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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Right.....time for another "Worst pickup -line ever!!"
12
Right.....time for another "Worst pickup -line ever!!"
2004-05-26, 9:06 AM #1
Just came up with these two and they made me so sad I thought I'd share....

"They say chivalry is dead but wait until you see MY lance"

"You know what babe, you just scored 5 successes on your appearance roll....and I'm about to botch my self-control"



------------------
People who get murdered are victims, people who get killed in war are casualties and people who don't get killed at all are just plain boring. -Said by me-

In my dream world people wear trenchcoats and piss on sanity's grave.
Yeah, you stay here and take life seriously. I'll go and have some fun.
2004-05-26, 9:14 AM #2
top 16 Mensa pick up lines. I don't get a few of them, but most are hilarious:

Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">16> "This is your brain. This is your brain on my naked thigh. Any questions?"

15> "Could you help me get this tie tack out of my hand?"

14> "Towards what end does a substantially empathetic demoiselle such as yourself inhabit a locus such as this?"

13> "What say we skip this nerd-fest and hit an all-night symposium on Euclidean Geometry?"

12> "Perchance, would you be inclined to participate, at my domicile, sans apparel, in a modicum of copulation?"

11> "It doesn't take a genius to see how gorgeous you are, but if it did, I'd be overqualified."

10> "You'll have to excuse me -- Your presence excites me beyond all capacity for cognitive discourse."

9> "Vini, Vici, Va-va-va-voom!"

8> "You must be tired, because you've been running quadratic equations through my mind all night."

7> "That tape on your glasses really sets off your eyes."

6> "According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Mechanics, we may already be making love right now."

5> "If I were to mention to you that you have a bellus corpus, would you hold it against me?"

4> "I bet your brain stem reaches almost down to your gluteus maximus."

3> "Ooohh, your IQ is 145? I like 'em dumb and strong!"

2> "By visually measuring the wrinkles in the front of your pants, calculating your body mass based on your height and weight, and dividing that number by your waist size -- I conclude that you have absolutely nothing in your pocket and are, in fact, glad to see me."

1> "Baby, I'll have you barking like a *canis familiaris*."</font>


------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2004-05-26, 9:18 AM #3
it's VENI, VIDI, VA-VA-VA-VOOM!
*ubersigh*

------------------
People who get murdered are victims, people who get killed in war are casualties and people who don't get killed at all are just plain boring. -Said by me-

In my dream world people wear trenchcoats and piss on sanity's grave.
Yeah, you stay here and take life seriously. I'll go and have some fun.
2004-05-26, 9:20 AM #4
Hey, i just quoted the site. i didn't make them up.

------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2004-05-26, 9:22 AM #5
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Noble Outlaw:
Hey, i just quoted the site. i didn't make them up.

</font>


now THAT really is a bad pickup line
(and I'm on FIRE!! [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif])

------------------
People who get murdered are victims, people who get killed in war are casualties and people who don't get killed at all are just plain boring. -Said by me-

In my dream world people wear trenchcoats and piss on sanity's grave.
Yeah, you stay here and take life seriously. I'll go and have some fun.
2004-05-26, 9:22 AM #6
....

------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2004-05-26, 9:26 AM #7
So, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?

Lets play Titanic, I say iceberg and you go down.

Lets play fetch, you bend over and I'll toss you the bone.

Sooo, are we gonna have sex?


------------------
OSC Empire | A.H.N.U.L.D.
[Jim7 PING reply]: 666secs
Think while it's still legal.
2004-05-26, 9:26 AM #8
Right.

------------------
<landfish> FastGamerr > Satan
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2004-05-26, 9:30 AM #9
"Are you going to be walking to your car by yourself later? I'll be over in the corner watching you all night." - Dane Cook

------------------
The sooner you realize I'm right the better off you will be.
Democracy: rule by the stupid
2004-05-26, 9:35 AM #10
"I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that. I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex?" -John Nash

------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2004-05-26, 9:35 AM #11
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating
and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."

*throws up*



------------------
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
2004-05-26, 9:43 AM #12
"I like your ASSamite"
"I'd break the masquerade for you any night babe"
"Your eternal damnation, or mine?"
"Are those your feral claws in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"


------------------
People who get murdered are victims, people who get killed in war are casualties and people who don't get killed at all are just plain boring. -Said by me-

In my dream world people wear trenchcoats and piss on sanity's grave.
Yeah, you stay here and take life seriously. I'll go and have some fun.
2004-05-26, 10:14 AM #13
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS:
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating
and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."

*throws up*

</font>



lol [http://forums.massassi.net/html/tongue.gif]

Did it hurt?
What?
When you fell from the sky...

