I think this could be a good idea, so I'd like to give it a shot.

In light of the fact that there hasn't been an MLP for some time now, I thought up another type of skill testing event to bring the community together a bit more: a poetry contest.

I know there are some budding Lord Tennysons among us (I've seen what goes up in showcase from time to time), and so I think this will work. Just post one piece of poetry, be it haiku, a sonnet, freeform or whatever, for criticism and the judges will go to work. Try to keep it Star-Wars related (this *is* a SW site). The only catch is that you must explain what your poem means, reason being that we'll be deluged in thoughtless crap from every schmoe with a keyboard - I only want the good ones, please. Part of the evaluation will be based upon your interpretation (i.e. if the judging panel can come to a similar conclusion, you'll receive top honours).

For example:

Artoo, my Wandering Droid of Love

By Tracer

Oh Artoo Detoo,
come back to me.
Why must you wander the sandy desserts of Tatooine
when I pine for you so.

Oh Artoo Detoo,
come back to me.

Obviously, my poem is written from See-Threepio's perspective during their seperation after leaving the escape pod. Threepio misses Artoo's company and wants them to be reunited, thus filling the empty space in his electronic heart. This also suggests the latent homosexual tendencies in Threepio's ersatz personality which were only hinted at in the film.

So there is my sample poem and explanation. It's a good one, except that I misspelled "deserts" as "desserts", so I would automatically be disqualified (this is one of the *most important* rules, aside from those rules already mentioned) because in an effort to improve forum literacy, all poems featuring spelling or grammatical errors will be automatically disqualified, and their authors banned from further participation in the contest. This is very, very important, so please check your work.

There will also be a group of "appeal judges" existing on top of the regular judging panel, who will read and interpret all poetry simultaneously with the judging panel. If you feel that you have been given the shaft by the regular judges (they thought your interpretation was wrong, for instance) then you can request a second reading by the "appeal judges" - if their analysis agrees with yours, then the first judging is automatically thrown out. I have created this rule to ensure fair play and prevent favouratism.

So there you have it. PM me if you want to be a judge (or an "appeal judge") and I'll get right back to you. As for the poetry, post away - we'll get to the judging once I've set up the judging committee (and the "appeal judges"). Prizes haven't been finalized yet, but I'm thinking maybe a game (HL2?) or a Massassi T-shirt iron-on. Or possibly getting to be an admin for a week.

chitter-chatter, pounce, leap;
these stealthy sounds,
the unexpected leap, attack,
fear the squirrel.

Sleeping in your bed,
tucked in tight,
in through the window with a knife,
leaps a ninja squirrel.

Fear the squirrel.
Fear the squirrel.
Fear the squirrel.
Fear the squirrel.

e^x dy/dx
e^x dx
secant, tangent, cosine, sine
3.14159
...

?

Plagiarism comes to mind.

I was all super excited until I saw it had to be SW themed. Sorry, but even though this is a star wars fansite and I love it to death, it's just not good subject material for a poem IMHO. Poetry is more than just the sum of it's words, and I find it hard to emotionally invest enough of me into a sci-fi themed writing.

I AM excited about seeing other entries, though. Maybe we could try one later on that wasn't SW themed.

I agree with Compos, though. Too many rules for a poetry contest.

Well, so far the first three entries are a total bust.

lonelydanger: I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here: I don't see what that has to do with Star Wars, but if you write up your explanation the judges (and the "appeal judges") will give it consideration.

kyle: Likewise.

Jerieaki: You are ejected from the contest, as well as the thread. Further post will be edited or deleted. You are NOT welcome.

Thrawn: Are you trying to prove something by your visual representation of my error?



Too bad your opinion is NULL AND VOID. And maybe there's only too many rules for a poet of your weak calibre.



The judges (and the "appeal judges") don't share your narrow opinion.



THEN MAKE YOUR INVESTMENTS ELSEWHERE. Meanwhile, *I'm* doing something for the community. What have you done to make Massassi a better place?

haiku

Twitter chirp chirp bloop
Chirp twitter chirp chirp bloop beep
Is all R2 says.

I don't really go into...Star Wars poetry...*shrug*

The squirrel is behind the scenes. It's a vivid and metaphorical explanation of what was going through lucas's mind as Luke discovered Vader was his father.

Very interesting, Wolfy. Will you be posting your self-analysis? I sense a metaphysical meaning.



Then screw you.

Excellent, lonelydagger! You are now, by default, in first place! Unless the judges (or if you opt for a second opinion, the "appeal judges") disagree.

