I'm back at square one with him. My dad. I don't know what to do--it's 6:00 PM roughly and he's halfway home on a 9 hour trip, and what he said he would do (beat me pretty much to within an inch of consciousness) stands as soon as he gets home. I'm scared guys. I'm really scared. I thought it had all gone away, but it hasn't. He says it's because I haven't been doing what I was supposed to (basically I didn't mow the lawn on monday this week, a couple things were done late last week), and that my grades aren't up to par (I have 3 C's and an F, but it's only 3 weeks into the grading period and I haven't been doing well in my classes, though that takes time to change, he doesn't realize) and so now that's going to happen, and he's basically going to take away everything I have. I'm scared. I don't want this to happen, I can't let it happen, but what the hell am I gonna do? I can't go to the police here. I can't go to any friends' houses he doesn't already know. I can't do anything. I'm alone here guys...help me please.

Okay, I've been through this kind of situation too and the best thing to do is be calm. I don't think your dad is gonna hit you and if he does it's time to seek out the help of the police and let the law handle it from there. Basically about the lawn apologize and do it as soon as possible and about your grades sit down and talk to him in an adult way about it. But you have to remember to stay calm you're gonna be okay.

I already did the lawn, my grades I'm trying to change, and he will, he has before.

*hugs* Dj I've been in your spot mannyyyy a time. I dont know what to tell you though, because my excuse was to always just leave (which will just make him madder, so dont do that). Damn DJ Yoshi, I dont know what to tell you. *superrrrrrrr big hugs*

If he lets u back on the comp afterwards or just when ya can and if you feel like u need to talk, just know u got someone here to listen. I mean that in all sincerity.

You gotta get your grades up so you can get the grades to get a scholarship and get out of that house and away from him ya know.

I'm sorry Yoshi, I feel helpless and I dunno what to tell ya. I hope he forgets and doesnt do anything. Did u think of mowing the lawn really quick, and coming up with something to explain the grades?

Laura

Then you need to get to the proper athorities hitting someone is unacceptible when it reaches your age. Even if he is your father it is completely unacceptible and you need to get help.

You don't understand, I can't do anything about it, this is Alabama, and the last case of child abuse the courts laughed away. This isn't the place you go to get away from your parents when they do this kind of thing.

Er... hit back? How old are you?

http://www.familyprotection.alabama.gov/child.htm

I think they will take you serriously. Don't go on other cases you hear about you have rights.

DO NOT DO THIS. THIS IS THE MOST UNHELPFUL ADVICE EVER IN THIS SITUATION.

do you have a place you can stay at?

One thing you should always do is keep evidence of the abuse that happens (not anywhere he can find it) and tell someone else who's a trusted adult (so it does NOT get back to him) when things happen.

that way if you ever go to court about it you'll have stuff to back up your case

16, but he's a second-degree black belt in karate, and I know he could kill me if he wanted to. It'd only make things worse.

WEll, you can't sit there and do nothing. Call Child Protective Serivces. Call the police. You need to get some help from someone. This isn't something you can sit on and have it go away.

Nowhere.

Yes one of the comments above is right go to friends house if things get bad. Go somewhere else and then contact law enforcement, it's agenst the law for him to do that. But hitting back is the worst thing you can do in this situation... please don't do it.

Damn I would be scared, if it's that bad then get out of there, go somewhere. Do you have a bike?

Exactly the one time my father and I started really going out it physically he threw me down and had me by the neck and I was kicking till he finally backed off, and afterwards all I had were bruises, and pissed off sister (at my father, he's hit her before as well, more so when she was a little girl) and a mother who thought it was my fault. (go figure)

then it was just awkward, and everyone was scared for when the next blow out might just happen. it just became a more volitile situation and escalated things and made everyone uneasy.

I say just try your best to remove yourself from that situation

Laura

exactly my dad was in the army (left as a mayor) and would always go off on me like "my men would never act like this" and i was like "NOTE i'm not one of your men i'm your DAUGHTER"

he's always boasting that he can kill a man with his bare hands. it's disgusting.

Listen my advice is do your best to remove yourself from the situation. You gotta do what's best for you and your well being. get those grades up and get outta that house as soon as you can, graduate earlier ya know

Laura

Yoshi, get on IRC and talk to us. Maybe you could call your dad back and talk things over with him?

Hmm... Do you have a gun? Perhaps a large steel object. No offence, but your Dad sounds like an idiot. If worse comes to worse you could always leave a board with nails in the driveway where his tires will be, and leave somewhere. But belive me, I think the police will be of great help. This is your best bet. Don't be there when he gets home. It could be dengerous. Why don't you go to the library right now, and keep us posted from there.

