Fortune Cookie - Discussion Forum - The Massassi Temple Forums Archive

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Fortune Cookie

2005-01-03, 10:18 PM #1

DogSRoOL

wtf is a catloaf?a

Posts: 6,227

Not your average fortune cookie.

http://www.badcookie.com/

"If you continually give, you will continually have nothing."
"You have an ugly heart and are well despised."
"You have an evil heart and are greatly despised."
"Now is a good time for automobile servicing."

Normally, you can add "in bed" after a fortune cookie quote for a more interesting quote, but that only works on a few from this site. [Also, that's not the point of this thread.]

Have fun.

Cat loaf, meet mouseloaf.
My music

2005-01-03, 10:19 PM #2

Mikus

compassion-deficient

Posts: 2,483

"Now is a good time for automobile servicing in bed."

2005-01-03, 10:59 PM #3

Emon

Imon, umon...everymon!

Posts: 19,022

"40 isn't old. If you're a tree."

Something fortune spat out at my on my server...

Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.

2005-01-03, 11:02 PM #4

Mikus

compassion-deficient

Posts: 2,483

You will win only mediocrity in whatever calling you adopt... in bed.

2005-01-04, 4:41 AM #5

Spork

Junior Vice-President

Posts: 6,279

You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial

The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.

2005-01-04, 5:07 AM #6

Impi

THX

Posts: 4,686

$ fortune -s
Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with
scented bootlaces.
-- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"

Sorry for the lousy German

2005-01-04, 5:25 AM #7

Stinkywrix

Stinky wrists

Posts: 1,835

You will become a great bore in your later years

That makes me sad.

Beware the dark mechanical bird?

wtf?

2005-01-04, 5:44 AM #8

kyle90

Laser Lover

Posts: 8,450

[http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/fortn.jpg]

Stuff

2005-01-04, 6:31 AM #9

Cool Matty

Usuyami no Sekai

Posts: 15,246

I'd copy and paste a few things from "Fortune" but I think I'll just tell you all to do it yourself :p

2005-01-04, 4:28 PM #10

bobafett765

Muh-sass-ee

Posts: 1,213

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others

... in bed...?

||Arena of Fire || Grand Temple of Fire ||

The man who believes he can and the man who believes he can't are both right. Which are you?

2005-01-04, 6:47 PM #11

SenatorPheba

Has Our Apologiese

Posts: 149

"The funniest thing about time is when it doesn't. I'll leave you hanging there for the moment, and let you age while the shadows don't lengthen, if you see what I mean." ~~Steven Brust

2005-01-04, 7:59 PM #12

SG1_129

More Ovaltine Please

Posts: 1,296

"Always remember to pillage before you burn."

2005-01-05, 10:40 PM #13

DogSRoOL

wtf is a catloaf?a

Posts: 6,227

It keeps calling me evil and boring and making fun of my clothes.

Cat loaf, meet mouseloaf.
My music

2005-01-05, 10:47 PM #14

siliconcowboy

I'm a man, babyr

Posts: 2,671

Quote:

Originally posted by DogSRoOL
It keeps calling me evil and boring and making fun of my clothes.

I think it's time to take a hint buddy.

2005-01-06, 1:51 AM #15

JediNeo

Not Important Enough For A Title

Posts: 1,044

"Your life will never be graced with the presence of stardom."

Doh.... no Natalie Portman for me

"You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth!! No truth-handler you!! Bah!! I deride your truth-handling ability!!"

2005-01-06, 4:21 PM #16

DogSRoOL

wtf is a catloaf?a

Posts: 6,227

Quote:

Originally posted by siliconcowboy
I think it's time to take a hint buddy.

Brown is IN, damnit!

Cat loaf, meet mouseloaf.
My music

2005-01-06, 5:32 PM #17

Nightwind

Inadequate Member

Posts: 847

"You will never step on the soil of other countries"

LIE!! I've been to Canada.

The man in black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed...

2005-01-06, 7:01 PM #18

DogSRoOL

wtf is a catloaf?a

Posts: 6,227

will = future tense. Which makes sense, since these are fortune cookies.

Cat loaf, meet mouseloaf.
My music

2005-01-06, 9:37 PM #19

Shintock

Balls of steel.

Posts: 7,146

"You will be unfortunate in all things you put your hands to... in bed"

Does that count myself?

2005-01-07, 11:22 AM #20

DogSRoOL

wtf is a catloaf?a

Posts: 6,227

Yes.

Cat loaf, meet mouseloaf.
My music

2005-01-07, 11:44 AM #21

fishstickz

New, Improved, and Boneless

Posts: 6,606

Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity.

"If you watch television news, you will know less about the world than if you just drink gin straight out of the bottle."
--Garrison Keillor

2005-01-07, 6:49 PM #22

greenboy_009

No they aren't!

Posts: 3,364

"The star of poverty is shining on you."

o.0

2005-01-07, 7:20 PM #23

gbk

Posts: 10,562

gbk@katherine:~$ fortune
You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.

You will gain money by an immoral action.

Q: What does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota?
A: Open other end.

Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is?
A: One per person.

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

And when the moment is right, I'm gonna fly a kite.

2005-01-07, 7:30 PM #24

sugarless

Sweet 'n' Low

Posts: 3,467

You foolishly believe in the goodness of mankind...in bed?

Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.

2005-01-07, 9:53 PM #25

Shintock

Balls of steel.

Posts: 7,146

I love this one:

Code:

andy@MrCoffee andy $ fortune
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how
to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
                -- George Burns

or:

Code:

andy@MrCoffee andy $ fortune
You will have a head crash on your private pack.

Where's the goodness of mankind in that one? :confused:

2005-01-08, 1:54 PM #26

Jedigreedo

Watch Him Squirm

Posts: 2,068

Evil thoughts come from your heart.

If you continually give you will continually have nothing.

"We came, we saw, we conquered, we...woke up!"

2005-01-08, 2:25 PM #27

genk

doot!

Posts: 10,781

"Idleness is the holiday of the wise"
O_o

"Pray for what you want, but steal for what you need"
¬_¬

Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!