First of all, I want to admit that I haven't posted on here in a while. Haven't posted much at all, actually. But at the moment, I really don't know where else to go... just need to vent for a bit...


So I've been with my girlfriend for a little over a year (13 months tomorrow, actually). The only thing we've fought about is my complete inability to get my act together and get a steady job (meaning more than just a couple of months, with at least a month in between). Her parents make it their mission to make her feel like I'm worthless because of that, even though they also say that they like me and think I'm a great person. And yes, I know this makes absolutely no sense.

I'm between jobs at the moment. Two days ago, my gf tells me that we're not together until I find a new job. So I do my damndest today to find something in this stupid little town I live in.

Tonight, she asks me to come over because she can't take being apart anymore, and that she wants to talk to me about something. That's the way it is with us... if we're apart more than a day, we both go insane. Problem is, I have to wait until her parents go to bed, because they don't want me over (for a completely unrelated reason). She tells me to just wait in the garage until it's safe, so I go and do that. Make sure I can't be seen from the window in the door and everything.

I'm in there less than ten minutes before I hear the door open. Her mom comes outside, opens the door to the garage, and turns on the light. I have no choice but to stand up and let her know I'm there, which scares the **** out of her. She goes back inside, repeating "I didn't see you, I'm not saying anything." So I go back to the end of the driveway and stand behind their van so I won't be seen again. Tell my gf over text message on my cell phone what happened. At this point I'm on the edge of some sort of breakdown, so I tell her to just tell me what she wanted to say before. She refuses. I push the issue, saying "now or never" (I know...). She finally gives in, pissed off, depressed, everything...

...she just wanted to tell me in person how much she loved me... and missed me...



...before her, I didn't even have the little bit of motivation to get a job, let alone keep it for as long as the two in the past year... she told me once that I used to have a blank look all the time, but that dissappeared when we started going out...

...she's everything to me... without her, I don't even know if I'll have the motivation to get out of bed in the morning... a friend of mine has been helping me with level layouts and concepts for a game I want to make, but it just feels pointless to me now to even try... hours of work tonight, for nothing...


...and we were planning on getting married... not soon, but within the next five years I guess...


...that's all I have to say... reply if you want, I really just wanted to get it off my chest and into words... this seemed like the best place to do it...

ehm.. how sweet. Good to know I'm not the only one who's completely whipped by a woman.


Two suggestions.

1. I don't know what's wrong with you and her parents, but get it worked out. Seriously. If you're gonna marry this girl (and sounds like you will), you'll not want a bad relationship with her parents hanging over your life. And it sounds like her parents are pretty laid back, but you're probably better off *not* hiding in the garage... who knows what they'll think? especially if her dad walks out (which by her mom's reaction, he's the one that doesn't want you over there).

2. Hold down a steady job! I don't know what the issue is, but whatever it is, get it worked out.. Maybe you're a smart allec and can't keep your comments to yourself, maybe you don't like doing the same thing for a long time.. Whatever it is, you're going to have to support this girl when the two of you get married, and if you keep starting over with a new job every few months, that's not gonna happen... And most of the time when a married couple gets divorced, finances (or lack thereof) plays a huge role.

anyway, that's my two cents... Hopefully that didn't sound to harsh. Didn't mean it in a mean way, just a suggestion.

I thought I had a perfectly fine relationship with her parents. But no matter what I do, they find something to complain about. They judge everyone who comes into their house. And her mom's reaction wasn't as good as you seem to think it was... my gf told me that after I got the hell out of there they were talking about me like I'm psychotic.

...and I just proved your point...

The only other thing I have to add to that part is, yes, I know it was a stupid idea. I did it anyway, because I wanted to see her, but that didn't happen. I could say, "well it was her idea!!!1", but in the end it was my choice, so that's pointless.



The problem with holding down a job is mostly because no matter what it is, I like it for a bit, then realize that I'm not doing something that'll get me closer to any sort of long-term goal. Believe me, the "you're going to have to support her later" has been told to me before... multiple times... I know this, and understand it.

