I have a problem. My girlfriend has been convinced by her best friend that I'm doing stuff behind her back. She's mad because she's convinced that I'm lying to her about it. I would not even put up with it except for the fact that it was her best-friend telling her this stuff and I can 100% understand why she'd trust her best friend over me. I just need advice, or help, or something....how can I show her I'm not lying?

Specifically, her friend has said that I go hang out with people I don't like and lie to my g/f about it. Then my g/f tells me she went to my work to see if I'd been hanging out with people there behind her back and they said I was. The thing about this is I honestly think she made that last part up to see if she could catch me in a lie because I know I haven't done anything she said. BUT there's a small chance she did go and asked if "Chris" was hanging out with anyone when there's another guy there named "Kris" who I know has friends he hangs out with.

We've been together 9 months now, and like I've said before: If it wasn't her best friend telling her these things I'd be totally fed up with it. I don't even know why her friend is making stuff up about me, and I don't know how to convince her that her friend is lying.

help...

buy her something...

:p

You have two problems here.

Your immediate problem being what you just described. On the larger scale, your problem is that your girlfriend doesn't trust you. You might work this out, but unless you eventually work on the larger issue, problems like this will continue to come up.

Haha, sounds like she's a tad immature. Why is it a bad thing you 'hang out with people?' Sounds like she's got insecurities of her own. Tell her to suck it up or shut the funkerbean up.

JediKirby

when my g/f acts like that i reverse the question you asked and ask her how she wants me to prove that i was not, sometimes you can get your parents invovled and they can help vouche for you, that would really show her. Other than that, just tell her that you will start calling her more to tell her where you are and what you're doing, stuff like that, just so that the trust is built back up. Trust is definately the key word here, and i think it's time you sat sown and had a talk about what it is that is making her not trust you in the first palce, if she sees that you are trying to work this out, if she level headed, she'll start to realize that you are obviously telling the truth if you are putting in this much effort.

If she is having suspicions, the trust is gone. It's only a matter of time before it falls apart.

The problem isn't that I'm hanging out with people, that's fine. The problem is that we've both had(have) drug issues, and hanging out with people and lying about it equals drug use.

It's just very rough because I know if the situation was reversed, It would take alot to make me believe someone else over my best friend. She's known this person for years and years...

It's horrible...her best friend is lying to her and there's nothing I can do about that....


She's brought up the fact that she'd feel better if she talked to my parents, she said "What if I talked to your mom? What would she say?" Then when I say "Exactly what I'm telling you, believe me!" She then goes into defense mode and says "you lie to your parents all the time so there's no way I can trust what they say because you could be lying to them!"

I'm hoping that the effort I'm putting into it is what's gonna save us. That's what I keep falling back on; If I was lying to you, and didn't want this relationship, why would I still be here?"



I fear that's whats happening



The largest problem that I can see is that she doesn't trust herself, and therefore can't trust others. Plus every boyfriend she's ever had has cheated on her and beat her. I'm the first and only good one, and I don't think she's able to recognize this.

This isn't the first advice I've asked for, but before I aliased for privacy. I think, like last time, it'll just take time and trust to make it through the issues.

Thanks for the advice, it's always good to have a different perspective on things even when you think you've thought of everything

You guys have had a lot of issues--I remember talking you through a similar issue a while back. The only thing I can say is you should try to work through this. The best thing to do would be to just spend as much time as possible with her.

Yu hit the nail on the head right there. You are not causing any chaos in the realtionship, so she is creating it for herself.

Call her incessantly and tell her that her friend is a lying whore. It'll work.

Maybe I'm just a pessimist, but this relationship is all but over. If she doesn't realize she's in the wrong soon, then cut your losses and move on.

Prove her suspicions right.

Spread rumours about her friends.... Or do something more mature being suggested in this direction ^.

That's the best bet. It's pretty clear she has major trust issues and she's not likely to come around.

I think the most important question to ask yourself is: is your girlfriend hot enough to put up with her bull****?

Little boy, there's more to having a girlfriend than just how hot she is.

no woman is hot enough to justify you having to put up with issues like that. Hotness is not an issue here.