Gather round, ye Massassians, and I will recount the time I, Loser McLoseShorts Grismath, (tried to) orchestrate operation 007: 4 dates in one weekend.

I'll admit it. I'm something of a chauvinist. Not a PageWizard, mind you, but I don't mind the occasional crack at the fairer sex. I think it's in part of my upbringing in an all male school, and also compensation for my knowing nothing about the ways of women. But one night, it dawned on me:

I was cruising the dance floor at some obscure girl's school, meeting girls all around and having a generally great time, when I saw all the typically 'cool kids' from my school huddled in depresseed grouplets and getting shot down each time they mustered the courage to ask a girl from this school (where they knew no one going in) to dance. And so I thought: How am I any different from them? Perhaps they look better, and have the aura of hanging out with each other to boost one another's confidence, but me, the lonely wolf, got far more pickins than they...

Which led me to my brilliant plan. I thought that if the only thing I lacked was the cajones to ask people out, if I just got over that, I'd have it made. Going to an all-male school, we typically draw from all-girls schools. These girls usually hang out with their peers from those schools, and rarely see girls from other girl's schools. Hence: I could go polar opposites on myself and flaunt my disdain for girls these days by being something of a player. I got to work scheduling.

Unfortunately, both Friday night girls were snowed out, and there was an agonizing moment when I was positive my reputation had been ruined in the tri-county area forever, but Miss Saturday and Miss Sunday were a 'go'.

MISS SATURDAY:

On Saturday, I was to take one of the 'cool girls' out after musical practice. Coincidentally, I pulled in to the parking lot right next to her blasting Lynard Skynard with shades on and in a swank leather jacket, and apparently my shirt matched her keychain. A good omen?

Apparently not. On the way out of practice, which I cut the end of to go with this girl, I heard her saying to one of her friends on the way out "This is not a date. This is not a date." Fair enough, I didn't exactly intend it as such, we all have to start somewhere, no? But when I got into my car, she was getting into hers, not mine. There was some question as to whether we should still go. She made a point of immediately telling me "oh yeah, I don't have any money."

I can roll with the punches, I pulled out, and she followed, and I was mallward bound. Well, that is until I took a wrong turn off the highway and suddenly went into autopilot. Yes, we were halfway to my house when she pulled off to the side. And no, I didn't have her number to consult, either. So I jumped out and we talked. I told her I knew a way to get back on the highway in the opposite direction, and I'd take her back to school.

On the way back, I was mighty embarassed, and some song was playing on the radio "I still haven't found what I'm looking for". I almost crashed merging, and when she saw the sign for the mall, that's where she went, even though I was in the exit. So left the scene to the sounds of her honking and went back to school, alone.

I drove home and collapsed in bed, and a couple hour later sent a well constructed e-mail that complimented her, elicited her sympathy, and ensured she wouldn't slander my mistake around her peerage.

MISS SUNDAY:

Miss Sunday is one of those rich prep school girls, who applied to all the Ivies, and if she doesn't get in will apparently take an off-year and try again. When we set up the date, she originally suggested lunch, but the two places she hinted at were ~$20 per person. Yeah right. (My original quad-date budget was around $100! but I actually ended up operating at a profit...)

I called this girl the day of with an excuse to get out of lunch. She suddenly had a lot to do and said I could come over to her house for only an hour. I ended up spending three. Cha-ching. :\

We played pool, and she beat me the first time. Then we played some darts and even though I wasn't wearing my glasses, sharpshooter Gris beat her. All amidst rousing conversation. Then we played MarioKart '64, which she won, and then (the best part) we hooked up her NES and played DuckHunt. We then hooked up the SNES and played Street Fighter World Warrior (E. Honda is awesome) and SMB2. We played pool once more and I won.

I had a ton of fun (doing all that would've been fun even if it weren't with a hot girl) and potentially secured a ticket to her prom.

I still have a lot of options for mine. ;]

Anyway, that was pretty much my entry into the dating world these days, it's a foreign land to me that I haven't visited in a year, and it seems pretty interesting.

yous be straight ballin cracka

Oh my. I forgot that pee double-u enn ee dee is censored, so I think some of the spirit of Miss Sunday was lost... :\

"Yeah, she said come over for an hour, but I came over for three. We played pool, and then I ****** her."