So what if he knows your friends? Go to one of their houses and stay there. If he comes calling or knocking, have them say you're not there. Hiding won't solve your problem, but it will buy you time and you can get advice. From there try calling social services, or find out if any of your friend's parents are in any position to help (cops, teachers, government employees, or just smart people)

Wow Mr. Die Hard Christian. STFU, you're not helping.

You sir... ahh they'll deal with you later.

Remember it is much better for you to simply go somewhere safe and let the law take it from there... remember if you hurt him or attack him like the above idiot suggests you yourself could be charged. Is it really worth you getting trouble for? Your the vicitm don't turn youself into the criminal.

It pains me to see you in this situation Yoshi, believe me, I'm praying for you.

I think the best advice has already been given, call the police, a restraining order might be a good thing to try and obtain.

Best of luck to you Yosh.

I'm praying for you too.

So your options are?

1. Sit Tight, keep us updated, and try to hope for the best when he gets back.

2. Call the Police, if you think it's bad.

3. Go somewhere. Like what's his name said, go to the library and keep us updated. Or If your worried, then find someone's house or someplace public. Maybe a store.

Dude, I wish you the best of luck, and I'm still praying for you.

Stormie...you have no idea how much I miss you, how much I miss that town. I miss Kyle, I miss Shawn, I miss everyone. I wish I had just one of you here to help me, because I'm so tired of doing this alone.

<djyoshi> now he's saying he's going to think it over and maybe try to work it out

^^I don't know. I just don't know...

Call Social Services if he beats you.

Is that whats going on now?

I hope nothing happens, but regardless let us know you are ok later on. Please ok. You've got my prayers as well

Laura

He now says nothing's going to happen, only that tomorrow we have to do some family thing all day. I don't know guys...if anything happens I'll let you know. I'm exhausted from this whole ordeal, over worrying for 3 hours what I was going to do with the life I've built here. I was worried that I would be living on my own. I don't know...I'm tired and I'm still scared because I know if anything, ANYTHING goes wrong tomorrow, it could set everything off.

Parents who attack their own child, I'm sorry, shouldn't be allowed near they're own children. How can they love you, when they are physically attacking you?

If you call 911 the police HAVE to come over. Otherwise get a way to defend your self.

I sincerely hope your situation will improve. Forgive me of my ignorance, but why does your mother let this happen, or does she agrees with his cruel acts?

Stare him in the eyes while he hits you, and let him know that what he's doing is wrong, and that if he cared for you, he wouldn't do such a thing. You're too old to be disciplined in such a manner. Don't threaten him, just be calm and calculated, and tell him how it is. If he doesn't listen to reason, inform him that you'll be calling the police after he beats you. If he beats you anyways, call the police and explain the situation. If your father is incapable of respecting you and listening to reason, as my father was, you need to get yourself out of the situation. Take it from someone who held it in until he snapped and went to jail for assaulting his father. One can only take so much, and while your alternatives may seem as frightening as just taking the beatings, you may have to take the chance. You're a young man, and need to show him that, by standing up to him. I feel your pain man, but you're truly on your own here. Only you can decide what's best for you.

Get away, IMMEDIATLY. Do not wait for him to show up and beat the crap out of you. If he is a black belt then he can get charged with attacking with a weapon.
(If a person is a black belt, they take that into account, and the persons hands are considered weapons.) It's true! C'est vrai!

I don't know what to say man, I've never really been in this kind of situation.

Listen to what everyone else had said so far, most of it is good advice.

Bad times

Try not to get in a situation where you might have hurt him (like with a weapon or something). Even in self defence, it might be hard to prove that you didn't attack him.

What on earth are you going on about? You start advising him to injure his father, then tell him to be wary of even defending himself. Are you trying to be as unhelpful as possible or does it come naturally?

Anyway, are there any crisis centers you can call anonymously for advice?

I'm glad you're safe for tonight, but it seems to me that it will only be a matter of time before something like this happens again. Do you have any friends who you are particularly close to (and their faimlies preferably)? because I would heartily suggest that you seek shelter from someone who will be willing to shelter you even if only while you are in their house. As soon as possible I would try to get some kind of case together so you can notify the authorites. I have absolutley no experience in these matters but that really seems the best course of action. And running off somewhere (public possibly) is always the best recourse instead of striking back. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you, I'm not the religious so I can't really promise to pray but I'll try for that approach as well. Best of Luck!!!

No, I don't know how violent his Dad is. I really don't want something, well, bad to happen. He really should have some last ditch means of protecting himself. What he really needs to do if he knows his Dad is unreasonable and won't listen to him is to go to the police. He knows his Dad better than I do. I think he'll make the right decision.

can someone please ban obi, those comments are totally inapropriate.