Copied this from another forum I visit:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
>[no, really?]
>
>Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
>[now that's taking things a bit far!]
>
>Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
>[what a guy!]
>
>Miners Refuse to Work after Death
>[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]
>
>Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
>[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]
>
>War Dims Hope for Peace
>[I can see where it might have that effect!]
>
>If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
>[you think?!]
>
>Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
>[who would have thought!]
>
>Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
>[they may be on to something!]
>
>Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
>[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]
>
>Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
>[he probably IS the battery charge!]
>
>New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
>[weren't they fat enough?!]
>
>Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
>[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
>
>Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
>[Taste like chicken?]
>
>Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
>[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
>
>Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
>[Boy, are they tall!]
>
>And the winner is....
>
>Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
>Did I read that sign right?

lmfao...wow....nice

I remember some godawful local paper had a headline that ran, "Look out, a plane!" after a private jet crashed into a warehouse in south Jersey.

Those were awesome. Man, were some of those from Leno's show?

the best one was the one on jay leno's headlines that was in response to the 'vagina monologues'

it said:

"crowd wowed by touching 'vagina'".

touching as in emotional and meaningful.

good lord.









haha.

i'm assuming this is... errr.... apporiate enough to post.

I remember seeing one--I don't remember what it said exactly, but it was something like this:

Army sergeant sentenced to 4 years for drowning.

(You'd think that would be punishment enough!)

Those are great. The best ones always seem to come from little local papers where the editors are either lazy or stupid.

The college paper runs a police blotter everyday and a few years back, someone called the cops because their sandwich was stolen.

This was an image caption, not a headline, but I wanted to scan it and post it but I had no scanner

"Scientists finally discover difference between men and women" (picture was of a woman smiling)

That is pure and utter GOLD.

Reminds me of the funniest Fark headline ever, cant remember it exactly but it was something like:

Helicopter crashes into Iraqi cemetary, thousands found dead