How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
As the final battle of Life of Grismath does indeed involve swordplay, I've been convinced to institute a Monkey Island-esque system of insults and comebacks to determine the beginning of the fight. Your enemy in this battle is your equal at dueling, every blow you strike, he parries, and vice versa. Your only hope is to throw him off his guard by using his insults against him.
Here's where you can help. There are quite a few witty, funny Massassians out there whom I'm sure could think up some swordfighting insults/comebacks. I'd prefer rhyming ones, but it's not necessary. Here are a few from the Curse of Monkey Island to get you in the mood:
Keep in mind that Grismath's adversary is a red-wearing blonde fellow who overthrew his reign and usurped his throne. In their initial encounter, Grismath chopped off this fellow, Darius Bennery,'s right arm, but he has since acquired a cybornetic replacement. Grismath is a dark-robed, bearded evil dictator warlord who has been overthrown from his old kingodm of Dhalkar but strives to reclaim his throne.
Give up. You are outclassed by your so-called usurper.
Who? Outclassed by a noname burper?
I will undo your reign of terror and destroy your lair.
My blade will undo your armor and your silly hair.
Destiny is on my side, for I am far holier than thou!
Or so you will be when you've met my blade, you sou.
The people of Dhalkar support me, and me alone.
Will they support your casket, and recover every bone?
Concede that you've finally met your match!
You cut like one harvesting a cabbage patch.
You are no match for my skill with a blade.
I've seen better fights from kids in second grade.
Soon all the world will revere the name of Bennery.
What a noble name for so unskilled an enemy.
I have freed the enslaved of this land. The call me liberator.
I have cut pawns like you down to size before. They call me terminator.
As the final battle of Life of Grismath does indeed involve swordplay, I've been convinced to institute a Monkey Island-esque system of insults and comebacks to determine the beginning of the fight. Your enemy in this battle is your equal at dueling, every blow you strike, he parries, and vice versa. Your only hope is to throw him off his guard by using his insults against him.
Here's where you can help. There are quite a few witty, funny Massassians out there whom I'm sure could think up some swordfighting insults/comebacks. I'd prefer rhyming ones, but it's not necessary. Here are a few from the Curse of Monkey Island to get you in the mood:
Quote:
I have never seen such clumsy swordplay
You would have, but you were always running away
Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated
Too bad they're all fabricated
I can't rest til' you've been exterminated
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated
I'll leave you devastated, mutiliated, and perforated
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated
I'll hound you night and day
Then be a good dog, Sit! Stay!
When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified
At least mine can be identified
You would have, but you were always running away
Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated
Too bad they're all fabricated
I can't rest til' you've been exterminated
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated
I'll leave you devastated, mutiliated, and perforated
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated
I'll hound you night and day
Then be a good dog, Sit! Stay!
When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified
At least mine can be identified
Keep in mind that Grismath's adversary is a red-wearing blonde fellow who overthrew his reign and usurped his throne. In their initial encounter, Grismath chopped off this fellow, Darius Bennery,'s right arm, but he has since acquired a cybornetic replacement. Grismath is a dark-robed, bearded evil dictator warlord who has been overthrown from his old kingodm of Dhalkar but strives to reclaim his throne.
Give up. You are outclassed by your so-called usurper.
Who? Outclassed by a noname burper?
I will undo your reign of terror and destroy your lair.
My blade will undo your armor and your silly hair.
Destiny is on my side, for I am far holier than thou!
Or so you will be when you've met my blade, you sou.
The people of Dhalkar support me, and me alone.
Will they support your casket, and recover every bone?
Concede that you've finally met your match!
You cut like one harvesting a cabbage patch.
You are no match for my skill with a blade.
I've seen better fights from kids in second grade.
Soon all the world will revere the name of Bennery.
What a noble name for so unskilled an enemy.
I have freed the enslaved of this land. The call me liberator.
I have cut pawns like you down to size before. They call me terminator.
