Hail Massassians, I could use a little cheering up and some advice right about now.
I'm currently working at a residential summer camp as a counselor in training. This means that while I have been in this program (albiet as a camper) for four years, my duties are subordinate to the full counselors, almost all of whom are completely new - plus I don't get paid.
I don't mind this all that much, since I had such a good time here in my camper days that I don't mind doing all this for 3 weeks for free. The kids are great - they're pretty well-behaved, sharp for their age, and often funny. The counselors are actually really cool people, but they're rather older than I, and here lies part of my problem.
It just so happens that I was heretofore completely unacquainted with the world of education from the perspective of an educator, and now I find myself managing yougins, assisting in classes.... and surrounded by some stunning women who, while completely out of my league in the categories of age, maturity, intellect in their craft, and beauty, still have no qualms with driving me, their peer, absolutely crazy because I'm in flirtatious contact with them all day, every day, and since I'm here 24/7, I have no way to keep to myself or circulate with girls my age (who are all, incidentally, off partying and debauching in ways I don't want to think of right now).
But talk with them and boyishly yearn as I may, these ladies are also in similarly close quarters with my fellow gentleman counselors, which confounds and annoys me (all irrationally, of course), to no end, and I really want to get a grip.
This all became slightly painfully (more depressing and frustrating than painful) apparent this morning at breakfast when I dragged my sleepy behind into the cafeteria and tried to strike up a conversaion with this Texan lass I fancy that I fancy. Two nights ago, a bunch of the counselors were whiling away our much-coveted 'off hours' (11-1 AM, when everything is already shut down in town), but I was getting restless at the fact that we were all poor conversationalists and had nothing to talk about. I went to the bathroom and reamed myself for being such a silly coward and came back to a still awkwardly silent group and asked the very hot future teacher to my left if she wanted to take a walk with me to the office...but suddenly everyone arrested us, telling us that the office was all chained up after hours.
I was now standing and paced around saying that I was getting restless, and the aforementioned Texan lass said that she just wanted to go somewhere, so I volunteered that she and I go on a drive and BAM we were walking to the parking lot. We got on well enough for people from locationally different but socially similar backgrounds, and the drive was pleasant enough except for the fact that I was driving like a drunkard with respect to the lines on the roads, signs, and lights, because while I'm prescribed glasses I refuse to wear them on account of my looking awful and my parents always refused to let me get contacts or laser surgery. Night-driving aside, we went to this ice cream place and proceeded on foot, but it turned out that it was closed, so we went back and I, though somewhat crestfallen, suggested that we try again sometime, to which the lass readily agreed.
We weren't so talkative on the way back, so I turned up the radio and we did a driveby taunt of all the other counselors still sitting around outside the dorm. Going out with that far more womanly companion than the girlish twits I know was exciting as I of course was treated by someone I would otherwise look up to as an adult as one of them. When I parked again (in a different lot, forcing us to walk through the woods), I was thinking THIS IS THE PART WHERE WE HOOK UP GOGOGO, but alas, my hand was stayed by my awkwardness at being so young, momentary confusion about adult social mores, how our professional involvement came into play, and the evil specter of doubt. I think way too much.
So we returned, and on the last part of our walk, as we approached the others, she seemed a little distant. The night ended, and I still went to bed happy and excited about the experience. The next day, however, whenever I saw her, I thought of her in terms of what she had been wearing and how she had acted the night before, and I felt myself unwillingly almost acting clingy and following her around if not with my self, then with my eyes and trying to strike up conversations when I had nothing to say, o, dope that I am.
Last night, this really big redneckish sort of fellow left half an hour early for his off hours (I was on duty back at the dorm) to 'get gas' for what he told me would probably be 10-30 minutes tops. I didn't see him for the rest of the night even though I was by the door, so he must have come in around 1. This morning, while trying to talk coherently with the Texan, let alone relate an anecdote, she winked suggestively, but not in my direction, but instead at someone behind me. After I delivered the punch line to no real effect, I excaped to the dessert section behind me... to find sir redneck picking up a corn muffin. OOOOOOH *smotes a corn muffin to dust*
Not that I can blame either of them, though. He's far more suitable for her than I would be, a huge redneck mid-Northerner out of college and a hot Southern cowgirl wannabe in her second year. But that doesn't make it smart any less.
All the ladies seem to be pairing up very nicely with guys other than me, much to my chagrin in other ways similar to the one above, which should not be allowed! When I'm sitting at home coding or drawing or doing whatever I do to squander my youth, I don't even need to think about the fairer sex. I can consider them with a distant, chauvinistic disdain and be happy with myself. But now that I have a couple drop-deads around me, I feel completely alone, and my girl from home is galavanting off from one party to the next trip nonstop while the other girls I know from my circles are all also paired up for the summer. I always seem to miss the train. :[
I know I'm only here for three weeks, but this is three weeks in the impatient fire of my youth, when I should be DOING something and wooing women with some iota of success instead of being completely awkward while I chase extremely desireable women older than I who always manage to run off into the arms of others.
