Ok, yes, it's a girl problem, but it's not the typical kind. This is actually more of a vent than it is a request for advice.
************* Backstory, skip to the next set of stars for main problem**************
I'm a fairly shy/introverted person, but not too much so. I just finished my first year of college, and in the last month or so, I was getting stressed out, getting sick of school, getting tired of being on campus (I lived on campus). My internet died, I was having trouble doing small tasks, I wasn't watching TV, and my day pretty much consisted of me on my own, doing my own thing, coming home on weekends to work for a bit, but spending time with High School friends, experiencing new things, etc... (I tried a little drinking one time, didn't get drunk or anything).
We've got a group of about 6 friends, we've all moved around, living within an hour of each other, but mostly all of us go to college. We all went to High School Together. Basically, one of these friends had a girlfriend, they're both into music, IE playing viola/violin/flute/conducting/whatever. She suddenly became known to our whole group of friends, and started hanging out with us all. She has a best friend, a girl, who became friends with 2 of us guys, then we all integrated slowly. 6 guys, 2 girls, we're a gang of about 8 people.
Now, while I was stressed out in the final months of school, I started to like "the other girl," but I wasn't sure of myself so I didn't act on it. She talks alot, she's a little goofy, and when I first really was in the same room with her I thought she talked so much that there would be no chance between us...she talked so much that I couldn't fit a word in. Next time I saw her, I got really nervous, and I didn't say much. I could tell that I liked her, but at the same time it felt like a stupid feeling that I didn't want to pay attention to, because she talked sooo much... I could tell she was starting to get all over me over time. I started talking to her over AIM. It was practically like we were going out, and everyone kept saying "Dude, you knwo she likes you? Can't you tell? ask her out!"
I knew, she knew but we didn't erally admit it yet. The thing I liked about her was that she was so goofy, laughing all the time, it was fun to hang around her when I was always so stressed out.
One day, after trying to sort this out I needed to talk to someone about getting so stressed out. I was like "I can't hold this in about how stressed I am, I need to talk or go on a vacation or something" With her, with people from my school starting to work at my job that I had worked at for years, and the fact that I was just getting tired of my job in general, as well as the upcoming finals...I was just getting slightly more stressed every week, I could tell.
I came to the dorm, I needed to talk to someone about how stressed out I was. I tried to tell my friend, but he didn't seem to care. I had goten used to this, as he had been a growing pain in the arse lately, cussing or yelling randomly, being rude randomly, yet in a semi-funny way.
He told me he didn't care. Then he told me he did osmething really stupid. I was like "oh great...don't listen to my problem and suddenly I'm Mr. therapist"
He told me he had smoked pot for the first time. I was like "well, yeah, that's pretty stupid." We talked about it, I tried to shrug it off, but I was just starting to get mad at him because he was acting so dumb. This is a friend of mine for a good 4-5 years.
That night, I was supposed to meet the goofy girl. I was trying to "rejuvinate" myself, if you will, trying to cleanse myself of the stupidity I'd done. My friends had started smoking pot, they'd gotten me to drink one night, I was seriously considering getting some new friends. As much as I liked hanging around them, I felt like I might get drawn down the wrong path by hanging with them much longer.
So I met her that night at a big hangout near my school, kind of an outdoor mall.
I knew that I liked her, but with everything feeling so strange in general, with my friends, with school, with work...I worked not 50 feet from where we decided to meet, so I was a little more tense with my boss around. I was more interested in rejuvinating myself, you could say, than getting involved in a relationship. However, the night didn't happen as I predicted it might. She started putting my arm around her, then we saw a movie, and she was starting to get all over me. She was just leaning on me, but I wasn't used to that, I thought things were happinging very fast. At the end of the movie, she asked me if I'd ask the question. I was like "the question?" then it hit me, but she asked before I could, "will you go out with me?" I said yes, because I knew I liked her. I figured with her incredibly outward personality and funnyness, and my quiet stressed outness, it would be a good mix.
Since then I've finished school, had to move back home, living with my parents again, a total lifestyle change, and taken a trip to Kansas practically driven insane with all my aunts telling me what to do there.
************
Well...that was the backstory, here's the problem now:
Her dad's catholic, mom's jewish. I'm lutheran. She doesn't go to church. I go to a private lutheran school.
