First of all, this is going to be a long post and I'm not looking for pity, I'm looking for help and you are the only people that i believe might be able to give it right now.

I'll start at the beginning I guess... I've never had many friends, In fact I can count the number of good friends I've ever had on one hand and still have fingers left over. I always thought I knew the reason for this, I didn't trust anyone. I've been kicked so many times while down that I believed I lost the ability to fully trust anyone, but recently I think it's more that I don't trust myself.

Right now I only have three friends. And the one I consider my best friend is the closest to me distance wise at almost 200 miles away. She's nine months older than me and a year ahead of me in school, she being a freshman in college and me a senior in high school. We dated for a few months last summer and decided to break up because of her going to college (you might remember the thread I made about it when it happened). We still talk all the time through MSN and occasionally on the phone (by occasionally, I mean she called me to wish me a happy birthday on my 18th). If I knew for sure what it was, I would say that I love her and from what I can tell, she feels the same for me. She's even asked me if I would want to get back together with her when I'm in college next year; we flirt constantly when we talk through MSN, and have already talked about possibly hitting an AFI concert when they're touring this spring. Now I say this to try to help explain my problem.

OK, yesterday was the first football game of the high school season and for some strange reason I felt I should go. I don't know why I went because I hate sports and really had no reason to be there, I just felt I should be there for some reason. Well, she happened to back in town and she was there, but when I saw her, we looked at each other and smiled, but I couldn't get myself to talk to her. I don't know why, and it's not the first time this has happened. Whenever I see anyone I know, I can't talk to them. I panic when I get around them. When I'm not with them in person, I can talk to them easily, but once I see them face to face, my mind goes blank and I can't think of a damn thing to say.

As if this isn't bad enough, whenever I'm in any social situation that has more than three people involved, I panic again. I end up either leaving or going and sitting alone in a corner or anywhere else that I can to avoid any contact with anyone. I want to be part of the group, I want to be social, I want to have more than three friends, but I can't, and I don't know why.

I don't know why I'm so nervous around everyone, and you don't know how many times I've tried to change. I've lost all my will to try anymore because it's just too hard to try. I've been told that I'm just shy, but shy would mean that you do eventually talk once you get comfortable around someone. I'm don't think I'm shy, I think I'm completly past that.

I need you guys to help me, I need you to give me some advice on how I might fix this, because I've run out of ideas on how to try.

My first idea would be to talk to this girl over MSN or phone and arrange a meeting, just to hang out or maybe go on a little date. The point of the meeting is that you actually MEAN to meet with her and speak to her in person. If your "extreme shyness" is still bugging you, you could try putting together a little list of things to talk about.

However, you must remember one thing: We at Massassi can only suggest. You must do this thing for yourself. Not only will that be the first step towards your social golden age, but it'll improve your self confidence and stuff.

And as a great Jedi master once said: Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.

So, just... walk up to her and do it, man.

Just a quick response, She's not the only one that I have this problem with, it's anyone and everyone. I'd rather not have this turn into another 'girls thread', I only brought up that point to show just how bad this problem is.

I thank you for your help though.

Yeah, but the girl is a good place to start. You can use this strategy with other people too, and when you feel ready, try throwing a party, or maybe attend one. Meet new people, see.

you have issues, like, serious social anxiety.

Apart from jerking off to relax or getting drunk before you see people, I'd say go see a specialist, a psychologist

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

Hrm, well, see, I understand your more than three people problem.

See, I just moved into this town about 2 months ago. I had previously moved to another town but atleast I had someone to be my social connector and guide. (TDKLaguna as hes known here.) (I had known him a few years previously before moving into the town.)

Here, I go to the youth group and all. And everyones grown up with everyone else. And everyone knows everything about the town except for me really. When people in groups are talking they usually talk about local stuff or sports related stuff, neither of which I know much about at at all. :\

I usually find myself just 'smiling and nodding' in a group, feeling as if I'm really contributing nothing whatsoever.

I keep wanting people to approach me on a one on one basis. As I do best with that or two - three people. Any more and it becomes a cross fire between eachother that I can't interact with.

Normally I'd just approach people on my own. But being new and noone really knowing me well. I'd feel that would come off unusual or weird.

In normal circumstances, this wouldn't be an issue if I had school. Thats part of the problem, people are so used to relying on school for social contacts. I don't /have/ school.

Usually I just kind of bumble about town with an iPod and a digital camera doing a bit of photography, and I spend the rest of my time usually at home. Sometimes I do hang out at the diner though, our ex-youth group leader owns the place and has hired a couple people nearby my age that I can actually talk to. Though they're like 18 - 19. I'm only almost 16. (Not that this matters, almost all of my best friends that I've known for plenty of years online are usually older than me.)

Sew, its not that I'm a loner, or want to be a loner for that matter. Its just I don't really know anyone. And I can't help but feeling I'm handling it wrong.


If it helps you feel better, at least you know theres someone out there with a similiar problem.

I've thought about it, but the whole issue with money and paying or it comes to hand. I don't have enough money to see one and would probably have to save a few months paychecks just to be able to see a decent one.

And you other two suggestions...
1. just no and
2. I will never be drunk ever...period...

I don't think he was necessarily suggesting that you get completedly trashed, just a little light drinking to open you up, but if you're against that, I completely understand you.

Yeah, a lot of people rely on "liquid courage" to get them through things like confrontations, and the like.

Yes, Ruthven is right, it is very possible that you have a Social Anxiety disorder. Go see a counselor at your high school. They'll know some way to help you. If money's an issue, they can find a way for you not to pay...

more like liquid anger, m i rite?
Just kidding...not really.

Umm....

The last two long term relationships I've had (one has just passed the year mark) were possible only because of alcohol. It opened up a channel to conversate in with the person, and once that initial anxiety was gone it was no longer an issue. I'm not saying this is the best, or even a good way to do it. I'm just saying it's worked for me on one occasion. JUST MAKE SURE YOU DONT DRINK TOO MUCH or you're ****ed.

note: Compos Mentis does not condone underage drinking. Drink responsibly; Don't drink and drive.