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ForumsDiscussion Forum → Happy Ending/Beginning
Happy Ending/Beginning
2005-07-16, 1:26 PM #1
I understand that a few of you out there took some interest in the going-ons of my frustrated rants about camp relations, so I'll complete the trilogy with, lo and behold, a happy ending (but still a quandry that's flipped things around).

After getting the 'let's just be friends' talk twice in one week, I said screw it to The Game and threw in the towel. I accepted the rest of camp as a learning experience and I took a lot of the advice you folks had given me to heart. Much as could be predicted, though, as soon as I stopped caring, people started caring about me.

The final dance approached, and all my lads were pestering me about who I was going to ask, and all the girls kept bugging me about who I liked. I firmly insisted that I was perfectly secure in going on my own, that counselors didn't need dates, and that I didn't like any of the staff 'like that'. They, of course, didn't understand, and remained on the warpath.

I got a call from the Texan lass I mentioned in my first thread who had nothing to do that night, so we agreed to watch a movie on her laptop that night. Everyone said that we flirted a lot all the time, but I never noticed this, and on the busride back from a theatre production we supervised, she rested her head on my shoulder, but that was the extent of it. I took her out to this really scenic spot on the roof of an enclosed gothic courtyard and I watched Garden State with ym arms around her under the midnight sky. I was resolved to roll over on her and make out the moment the movie ended, but it ended unexpectedly, and while there was a brief window of opportunity, by the time I realzied it, it had closed. Oh well.

I took her out to my usual date diner, where the service must think very strangely of me, because I'd been taking a different girl there every other night that week. We shared a milkshake and then I took her on back. I missed another opportunity to kiss her in the car as she paused for a moment while I immediately opened the door and jumped out. As we walked back to the girls dorm, I missed yet another chance, ended up hugging her and feeling like a complete idiot, and took the walk of shame back, kicking myself for my unresponsiveness.

The computer in my car had blown, so I took it into the shop. I was sunk and tied to the campus. The next night I was supposed to be on duty all nigth, so I resigned myself to playing Magic cards for old time's sake with a housemaster who had been my counselor back when I was a camper myself. Two games in, my housemaster barged into the dorm and said, "You there. You've got a woman and a car waiting for you outside. Gonna get laid." The housemaster I was playing cards with chuckled, but I saw the alarm bells in his eyes.

I went to put my cards away, but by the time I went outside, this fellow had weaseled his way into the back seat. Talk about awkward, I was just crossing my fingers that he didn't start mentioning the particulars of my Dwarven deck and the victory of his 6/5 cleric. :o

So off we go, the Texan lass behind the wheel, me in shotgun, and this goofy middle aged fellow between and behind us singing to all the songs on the radio. I suggested that we go to the diner, but afterwards, we finally ditched him.

The housemaster had lent us his blue Mustang, so we had a bit of fun on the highway. I finally directed her to the local national park which was bathed in a thick, rolling fog, and then I took her down this path, sideskirting a little runoff pond and on up to this huge arch and we made out for a good hour before a park ranger car was approaching and we ran for it. On the way back, much to my confusion, all the fog had disappated, and the pond had drained.

Ever since then, everything has been escalating, and my principles have come into some degree of question. It's far easier to promote chastity when hot girls don't pay attention to you than when one starts asking you to get smashed and spend the night with her.... :\ Do I sacrifice these ideals for a doubtless good time, or do I lose this opportunity on account of my moral convictions?
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
1473 for '1337' posts.
2005-07-16, 1:37 PM #2
*Sigh of relief* ahh...now I feel like I can die now that the story is completed....or is it?

The question you ask is a very complicated one, in which I respond: Have a good time and relax, but be reasonable and wait for her acceptance. Also, do what you want to do and feel right. If you're willing to face consequences and gamble, then do it. If you wanna stick on the safe side and not risk it, then wait. :)
2005-07-16, 1:41 PM #3
wooh
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2005-07-16, 1:44 PM #4
Writing is definitely your hidden talent. I suggest you use it.

