So I guess it's my turn. This is gonna be a little long, but hopefully you can bare it...

Hmmm, where to begin? About a week ago, I notice a girl from work has taken a liking to me, flirting with me a lot, really strongly. She's beautiful and really energetic, but I never really thought of her as my type. I flirt back whenever I got the chance, because who knows, maybe she is my type and I just don't know it. This goes on for three or four days, until we start talking about schedules and what not, and come to find out that I was off Wednesday, and she had a half day shift and was gonna get off around noon. So I quickly offer up if she wanted to do anything afterwards, and she agrees and we trade numbers.

I guess I read the signs wrong or SOMETHING, as I meant it to be just an afternoon together, merely as friends. As there isn't much to do around the city during the day, we end up going to lunch and a movie, and it pretty much turns out to be a date, and we practically spend the whole day together, most of which was back at her apartment, with some friends from work, just watching TV and movies. She says she had a good time, but it seemed she was just a little uncomfortable the whole time. We talked a lot at work the next day, and she always seems happy to see me, and I'm always happy to see her as well.

Last night, me and my best friend went to a friend of his' house, because there was a "party" there. More like a few people just sitting around smoking and drinking Bud Ice. Sorry, but inhaling second-hand smoke in a tiny apartment is not my idea of a party. Well, the "party" happened to be real close to this girl's apartment, and I call her and end up coming over. We watch a movie together and just hang out for a long time, and again I got the feeling that she was just a little uncomfortable, maybe as if I was taking things too slow as far as getting closer. I happen to be the type of guy that likes to let the girl kind of take the lead, as I am in no hurry, sexually speaking. As well as, from talking to her at lunch, she said she is the same way; she believes in the "progressions of dating" as far as what you can and can't do on the first date, second date, etc. Anyway, we get to talking more and she seems to losen up, and we even get to play fighting with pillows. This doesn't lead to anything, and much to her telling me she doesn't want me to go, I had to leave to go pick up my friend, and go home and get some sleep as I had work early the next morning.

I was hoping I could take her out on a real date with dinner and a movie tonight, but another guy had already asked out that night. I really have no problem with this, as I know that just because we go out on a little lunch date, that she is not bound to me or some crap like that. I have no problem with it even more so because I know the guy. He works in my department, we're both salesmen. I, as well as a lot of people in my department, don't like him because frankly, he's a really big ***hole. Apparently, he's been obsessed with her for quite a while, and she said she would've liked ditch him and do something with me, but she said she's ditched him way too many times before so she would feel bad. I happen to know for fact that the guy really just want's to get in her pants, so, knowing her, I doubt this will turn out good for him.

Now, to talk a little more about me and her, we seem to have a good deal in common, so this makes me really happy. The only thing that I would consider bad at this point is our previous relationship history, and frankly, her's intimidates me. I'm 19, and she just turned 20. I've had a couple light girlfriends in high school... and she recently got divorced from a year and a half long marriage. Woah.

So, in closing, any advice or tips would be really helpful. She seems to like me a lot, but when I'm around her sometimes she seems uncomfortable. Could it be that she's just nervous and a little shy? Sound's like me, except, when I'm around her, for some reason I'm not as shy as I normally am around girls. I could almost pass for normal. Thanks for reading.

My advice to you is to become a hermit and avoid all contact with the opposite sex. Just kidding. In truth, I don't know what you should do. From the sounds of it, you're handling everything pretty well as it is.

!!?!??!?!?!??!??????

I wouldn't buy that "ditching him" excuse. If she didn't like him and liked you, I think she would've chilled with you for sure. Something's up.

just get naked and pant yourself blue. After that, you're golden.

From what you've described she sounds like she likes to rush things and is pretty heavy on commitment... I would be very wary of this.

You're in. There's no doubt about that. Sounds more like it's that awkward phase that happens sometimes when you first start seeing someone. If you're interested in being more than friends, let here know. Don't worry about the age thing. One year is hardly anything to be intimidated by. The marriage, well, she's not married anymore and I'm doubting she's looking for another marriage at the moment.

