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ForumsDiscussion Forum → Dolphins with frigging lasers on their frigging heads!
Dolphins with frigging lasers on their frigging heads!
2005-09-26, 1:11 PM #1
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1577753,00.html

Armed and dangerous - Flipper the firing dolphin let loose by Katrina

by Mark Townsend Houston
Sunday September 25, 2005
The Observer


It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the US defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly.

Leo Sheridan, 72, a respected accident investigator who has worked for government and industry, said he had received intelligence from sources close to the US government's marine fisheries service confirming dolphins had escaped.

'My concern is that they have learnt to shoot at divers in wetsuits who have simulated terrorists in exercises. If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,' he said. 'The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?'

Usually dolphins were controlled via signals transmitted through a neck harness. 'The question is, were these dolphins made secure before Katrina struck?' said Sheridan.

The mystery surfaced when a separate group of dolphins was washed from a commercial oceanarium on the Mississippi coast during Katrina. Eight were found with the navy's help, but the dolphins were not returned until US navy scientists had examined them.

Sheridan is convinced the scientists were keen to ensure the dolphins were not the navy's, understood to be kept in training ponds in a sound in Louisiana, close to Lake Pontchartrain, whose waters devastated New Orleans.

The navy launched the classified Cetacean Intelligence Mission in San Diego in 1989, where dolphins, fitted with harnesses and small electrodes planted under their skin, were taught to patrol and protect Trident submarines in harbour and stationary warships at sea.

Criticism from animal rights groups ensured the use of dolphins became more secretive. But the project gained impetus after the Yemen terror attack on the USS Cole in 2000. Dolphins have also been used to detect mines near an Iraqi port.
I can't think of anything to put here right now.
2005-09-26, 1:14 PM #2
Yeah, I can't believe Farkers had a hard time grasping the fact that the Navy has trained various sea mammals and sharks for military purposes.
omnia mea mecum porto
2005-09-26, 1:16 PM #3
BTW my friend managed to catch a picture of one with his camera phone.
Attachment: 7430/killerdolphin6me.jpg (42,063 bytes)
I can't think of anything to put here right now.
2005-09-26, 1:19 PM #4
I know this is a serious problem but.... i just couldn't stop from laughing reading that article. I don't know why, i jsut found it really funny.
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2005-09-26, 2:55 PM #5
Just read this in the paper. Awesome.
nope.
2005-09-26, 3:15 PM #6
hrrmm, missing dolphins... HHGTTG.... missing dolphins...HHGTTG....
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2005-09-26, 3:34 PM #7
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Stuff
2005-09-26, 3:39 PM #8
hmm. you'd think they wouldn't be just swimming around fully harnessed though... eh... who knows.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2005-09-26, 3:54 PM #9
Well, if any ships go missing we'll know who to blame.
2005-09-26, 3:59 PM #10
Weapons of Mass Destruction = Dolphins with lasers on their heads?
2005-09-26, 3:59 PM #11
Originally posted by Sarn_Cadrill:
hmm. you'd think they wouldn't be just swimming around fully harnessed though... eh... who knows.


Yeah, why would they leave them geared up?
$do || ! $do ; try
try: command not found
Ye Olde Galactic Empire Mission Editor (X-wing, TIE, XvT/BoP, XWA)
2005-09-26, 6:06 PM #12
Originally posted by Darkjedibob:
Yeah, why would they leave them geared up?

They anticipated Katrina (the dolphins) and so, using their uber-mind control powers of DooM, convinced their keepers to leave the harnesses on. They're planning to take over the world, starting with the Gulf of Mexico, and then Mexico.

SORRY SF_GOLD!
I had a blog. It sucked.
2005-09-26, 11:02 PM #13
You guys laugh now, but just wait until 90% of the current land mass is covered in water, and we are at the mercy of the assassin dolphins. :o
"Guns don't kill people, I kill people."
2005-09-26, 11:05 PM #14
this IS a joke right?!
America, home of the free gift with purchase.
2005-09-27, 12:04 AM #15
Originally posted by Anovis:
Weapons of Fish Destruction = Dolphins with lasers on their heads?


Fixed.
Frozen in the past by ICARUS
2005-09-27, 12:05 AM #16
Originally posted by drizzt2k2:
this IS a joke right?!

I now hate you like I hate 90% of Farkers.
omnia mea mecum porto
2005-09-27, 5:26 AM #17
Originally posted by KOP_Snake:
... assassin dolphins...


Massassian dolphins?
Stuff
2005-09-27, 5:27 AM #18
Thanks for all the fish!
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2005-09-27, 5:46 AM #19
HEY, FASTGAMERR, GOOD JOB KEEPING UP WITH THE REST OF US.
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2005-09-27, 8:23 AM #20
The Dolphins are attacking! There's nowhere they can't get to! It's like the daleks!
nope.
2005-09-28, 7:15 AM #21
SURE by hurricane katrina SUUUUUUREEEE. I think its a conspiracy by animal rights activists to release our special killer dolphins
This is retarded, and I mean drooling at the mouth

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