I had 2 dates once. Then I ate the rest of the box.

Well done Gris. See, in your situation, what do you have to lose? You don't go to school with these girls, so even if you hadn't been as sucessful, it wouldn't have been such a big deal.

"Well, I feel sorry for you then. I mean, I would more than happily pay your way if we were on a date, but since I overheard we aren't, you are on your own." And say it with a smile.

Too slick. I like it.

YES! OH GOD YES! YOU HAVE IT. YOU HAVE NOW LEARNED THE CORE TRUTH--- WHAT EVERYTHING ELSE IS BUILT ON.

Now just practice it, and it will get easier each and every time. Now that you've learned the essense of it, you can now focus on the fine details.

lmao, I'm sorry, but after 24 hours of romance novels, chocolate and Troy, one (female) will see that, blink and shake her head before moving on wow I really need to go out tomorrow or something lol.

I agree with sugarless. Page, you just make more and more of a mockery out of yourself every time you try to offer relationship advice.

Now I'm laughing.

Away with your romance novels, chocolate, and troy! All of that pales in the face of reality.

All anyone with that quality would have to do is look you straight in the eyes to make you weak in the knees. :p

Hey! Don't diss chocolate :p

Ah, but I don't. I sit here and shake my head at how many people seem to take dating so seriously. It isn't nearly as difficult as many people make it out to be.

Wow, I have both PW and KH in my dating thread... and they aren't arguing! I must be doing something right.

Page, that's your exact problem. You don't take it seriously enough and you end up dehumanizing woman. You may think you're good at it but you really aren't.

Who said anything about dehumanizing? That's one hell of a straw man argument that you have going there.

No it isn't, considering the things you've said about yourself in the past.

such as....?

I'm sure any misconceptions you have may be due to misinterpretation of what I said.

Oh, yeah. That's really mature. You're not treating women as objects at all.



Ooooookay.





Nice generalities there.



What the hell? If that's not sexist/chauvenistic, I don't know what is.



Here, as well as in many other instances, you establish that you're basically in it to get laid and then drop the girl as quickly as possible. Where I come from, they call that being shallow and dehumanizing.



See above.



Uh huh, all women are just quantifiable objects with certain properties that always reside within certain bounds. And you know how to press the buttons. Again, that's just ridiculously chauvenistic.

You claim here that women will be drawn to you if you stop caring about them so much. I really beg to differ, as I'm sure anyone in any kind of relationship that lasted more than two weeks would as well.



Right, while those of us in serious relationships are so because they put some effort into their relationships.





Bleh.... rotten and unhealthy attitude if you ask me.



This pretty much describes you in a concise sentence, and, in case you were wondering, that's not a good thing as far as treating women like human beings is concerned.

i do believe you've made some REALLY good points there. And that was also the longest post i have EVER seen

pwnd

I don't care how much you hate page, Freelancer, you just insulted him so you could bring up past statements and further degrade him.

Get off your high horse man. He didn't do anything wrong in this thread.

Jesus guys, why do you feel the need to insult page at every turn? Especially when he doesn't do anything wrong.

EDIT: And yes, I do see the pun in the above line.

I agree with Yoshi, Page wasn't really even offing me advice, just encouragement for what I had already done... :\

You must really hate me, Freelancer, which is not really logical since I did nothing other than speak my mind. Your list was meant for the sole purpose to throw s*** in my face, but it doesn't bother me at all, b/c you simply took what I said and then threw your own biased interpretation after it. It's hardly credible. B/c of that, I can't really take your accusations seriously.

Yoshi's right. Seriously, that wasn't needed at all.

Page's comments may come off as chauvinistic sometimes, but more often than not, there's some truth behind them.

Forgetting your ex at the moment of the breakup makes moving on quite a bit easier. Once you're over it, then you can take the time to reflect on what went wrong and learn from it.

Seriously, he's right on this one too. I got cheated on 2 years ago, and I didn't go on caring about the girl. Why should I care about her after what she had done to me?

Those quotes were taken out of context. Without the original post we have no idea what he was talking about.

