I'm tearing for laughing so much, so post for favourites!
Frink: ...and these (handing books to Homer) should give you the grounding you'll need in thermodynamics, hypermathematics and of course microcalifragalistics.
Homer: Er, look, I just want to know how to invent things.
Frink: All you have to do is think of things which people need but which don't exist yet.
Homer: You mean like an electric blanket-mobile?
Frink: Www oh well, possibly. Or you could take something that already exists and find a new use for it, like...
Homer: Hamburger earmuffs.
Frink: Mmm well, I suppose that would qualify.
Homer: Thanks sucker. (Homer throws the books and runs off)
Frink: Weh, uh, alright just stay calm Frinky. These babies will be in the stores while he's still grappling with the pickle matrix bhay-gn-flay-vn.
Marge: I'm worried about the kids, Homey. Lisa's becoming very obsessive. This morning I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat.
Homer: I know. And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke. It just keeps going faster and faster.
Marge: And Bart isn't doing very well either. He needs boundaries and structure. There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome.
[Looks out window]
Bart: [creepily] Hello, mother dear.
Marge: That's it, we have to get them back to school.
Homer: I'm with you, Marge. Lisa. Get in here.
[Lisa walks in]
Homer: In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics
Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."
Kent Brockman: We win again. But the real winners here are Marge's Hors D'Oeuvres.
Homer: How do you come up with such witty remarks?
[focuses in on ear plug/mic]
Guy in the van: I guess you could say its my racket.
Kent Brockman: I guess you could say I'm Iraqi.
Homer: Get off my property.
Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.
Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
Homer: Hey boy! Wanna play catch?
Bart: No thanks dad.
Homer: When a son doesn't want to play catch with his father something is definitely wrong.
Grandpa Simpson: I'll play catch with you!
Homer: Go home.
Lisa: Oh, if I fail I won't even be able to get into Vassar.
Homer: I've had just about enough of your Vassar-bashing young lady.
Lisa: Look at the "wonders" of the computer age now.
Homer: Wonders Lisa? Or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: Implied... Or implode?
Homer: I do have a story about two other young marrieds. Now, the wife of this couple had an interesting quirk in the bedroom. It seems she goes wild with desire if her husband nibbles on her elbow.
Mrs. Krabappel: We need names.
Homer: Well, er, let's just call them, uh, "Mr. X" and "Mrs. Y." So anyway, Mr. X would say, "Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson."
Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
Homer: The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.
Marge: Homer, I don't want you driving around in a car you built yourself.
Homer: You can sit there complaining, or you can knit me some seat belts.
Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.
Bart: b-6
Homer: you sunk my scrabbleship!
Lisa: this game makes no sense.
Homer: tell that to the good men who just lost their lives... SEMPER-FI!
Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know.
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!
Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
*dies of laughter* I made my day!![[http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]](http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif "http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif")
------------------
[="Mothers stop cooking take off your aprons; Fathers stop looking at every sports station; Take a second, and think of every poor nation." - Nas=]
Massassian since: March 12, 2001
Frink: ...and these (handing books to Homer) should give you the grounding you'll need in thermodynamics, hypermathematics and of course microcalifragalistics.
Homer: Er, look, I just want to know how to invent things.
Frink: All you have to do is think of things which people need but which don't exist yet.
Homer: You mean like an electric blanket-mobile?
Frink: Www oh well, possibly. Or you could take something that already exists and find a new use for it, like...
Homer: Hamburger earmuffs.
Frink: Mmm well, I suppose that would qualify.
Homer: Thanks sucker. (Homer throws the books and runs off)
Frink: Weh, uh, alright just stay calm Frinky. These babies will be in the stores while he's still grappling with the pickle matrix bhay-gn-flay-vn.
Marge: I'm worried about the kids, Homey. Lisa's becoming very obsessive. This morning I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat.
Homer: I know. And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke. It just keeps going faster and faster.
Marge: And Bart isn't doing very well either. He needs boundaries and structure. There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome.
[Looks out window]
Bart: [creepily] Hello, mother dear.
Marge: That's it, we have to get them back to school.
Homer: I'm with you, Marge. Lisa. Get in here.
[Lisa walks in]
Homer: In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics
Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."
Kent Brockman: We win again. But the real winners here are Marge's Hors D'Oeuvres.
Homer: How do you come up with such witty remarks?
[focuses in on ear plug/mic]
Guy in the van: I guess you could say its my racket.
Kent Brockman: I guess you could say I'm Iraqi.
Homer: Get off my property.
Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.
Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
Homer: Hey boy! Wanna play catch?
Bart: No thanks dad.
Homer: When a son doesn't want to play catch with his father something is definitely wrong.
Grandpa Simpson: I'll play catch with you!
Homer: Go home.
Lisa: Oh, if I fail I won't even be able to get into Vassar.
Homer: I've had just about enough of your Vassar-bashing young lady.
Lisa: Look at the "wonders" of the computer age now.
Homer: Wonders Lisa? Or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: Implied... Or implode?
Homer: I do have a story about two other young marrieds. Now, the wife of this couple had an interesting quirk in the bedroom. It seems she goes wild with desire if her husband nibbles on her elbow.
Mrs. Krabappel: We need names.
Homer: Well, er, let's just call them, uh, "Mr. X" and "Mrs. Y." So anyway, Mr. X would say, "Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson."
Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
Homer: The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.
Marge: Homer, I don't want you driving around in a car you built yourself.
Homer: You can sit there complaining, or you can knit me some seat belts.
Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.
Bart: b-6
Homer: you sunk my scrabbleship!
Lisa: this game makes no sense.
Homer: tell that to the good men who just lost their lives... SEMPER-FI!
Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know.
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!
Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
*dies of laughter* I made my day!
------------------
[="Mothers stop cooking take off your aprons; Fathers stop looking at every sports station; Take a second, and think of every poor nation." - Nas=]
Massassian since: March 12, 2001
Got a permanent feather in my cap;
Got a stretch to my stride;
a stroll to my step;
Got a stretch to my stride;
a stroll to my step;
