Alright Massassi, long story short, I met a girl and we've been dating for somewhere along the lines of a month. She used to have a link to her livejournal on the facebook, but got rid of it some time ago. Anyway, I had the link in my history, and I read it just now out of curiosity. I don't think she knows I know her livejournal site exists.

What's really put me in an awkward position is her blog entry from yesterday:


So now I know that she doesn't really want to be together anymore. I'm rather apathetic about it and don't care too much. However. it's obvious that she doesn't know that I know about her livejournal, and if I bring it up first, it'll be kind of awkward. What do I do? Should I wait it out and let her break it off? Massassi, advise me again.

P.S. I don't really consider reading her livejournal spying, as it's in the public domain, and she had a link to it on her facebook at one point in time. Though maybe it's a bit dishonorable that I haven't let her know that I know about it.

No point in dragging it out if neiter of you are in to each other.

Yep.

Be honest about reading it. Just tell her that you were going through your bookmarks and found the livejournal thing again. There's no sense dragging out the relationship if there isn't gonna be one.

Break up with her before she breaks up with you.

Well, if you "wait it out" it could take a while before she gets the nerves up to risk hurting you. From what I read, she cares about your feelings, but the spark died. I know (from experience) that she may go on being with you, and hurting herself in the process. From what you said, you don't really care if you're together or not, so it wouldn't hurt you to go ahead and break if off. BUT do NOT mention that you read her journal, that could make her feel a LOT worse and make her think that she pushed you away. (then she could go depressive if she gets too worried that she hurt you, yada yada.)

My advise, break it off in a nice way that doesn't let her know that your read her stuff and that keeps you two as friends.

For one, you're probably going to have to mention the livejournal b/c if you break it off she will probably want to know why. Unless you totally pull some manufactured excuse out of your a**, you're going to have to mention the journel anyway, so you may as well do it.


As for her intentions, do her actions around you seem to correlate with what she said in her journal? (If she is not happy to be around you or flirts with other people, then her interest is pretty low, so you may as well kill the relationship instead of letting it die a slow miserable death). What do her actions as of late tell you?


My practice is to completely ignore what a chick says (talk is cheap) and instead focus on what she does when it comes to determining interest.

Tell her you saw her ****ing blog. Make her feel as guilty as possible. She's a *****.



YES, *****!

Issues with women? What happened isn't uncommon at all.

Solvency is only a shotgun shell away.

Page, we haven't really been around each other much over the past week. We've gone to lunch twice. That is, I had lunch, and she decided not to eat because "she's on a diet," and then left for class before I was done eating anyway. When we were together though, she seemed kind of distant, and conversation seemed awfully forced. Much different than in the beginning, when we would stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning just chatting about any random thing.

Freelancer, as much as I do enjoy completely crushing others, and as much of a jerk as I am, one part of her blog post (not posted earlier) kind of gives me second thoughts about doing what you said.



As much fun as it is to completely destroy others' self esteem, I still do like this girl enough that I don't think it's such a wise idea. I think SG-fan's advice is the best so far.

I'm just not 100% sure that if the relationship is truly not working out, or if it's just a mood she's in because we've had such limited contact over the past week. I think it's the former, but I don't really want to make a mistake at this point.

Eh-chem. Read that as "Break her before she breaks up with you.."

I should go back to sleep.

But: Skipped most of the rest of this thread, but you should tell her what you saw, and then take it from there.

Slip her a link to this thread.

The spark has died, but you still have your dignity.

Girl dumps boy? BAD! Boy dumps girl? AS GOD INTENDED!!!!

Dont mention the journel so u dont look like a weasle.

Tell her, You dont feel anything anymore, and you're attracted to other girls, exacttly what she said in the journel, but convince her before hand that u havent.

Whatever you do, make sure YOU come out on top and do NOT risk loosing thy dignity.


My opinions may seem like i'm some angry bitter lonely single nerd, but i do have *some* luck with relationships.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

Honesty is the best policy. Tell her what you read on her livejournal, let her know that you don't think things are working out either, and kick her to the curb.