I'm currently working at a residential summer camp as a counselor in training. This means that while I have been in this program (albiet as a camper) for four years, my duties are subordinate to the full counselors, almost all of whom are completely new - plus I don't get paid.
I don't mind this all that much, since I had such a good time here in my camper days that I don't mind doing all this for 3 weeks for free. The kids are great - they're pretty well-behaved, sharp for their age, and often funny. The counselors are actually really cool people, but they're rather older than I, and here lies part of my problem.
It just so happens that I was heretofore completely unacquainted with the world of education from the perspective of an educator, and now I find myself managing yougins, assisting in classes.... and surrounded by some stunning women who, while completely out of my league in the categories of age, maturity, intellect in their craft, and beauty, still have no qualms with driving me, their peer, absolutely crazy because I'm in flirtatious contact with them all day, every day, and since I'm here 24/7, I have no way to keep to myself or circulate with girls my age (who are all, incidentally, off partying and debauching in ways I don't want to think of right now).
But talk with them and boyishly yearn as I may, these ladies are also in similarly close quarters with my fellow gentleman counselors, which confounds and annoys me (all irrationally, of course), to no end, and I really want to get a grip.
This all became slightly painfully (more depressing and frustrating than painful) apparent this morning at breakfast when I dragged my sleepy behind into the cafeteria and tried to strike up a conversaion with this Texan lass I fancy that I fancy. Two nights ago, a bunch of the counselors were whiling away our much-coveted 'off hours' (11-1 AM, when everything is already shut down in town), but I was getting restless at the fact that we were all poor conversationalists and had nothing to talk about. I went to the bathroom and reamed myself for being such a silly coward and came back to a still awkwardly silent group and asked the very hot future teacher to my left if she wanted to take a walk with me to the office...but suddenly everyone arrested us, telling us that the office was all chained up after hours.
I was now standing and paced around saying that I was getting restless, and the aforementioned Texan lass said that she just wanted to go somewhere, so I volunteered that she and I go on a drive and BAM we were walking to the parking lot. We got on well enough for people from locationally different but socially similar backgrounds, and the drive was pleasant enough except for the fact that I was driving like a drunkard with respect to the lines on the roads, signs, and lights, because while I'm prescribed glasses I refuse to wear them on account of my looking awful and my parents always refused to let me get contacts or laser surgery. Night-driving aside, we went to this ice cream place and proceeded on foot, but it turned out that it was closed, so we went back and I, though somewhat crestfallen, suggested that we try again sometime, to which the lass readily agreed.
We weren't so talkative on the way back, so I turned up the radio and we did a driveby taunt of all the other counselors still sitting around outside the dorm. Going out with that far more womanly companion than the girlish twits I know was exciting as I of course was treated by someone I would otherwise look up to as an adult as one of them. When I parked again (in a different lot, forcing us to walk through the woods), I was thinking THIS IS THE PART WHERE WE HOOK UP GOGOGO, but alas, my hand was stayed by my awkwardness at being so young, momentary confusion about adult social mores, how our professional involvement came into play, and the evil specter of doubt. I think way too much.
So we returned, and on the last part of our walk, as we approached the others, she seemed a little distant. The night ended, and I still went to bed happy and excited about the experience. The next day, however, whenever I saw her, I thought of her in terms of what she had been wearing and how she had acted the night before, and I felt myself unwillingly almost acting clingy and following her around if not with my self, then with my eyes and trying to strike up conversations when I had nothing to say, o, dope that I am.
Last night, this really big redneckish sort of fellow left half an hour early for his off hours (I was on duty back at the dorm) to 'get gas' for what he told me would probably be 10-30 minutes tops. I didn't see him for the rest of the night even though I was by the door, so he must have come in around 1. This morning, while trying to talk coherently with the Texan, let alone relate an anecdote, she winked suggestively, but not in my direction, but instead at someone behind me. After I delivered the punch line to no real effect, I excaped to the dessert section behind me... to find sir redneck picking up a corn muffin. OOOOOOH *smotes a corn muffin to dust*
Not that I can blame either of them, though. He's far more suitable for her than I would be, a huge redneck mid-Northerner out of college and a hot Southern cowgirl wannabe in her second year. But that doesn't make it smart any less.
All the ladies seem to be pairing up very nicely with guys other than me, much to my chagrin in other ways similar to the one above, which should not be allowed! When I'm sitting at home coding or drawing or doing whatever I do to squander my youth, I don't even need to think about the fairer sex. I can consider them with a distant, chauvinistic disdain and be happy with myself. But now that I have a couple drop-deads around me, I feel completely alone, and my girl from home is galavanting off from one party to the next trip nonstop while the other girls I know from my circles are all also paired up for the summer. I always seem to miss the train. :[
I know I'm only here for three weeks, but this is three weeks in the impatient fire of my youth, when I should be DOING something and wooing women with some iota of success instead of being completely awkward while I chase extremely desireable women older than I who always manage to run off into the arms of others.
![[http://www.stromandfriends.com/emu1.jpg]](http://www.stromandfriends.com/emu1.jpg "http://www.stromandfriends.com/emu1.jpg")