[http://forums.massassi.net/html/rolleyes.gif]


------------------
/fluffle
/fluffle
2004-05-26, 10:35 AM #14
I'd like to eat your liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti.

------------------
Because you're as bored as I am
"This world is made of love and peace!"
"Let's live today, let's live tomorrow, and let's live the day after that, even if it means living in eternal pain."
- Vash the Stampede
"I got kicked off the high school debate team for saying 'Yeah? Well, **** you!'
... I thought I had won."
2004-05-26, 10:50 AM #15
Try using food names. Worst pickup lines ever.
Example(s):

You bake my potatoes, baby.

You scramble my eggs, baby.

Personal Favorite: You French my fries, baby.



------------------
IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of the hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought out "Easy Sky Diving" book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."
IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of the hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our "Easy Sky Diving" book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."
2004-05-26, 11:11 AM #16
For the article which inspired this..
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004241459,00.html

The pictorial documentation soo makes it.

------------------
[Blue Mink Bifocals !] [fsck -Rf /world/usr/] [<!-- kalimonster -->] [Capite Terram]
"If all those usefull inventions that are lyable to abuse, should therefore be concealed, there is not any Art or Science, which might be lawfully profest."
-John Wilkins, Mercury, or the Secret and Swift messenger, shewing how a man may with privacy and speed Communicate his thoughts to a Friend at any distance (London, 1641)
NPC.Interact::PressButton($'Submit');
Also, I can kill you with my brain.
2004-05-26, 11:22 AM #17
And as I said in the chat. If I only had a digicam I could do SO much better with me friends :P

------------------
People who get murdered are victims, people who get killed in war are casualties and people who don't get killed at all are just plain boring. -Said by me-

In my dream world people wear trenchcoats and piss on sanity's grave.
Yeah, you stay here and take life seriously. I'll go and have some fun.
2004-05-26, 11:45 AM #18
The callipygian quality of your person, as well as your general aesthetic pulchritude, beguiles my carnal disposition.

------------------
MadQuack has a signature.
I'm just a little boy.
2004-05-26, 12:11 PM #19
My friend John handed a nice looking lady a bolt (yeah, so I'm pedantic), and said "Fancy a good screw?". She politely turned him down (shame - my fiver said he'd get a slap from a decent looking bird), but he's been regarded as a (sort of) hero since.

/Never used a chat-up line

------------------
If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards.
2004-05-26, 12:32 PM #20
World's Worst....Pick-up line!

"I've got something to put in you!"

"That pretty girl over there turned me down - but you look easy"

"Damn you'd be gorgeous if you'd fit through the door to the club"

"Your mum was ok, but to be honest, I'd rather spend time with you"

"Do you like Star Wars?" (*Ouch for me too!*)

"You must be tired baby - you've been running through my dreams all night!" (Obligatory)

[http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif]

------------------
If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards.
2004-05-26, 12:53 PM #21
The top 16 Mensa pick up lines sucked big time. None of them were even clever or funny.

"Nice shoes. Wanna ****?"

------------------
I can't think of anything to put here right now.
I can't think of anything to put here right now.
2004-05-26, 1:15 PM #22
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kieran Horn:
"Are you going to be walking to your car by yourself later? I'll be over in the corner watching you all night." - Dane Cook

</font>



Do I sense a fellow Dane Cook fan?

------------------
Run Away!!
The tired anthem of a loser and a hypocrite.
2004-05-26, 1:21 PM #23
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by BurrBoy:

Do I sense a fellow Dane Cook fan?

</font>


This one time I went to a bank with a pair of gloves. I tapped the shoulder of the guy in front of me, and when he turned around I started putting the gloves on and I said "Now would be a good time to leave".

------------------
The sooner you realize I'm right the better off you will be.
Democracy: rule by the stupid
2004-05-26, 1:25 PM #24
roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, wanna ****?

------------------
-=I'm the wang of this here site, and it's HUGE! So just imagine how big I am.=-
1337Yectiwan
OSC Returns!!
10 of 14 -- 27 Lives On
-=I'm the wang of this here site, and it's HUGE! So just imagine how big I am.=-
1337Yectiwan
The OSC Empire
10 of 14 -- 27 Lives On
2004-05-26, 1:32 PM #25
"...But my friends all call me Pagewizard_YKS"

"I made a level dedicated to you on Jedi Knight..."

"I go by the good book of Kieran Horn, 'The List...'"

------------------
<]-[ellequin> Nothing is quite as satisfying as placing a .177 lead pellet in between the eyes of a cat.
<]-[ellequin> I think I will leave it's corpse there, to warn all the other cats to keep out of my hibiscus patch

Live on, Adam.

[This message has been edited by jEDIkIRBY (edited May 26, 2004).]
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2004-05-26, 2:37 PM #26
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">

6> "According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Mechanics, we may already be making love right now."</font>


GOLD.

