well-oiled pendulum, swinging to and fro in a sinusoidal frieze befitting a wounded mosque.

I'm to disturbed to get any more...

If you behave there'll be cake for the miscreants we call your brothers.

"BUY WAR BONDS"

"Woe is me, for I must forever more huddle, unminded, in the dark shadow of thine undeserved engine of procreation."

This thing is smart, it gave me an answer in Swedish.

'You are as orange as a congeleen afro curled around the bony edges of a silver spoon expressing its innermost desires for a lime-based detergent.'

Most certainly, your fingernails stimulate magnetism in the most organic of solvents!

'Lo, EUREKA,' I yelled into the cat, 'Thou art truly laborious and divergent. My nose bleeds for your impending encounter with the front fender of a Mercedes Benz.'

Sir, what exquisite breasts you have!

Your moist towelette speaks to me in leather as the disgruntled post man listens attentively in Yiddish while pumping the iron pumpkin of the mini-van.

Ever so slightly, you remind me of a staircase falling exotically into a sea of spilled macaroni.

How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?

"You have the vocabulary of an aspidistra in panic."

"Your face is like an imperfectly shaven tennis ball."

"BUY WAR BONDS"

Your skin sheds forth so that I endlessly crave pans of fried baclava.

WTF?

I see your loves in cloves

kinky

Woods nymphs sprinkle your path with bowlings balls while you dance and prowl in the sequined moonlight with leftover heads of lettuce.

thats what happens on weekends

"The expanse of your intelligence is a void no universe could ever fill."
Hmmmm....that's either really good...or really bad.

May you always have stables of horses to service your needs.
Uhh...

Send me your hang nails. With great eagerness I will knit them into divine papal integuments.
Okay, I think that's enough...

heheh. neat.

I'll try to use that one.

<3!

Your mucuous membranes glisten with the glow of forty-seven burning violins.

You hail the calves as eloquently as any facade of Easter Island.

Your sunburnt skin is as beautiful as gangrenous flesh peeled from an amputated limb.

Ever do I seek the elusive flexures of your large intestine.

My eyelids belch with effluvial afterthoughts when you tease me with jello and chicken rinds.

Your nasal linings will last as long as the skin of rocks, thrust enigmatically upon a distant shorline of mating beetles.

Madame, ist thou donning space underwear? For thine *** doth lie beyond the physical boundaries of this world!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHHAHAAAAHHH!!!!!!!:D

oh my...****. That is WONDERFUL!!! HAHAHAH!!!:D

Your intelligence is equal to the smoothness of a walnut shell.

The goats you buy shed a perfume that makes Marxism so terribly clear to me.

Legions of Communists worship your robust cannabalism of Capitalists clad in junk mail suits.

BEST.ONE.EVER!

You wear your breasts to their full extent, like a man with an uncontrollable bulge in his apartment.

'Lo, EUREKA,' I yelled into the cat, 'Thou art truly laborious and divergent. My nose bleeds for your impending encounter with the front fender of a Mercedes Benz.'

'Lo, EUREKA,' I yelled into the cat, 'Thou art truly laborious and divergent. My nose bleeds for your impending encounter with the front fender of a Mercedes Benz.'

Wow.. I got that one too.

Yes well, there isn't going to be infinite surrealist compliments.... funny stuff though

Din nese overger kun din haltende underleppe!

ACH! MEIN TOUNGE!