I heard it, and had to edit it to not brake any rules, but here it is in short.

A man wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter, so he went to a special school to learn how to. On his first flight he went up 800 feet in the air, and then came crashing down.
When the instructors asked him what had happened, he replied:
"It was getting chilly up there so I turned off the fan."

...

Next time...resist.

Haha.

Honestly, I thought it was funny.

WTF? I saw it on tv and all the audience was laughing................... hmmm I must have written something wrong.

We get the joke. They were being polite.

Well, sorry, I just came off of listening to Monty Python - Spam. It's hard to beat.

Just because 100 people found it funny, doesn't mean that everyone in the world does.

I don't know, star fox techno is prettttty good. Joke was alright.

Listen to Radio, Listen to Massassi.

Reading words is never as funny as live actors... even on tv

Uh...audiences laugh at EVERYTHING if you haven't noticed.

But..yeah..whatever...

Yeah, its because they have little prompt lights in front of the audience that says "Laugh", "Applaud", etc etc etc.

got a chuckle out of me

[QUOTE=The Mega-ZZTer]We get the joke. They were being polite.

Well, sorry, I just came off of listening to Monty Python - Spam. It's hard to beat.[/QUOTE]
spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spammity spam, spammity spam, spammity spam, spammity spam

fixed

Depends on what tppe of show it is. Some have laugh tracks, some have audiences with lighted signs and trained like pavlov's dogs

I'm assuming he SAW the audience, so a laugh track wouldn't work.

I know. I just can't stand laugh tracks in sitcoms and other shows. A show should not have to prompt people to laugh. The truly funny shows are the ones where people have to figure out when to laugh on their own. (i.e. Family Guy)

Seriously, America, it's not all that hard.

Why did you only point out America?

Most British shows that I've seen have laugh tracks :p

Q: What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

A: Nothing! You can't cross a vector with a scalar!

>.< *stab*

Q. there's two cats on a tin roof. which one slides off first?

A. The one with the lesser Mew!

[QUOTE=The Mega-ZZTer]We get the joke. They were being polite.

Well, sorry, I just came off of listening to Monty Python - Spam. It's hard to beat.[/QUOTE]

Oh god I loved that skit.

Woah woah woah woah.... woah. How is a mosquito a vector?

Well I thought it was funny. Sounds like an irish joke to me. Was it edited for racial sensitivity?

Pathogen-bearing organisms are vectors of course. Often referred to as "disease vectors".

Ah ok, thanks for the heads up bro

One day, during morning time in the country, a boy named Billy is told by his mother to go do his morning chores.

"Go feed the chickens, the pigs, and the cows Billy or you won't get any breakfast." She tells him.

The boy hates to do his chores but goes out to go do them anyway because of breakfast.

He goes up to the chickens and feed them their corn. He then kicks one of the chickens.

"Stupid Chicken!" He groans and then moves on.

He goes up to the pigs and feed them their usually scraps of feed. He then kicks one of the pigs.

"Stupid Pigs!" He groans and then moves on.

He goes up to the cows and feed them their hay. He then kicks one of the cows.

"Stupid Cows!" He groans and then goes back to the house.

When he gets to the dining table, he notices that his mother gave him dry cereal.

"Whats this?" he asks.

"You kicked one of the cows, so you don't get any milk," She tells him. "You also kicked one of the chickens so you don't get any eggs and you kicked one of the pigs so you don't get any bacon either."

The boy groans and proceeds to eat his dry cereal. His father then comes down the stairs and into the kitchen and runs into the cat. The father then kicks the cat.

"Stupid Cat!" He shouts.

Billy then turns to his mom and says "Do you want to tell him or should I?"

But what does the cat provide? Leather and fur and tasty chinese food?

The joke finishes with the kid turning to his mom and saying "Do you want to tell him or should I?"

Basically, the guy is not going to get any p***y.

Yeah it's terrible I know.

Clearly you don't get it. Here is a hint:

What is another name for a cat that sounds dirty?

Steven Spielberg wanted to make a movie showing the history of famous composers using modern "action" actors.

He chose Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger for the movie.

Steven gave them the choice of who they wanted to play...

Bruce Willis: "I want to play Chopin"
Stallone: "I've always wanted to be Beethoven"
Schwarzenegger: "I'll be BACH..."

HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhhH
HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhhH
HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhhH
HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhhH

Ehehehehe.... he's not getting any... cat...

And yes, I believe it's time to break out the nerdy math/science jokes.

So these two functions are walking down the street, and they see a differential operator approaching. The one function says "Oh no, I'd better run, if that differential operator gets me he'll reduce me to nothing!" The second function says "Ha, he doesn't bother me, I'm e^x." So e^x keeps walking; goes up to the differential operator and says "Hi, I'm e^x." The differential operator smiles and says "Hi, I'm d/dy."

So there's these two hydrogen atoms walking down the street; one says "OMG I think I lost my electron!" The other says "Are you sure?" and the first one says "Yes! I'm positive!"

So this neutron walks into a bar; orders a beer. He asks "how much will this be?" The bartender says "For you, no charge."

Or maybe the nerdy rhymes:

Little Billy was a chemist,
Little Billy is no more,
for what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4

Or the nerdy pickup lines:

"Hey, can I be your derivative; 'cause I wanna be tangent to all your curves."

Oh doh, forgot that part of the joke.

Those are the bomb diggity. I'm sure everyone knows how to prove girls are evil mathematically here. If anyone hasn't seen that i'm willing to post.

Jesus christ I can't believe a person can be so naive about the world.

There isn't always a light telling them to laugh or a laugh track.

My dick is so big, it's bigger than Steven Spielberg.

Heh.

ahahah helicopters r teh funnay!!1111!1oneoen!1!



... :em321:

AAAH HELICOPTER