Poor Little Luke

"Luke, I am your father."
Good God, what a bother.
Show and tell
Must've been Hell
For poor little Luke.

When asked his dad's job,
Luke must have replied (with a sob),
"He killed all the Jedi Knights,
And stayed out many nights."
Poor little Luke.

"He killed, tortured and maimed.
It was he the Emperor named
As his successor, his heir."
All the other kids must've been unfair,
To poor little Luke.

"By Han he would not die.
To me he would not lie.
But all you bullies will learn,
What by your actions you will earn,"
said poor little Luke.

Before anyone could utter,
A single murmur or stutter,
In walked Vader with a manly strut,
Who promptly skewered Billy's gut.
Poor little Luke.

Little Johnny tried to run,
But was no match for Vader's stun gun.
Jake the Terror, cying out in a whine,
Found himself cut in twine.
Poor little Luke.

Great work, Wolfy!

Current Leaderboard:

• Wolfy
• lonelydagger

Error?

Eh?

I agree with Compos, though. Too many rules for a poetry contest.

Too bad your opinion is NULL AND VOID. And maybe there's only too many rules for a poet of your weak calibre.

quote:
I was all super excited until I saw it had to be SW themed. Sorry, but even though this is a star wars fansite and I love it to death, it's just not good subject material for a poem IMHO.

The judges (and the "appeal judges") don't share your narrow opinion.

quote:
Poetry is more than just the sum of it's words, and I find it hard to emotionally invest enough of me into a sci-fi themed writing.

THEN MAKE YOUR INVESTMENTS ELSEWHERE. Meanwhile, *I'm* doing something for the community. What have you done to make Massassi a better place?


wow
I was merely offering my opinion, not trying to force it down anyones throat, and you seem to have taken it as a personal attack against your thread. I even stated that it was my own opinion (a statement which should have been redundant). Did you miss the part where I said maybe next time we could try one not star-wars themed? There were not even implications of a personal attack in my post.

Seriously. All I was saying is "Not my kind of thread", "Maybe we could try it a different way next time", and "I'm still excited to see how this one turns out, even though I'm not participating".


edit: or maybe perhaps I'm reading too much into internet sarcasm. Please correct me if this is the case

only starwars related poetry? *frowns*
Thrawn is funny, not being mean... and not detracting from your poem either, just looking at it in another light.

Technical Difficulties

Ships go fwwwwwooom.
But there's no air in space.
Lasers go chouw! chouw!
Sound shouldn't travel in either case.

Explosions go boom!
Engines go rumble rumble rumble.
But in space, no one can hear you scream.
But if it's spaceships, no one gives a grumble.

When locked into position,
S-foils go whirrrr.
But you shouldn't be able to hear it.
Of this, I'm sure.

Why does no one notice,
That sound travels where it shouldn't?
Maybe Lucas wanted people with physics backgrounds,
But, with his budget, he couldn't?

Meh. Maybe I'll never know,
Why we have these technical difficulties.
Oh, crap. I just realized.
Nothing rhymes with "difficulties."



[ Edit ] To all you naysayers, poetry isn't that difficult. Nothing I'm writing here is particularly deep. [ /Edit ]

I think, that when dealing with poetry, this is a bad rule.. Lots of good poetry comes from interesting grammatical quarks, misspellings (on purpose), etc.

Yeah, well, I think the judges (and the "appeal judges") would throw you out in a minute, happydud.

Mentis: Talk to the hand. From this point on, I am only responding to poetry or poetry-related posts.

But man, is Wolfy ever cleaning up! Super job!

"An Ode to Star Wars"

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away
There was a Rebel Alliance out to save the day
From the clutches of the evil Empire in space
They went to strike at the root and spit in her face.
First was Princess Leia in her Tantive IV
She smuggled the DS plans right through the door.
But little did she know, Daddy Darth was on her case.
He was coming after fast in a dramatic chase.

But Leia was smart; she knew what to do -
Smuggle the plans aboard good old R2.
The Empire boarded, and they took her alive.
But the droids were gone; they'd taken a dive.
Down to the surface of Tatooine
No one ever figured they'd be seen again.
But sure enough a farm boy found them one day
He found the R2's message and was on the way.

For this farm boy was no ordinary man -
He was a Jedi-to-be with a headstrong plan.
To find Ben Kenobi, show him the hologram
And get a good ship without a scam.
This boy was Skywalker and he had a destiny
To set the entire galaxy free
From the evil Imperials and his dear old Dad
And reunite that ancient Jedi fad.