I asked her if I could take her to a few church services, she said she really wanted to. We just went for the first time today at my church. She lives near the church, but still. This church I have gone to for almost a decade, I went to school there over a decade ago. Basically, this entire vent is about mixing a non-church attender with a church attender.
It's wierd. She laughed alot, I couldn't help but wonder if I was bothering anyone around, plus all my old friends here, maybe old teachers, might see me. I took a risk/strive to make jokes and go out with her. Now hanging out with her is jokes all the time...which is nice, but...I mean...wow. The dean of my college, a nice guy, but how much of a friend do you want to make with your dean?, he's there. This guy drove me insane the last year. If you're rushing to class, he'd try to stop you and ask "how's the family? How's this, how's that?" And I'd be like "they're good, adios kthxbye"
ANYWAY, she said it was uplifting. I tried to treat it as myself teaching her about church. For me, this church is old. I've been there forever. I know the pastor and his family, they know me. My old life, elementary school, IS this church. She made comments about the music (she's a music major). I hate the music. The thing is, with her going to church here, it's almost like how I view everything and everyone changes. She takes notice of something small and comments, and usually I would agree or make fun of the comment with her, but I can't do that in my own environment, like my church.
AHHH so I tried to explain little things, like "this is where he talks and we listen, it's the sermon." I felt too torn between two worlds, I guess. I don't know. Afterwards we went out and drove around. I kinda wanted to pretend the day had never happened, move on, and try to work out the relationship the next day, but she wanted to flirt around. Getting used to this kind of relationship is very tough, very strange. ESPECIALLY in church. I don't want to offend people whom I've always respected and try to set an image of myself for. I also would have felt different if my parents were there. Usually I go to church with my family, my parents. That's just how we do it, how we have done it. This was a special "go with my girlfriend" day. AHHHH...my long arse rant, while informative, sums up to me not knowing how to deal with a goofy girlfriend around my old friends/old life. With my normal college/HS friends, I don't care. We are always goofy, so it doesn't matter to me. But I didn't used to be quite so goofy.
Thanks for reading, comments, questions, advice?
Sorry, no, I can't give you your 10 minutes back.
------------------
This signiture agrees completely with the previously posted signuture. To attempt copyright infringement upon this signiture is a violation of any copyright laws stated for the previously stated signiture. By acknowledging this signiture, you acknowledge the previous signiture.
************* Backstory, skip to the next set of stars for main problem**************
I'm a fairly shy/introverted person, but not too much so. I just finished my first year of college, and in the last month or so, I was getting stressed out, getting sick of school, getting tired of being on campus (I lived on campus). My internet died, I was having trouble doing small tasks, I wasn't watching TV, and my day pretty much consisted of me on my own, doing my own thing, coming home on weekends to work for a bit, but spending time with High School friends, experiencing new things, etc... (I tried a little drinking one time, didn't get drunk or anything).
We've got a group of about 6 friends, we've all moved around, living within an hour of each other, but mostly all of us go to college. We all went to High School Together. Basically, one of these friends had a girlfriend, they're both into music, IE playing viola/violin/flute/conducting/whatever. She suddenly became known to our whole group of friends, and started hanging out with us all. She has a best friend, a girl, who became friends with 2 of us guys, then we all integrated slowly. 6 guys, 2 girls, we're a gang of about 8 people.
Now, while I was stressed out in the final months of school, I started to like "the other girl," but I wasn't sure of myself so I didn't act on it. She talks alot, she's a little goofy, and when I first really was in the same room with her I thought she talked so much that there would be no chance between us...she talked so much that I couldn't fit a word in. Next time I saw her, I got really nervous, and I didn't say much. I could tell that I liked her, but at the same time it felt like a stupid feeling that I didn't want to pay attention to, because she talked sooo much... I could tell she was starting to get all over me over time. I started talking to her over AIM. It was practically like we were going out, and everyone kept saying "Dude, you knwo she likes you? Can't you tell? ask her out!"
I knew, she knew but we didn't erally admit it yet. The thing I liked about her was that she was so goofy, laughing all the time, it was fun to hang around her when I was always so stressed out.
One day, after trying to sort this out I needed to talk to someone about getting so stressed out. I was like "I can't hold this in about how stressed I am, I need to talk or go on a vacation or something" With her, with people from my school starting to work at my job that I had worked at for years, and the fact that I was just getting tired of my job in general, as well as the upcoming finals...I was just getting slightly more stressed every week, I could tell.
