Two strings walk into a bar. The first says "Barkeep, I'll have a whiskey sour." The second string says "Hey, that sounds good. I think I'll have one too.(&!@(**(#$^(*(*&@(*!$&(*@#&(*(!@#)(*(*@!$(&!@( *#&@!(#^$*#$_(*@!&#*&@!$#"
The first string says to the bartender "Excuse my friend, he isn't null terminated."

A string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender kicks him out, saying "We don't allow no strings around here!"
Dejected and outmuscled, the string leaves. The same thing happens at the next place, "We don' allow yer kind here! This is a respectable joint!"
The string has an idea. He tossles up his end, makes a loop and pulls his tail through, and goes back in the first bar. The bartender eyes him. "Hey, aren't you that string I just bounced outta here?" Offended, the string answers him:
"I'm a frayed knot."

Originally typed by a possibly drunk Spe:
<spe> if i had a genie, after wishing for unlimited wishes, what would happen if i wished for 10billion h-bombs to materialise in the core of the sun? would 10 billion h-bombs in the centre of the sun do anything interesting? 10 billion is a lot, but the sun is rather large
<spe> my third wish would be for an umbrella that extends at the speed of light... what an awesome gadget that would be

Originally posted by Frozen_Heart
Lame, but made me smile...

did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

it went down the road and turned into a field.

Two bytes are in a bar. One says to the other, "I'm not feeling that well. I think I have a parity error".
The other byte responds, "I thought you looked a bit off!"

chmod a+x /bin/laden

Jupiter came down to Earth one day and decided to help these two criminals to rob a bank. Anyway, to make a long story short, they got caught and the three of them found themselves in court. The judge sentenced the two earthlings to fifteen years, and Jupiter was a bit shocked when he was sentenced to ten years.
"But your honour" said Jupiter, "I didn't even take part in the robbery!"
"Yes" said the judge. "But you helped them ... Planet!".

Two stars are sitting in a bar. The first says, "I'm the brightest star in the sky!"

To which the second star replied, "You're not Sirius!"

After eating his first meal on the moon, the astronaut reported, "The food was good, but the place lacked atmosphere.

Originally posted by drizzt2k2
This is ticking me off hardcore, I don't get Kegz joke.

This guy walks into a pub and notices that there's a
guy at the bar with an ostrich sitting beside him. Despite his
curiousity, the guy decides not to pry and sits down quietly.

After a few drinks, curiosity has overcome him and he decides to enquire.

"Excuse me, mate, but I couldn't help noticing you have an ostrich sitting beside you. why?"

"Well," says the man , "I moved into a large
old house not so long ago. One afternoon, I decided to explore the attic and
found an old brass lamp in the corner. I rubbed the lamp and a genie popped
out, explained he had been trapped in there for two hundred years, and would
grant me three wishes for releasing him."

"So what did you ask for first?" asks the curious chap.

"I asked for ten million dollars. The genie clapped his hands, there was a
flash of lightning, and he asked me to phone the bank, who confirmed my
balance was now ten million dollars!"

"What did you ask for with your second wish?"

"Well, I asked if I could make love to the ten most beautiful women in the
world. Again, the genie clapped his hands, there was a flash of lightning,
and the doorbell rang. Ten supermodels ran in, picked me up, carried me to
bed, and made sweet love to me all night"

"Wow," says the curious guy, "What did you ask for with your third wish?"

"Well, I asked for a chick with long legs."

So a guy walks into a bar, and sits down. He glances over to notice a guy sitting there with a cardboard box sitting on the table. He finally decided to ask the man what was in the box. The man lifts up the top, and sitting there on a miniature bench, playing a miniature piano, is a little pianist. The first man was shocked, and asked where he got a little pianist like that. The man pulls out a lamp, and says that there's a genie inside that will grant you one wish when you rub it. Intrigued, the man asked if he could give it a rub. The other kindly offered the lamp to his new friend, and they watched together as he rubbed the lamp. From it, came a genie who offered to grant the man a single wish. He thought for a moment, and finally replied: "A million bucks." A moment later, the genie was gone. Someone by the window suddenly stood up and yelled. "Hot damn! There's a million deer outside!" The man turns to his friend and his pianist with a questioning gaze, who replies:"Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"