And so the four dashed off to Mos Eisley
Only just made it past security scot-free.
They found a smuggler by the name of Han.
Offered him money that would please a Gran.
Greedo gets fried before he makes his move
And all five rebels get into a groove.
They make like a dash for Han's hunk of junk,
And fry some Stormies and then are off with a clunk.

In space they make a snappy jump to light speed
And Han considers the payment for his deed.
They get to Alderaan to find nothing there.
Except for a moon, everything's bare.
"That's not a moon!" one of them says
But before they know it, despite their best
Effort to evade that tractor beam
They get sucked inside the Death Star by an energy stream.

They pose as stormies and get aboard
Rescue the Princess, but their plan is flawed.
They jump into a giant trash pile.
And almost get compacted in a very short while.
But they make it out, and get on their way
They've got a galaxy to save and they've got only a day.
Luke's good old dad senses a disturbance
And soon he and Ben are creating a perturbance.

Obi gets struck down and is one with force
Luke gets down and feels some remorse.
But they're got no time to hang around
Luke, Han, and Leia are off at a bound.
To share the plans with the Rebel Base
And take on the Empire before it's too late.
Darth is not a very patient guy
So they'd better move before it's "goodbye."

On Yavin IV they plan their attack
Get the pedal to the metal; they're going to strike back.
Get suited up and up in the air
The Rebels are coming, so say your prayers.
They get into space and have a big fight.
All's looking bad for the light side.
Just when Rebels are falling left and right.
Luke makes his move and takes a dive.

Down into the Death Star Trench run
He's gaining on the exhaust port, ready with the proton
Darth and boys are gaining behind
But then Luke uses the force and he's flying blind.
Han comes to the rescue, guns Darth and his boys
Luke takes a hint and fires his toys.
Those protons blaze down the trench run.
The death Star explodes, and the Rebels have won!

I stand upon sand
And have two shadows,
Both staring ahead as I do
At the emptiness under the sky.
Under the sky on this rock,
the farthest from the bright center of the universe,
I stand upon sand

---

Okay, this should be fairly self-explanatory. It's from Luke's perspective before he leaves Tattooine.

What if you changed the last line to "when I pine so much for thee"?
It would make it more Shakespearean in the use of rhyme and language.

I think we should make sure that people who are submitting entries are not judges to ensure fairness.
So since I submitted something, I don't think I should be a judge.

I would be willing to contribute to the buying of a prize if it's going to be HL2 or something.

At this point I have decided that the winning poet will receive a Massassi t-shrit iron-on. Sorry, but money is tight.

It's not Star Wars related. I don't care.

Oh stormtrooper,
How i care to see,
the lighter tones of yee,
come to me now.

Oh Vader,
show me your saber,
light up my day,
let's just say,
I'm born in may.




YES. YES. A WINNER!

Then you lose the contest.

Endor, moon of pie
Croissant Death Star- still crescent,
Though it's not a moon.

]-[ellequin, you dident write that... at least not the first verce.

Hold on, nobody win just yet. I'm working on a good one.

Alright.

Executioner

He grips the glossy hilt in his hand,
Cold metal touches his thumb.
He jostles the silver ignition switch,
And the saber flares up with a hum.
A hiss like a Noghri erupts the silence,
The emerald blade unfurls.
He tightens his grip,
His sweaty grip,
Around the hilt his fingers curl.
A woman stands in front of him,
Her head bowed in fear.
He can only imagine the dread
The saber brings her ear.
Trembing, sweating,
She whimpers and cries,
Her jaw shut as tight
As her dripping eyes.
She knows what he must do,
That man made of ice,
For what she had done
She must now pay the price.
The sniffling sob
Of her raspy breath,
Echoes
In the silence
Of impending death.

The man, robed in black,
Rises the saber high.
His arms lock in place,
He prepares for his strike.
For a long moment
Their eyes meet,
Green to gray,
He knows,
She knows,
She fears,
He fears.
And for that long moment
That seems to be endless,
His eyes seem to calm her,
And asure her
Her death will be painless.

He takes a deep breath,
As does she.

Without hesitation,
He closes his eyes,
And swings the green blade,
Cutting,
Cutting,
Cutting her down
In a single quick slice.


He hears her limp body
Fall to the ground,
Opens his eyes
Turns around.

One (and that one being me) could argue that in the context of the poem and its subject matter, the misspelling of "deserts" as "desserts" adds to the meaning.