Well you know the saying, "When in doubt..."

Oh I don't know man. It's hard to tell. I had to play the devil's advocate here, but I don't have a good feeling about this one. Up until the point where the two of you are kissing, nothing means anything. This or that doesn't mean that she likes you, because in reality, you never know what any of that crap means. When the two of you kiss, that is when you know. So kiss her damnit, and stop wasting your time before you become friends.

this doesn't feel right to me.

I was waiting on this.

Page, can we agree that no claims can be made until at least some making out has been done? Is that not the only real sign?

Three words: Ask her out.

Officially, I mean. She's giving signs that she's interested. But she doesn't seem to be like uber interested. Which means the longer you wait, the more likely she'll think you're not interested.


(Right, that was 35 words. Same thing.)

...do as the romans do? ...make lemonade?

WHAT IS IT?

Kill her.

Communication, or lack therof, was the downfall of my lastrelationship. Don't just wonder, confronting her about just what is going on and having a clear understanding of the situation, if that is possible with a girl, can't hurt in the longrun.

"...whip it out."

1. Ask her out
2. Get naked
3. !!!
4. ******

ok, now i have to interject and be serious. Do not rush into a relationship because most likely it will be based off sex right away. you said it yourself that you flirt a lot, well do you have any common interests? Become her friend first because a relationship is SUPPOSE to be a step above friendship. Get to know more about her first.


Also, Martyn does have a point on this one too.

If you become her friend first then there is almost no way you will get into a relationship.

I said to kiss her because that is the only way he will know one way or the other. Everything else is just speculation, but that's usually a pretty good sign that the ball is in your court.

Bill speaks the truth. He's not saying "Shove your hand down her pants!" A kiss is innocent, and you can judge alot by it. Depending on how it feels, you can know what's going on and base your decisions on that.

there is no "sign" there is only her general level of interest. And the way I'm interpreting it, it seems pretty low.

Talk to her.

It does definitely sound like she's interested, but whatever it is that's making her feel awkward is only going to get bigger. If it is that she really enjoys your company but doesn't want a relationship, then better to get that out in the open now rather than wait until the sexual tension prevents her even hanging out with you. On the other hand, it could just be that she's nervous, in which case, defining some ground rules about what's going on should help.

As for how you feel about her, I really wouldn't take the 'not really my type' thing into consideration. Who you fall for is completely unrelated to who you have previously fallen for. Just make sure you know how she feels before you let yourself get too attached.



This, for me, is a great sign. Being comfortable with someone is so incredibly important when you're talking about a relationship. Which is why I'd never date someone like Pagewizard (no offense! :p), being able to be honest about your thoughts and feelings matters so much. Playing games is just crap.

Well, this isn't an issue any more. Her and her ex-boyfriend have got back together, and to be honest, I really don't care. She's a nice girl and all, but last night, we were supposed to go to a movie together, and beforehand I was gonna talk to her about where "we" were going. Anyway, her roommate is only ever down at her apartment for the weekends, and he had just come into town, so we ended up hanging out there, with a friend of his as well, who were really cool guys, so the night wasn't a total waste.

Learned more than a few things about her that completely turned me off, and that, coupled with the fact that she was pretty much back with her ex, was more than enough to lose my interest with her entirely.

Print that this out and give it to her. Pasty Man will solve ALL your problems.

Prove me wrong.. how many of you have tried it?

women suck

no matter how many times I tell you guys you just DONT frickin GET IT!!!

Idiots

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

*hits ruthven on the head*

shush you, you'll ruin our plan!

Women dont suck, you just dont know how to talk to them

you gotta be like "hey baby"

"i got a beer..want some?"

Women don't suck. They're just smart enough to know better.

Makes sense. :p

Some women actually do suck.


And I don't mind that.

Everyone else was thinking it... did it really need to be said? :p

It really didn't.