To cover as much as possible: I know that the answer isn't just jumping from job to job. Gives a really bad impression to anyone who I might ask to hire me later.


...I don't want to sound like I'm saying "I KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY!!!", because I know that's not true at all. But the things that people tell me... they're obvious things... but they just keep repeating them... I know them, but for whatever stupid nonsensical reason, I can't put them into practice...

well... I guess knowing is the first step. Don't worry.. You'll get there. Btw, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

People finding the "perfect job" is a big fat lie for most people. You're going to have to find something and stick with it, like it or not. Or maybe go to school or something.

You'll find it's easier to get a good job if you've already got a job, this is a fact. If your working at the time you apply for a job your potential future employer sees that your willing to work rather than wondering why your not working (hope that makes more sense to you and me).
If you know your not going to stick with a job I've found it can be helpful to let your employer know (CAUTION: not a good idea with everybody though), they'll often be accommodating and ensure you can get time off for interviews. This is especially true with seasonal/temporary work, they know you'll be looking for work elsewhere and will appreciate your honesty.

Well, that's my advice. Good Luck

You must rise up and break free of this opression of the heart!

Break the chains the women have bound you in, forged in the fires of "love" and "attraction"!

Fight the power! Fight the lust! Fight the women!

Fight!
Fight!
Fight!



(or just give in willingly like I do. ::sigh:: )

Don't mind me asking, but how old are you?

yeh i know this story... heard it before

personally, my gf;s dad isnt sure on me since I'm always looking scruffy and called him Pete rather than Mr Spalding or something.

oh well

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

well.. I wouldn't want you to call me pete.

My girlfriends parents want me to call them mom and dad (at least her mom does). which is wierd for me. I'm kinda ok with it, cause I guess they will be mom and dad after the two of us are married, but it's a bit strange. meh.

I guess you just need time to sort both problems out separately, don't rush things or make stupid decisions. Make sure your gf knows you love her back so much too.

Also, Bob Marley once said.. No Woman, No Cry

This story reminds me of the 90's smash hit

Backstreet Boys - Shape of my Heart.

groan......


you should never feel this way about a woman... eventually they sense it and they will walk all over you.

I'm going to bang my girlfriend and then KILL CHRIS GRIFFIN!

For those who've asked: I'm 20.


Berlick: Good point. For some stupid reason I never thought of that.

Charoziak: *Laughs* Yeah, I think I'll go for the second option.

About the "what to call the parents": Her mom wants me to call her Mom. No idea on her dad... never really was an issue, because we haven't talked much... but I'd never call him Dad without him telling me to.



Page: I've read every post you've made regarding relationships in the past. Your way of thinking may be good for you, but it doesn't apply in all situations. In fact, I've told her the lines you quoted, and have yet to be taken advantage of in any way. I've seen the possibility for that to happen a few times, but it never has.



...and just so I keep everything updated:

I woke up this morning to her walking into my room. Short version is that we both agreed last night was a big series of mistakes. Dunno what more I can say, because I still feel like something is still unresolved... other than the no job yet part.

Well that was an unfounded insult.

Apparently you don't know Pagewizard very well...

Apparently neither do you. There is plenty of truth to what he said, I've had it happen to me before. I spent my time fussing over my ex-girlfriend, and she wound up being pushed away and ****ing my friend a couple days after she left me. She told me later that she couldn't stand having a guy way over-attached to her, that it was suffocating. If you overdo it, most girls will feel pushed away, or they'll take advantage of it, like PW said.

Seriously, Page may have said some chauvinistic things before, but you people need to stop jumping on him every time he posts, and just MAYBE consider what he has to say.

But that would include LOGIC and REASONING, which very few massassians have.

