MAOIs have insane drug interactions and require a very strict diet and are not very effective. You seem quite misinformed about SSRIs. SSRIs (Zoloft etc) have very few interactions. They have some issues with alcohol (especially when adjusting to the medicine) but you can even drink lightly with them (or drink more, it'll just mess up your heart rate, probably make your depression worse etc).
As a person who sufferes from depression and comes from a family with a history of despression, I can say that the statements of anti-depressants only "drugging you up", "making you happy", or "supressing the depression" are, well, bull****. If you have a very mild depression (nothing more than a chemical imbalance, no social/personal issues etc) SSRIs may be all you need to fix depression. Most people do need at least a little counseling though. It's a good idea even if you don't think you need it. Obviously in Mech's case, he needs it.
There's also some stuff going around now about SSRIs causing suicide. Er, not exactly. I don't think there's ever been a case where someone with mild depression has taken an SSRI, woken up one day and said, "Uh well, today I wanna kill myself." That's rubbish. When you're so depressed that you have thoughts of suicide, a lot of times you're so depressed that even if you wanted to kill yourself you'd never be able to get around to doing it. Sounds silly, but ask anyone who's had depression; depression basically rips you of all motivation and will to get anything done (depending on how bad it is). When someone that depressed starts on SSRIs, they might still have thoughts of suicide but be not so depressed that they can actually carry it though. That's why anyone with depression (ESPECIALLY severe depression) needs to be closely monitored and must have counseling to ensure a proper recovery. There's nothing in SSRIs that just give you thoughts of suicide, that's garbage.
Also, SSRIs work by inhibiting the reuptake of serotonin between nerve cells, allowing it to stay in the synapse longer. This is the best option since you can't just inject serotonin because it can't pass the blood-brain barrier, but SSRIs can.
I'm on the highest dosage available in a standard prescription of Zoloft, 100 mg. I can assure you that I don't feel happy all the time and it's most certainly not just "supressing" or "covering up" my depression. It has helped immensly. My grades shot way up last year after starting Zoloft, I began to have much more of a social life and I stopped getting pissed over the smallest things. I used to get terribly angry when my parents asked me to do simple 10 minute chores, and I didn't know why and I couldn't control it. Now I have no problem doing that kind of stuff (as I did before I became depressed).
Now I'm not saying that SSRIs are the end all of depression, that would be equally stupid a thing to say. Battling depression requires consistent counseling, a decently balanced diet and sleep pattern, and exercise. Exercise is probably the greatest natural antidepressant. Exercising straight up increases levels of neurotransmitters in the brain. However when you're depressed, you don't ever get around to exercising because you have no motivation. However taking a pill even a depressed person can do, and it can really help you get back on your feet. Most people don't need to take antidepressants for the rest of their life, I'm not sure where that rumor started. I hear a lot of people say "I don't want to take a pill for the rest of my life". Usually your doctor will tell you to keep taking the antidepressant for several months to a year after your depression has disappeared, just to be sure. But after that it's usually smooth sailing.
As for actual advice...Mech, you say the pills they put you on make you feel like crap. Well, many SSRIs do that when you first start on them. If the side affects don't go away in a few weeks they should have you on something else. Although I'm not sure if they have you on things other than SSRIs, probably. I don't know much about that stuff, so I'd ask your doctor(s) about your concerns. Just remember that suicide really isn't ever the answer. My only advice is to try to keep your thoughts logical, that helped me a lot. A lot of people that attept suicide probably knew it was stupid to do what they tried, but they did anyway. Well, that's depression for you. But at least try to find another outlet for your feelings. The nearest sledgehammer and breakable object such as a desk, a table or a wall would do the trick. I'm sure your family and friends would much rather erect some drywall than have you gone from their lives forever.
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