To answer your question. I would not give up your ideals for ONE day/night of "good times." I think this world needs more men of their convictions.
Code to the left of him, code to the right of him, code in front of him compil'd and thundered. Programm'd at with shot and $SHELL. Boldly he typed and well. Into the jaws of C. Into the mouth of PERL. Debug'd the 0x258.
2005-07-16, 1:45 PM #5
Quote:
Originally posted by JediGandalf
Writing is definitely your hidden talent. I suggest you use it.

To answer your question. I would not give up your ideals for ONE day/night of "good times." I think this world needs more men of their convictions.


Writing is his good hidden talent. With some revalations and practice, he could write up a book about....MASSASSI?!?!?!

>.>
2005-07-16, 1:58 PM #6
Quote:
Originally posted by JediGandalf
Writing is definitely your hidden talent. I suggest you use it.

To answer your question. I would not give up your ideals for ONE day/night of "good times." I think this world needs more men of their convictions.


Once again I wholeheartedly agree with JG. Standards are nothing if you give them up the second they are questioned. What was the point of having them in the first place? I say stick to your guns. If she can't understand/appreciate you for having such high moral standards, then she probably doesn't have any herself, in which case it would probably be for the best if you weren't with her. It's just bad logic to be with someone that dissagrees with our tries to undermine your moral convictions.
"I'm interested in the fact that the less secure a person is, the more likely it is for that person to have extreme prejudices." -Clint Eastwood
2005-07-16, 3:18 PM #7
Quote:
Originally posted by JediGandalf
To answer your question. I would not give up your ideals for ONE day/night of "good times." I think this world needs more men of their convictions.


I couldn't agree more.
2005-07-16, 5:53 PM #8
I'm very tempted to just say go get laid...I've been following your progress and can relate on numerous similarities.

I had various opportunities until the age of 20 to "spend the night" with girls but like yourself had a certain set of moral values that prevented me from doing so, or at least swayed my decision.

Now nearly at the age of 22, after being with my current girlfriend for nearly a year and a 1/2 I wish I would have taken some of the opportunities that had come my way. Not only would I have got some prior experience but also more confidence around girls. I was never scared or particularly shy around girls, but you do change after experiencing it, physically no, mentally yes, the closest I relate it too is lifting a lot of pressure off yourself you never knew existed.

(I'm not totally aware of your age, guessing at 18-19 and that whoever this girl is she would be your *first*, forgive me if I’ve been wrong up to now and after)

I'm not suggesting that you go out looking for "it", and "spending the night" could just mean spending the night, nothing may happen, indeed I had 3-4 nights with one girl at university before my current girlfriend and we just slept together/cuddled/kissed but nothing more.

Its a complicated situation which I'm sure your blatantly aware of, but depending on your values you will at some point in your life consciously want to go through with your desires. What you need to ask yourself is

1) Do I consider this girl to be the "one".

(if indeed you have such a thing, I suppose we all do/did up until such time as we realise we may never find her/him <<for the few females among us)

2) Are you willing to have a summer fling and is she and not want more after.

aaarrr crap, as I've been writing this I've thought up various many more questions, supposing the type of person you are you most likely have similar things going on in your head so you probably already know the type of things you need to ask yourself before you proceed.

Basically do what you feel is right, just because you may sleep with a few girls before you marry does not mean you'll lose your morals, it may indeed make you wiser for the future.

Experience is a great lesson, this girl could well end up being one of those “What if’s” later on in life, do you want to leave it like that, are you happy with what your memories of this summer will be like in 5-10-15-more years time if things stay the way they are? If the answer is no then you should act, don’t miss the opportunities that present themselves, they may not come again, do what you feel is right and except the consequences, good or bad.

Btw, don’t take my advice, I wouldn’t…take Baz Luhrmann's .
People of our generation should not be subjected to mornings.

