Fart!

Mine would probably have to be when I was at church with a friend (We were allowed to party at his house saterday nights as long as we went to church with the family the next morning)

Really Silent moment. I had been holding this thing in for almost two hours now.
I couldn't hold it any more. I didn't want to be rude and get up either. It felt like it was going to be quite. I let it out. BAD IDEA.
So my friends and I are sitting here now, trying horribly hard not to burst out laughing, as if the fart alone wasn't bad enough.

Tell your stories!

Now this is what I call an original topic...

I'm trying to think, here. I can't really think of any. I have never farted loudly at a church service, or farted loudly during school. If I did, I probably went "DAMN THAT ONE HURT!!"

I farted while having an orgasm once.

Well, one day I just started and couldn't stop. I had these huge ones every two seconds right in a row for fifteen minutes. It made my mom irritable.

At summer camp years and years ago, when the teacher had just gotten angry at us and told us to all be perfectly quiet for the next 10 minutes.

But someone else had done it like 30 seconds earlier so it wasn't THAT embarassing.

During an exam with a bunch of kids I didn't know.

On second thought, it was actually funnier than it was embaressing.

LOL


I seriously laughed my *** off at that one.

2nd grade, when some indian came to class to tell us he was some big chief, right after he anounced his title.

My girlfriend did too, thankfully.

....

I was at work, I wasn't really caught. There was this lady who was being a total **** to all my coworkers, managers, etc. So I kept walkign past her and just farting while they ate. Like every 5 minutes I was dropping them. Funny part was, I had a huge protein drink the night before so my gas was stinking bad. She never knew it was me.

Never farted and was embarresed but when I was in second grade i took a dump in my pants(in class).

I am embarassed by none of them. I am immensely proud of every one of my masterpieces.

I farted in the middle of geometry back when I was a junior in high school. It was silent so no one heard it back man... they sure did smell it! It was so bad that nearly half of the class got up and went to the door in order to get some fresh air. One guy cried "Oh man! What is that smell? IT STINKS!" and the teacher was going "Maybe on of the sewage caps are open outside and its leaking". To avoid anyone from pinning it on me (I personally couldn't smell it), I pretended I smelled it too by covering my nose with my shirt and going "Oh man, that does stink!".

It's funny that this came up (er, drifted up?).

Just two days ago, I was in my classroom, fixing to go to a meeting. I could feel the "rumbly in my tumbly", so I thought, I'd better let these go here in my room before I go to that meeting.
So right after I let a couple of stinkers go, not one, but two people immediately walked in my room to talk. One of them only stayed a second and quickly left, the other followed shortly after.

ROFL

I fart almost every day at school. It makes me really embarrassed...

Go to the bathroom more.

The few times I do actually fart and it makes noise are ALWAYS when everyone is silent and when I'm least expecting it.

And you're INSURED a job, aren't you? I want to give this to the next employer that's forced to hire you.



There's actually scientific reasoning for that. You releive some sort of tension in your butt or something when you orgasm, and because of that, guys fart a lot in sex. Some more than others, but you're not alone.

2 funny fartish stories today. My physics teacher, it's all quiet, suddenly his stomach goes "GRRRRLGGL" really loud and he's like "only 20 minutes to go buddy." it was hilarious. Then is psychology class, I let out a monumentus fart, and everyone clapped. I took a bow, as my psych teacher went 'oh god!'

JediKirby

A kid I know got in the car and thought he was going to let out a big fart. He pooped himself on accident and had to run back inside.

*Waits for Elana to post*

Erm, drunk in a bar, walking past some people who i thought were people I knew, farted too much, and exclaimed "S***! That one touched the cloth!!!"

all was silent.

They were'nt impressed.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

Never actually got embarrassed of farting, but I would if someone entered this house every now and then.

Another funny story was a time when I went into the bathroom at the Burbank airport. Just when I had enter the room, I was immediately "greeted" by a massive loud fart from a guy using one of the stalls. I KNEW it was him because his butt did a jolt when I heard the sound. It was funny as hell! I was really tempted to say "Hey, nice to meet you too!" to embarass the guy but I didn't want to start a scene.

bobbert's gonna die for reminding me of this....

ok, we were in the same 9th grade stragites for success class, think, "bull **** of the instructure, where we read out of 'stragities for successful teen' and learned a buncha insperational quotes". well Mr Evans really was cool. anyway, it was the only highschool class where we dident have seating arrangements. on this particular day, my usual seat had been already taken so i sat in a different seat whitch was located accross the room.

if i rember correctly, this day was an 'open mike' day, where any student who wanted to could get up and talk about anything thay liked (kina tyring to get us used to speaches). so the class progressed, and suddnly there was this noise behind me... "puutt*. everyone looks around at each other and giggles, but no one has any look of guilt except Johnathan (now known as Johnny O). and i shrugged it off. well, i kina ignored it, and spaced out. the next thing i know, everyone had moved to the oppostie sides of the room. sniggering un controlably. Mr Evans even was laughing. i was like "wtf" is goin on? and then i herd it some more; uncontroable farting noizes were comming from behind me.

and then i got angry. because i wasent the one farting. i tried to convay this to the other people in the class room, but none of them listened. Johnathan even tried to convence me that it was comming from my chair and must be me. He pulled out his calculater and punched up a grid on it whitch "represented the chairs in the room", then he some how made the letters C1 pop up in the seat where i was sitting in. He then proceded to proclaim to the class (it was open mike day after all) that his calculater had found out where all the farting was commign from. me.

i was not amused. and by that point extremly embarassed.

In my jacket... after the hole class period was over, when i got up to leave... a farting machine with a remote controll device was found hidded whitin it. then i almost beat Johnathan up. but i dident. and that is my most embarassing farting story. i hope your happy bobbert.

Jonathan needs to be pounded with an object of some sort.

Eh, last year, in my dorm room, there was this strong garlic odor that was in the room. It reminded me of the garlic cheese we had in the fridge, so I decided to get some. I made it public that I smelled the cheese, but it turns out it was the smell of my roommate's fart.

Yumm, garlic cheese bread IS good.

Quite!

*puutt*

Does farting and causing a house of cards your mate built to collapse count? It's not embarrasing, but was funny.

Low table, and I bent over to pick up a remote I dropped.

True story.

[I wish I could congure houses of cards with a fart too, but unfortunately I can't :(]

Holy crap! I wish I could cause a house of cards with only a fart!

That's like, macro-esque!!!