------------------
[16:38] Correction: dick tracy was a real man
[16:38] happydud: Actually...
[16:38] happydud: He wasn't. :D
[16:38] happydud: hehe..
My Parkour blog
My Twitter. Follow me!
2004-05-26, 3:02 PM #27
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by jEDIkIRBY:
"...But my friends all call me Pagewizard_YKS"

"I made a level dedicated to you on Jedi Knight..."

"I go by the good book of Kieran Horn, 'The List...'"
</font>


<3



------------------
Try not, do; or do not.
Math is infinitely finite, while the universe is finitely infinite. PI = QED
2004-05-26, 3:22 PM #28
"You're like a JK level with high surface count because you have some great cleavege."

-- SavageX

------------------
"...and if you don't like that, then you need to be slugged in the face repeatedly, until my hands are soaked in blood. Have a nice day!"
http://www.savagex.net
The cake is a lie... THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!
2004-05-26, 3:23 PM #29
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by jEDIkIRBY:
..."I made a level dedicated to you on Jedi Knight..."...</font>


It never ends... [http://forums.massassi.net/html/rolleyes.gif] [http://forums.massassi.net/html/tongue.gif]

------------------
I used to believe that we must fight the future, lest change come without our consent. I was wrong. The truth is that we must embrace the future, for only with change can we remain the same.
:wq
And when the moment is right, I'm gonna fly a kite.
2004-05-26, 3:34 PM #30
C'mon, I mean, I don't have a problem with it, but this whole topic isn't against any forum rules? Like somebody had said, (I don't know where) there are some pretty young people here, guys.

------------------
'And every creature which is in heaven and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honor, and glory, and power, be unto Him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.'

Revalation 5:13
Old King James
'And every creature which is in heaven and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honor, and glory, and power, be unto Him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.'

Revalation 5:13
Old King James
2004-05-26, 3:35 PM #31
Not really.. Maybe 13..12 at the youngest. PG-13.

------------------
OSC Empire | A.H.N.U.L.D.
[Jim7 PING reply]: 666secs
Think while it's still legal.
2004-05-26, 3:37 PM #32
I jsut tried looking for the rules, and i couldn't find them [http://forums.massassi.net/html/confused.gif]. where are they? i jsut wanted to check if chuck was right.

------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2004-05-26, 4:01 PM #33
I'm just quoting a song, but:

"If you don't love me I'll kill myself."
"When it's time for this planet to die, you'll understand that you know absolutely nothing." — Bugenhagen
2004-05-26, 4:03 PM #34
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Noble Outlaw:
I jsut tried looking for the rules, and i couldn't find them [http://forums.massassi.net/html/confused.gif]. where are they? i jsut wanted to check if chuck was right.

</font>


they're kindof hidden in a sticky
http://www.massassi.net/forum_rules.shtml

------------------
Do you have stairs in your house?
Do you have stairs in your house?
2004-05-26, 4:05 PM #35
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Chuck:
C'mon, I mean, I don't have a problem with it, but this whole topic isn't against any forum rules? Like somebody had said, (I don't know where) there are some pretty young people here, guys.

</font>


We're mostly mature here.

------------------
Snail racing: (500 posts per line)

-------@%

The Massassi JO/JA Single Player contest info
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2004-05-26, 4:10 PM #36
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Correction:
they're kindof hidden in a sticky
http://www.massassi.net/forum_rules.shtml

</font>


well, lookign at that, i don't see any problem with the thread.

------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2004-05-26, 4:19 PM #37
'I've got B<Waffles>s Syndrome, the only way to keep it down is with your help'
for the guys in #massassi last night ;p

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Kroko> Massassi is like Nazi Germany online, only it's not in Germany.
|\|\|\|\|\|
<kak> WHY DO THESE RETARDS CONTINUALLY TRY LINUX?
<kak> IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU COOL.
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2004-05-26, 4:25 PM #38
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Echoman:
We're mostly mature here.

</font>


WANG.

------------------
Map-Review | My Portfolio | The Matrix: Unplugged
2004-05-26, 4:45 PM #39
sweeeeeet, Pagewizard, GBK, and myself have become a triumvirate. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif]

------------------
The sooner you realize I'm right the better off you will be.
Democracy: rule by the stupid
2004-05-26, 4:49 PM #40
/stab stab stab stab....stab.

GBK said he was going to make his own OS, it has been ages and it's only in it's planning stages, and yet SAJN_Master says GBK was ambitious? But SAJN_Master is an HONORABLE man...



------------------
OSC Empire | A.H.N.U.L.D.
[Jim7 PING reply]: 666secs
Think while it's still legal.
12

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