Rbots
2005-07-16, 6:09 PM #9
Bondo (hehe) makes a very good point. Your moral structure is in tact as long as you don't regret what you do later on in life. Many experiences (including sex) are meant to be had whenever you're ready for it. Don't be stigmatized by a lofty ideal that barely holds relevence in today's world.
-=I'm the wang of this here site, and it's HUGE! So just imagine how big I am.=-
1337Yectiwan
The OSC Empire
10 of 14 -- 27 Lives On
2005-07-16, 6:32 PM #10
Quote:
Originally posted by James Bond
I had 3-4 nights with one girl at university before my current girlfriend and we just slept together/cuddled/kissed but nothing more.


:o omq who!? :p

Anyway, my advice would be (who would have thought?!) somewhere to the more conservative side of James Bond. As has been said, you have morals for a reason, and though our hormones undoubtably make us question them, it's not worth regretting something for the rest of your life.

Presumably the fact that you're even considering this means that you weren't bothered with whether your first time would be pre-marital, just whether or not it would mean something. I personally don't think of marriage as something particularly important, and I simply waited until I felt right before having sex for the first time. For me, this meant being in love, but for you it may mean something else. If you're comfortable with this girl and you both want the same things (whether that's a long term relationship or just a summer fling) then perhaps it is the right time.

Above all, I'd say talk to her. As someone said earlier, if she is unwilling to respect your feelings, you shouldn't be with her anyway. If it's the idea of sounding too much 'like a virgin' (assuming you are, I'd guess from the sounds of what you're saying that you are), don't worry. Girls respect guys that are able to think with their brains as well as their penises, if anything it'll probably make her want you more, unless, again, all she wants is a crazy night with a random warm body.
<spe> maevie - proving dykes can't fly

<Dor> You're levelling up and gaining more polys!
2005-07-16, 6:55 PM #11
Quote:
Originally posted by Yecti
Bondo (hehe)


uummm...i've been thinking of changing my name....

Quote:
Originally posted by maevie
:o omq who!? :p


her name was Tracy, she was on the same floor as Fran and Jennifer in the first year at South Woody, did drama, never made it through the first year.

I can kinda thank Ben and Adam for screwing up my chances there after talking to them about her, how I thought it was going, nothing personal mind. As both of them were in long term relationships at the time I was asking advice, do's and don't's from people who had experience.

Then the next time she came to the flat in creed the two of them saw her before she knocked on my door and said, "ah so James made it to "1/2/3 base" (can't remember what they mean, or which one they said)", she got rather upset with me for talking to them about "us" and that was it.... :(

women... :rolleyes:

anyways, sorry for delving off-topic and having a discussion only myself and maeve know anything about...just thought my failed attempts at love could be of a lesson (and laugh)...

NEVER tell your friends about your relationships they have BIG mouths.
People of our generation should not be subjected to mornings.

Rbots
2005-07-16, 7:21 PM #12
wow, kinda surprising that they'd be that insensitive. Though... thinking about it, I'm pretty sure everyone at Ben's knew all the details of our relationship... I'd talk to Dave and Kev, Ben would talk to Dave and Adam.... and so the circle of life continues!!
<spe> maevie - proving dykes can't fly

<Dor> You're levelling up and gaining more polys!
2005-07-16, 9:23 PM #13
Thanks for all the advice, luckily we only made out tonight, so I'll have to sit her down one of these days and talk over what we want out of this. She'll be going back to Texas ina few weeks, so I am limiting this in my mind to the 'fling' category, but how deeply I'll dive into the great unknown remains yet to be seen.
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
1473 for '1337' posts.
2005-07-17, 11:57 AM #14
Quote:
Originally posted by Lord_Grismath
Thanks for all the advice, luckily we only made out tonight, so I'll have to sit her down one of these days and talk over what we want out of this. She'll be going back to Texas ina few weeks, so I am limiting this in my mind to the 'fling' category, but how deeply I'll dive into the great unknown remains yet to be seen.


Not to sound preachy, but sex is a very emotion tying event. No matter what you'll be somewhat emotionally attached to that person. So if it's only a "fling" is it really worth it? Plus you gotta factor in the risks. A fling can turn into a life long thing if something doesn't work during the hook up.

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