I'll agree with you on this one.

What he said doesn't just apply to one-night-stands. You can get shot down for a date, and instead of getting all depressed about it, you can keep on socializing, making more friends and looking for other girls that may tickle your fancy.

It's called playing hard-to-get.

It's only when I stopped living my life to please my girlfriend that I began to have fun in life and in my relationships. He never said not to put any effort into relationships, he only said to take yourself into consideration first. You just wanted to ***** at him.

Not really. Being confident about yourself really helps when you want to try and ask a girl out.

Pagewizard and I agree on the basics. It's the little details that we have a difference of opinion on.

Because pining over the ex and sliding into a deep depression for months is certainly the healthy choice.

Actually, it is true. Both men and women tend to have qualities and do things(provided there are no other strange circumstances) that are reasonably predictable.

And don't confuse relationship with getting to know someone. Of course when in a relationship a woman is going to need more attention than if you were just friends. But why, if you just met a woman, do you need to lavish her with attention? Why would you do that to a stranger? Normally, you wouldn't. But with a woman it is a different story because some men don't have control of their horomones.

No where in his post did he say anything to the contrary. You can have fun and put in some work at the same time you know.

Because believing you don't deserve to be with any woman and to believe that you need to be "picked" by a woman is such a better attitude.


Pagewizard is tactless a lot of the time, but lay off. Someone makes a comment about something they find funny, and you use it as a door way to attack him. You need a hobby. Besides Pagewizard I mean.

What is everyone getting so worked up about? I would have been glad to defend myself simply by saying that I wasn't using a strawman argument against Page based on what he said about himself in the past. He asked, so I delivered. I don't hate Page, I disagree with his take on relationships. You're acting as if Page had never said, "such as.... ?".

This conversation shouldn't even be happening. Yet, for some reason, you think that since pagewizard posted in a dating thread(and being non-chauvenist at that) and another poster found something he said humorous, that it was enough of an excuse to try and piss him off.

You're missing the key, he may not have been his chauvenist self, but we was going all four cylinders in his infomercial mode again.

So? Why can't he preach what he believes? This *is* a discussion forum, after all...

Poor poor Grissy...your thread got turned into a debate.

So now it's because he sounded like an infomercial to you? That suddenly gives you an excuse to come in here and rail on him? You just don't like him and you are looking for any excuse, no matter how transparent, to try and piss him off. Grow up.

You read my mind.

whoa, now everyone. for once (and this is a more or less rare event) I don't really disagree with what he said- confidence is a very good thing, even a necessity when dealing with girls (as long as it doesn't step over into arrogance, but that's for another day). since it's a fairly rare occasion that I agree with page on anything in a relationship related, I would like to savor the moment, so lets stop the argument. he actually didn't say anything wrong in this thread.

Dear god, with the assumptions. Too many to clear up almost.

No, not now. From the beginning it was my reason. Just because you made assumptions about my motivation and got confused a few times doesn't alter the fact that my main motivation was as described above from the start. Second, I have already said that I don't hate Page. Yet here you are saying that I do. What, do you know my feelings better than me? No, so don't say such ridiculous things. Especially after I have already expressed my feelings to the contrary in this thread. If you really think I hate him so much you're possibly misinterpreting the severity of my post.

As for coming in here and "railing" on him, perhaps I shouldn't have. However he knows his ranting and raving gets people peeved at him on occasion. My first post was relatively harmless, then Page ASKED for examples, so I gave them to him. Don't ***** at me about something Page himself requested.

1) While we may not know your emotions as well as you, we may be able to interpret what you are not willing to admit

2) Your first post was far from harmless. It was unneeded, unprovoked flamebait, and if it weren't page, you may have just incited some flames with said user.

However, we know page was totally in the right and had done nothing wrong, and that you just decided to stir up some trouble.

I agree with Kieran--grow up. Stop arguing for no reason. And coming from me, that should mean something.

hmm let's be friends. can we all please let it go?

Amen. Everyone here is so very argumentative. Don't let everyone else get on your nerves so much.

I don't know if it's that easy, but it would be nice, I'm still waiting for someone to make me weak in the knees