I came to the dorm, I needed to talk to someone about how stressed out I was. I tried to tell my friend, but he didn't seem to care. I had goten used to this, as he had been a growing pain in the arse lately, cussing or yelling randomly, being rude randomly, yet in a semi-funny way.
He told me he didn't care. Then he told me he did osmething really stupid. I was like "oh great...don't listen to my problem and suddenly I'm Mr. therapist"
He told me he had smoked pot for the first time. I was like "well, yeah, that's pretty stupid." We talked about it, I tried to shrug it off, but I was just starting to get mad at him because he was acting so dumb. This is a friend of mine for a good 4-5 years.
That night, I was supposed to meet the goofy girl. I was trying to "rejuvinate" myself, if you will, trying to cleanse myself of the stupidity I'd done. My friends had started smoking pot, they'd gotten me to drink one night, I was seriously considering getting some new friends. As much as I liked hanging around them, I felt like I might get drawn down the wrong path by hanging with them much longer.
So I met her that night at a big hangout near my school, kind of an outdoor mall.
I knew that I liked her, but with everything feeling so strange in general, with my friends, with school, with work...I worked not 50 feet from where we decided to meet, so I was a little more tense with my boss around. I was more interested in rejuvinating myself, you could say, than getting involved in a relationship. However, the night didn't happen as I predicted it might. She started putting my arm around her, then we saw a movie, and she was starting to get all over me. She was just leaning on me, but I wasn't used to that, I thought things were happinging very fast. At the end of the movie, she asked me if I'd ask the question. I was like "the question?" then it hit me, but she asked before I could, "will you go out with me?" I said yes, because I knew I liked her. I figured with her incredibly outward personality and funnyness, and my quiet stressed outness, it would be a good mix.
Since then I've finished school, had to move back home, living with my parents again, a total lifestyle change, and taken a trip to Kansas practically driven insane with all my aunts telling me what to do there.
************
Well...that was the backstory, here's the problem now:
Her dad's catholic, mom's jewish. I'm lutheran. She doesn't go to church. I go to a private lutheran school.
I asked her if I could take her to a few church services, she said she really wanted to. We just went for the first time today at my church. She lives near the church, but still. This church I have gone to for almost a decade, I went to school there over a decade ago. Basically, this entire vent is about mixing a non-church attender with a church attender.
It's wierd. She laughed alot, I couldn't help but wonder if I was bothering anyone around, plus all my old friends here, maybe old teachers, might see me. I took a risk/strive to make jokes and go out with her. Now hanging out with her is jokes all the time...which is nice, but...I mean...wow. The dean of my college, a nice guy, but how much of a friend do you want to make with your dean?, he's there. This guy drove me insane the last year. If you're rushing to class, he'd try to stop you and ask "how's the family? How's this, how's that?" And I'd be like "they're good, adios kthxbye"
ANYWAY, she said it was uplifting. I tried to treat it as myself teaching her about church. For me, this church is old. I've been there forever. I know the pastor and his family, they know me. My old life, elementary school, IS this church. She made comments about the music (she's a music major). I hate the music. The thing is, with her going to church here, it's almost like how I view everything and everyone changes. She takes notice of something small and comments, and usually I would agree or make fun of the comment with her, but I can't do that in my own environment, like my church.
AHHH so I tried to explain little things, like "this is where he talks and we listen, it's the sermon." I felt too torn between two worlds, I guess. I don't know. Afterwards we went out and drove around. I kinda wanted to pretend the day had never happened, move on, and try to work out the relationship the next day, but she wanted to flirt around. Getting used to this kind of relationship is very tough, very strange. ESPECIALLY in church. I don't want to offend people whom I've always respected and try to set an image of myself for. I also would have felt different if my parents were there. Usually I go to church with my family, my parents. That's just how we do it, how we have done it. This was a special "go with my girlfriend" day. AHHHH...my long arse rant, while informative, sums up to me not knowing how to deal with a goofy girlfriend around my old friends/old life. With my normal college/HS friends, I don't care. We are always goofy, so it doesn't matter to me. But I didn't used to be quite so goofy.
Thanks for reading, comments, questions, advice?
Sorry, no, I can't give you your 10 minutes back.
------------------
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