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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Intelligent Falling!
Intelligent Falling!
2005-08-26, 8:46 AM #1
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2

Hee, The Onion strikes gold again

(Also, interesting note, Isaac Newton thought that Jesus' 'function' was to create Gravity. Or, indeed, gravitas.)
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. " - Bertrand Russell
The Triumph of Stupidity in Mortals and Others 1931-1935
2005-08-26, 9:04 AM #2
Funny!
2005-08-26, 9:42 AM #3
Hehe nice, I like the picture in the background of that guy, looks like the momentum suddenly changes and stops moving horizontally.
Sneaky sneaks. I'm actually a werewolf. Woof.
2005-08-26, 9:42 AM #4
Quote:
"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."


That article was good!
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
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2005-08-26, 1:18 PM #5
There isn't actually real people in this world who believes this sort of thing....right?
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2005-08-26, 1:21 PM #6
Originally posted by Echoman:
There isn't actually real people in this world who believes this sort of thing....right?


Think again dude!

I don't mean to sound condescending but maybe this rhetorical question will give you a clue: How do both humans and birds dodge falling objects without knowledge of the mathematical laws of gravity?
-WJ, Internet Infidels
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■■■■■■■■ enshu
2005-08-26, 1:23 PM #7
Ugh. Let's not get into another physics debate... but...

Don't discount this theory. It probably can't / won't ever be proved, but I don't think that anyone could prove it wrong, either? Perhaps greater mass = greater gravity because God wanted it to? Who knows?


whatever
"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
2005-08-26, 1:26 PM #8
That's pretty funny stuff.
>>untie shoes
2005-08-26, 1:35 PM #9
Quote:
"What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"


Hee.
2005-08-26, 1:37 PM #10
lol
visit my project

"I wonder to myself. Why? Simply why? Why why? Why do I ask why? Why do I need to find out why? Why do I have to ask why as a question? Why is why always used to find out why? Why is the answer to why always why? Why is there no final answer to why? Simply why not? Holy cow, this is pretty deep, meaningful **** I wrote. Glad I wrote it down. Oh man."
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ [slog], Echoman
2005-08-26, 2:11 PM #11
It certainly does well to use an argument of the absurd.

I wonder if I should try dragging some people I know to look at this thread...
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2005-08-26, 2:27 PM #12
What I want to know is this:

If they can mandate that schools have to teach Intelligent Design according to Christians... Why don’t they also have to teach the creation of the world according to the beliefs of the Church of the SubGenius...

Otherwise it’s just discrimination.
"Well, if I am not drunk, I am mad, but I trust I can behave like a gentleman in either
condition."... G. K. Chesterton

“questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself”
2005-08-26, 2:44 PM #13
I vote that we teach Flying Spaghetti Monster-ism
Stuff
2005-08-26, 2:56 PM #14
Originally posted by Matterialize:
Don't discount this theory. It probably can't / won't ever be proved, but I don't think that anyone could prove it wrong, either?

"It can't be proven to not exist, thus it must exist" is a logical error. Also known in courts as putting the burden of proof on the defense.
Democracy: rule by the stupid
2005-08-26, 3:04 PM #15
Since nobody has proven that little green men live on the moon under the surface, I shall declare an alliance with the little green men on behalf of Earth, who so ignorantly pretend they don't exist.

Sounds a bit dumb doesn't it? You can't say things are true without proving them first, it's just making an assumption. Assumptions are ok so long as they make proper sense. Why would god push us all down? Is he ashamed of us and trying to crush us into a pulp? I mean... what? why? :eek:
Sneaky sneaks. I'm actually a werewolf. Woof.
2005-08-26, 3:42 PM #16
It's not that the theory needs to be proved but more that it's kinda dumb in the way that it goes against everything we understand about the world.


Scientist: How would I go about making a lightbulb?

Person: I don't know, ask God.

Scientist: Hmmm I found that running an electrical current causes this metal to glow.

Person: No. This electrical current you speak of is nonsense. Stop trying to make up these ridiculous things. God is making it glow.
visit my project

"I wonder to myself. Why? Simply why? Why why? Why do I ask why? Why do I need to find out why? Why do I have to ask why as a question? Why is why always used to find out why? Why is the answer to why always why? Why is there no final answer to why? Simply why not? Holy cow, this is pretty deep, meaningful **** I wrote. Glad I wrote it down. Oh man."
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ [slog], Echoman
2005-08-26, 4:01 PM #17
You need read no farther than Oral Roberts university. :rolleyes:

What do they think gravity means? It's just a word for "us sticking to a large body" We don't understand it at all.

As a point of intrest I live with in 5 mi. of ORU. The guy built 50 foot high steel praying hands. The buildings are so ugly.
2005-08-26, 5:49 PM #18
I WAS TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!
D E A T H

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