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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → "how not to write metaphors"
"how not to write metaphors"
2004-10-28, 7:16 PM #1
http://www.schoolzone.co.uk/students/exams/metaphor.htm

my favourite so far:
Quote:
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19 p.m.at a speed of 35mph.
"*quickly adds in disclaimer that Is may still yet end up being slapped with a white glove, as all women are crazy and there are no rules*" --mavispoo
2004-10-28, 7:18 PM #2
Those are all similies.
2004-10-28, 7:18 PM #3
oh man, my World History teacher showed us those last year during class. So hilarious.

'specially the college freshman one :D
2004-10-28, 7:21 PM #4
Quote:
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.


How romantic!
2004-10-28, 7:23 PM #5
Quote:
Originally posted by Mikus
Those are all similies.


Read your response, and then read the topic title.
This Space Intentionally Left Blank.
2004-10-28, 7:25 PM #6
yeah, topic title should technically say "how not to write similies"

Anyway, funny stuff!
Little angel go away
Come again some other day
Devil has my ear today
I'll never hear a word you say
2004-10-28, 7:25 PM #7
Quote:
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
GOOGLE FIND THESE SITES PLEASE KTHXBYE
http://www.stevebcartoons.com
http://www.kingcola.com
2004-10-28, 7:26 PM #8
"It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall."

Heh.
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2004-10-28, 7:27 PM #9
heh, that's why i put the title in quotes.
"*quickly adds in disclaimer that Is may still yet end up being slapped with a white glove, as all women are crazy and there are no rules*" --mavispoo
2004-10-28, 7:29 PM #10
Those are funny in such a way that they are like this thread, which is also funny.
Stuff
2004-10-28, 7:30 PM #11
Quote:
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.


Oh, and similies are a type of metaphor.
2004-10-28, 8:42 PM #12
Quote:
Originally posted by RingMaster481
Oh, and similies are a type of metaphor.


Proof plz.
2004-10-28, 8:49 PM #13
Quote:
Originally posted by Naythn
Read your response, and then read the topic title.


QFT.
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2004-10-28, 8:53 PM #14
Oh, I thought the point was that they were bad metaphors, but the point was that they were not metaphors at all AND they sucked. My bad.

That is to say, sucky for their purpose, they're hilarious :D
2004-10-28, 9:07 PM #15
Quote:
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House ofCommons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.


My favorites.
<Lyme> I got Fight Club for 6.98 at walmart.
<Black_Bishop> I am Jack's low price guarantee
2004-10-28, 9:08 PM #16
Quote:
Originally posted by Thrawn42689
How romantic!


My favorite as well.
"Those ****ing amateurs... You left your dog, you idiots!"
2004-10-28, 9:11 PM #17
It sounds to me like if they are real, they were meant to be funny. One or two remind me of Douglas Adams' writing. All great stuff. I really liked the knife one. :D
Warhead[97]
2004-10-28, 9:18 PM #18
I thought a couple of those were rather clever...
"Flowers and a landscape were the only attractions here. And so, as there was no good reason for coming, nobody came."
2004-10-28, 9:18 PM #19
it like in startrek, where thay say someing really coplicated, and then explain it with a simple analigy, this paragraph of talking always starts with "it's like".
Laughing at my spelling herts my feelings. Well laughing is fine actully, but posting about it is not.
2004-10-28, 9:21 PM #20
Quote:
Originally posted by Elana14
it like in startrek, where thay say someing really coplicated, and then explain it with a simple analigy, this paragraph of talking always starts with "it's like".


Like filling a balloon with too much air!
2004-10-28, 9:45 PM #21
:p
Laughing at my spelling herts my feelings. Well laughing is fine actully, but posting about it is not.
2004-10-28, 9:46 PM #22
Quote:
Originally posted by Mikus
Proof plz.


A simile is a metaphor without the term of comparison omitted. Or as pbs.org puts it:

Quote:
Students like to distinguish between similes, which make a comparison using "like" or "as" and metaphors where the comparison is implicit. Teachers might point out that all similes are metaphors, though not all metaphors are similes!
2004-10-29, 4:39 AM #23
Quote:
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.


I've seen that in someone's sig on GameFAQs.

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