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ForumsDiscussion Forum → funny.
funny.
2004-11-08, 9:13 PM #1
Quote:
~ How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket! ~


A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.



Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.



Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.


Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too.

(quoted from this siteso you all won't have to listen to the crappy, annoying background music.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2004-11-08, 9:14 PM #2
hehehehehe, nice :D
Pissed Off?
2004-11-08, 9:16 PM #3
That made me chuckle. :)
Marsz, marsz, Dąbrowski,
Z ziemi włoskiej do Polski,
Za twoim przewodem
Złączym się z narodem.
2004-11-08, 9:45 PM #4
Hmm.
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2004-11-08, 9:50 PM #5
Not really, most policemen would have immediately tried to immobalize the guy. anyway, he would be so screwed if the policecar had a dashcam, which most do.

sorry to spoil a good joke but I just dont find that very funny.

the three wishes joke wasd funnier than this.
Snail racing: (500 posts per line)------@%
2004-11-08, 10:03 PM #6
:rolleyes:
Pissed Off?
2004-11-09, 2:14 AM #7
Quote:
Originally posted by alpha1
sorry to spoil a good joke but I just dont find that very funny.

the three wishes joke wasd funnier than this.


The funny thing is, this joke had me chuckling more than my lame joke.
Rock is dead - but I believe in necrophilia.
2004-11-09, 7:29 AM #8
Quite good, I've seen it before.

alpha: High horse. Off.
D E A T H
2004-11-09, 9:01 AM #9
Quote:
Originally posted by Avenger
hehehehehe, nice :D
SpriteMod (JO 2003) Roger Wilco Skin

Snail racing: (500 posts per line) ---@%
2004-11-09, 10:37 AM #10
i'd try that out, wasting police time is a hobby of mine... especially since they love to waste my time so much.
2004-11-09, 10:41 AM #11
Quote:
Originally posted by alpha1
Not really, most policemen would have immediately tried to immobalize the guy. anyway, he would be so screwed if the policecar had a dashcam, which most do.

sorry to spoil a good joke but I just dont find that very funny.

the three wishes joke wasd funnier than this.


Haven't posted this in a while.
[http://www.doigtsagiles.com/images/djyoshistfu.jpg]
2004-11-09, 10:44 AM #12
Quote:
Originally posted by alpha1
Not really, most policemen would have immediately tried to immobalize the guy. anyway, he would be so screwed if the policecar had a dashcam, which most do.

sorry to spoil a good joke but I just dont find that very funny.

the three wishes joke wasd funnier than this.


not really, genies don't exist and people can't survive if their head is an orange, this means it isn't funny. :rolleyes:
2004-11-09, 10:53 AM #13
heheheheh thats nice...
/fluffle
2004-11-09, 10:57 AM #14
Rather funny... It just might work, until the driver mentioned the last line. Suggesting knowledge of the crime in particular is a good way to be found guilty very quickly. But aside from that, LOL. Where's the picture that goes with that line? We already have the "YOIW" posted, why not the "LOL" picture?
Wake up, George Lucas... The Matrix has you...
2004-11-09, 1:53 PM #15
Don't worry man, you didn't spoil the joke, and theres no way you could, the joke is hilarious.
The three wishes joke was humurous, it brought a little smile and a little chuckle to my freinds and I.
But this joke brought real laughter, laughter that comes from your belly and makes people blow their drink through their nose if you timed the joke right.
This is definitely one to remember.
Oh, and jokes don't have to make sense, if they did then the three wishes one would just be pure utter crap, why would he wish he had an orange for a head?
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2004-11-09, 2:00 PM #16
You take things way too seriously, Alpha.
"I got kicked off the high school debate team for saying 'Yeah? Well, **** you!'
... I thought I had won."
2004-11-09, 2:07 PM #17
Reminds me of that video that was posted here a while back... "Are you a dancer or something?" "No I'm just drunk."
Stuff
2004-11-09, 2:22 PM #18
Ahahah, I can imagine that, sounds pretty funny :D
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2004-11-09, 6:38 PM #19
I'll have to try this sometime... :p
May the mass times acceleration be with you.
2004-11-09, 8:04 PM #20
BERY OLD NEWZ!
Nothing to see here, move along.
2004-11-10, 2:32 AM #21
Quote:
Originally posted by nottheking
Where's the picture that goes with that line? We already have the "YOIW" posted, why not the "LOL" picture?


I'll post it when I get home in a couple of hours if nobody beats me to it - it's not on my photobucket account, so I must've attached it last time...
2004-11-10, 5:09 AM #22
Thaaar she bloooowws!

[http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v464/martynpie/lol.jpg]
2004-11-10, 7:29 AM #23
<3
2004-11-10, 7:37 AM #24
Every time I see that pictur, Martyn, I crack up. I shouldn't, but I do.
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2004-11-10, 7:39 AM #25
It's a mini-legend, I do declare :)

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