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ForumsDiscussion Forum → Cover letter advice.
Cover letter advice.
2003-12-14, 10:32 AM #1
Yeah, Ive got a job, but its a temp job that expires in 3 months, and there is this sweet litle tech suppport position with Asus in the paper....


Anyway, I stink at cover letters. Anyone got any good advice?

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Fight the future.
And when the moment is right, I'm gonna fly a kite.
2003-12-14, 11:01 AM #2
I hate writting cover letters.
I have about 10 of them though for different companies for different positions.
Just sell yourself.
Here's one for a laser R+D company I had to write. I only worked on optics for lasers so I had to gear it to what I knew about lasers.
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">To whom it may concern.

As you will see on my resume, I have over eleven years of experience working in a thin films/optics lab. I have two years of post secondary education that had an emphasis on chemistry (pure, applied and analytical), microbiology, and biology. This formal training in a lab environment has been invaluable in my career.
As part of a team, I have had to work on both production and R+D projects. This gave me the opportunity to observe and understand how an optics lab operates from order taking to shipping.
I have worked with engineers to develop new coatings for new and existing products. Specific products I’ve worked on for R+D include DWDM filters and chromatic compensators for those filters, and piezoelectric etalons for use in instrumentation. I’ve also assisted in engineering to design multiple thin films to work together in optical assemblies as per customer requests.
My experience and practices in an optics lab are well developed.
My computer skills are excellent to advanced. I have done some web development including writing documents using mark up languages and coded server side scripts for dynamic web pages and user forms for database input. I am also familiar with Linux and it’s associated software and software suites.

Thank you.

Dave Taddeo
</font>

Here's one for a company that makes semi conductors (silicon chips and LED's).
It is the exact same technology with the same equipment as I have been using for over 10 years except I was coating optics instead of silicon for microprocessors.
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">To whom it may concern.

I am submitting my resume for a position of one of the Technology Operator positions posted on your web site.

As you will see on my resume, I have over eleven years of experience working in a high tech manufacturing environment. I have two years of post secondary education that had an emphasis on chemistry (pure, applied and analytical), microbiology, and biology. This formal training in a lab environment has been invaluable in my career.
I have had to maintain, repair and retrofit vacuum chambers with pneumatic, high voltage, and hydraulic subsystems. I have had to upgrade fully manual vacuum chambers with fully automatic deposition equipment as part of a team. I can change and configure a vacuum chamber to meet the requirements of a process as needed. My experience and practices in a coating lab are well developed.
I have worked with, and studied, both the characteristics of gasses in a vacuum, and material sciences. I can competently discuss the characteristics of gasses in a vacuum and how those characteristics may affect materials being deposited and the resulting thin films. I can discuss materials and techniques used to deposit them including evaporation, ion beam sputtering and magnetron sputtering. I have an understanding of bulk and deposited materials and can discuss their morphology and stoichiometry. I have handled and worked with materials and chemicals both as a technician and an employee safety representative ensuring proper safety equipment is used.
I can troubleshoot and analyze a process problem both in situ and after seeing the results of a completed process. I have used physical and optical measurement and analytical equipment to test and measure thin films. I have worked closely with engineering and management to keep processes up to date and efficient. I have also worked closely with QA technicians to ensure that processes are being followed and maintained. Detailed documentation of problems become part of the process so that the finished product will have a history that can be tracked, and a parameter that may be added to the SPC of the process.
I have also helped write users manuals for the use and maintenance of coating equipment for technicians to use.
My computer skills are excellent to advanced, as both gaming and web development are my interests. I have done some web development including writing documents using mark up languages and coded server side scripts for dynamic web pages and user forms.

Thank you.

Dave Taddeo
</font>

It's all about selling yourself with what you know for the specific job.

Mind you I wasn't called for either job. One wasn't hiring. I just handed in my resume. The other is driving me nuts.
Heh...


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To artificial life, all reality is virtual.
2003-12-14, 11:29 AM #3
I think you say "I have" too much, I think you need to find alternative ways of saying what you "have".
Detty. Professional Expert.
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2003-12-14, 11:40 AM #4
Keep it short and to the point. The whole purpose of a cover letter is to get them to want to look at your resume. A couple of paragraphs, tops.

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I'm not an actor. I just play one on TV.
Pissed Off?
2003-12-14, 11:42 AM #5
This is what Ive got...

Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
Robert G. Bullock
(bleep)
Louisville, Ky, 40272
(bleep)
gbk@insightbb.com


I was very interested to see your advertisement for positions in your Tech Support Department in the Courier-Journal (12-14-03). I have been looking for an opportunity such as this, and I think my background and your requirements may be a good match. My resume is attached for your review.