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Has a shrink = gg.

Drop it like it's hot.

Post an annonymous comment on her journal thing with a link to this page, and never talk to her again.

My advice:
Break up with her ASAP. That will allow both of you to move on that much quicker. Do not mention her livejournal if you can avoid it. However, don't lie about. If she asks pointe blank about her livejournal, then of course answer her. But unless she brings it up first, there is no reason for you to bring it up either since it just makes the situation that much more complicated. As for the excuse for breaking up, just say "I don't think we have that spark. We seem to get along, but there just isn't that chemistry." Do not use any cliche lines like "Let's just be friends." If you are meant to be friends after you break up, you will be.

Wtf are you people talking about? You make it sound as if mentioning the live journal is a bad thing.

Did she tell him not to read it? No. At one point, he had access to it, who was stopping him from bookmarking it? Nobody. The journal is there for other people to read it. It's not private, and you people should not be giving that impression.

Just go ahead and tell her. Personally, I'd be mad at her telling the entire world before she told me, and would break it off right then and there. Not aggressively, of course, but just say that you read the journal and that you're breaking up with her.

Wait until she puts up her next entry, and post a comment on it.

Evidently I have to expand on one part of my post. The reason it's better not to mention the livejournal entry unless she does first is because it's completely unnecessary. It would serve no real purpose in the breakup, other than if you want to try to manipulate it to make her feel guilty or make her think you were spying on her(and whither not it really was doesn't matter to her if she does think you were spying). The other outcome is she thinks nothing of it.....which is what you would have had if it wasn't brought up in the first place. You don't even need the livejournal entry to tell that she isn't into the relationship anymore. If the issue of the livejournal is brought up, let her bring it up.

[QUOTE=Kieran Horn] You don't even need the livejournal entry to tell that she isn't into the relationship anymore.[/QUOTE]

That might not be that case. She could be putting on a show, right? He said he feels awkward BECAUSE of that entry.

If both people knew that the relationship wasn't working, why would they keep it going?

Well, his g/f has already displayed one reason: the lack of motivation and willpower(aka being scared). Others include social status, false hopes for the future, financial status, disillusionment, sex, need for a security blanket, etc. There are many reasons, but that is all besides the point. Ric has witnessed behavior apart from the livejournal that points to her no longer being interested. That is what he should act on.

Well, the behavior could be spawned from any number of reasons, such as a family member dying, or some of the stuff that you mentioned. But the livejournal entry is the evidence that's proof of her disinterest in continuing the relationship, wherein she states that she does not want to be attached to him anymore.

[QUOTE=Connection Problem]Has a shrink = gg.

Drop it like it's hot.[/QUOTE]

Haha yeah, forgot about that. Definitely.

Get as drunk as humanly possible and then go over to her place and stand outside yelling "STELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

That'll make things easy.

Well, not usually. Different reasons have different behavior. For instance, in the case that a family member dying, it's far more likely there is going to be a lot of crying, a lot of talking to him about the person, and a lot of closeness. But that isn't what is going on now. She is acting disinterested, so it is safe to believe that she is disinterested. The livejournal is just icing on the cake.

A journal, I can see writing something like that in. But writing it in a blog makes you a *****, plain and simple.

"Gee, I think I'll let a bunch of complete strangers read this, but I won't just talk to the one person who needs to see it."

And besides, I think she'll be happy to know you've read her LJ. I bet she's been secretly hoping you would. I mean, considering the fact that you don't seem to care that much about the relationship either way, that'd make things easier for both of you.

But Freelancer, a lot of people (obviously this girl included) treat their blogs as journals.
And besides, a lot of times it's easier to tell a complete stranger then it is the people close to you, because you never have to worry about meeting them.
I think you judge her way too harshly.

Maybe these two are not that bad of a pair after all.

Yea surely she woulda known that you had a link to her blog? Maybe she was just trying to drop hints? Either way, be honest and just talk to her about it.