Just wondering how many people have seen black books.... if so, post your fav line or scene such as

Fran: Bernard, come over to my flat tonight and we can watch
the walls acctually moving in
Manny: Oh no, we'll be staying in and watching the thermometer
won't we Bernard...
Bernard - Oh I don't know, Walls, Thermometers, i guess i'll just
have to flip a coin and hope that it somehow explodes
and kills me

good stuff by Dylan Moran

So many good quotes...

Bernard: It's all rubbish! Nobody is prepared to admit that wine doesn't have a taste.
Manny: Of course you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bajillion cigarettes a day. What's that you're eating?
Bernard: It's some sort of delicious biscuit.
Manny: It's a coaster!

Bernard: What is that?!
Manny: It's soup
Bernard: Gourmet stuff is always piled up in towers. Get it in a tower man!
[Manny somehow arranges soup into a tower]
Bernard: You call that a tower? Where are the turrets?!

Bernard: Ok let's think outside the box a little, no rules
Manny: Ok... Sort of 'anything goes'
Bernard: No I said NO RULES!!

So many brilliant bits. And so amusingly acted...

What is this?

Black Books, best show on channel 4 ever, i know own all 3 series on dvd - good stuff

(obviously set in a book shop)

Manny's dad - so why is the shop called black books
bernard - well you know, i was going to call it world of tights but you know how stupid people are, you have to spell everything out for them!

(bernards drunken flashback)
bernard - can you tell me why you have a toster in your bathroom?
his friend - we don't have a toster in our bathroom, now please bernard leave im going to call you a cab
bernard - well you should have a lock on the door, i was sitting there on the toilet and little jimmy walks in and he was drinking milk and so unhygeneic.... and another thing, what was going through your head you thought, i know, i'll buy a wicker toilet!

It's a British sit-com about a drunken irritable Irishman who owns a book shop. Funniest thing on tv this side of The Simpsons

Customer: You know, I'm probably getting a lot of secondary smoke from you.
Bernard: Don't worry about it. Get me a drink sometime.

Bernard: Don't make me laugh... bitterly. Fran will fail. You'll toil your life away. And I'll die alone, upside-down on the floor of a pub toilet.

The simpsons isnt funny anymore

And so people know its written by and starring Dylan Moran aka David in Shaun of the dead, with bill bailey (from never mind the buzzcocks and he played bilbo in a episode or 2 of spaced - also with simon pegg aka Shaun in Shaun of the dead)

First episode

Manny's boss - is that soup
Manny - yep, its.. extra chunky
manny's boss - whats in it
Manny - .........chunks

The black dolls extra on series 2

Bernard doll - DRUGS! GRAPES! BEARD!



Bernard - I'll get a girlfriend for the summer, she'll be a summer girl, she'll have hair

Good news for yanks, BBC america are showing the first series starting next month

Manny: (phoning Anall Cleaners) Everything's covered in filth! Look! (points phone receiver around the room) The whole place is a complete mess. Can't find anything. Right now I'm eating scrambled eggs, with a comb, from a shoe


Bernard: Gerald! Can I ask you a question?
Gerald: What?
Bernard: You know the thing, uh, the thing that cleans these things, the thing-cleaner! Why is that in your bathroom? I'm not Coco Chanel or anything but I think that's a bit weird.
Gerald: Umm Bernard why don't I umm call you a cab?
Bernard: I don't want a cab! It's only half-one. Anyway, listen, listen, why do you have a toaster in your bathroom?
Gerald: We haven't got a toaster in our bathroom.
Bernard: Well you should put a lock on the door anyway because I was in there, I was on the toilet and everything, and little Jimmy comes in, he's drinking milk from the fridge and that's all wrong... it's unhygienic. And what were you thinking, what was going through your brain when you thought "Oh yeah, I'll buy a wicker toilet"?

Psh, Peep Show > Green Wing > Black Books > *.

Peep show is by far the funniest Channel 4 sitcom.
Jeremy: Do you want to build a tent in the living room and eat dairly-lea? Because that's whats going to happen.
Jeremy: "Who do you support? Mark's Isreal. I'm Palestine. Makes the news more interesting."
Jeremy: "This is bad, very bad. The canal - perfect venue for the emotional bumpoff 'cos if I start screaming there's no one to hear.... On the plus side, she's obviously confident I'm not a potential murderer."

Sophie:"How's the love life?"
Mark: "Love life may be a rather grandiose term for staring at women on the bus."


Oh.. wait.. this was about black books

Bernard: "I've never said it before because I'm too nice, but your son has the cold, dead eyes of a killer."

Bernard: "The cat dies tonight! Can I be any clearer than that?"

Bernard: "All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favours the loud and aggressive."