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ForumsDiscussion Forum → Children's science test answers
Children's science test answers
2005-04-27, 7:21 PM #1
Got these in an e-mail:

Quote:
If you need a laugh then read through these Children's Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2005-04-27, 7:26 PM #2
Behold: our future! :rolleyes:
2005-04-27, 7:28 PM #3
Fairly certain these aren't genuine answers.
2005-04-27, 7:30 PM #4
Quote:
Originally posted by Obi_Kwiet
Behold: our future! :rolleyes:

Like you would have done any better. :p
2005-04-27, 7:34 PM #5
I'm positive these aren't real. What kid would know what perspire meant but wouldn't know what season it was?
</sarcasm>
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__________
2005-04-27, 7:36 PM #6
How old are you? If you're under 20, then these kids (judging from the test questions) are less than 10 years younger than you... They're not young'ns who are ruining our world or anything. They're us! YOU!
2005-04-27, 8:20 PM #7
Quote:
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.


That busted me up.

Fors those of you thinking that these couldn't be real answers that kids could give . . . Well, I'll just say that I've seen similarly crazy answers to test questions when I was in middle school.
Pissed Off?
2005-04-27, 8:25 PM #8
haha, that reminds me of that dumb kid in sec4 history who thought canada was still a french colony :D
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2005-04-27, 8:30 PM #9
Yeah, that's really stupid. Everyone knows Canada belongs to the Russians.
2005-04-27, 9:26 PM #10
...Looks like some teacher or someone trying to be cute. These definitely are not real.
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2005-04-27, 9:45 PM #11
Quote:
Originally posted by Shintock
Yeah, that's really stupid. Everyone knows Canada belongs to the Russians.
no, my investments yielded enough money to allow me to buy it. :p
2005-04-27, 10:04 PM #12
I thought Canada was the 51st state of the US.
I bet you think that's funny, don't you.
2005-04-27, 10:09 PM #13
They're not all from one kids.

IE, they were taken from different grades, from different types of kids.

There's nothing saying these couldn't be real.
一个大西瓜
2005-04-27, 10:11 PM #14
Seems fake to me...I don't think little kids would say things like "Premature death" or "perspire". Maybe they would say "You die faster" or "sweat", but I doubt these are true. Most of them just sound forced and fake.

And they weren't even funny either.

Yes Im negative.
2005-04-27, 11:20 PM #15
those are stupid... it seems like someone was TRYING to find ways to answer the questions differently then they were suppose to.

the worstly stupid ones (i said that dumbly on purpose) were the following...

The dew formed one, the puberty one, the cigarettes one, and the body parts one... and why would children use the term "bowels" if I were a kid, and I am, I would have simply said "the poop chute"
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2005-04-27, 11:29 PM #16
Quote:
Originally posted by Spiral
those are stupid... it seems like someone was TRYING to find ways to answer the questions differently then they were suppose to.


Yes exactly!
2005-04-28, 12:00 AM #17
I dunno, I remember hearing a story of someone in a history class in HIGH SCHOOL who asked my friend who won the Civil War: The South or the Confederates. I have no reason to disbelieve her account either.
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2005-04-28, 12:03 AM #18
They probably were. I know several people who make up random answers like that for tests for various reasons (disliking the teacher, not caring, not knowing the right answer, trying to be funny, etc). And, as mentioned before, it's not all taken from one student, and it could have been taken from any grade level, not just little children. I wouldn't be surprised if it were fake, but since there's no evidence proving that it is, i'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt
Moo.
2005-04-28, 12:58 AM #19
There is not enough faith placed in intelligent, smart-alecky kids here.

I am without a doubt that I would've said crap very similar to that to try to be funny when I was in like .. 6th grade.
一个大西瓜
2005-04-28, 1:08 AM #20
Either most of those are fake or from people who purposefully tried to come up with a fake (funny) answer. I liked more those texts that contained funny yet genuine answers by kids.
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2005-04-28, 3:51 AM #21
Let's just hope they're over in Europe and not America. :P "America's 'proud' future!" :( :P And erm, Canada was founded by the British (Hudson bay area anyway), than the French came in with Quebec, and than after the French and Indian War, the British forced the French to leave Canada / major cities to tem. Than we tryed to take it from the British during the American Revolution. Didn't turn out so good. :(
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2005-04-28, 5:47 AM #22
These responses seem to be too articulate to be stupid answers to test questions as written by children.

Yeah, they also weren't that funny. On the other hand, the TV show (I guess it isn't on anymore) Kids Say the Darndest Things was very funny because the kids made fools of themselves.
2005-04-28, 7:22 AM #23
i donno, this one was kina funny:
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
and an age approate question for that sort of answer
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2005-04-28, 8:21 AM #24
Quote:
Originally posted by JDKNITE188
Kids Say the Darndest Things was very funny because the kids made fools of themselves.


Most do that anyways just by existing
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2005-04-28, 9:16 AM #25
Quote:
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.





AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! makes perfect sense!
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2005-04-28, 10:04 AM #26
Quote:
Originally posted by Jazzkokehead
I thought Canada was the 51st state of the US.


:rolleyes:
2005-04-28, 10:34 AM #27
Reminds me a lot of my high school...they used "big" words to show they were smart. Of course this was the school where we had this kind of final and I was one of the few that got it correct: there was a sheep in the middle of the page and the only directions were to circle the sheep. Many people put a square around the sheep. Behold...the future!
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
2005-04-28, 4:21 PM #28
Quote:
Originally posted by Dizzy Devil
:rolleyes:


Check the batteries on your sarcasm detector. ;)
Pissed Off?
2005-04-28, 5:10 PM #29
Quote:
Originally posted by Schming
...Looks like some teacher or someone trying to be cute. These definitely are not real.
Actually, these are the kind of answers kids tend to give when they think they know the meaning of a word and attempt to use it, or don't know different forms of the verb and make one up (i.e. "adultery" instead of "adulthood".) Stuff like that happens all the time with younger kids (and dumb older ones, too).
Quote:
Originally posted by Shintock
Like you would have done any better. :p
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