But, what Page doesn't appear to realize is that love is not about calculated risk. Love is a lot more than that. What irritates people about Page is that he belittles love by making seem like some kind of RTS, where different strategies are employed and various tactics are used. Love's not like that. Maybe one day Page will realize that, maybe he won't. But in the mean time, he should keep his mouth shut and not belittle the feelings that other people have towards the special people in their lives.

You've come to this conclusion based on your sole, single experience? Granted, there is a limit, but feeling extremely attached and wanting to spend each day with the person is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural part of a relationship - it's called passionate love, which, if there's something to build off of, eventually becomes companionate love.

Sarn hit the mark spot-on. Pagewizard is a "banger and leaver" kind of a guy, and his advice and disposition are not necessary here. If I wanted to find myself a one-night stand, I'd talk to Page. But if I wanted anything of a serious relationship, I wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot-pole. He should do the same to threads.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting and doing just that, I completely agree with you, Wolfy. But spending your time telling a girl that's she the queen of your world will eventually drive her insane if you're overpersistant. And I'm talking from a few experiences, not only one. It took me a while to learn.

But hey, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to spend as much time as possible with your loved one. The only problem would be if you didn't want to.

As far as we know, however, he's only told her once.

Oh my God, did he just say "bang" on television!?

not true. I generally start relationships with only a short-term thing in mind, but I'm willing to be in it for the long haul if things go good from the start. Now, its official, you've heard it from me.

Which is why you'll never be in it for the long haul, cause things are never gonna "go good from the start."

There is always time needed for the two people to adjust to each other.

by "good", I didn't mean perfect. I can be lenient about quite a few things, but I have to draw the line after a point.

I get the feeling Page got burned in Highschool and has been bitter and cynical ever since. (Deny it if you want, but TV told me it's true)

While TV is mostly full of s***, I'm not really bitter and cynical. I did get burned a lot freshman year in HS, and that is what motivated me to change b/c I hit the breaking point where i finally had enough of it all and decided to do something about it. I've been the way I am now (in a progressive degree) since Sophmore year.

bitter? perhaps.
cynical? definately.

Finally, people that would agree with my point of view..

Dude, she left you for a day because your unemployed? Stupid.

Yes. I agree with PW there. Overdoing anything of that sort and it will be your detriment. But this thread isn't about PW's personal views.

He said they WOULD, not that they might or could. That's my problem. Mainly I wanted a reason to say "fap".

If you don't like women walking all over you then install some speedbumps. Women always slow down when they see man-boobs.


Unless they wish they were a lesbian and not a hetero...

Wolfy: Actually, multiple times. And I've heard it multiple times, too, not neccessarily anytime close to when I said it.

I know there's going to be someone who says "How can you know that she means it?" It's not that hard to tell when someone's lying... body language, movements of the eyes, all sorts of little clues. I'd be able to tell. Especially after more than a year, I should be able to figure that out easily.


Kirby: I know it doesn't seem to make sense, but keep in mind I've only had a job for six of the thirteen months we've been together. Her parents have this really annoying habit of telling her that our relationship is doomed to fail after every little thing. After a while, hearing so much negativity finally got to her.



...I know I'm going to hear "That's a stupid idea, because (insert perfectly valid reason here)", but my gf's decided that she's not going to tell her parents that we're back/still together. Not yet, anyway. I agree with her, actually, because it'll save her from having to hear all sorts of negativity and twisted logic. She's a mess mentally from hearing that sort of stuff for years... getting better, but any little bit that she can be spared is a good thing in my opinion.




Final thing here: I'm just gonna let this thread die, since I pulled it from the second page. Anyone who wants to talk to me more about it can get me on AIM (same SN as on here). Only reason I posted was to keep things updated a little for anyone who's interested, and to sort of bring a close to the thread itself.


Thanks for the input tho. I may not agree with everything, but I like hearing what people think. Lets me see things from a different point of view.

Since he's requesting thread death and he's posted means of PM, I'm gonna close this. Like he said, you can PM him on AIM, here, whatever.