Of particular note for you and your team as you consider this support placement is my background in Computer repair and Troubleshooting. I have been building and reparing computers on the side for a number of years, both for pay and voluntarily. I have worked extensively with every version of Windows, both administratively and as an end user. I have also been working as a call-center technician for a local bank for the past few weeks.

Thank you for your time, and I await your response.

Yours truly,
Robert G. Bullock
</font>


Too cheesy, or will it work? :/ (I really, *really* want this job...)

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Fight the future.

[This message has been edited by GBK (edited December 14, 2003).]

[This message has been edited by GBK (edited December 14, 2003).]
And when the moment is right, I'm gonna fly a kite.
2003-12-14, 11:49 AM #6
I agree with you guys but we were sent to a resume writting lady as part of our lay off package and she says to say all that stuff.
I think it is too much but...

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To artificial life, all reality is virtual.
2003-12-14, 12:31 PM #7
Anybody? [http://forums.massassi.net/html/frown.gif]

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Fight the future.
And when the moment is right, I'm gonna fly a kite.
2003-12-14, 1:51 PM #8
It needs some work. Keep in mind I have no experience with these, but I don't think you're explaining your credentials enough. I'm aware that you have them attached, but pull out some of the impressive ones and put them up there. Try to make it seem less casual also, you said "For the past few weeks." Try rewording that, and other phrases/sentances like that to sound more professional.

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MadQuack on Military school: Pro's: I get to shoot a gun. Con's: Everything else.
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2003-12-14, 2:01 PM #9
(me=company)

I was very interested to see your advertisement for positions in your Tech Support Department in the Courier-Journal (12-14-03).

(Good for you...)

I have been looking for an opportunity such as this, and I think my background and your requirements may be a good match.

(You are telling me that you are a good match?)

My resume is attached for your review.

(Thx for the info...)

Of particular note for you and your team as you consider this support placement is my background in Computer repair and Troubleshooting.

(So you can fix computers and answer questions...are you really needed for us?)

I have been building and reparing computers on the side for a number of years, both for pay and voluntarily. I have worked extensively with every version of Windows, both administratively and as an end user.

(Wow. Brilliant. Very intersesting. That really tells alot about how you work...)

I have also been working as a call-center technician for a local bank for the past few weeks.

(Thank you for telling what you did for the past weeks...Is there a reason why I should look into you?)

Thank you for your time, and I await your response.

(Enjoy waiting...)

Yours truly,
Robert G. Bullock


...bah I don't think helped at all... [http://forums.massassi.net/html/frown.gif]


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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
---@%

[This message has been edited by Echoman (edited December 14, 2003).]
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2003-12-15, 6:16 PM #10
Hopefully, they aren't as cruel as Echoman. LOL! [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif] It's a good draft but has some waffle that can be left out. The only big mistake was Yours truely which makes no sense. Yours sincerely or Sincerely yours are the standard business letter endings.

=========================================
I wish to apply for the tech support positions advertised in the Courier-Journal on the 14th December, 2003.

I have many years of experience building and repairing computers. I can also install and troubleshoot every version of Microsoft Windows. My last job was as a call-center technician for a local bank.

I have attached my resume and references.

Yours sincerely,
Robert G. Bullock
2003-12-15, 6:45 PM #11
Thanks, but its too late. I just hope they arent as nit-pickey as you guys. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif]

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Fight the future.
And when the moment is right, I'm gonna fly a kite.
2003-12-15, 6:47 PM #12
First, call the company and find out exactly who handles hiring and put 'Dear ###' instead of 'To Whom it May Concern'

Also, dont end with 'I look forward to hearing from you soon'. You should say something about how you're going to call to find out about the status of your resume in ... a week or so... then actually call, it's good to do that.

Good luck!

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~amor sui~
<< schming stout >>
"Those ****ing amateurs... You left your dog, you idiots!"
2003-12-15, 6:47 PM #13
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by GBK:
...worked extensively with every version of Windows, both administratively and as an end user...
</font>


...and vehemently loathe each and every one. I promise that every caller who rings me will be told to format their hard drive and install Linux if they ever hope to get any help from me.

I've always favoured the brutally honest approach [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif] Seriously though, I think your cover letter is fine, short and to the point is far better than a long winded version. The ones I wrote a few months ago were only 3 paragraphs long and I got a few interview out of them. Best o'luck.
2003-12-15, 7:08 PM #14
The best cover letter is a 20 dollar bill stapled to your resume [http://forums.massassi.net/html/tongue.gif]

That or just kiss butt in your letter.

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--Hinch
Terry Hinch's Web Comic
All opinions expressed by Hinch are the explicit views of Hinch, and only Hinch and his 7 other personalities. In the event that said personalities are in dispute, the majority shall prevail. All opinions are held in perpetuity of the present, past, and future throughout this universe, mirror universes, and all multi-verses, including alternate time lines.
In Pride,
--Hinch
I had a disclaimer here, but the man said it was too long.

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