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ForumsDiscussion Forum → Story of my life
Story of my life
2004-05-28, 5:42 PM #1
Well my life is terribly bad right now, as it has been for quite some time. I think that I'm either insane or seriously depressed, or both. Well, actually I know I'm depressed, but I'm not sure if it's medical. I'm thinking not. Anyway...
The girl I told about before has reveiled something to me. A friend of hers who is a year younger than us is the same way as I was, only towards me. She's got the same hopeless love towards me as the one I used to exhibit. I don't feel a thing for her. Ironic that I was in this same situation. Psh!

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"Father to your hands I commend my spirirt. Father to your hands-Why have you forsaken me?"
It took a while for you to find me; I was hiding in the lime tree.
2004-05-28, 5:45 PM #2
I'm doing this in multiple posts cause my computer will randomly freeze. I don't have time to type it all now, but my life is getting worse and worse and I'm starting to fear that I'll go back to the way I was before.

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"Father to your hands I commend my spirirt. Father to your hands-Why have you forsaken me?"
It took a while for you to find me; I was hiding in the lime tree.
2004-05-28, 5:46 PM #3
well, you could try giving her the same advice we gave you. she may end up hating you for it for awhile, but she may come to thank you when she finds someone she truly likes.

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"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2004-05-28, 5:58 PM #4
Errr... Welcome to middle school.

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
2004-05-28, 7:07 PM #5
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Spork:
Errr... Welcome to middle school.

</font>


So true [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]

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WAITER: Here’s your green salad, sir.
ANAKIN: What? You fool, I told you NO CROUTONS! Aaaaaaargh!
The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.
2004-05-28, 10:01 PM #6
Yeah. This sort of stuff happens. Part of life.

As for the depression, you might want to see someone about that.

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I'm not an actor. I just play one on TV.
Pissed Off?
2004-05-29, 4:27 AM #7
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Spork:
Errr... Welcome to middle school.

</font>


That made me laugh. Thanks. My grandmother died recently. My other grandmother is dying and can't remeber who I am. One of my only three friends is going to a different school than me. Another one of them is cutting herself and is in a similar mindset as myself. She says that she doesn't care anymore and that she does not want to get better. I guess my life really isn't that bad except that I'm who I am. I hate everything about myself. I don't have very much fun anymore. I don't like the things that I used to (zoloft lol). I've become bland and don't really care much about everything. Every day seems to be getting worse than the last, which makes every day the worst day of my life. i think I should see someone about this.

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"Father to your hands I commend my spirirt. Father to your hands-Why have you forsaken me?"
It took a while for you to find me; I was hiding in the lime tree.
2004-05-29, 6:27 AM #8
Wow, that sounds like some severe depression, although your situation sure doesn't seem like it helps any. I recommend getting some counciling, if only for a short time. This sort of thing is many times grown out of, but it can lead to some serious problems if you don't get some help at the moment. Oh, and if a psychologist tries to write you a prescription right when you walk in the door, walk back out. It shouldn't be necessary, and even if it is you should go through a few sessions before they should do anything like that, unless they diagnos you at a serious risk.

As for your grandmother, i feel your pain. My grandfather had Alzhiemers, and forgot most of his family except our grandmother rather quickly.I don't really get emotional, its just not who i am, but my sister broke down crying when he didn't know who she was [http://forums.massassi.net/html/frown.gif]

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"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2004-05-29, 10:50 AM #9
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by UltimatePotato:
I hate everything about myself.</font>
Then change. Don't let life and emotions push you around. Grab it and kick it in the *** . Simply put - just show it who's boss.
What I'm trying to say is this: If there are things in your life that you don't like, get away from them, if possible. You may not be able to control all that's happening around you, but you sure as hell can control the aspects of your life.
I can't seem to word this very well, but hopefully it made some sense.

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Genesis 22:2-5 - And God said unto Abraham "You must kill your son, Isaac." And Abraham said "What? I can't hear you! You'll have to speak into the microphone." And God said "Check, check, check, check. Jerry, can you pull the high end out. I'm getting some hiss up here."
"I'm not quiet: I just like to quote mute people."
^ My life story
Valuable Life Lesson: Frog + Potato Gun = Blindness
Catalog of Electronic Components - Complete IC data sheets
National Electrical Code® (NEC®) Online - Legal requirements for wiring projects.
Catloaf, meet mouseloaf.
My music
2004-05-29, 4:18 PM #10
I'm not sure I really get your point. Change the aspects of my life? How? Ok I'm ugly as sin, have no talents and only three people who even vaguely care about me. I'm: clumsy, stupid, hateful, unenthuseastic. I talk funny, and my skin is weak. I'm a jinx. Sunlight burns my eyes. How do I change that?

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"Father to your hands I commend my spirirt. Father to your hands-Why have you forsaken me?"
It took a while for you to find me; I was hiding in the lime tree.
2004-05-29, 4:51 PM #11
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by UltimatePotato:
I'm not sure I really get your point. Change the aspects of my life? How? Ok I'm ugly as sin, have no talents and only three people who even vaguely care about me. I'm: clumsy, stupid, hateful, unenthuseastic. I talk funny, and my skin is weak. I'm a jinx. Sunlight burns my eyes. How do I change that?

</font>


#1: you are not ugly. i can tel this without even seeing you, sicen \those that are won't care, those that believe it are normally jsut in a slump, i.e. you

#2: you ahve talents, give yourself some credit, man. Think, boy! think!

#3: You talk funny? i find that ahrd to believe. i mean, you could have an accent or something, but that doesn't mean you 'talk funny' jsut differently.

#4: your skin is weak? explain, please.

#5: don't get this, either. Bad luck, you mean? If so, stop being supersticious

#6: that's actually the same with me, which is why i have 5 pairs of sunglasses. they help, and make you look cool. its a win-win situation.

------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%
2004-05-30, 1:57 AM #12
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Noble Outlaw:
#6: that's actually the same with me, which is why i have 5 pairs of sunglasses. they help, and make you look cool. its a win-win situation.</font>
"Don't tell me you're going to wear sunglasses during a night operation."
"My vision is augmented."

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Violets are blue, roses are red, living like this we were already dead.
Hey, Blue? I'm loving the things you do. From the very first time, the fight you fight for will always be mine.
2004-05-30, 2:09 AM #13
Ok, dude. You're in serious poodoo here. You must change how you think. That's the key. Always look for the best in people, never the worst. Otherwise you're going to hate everything/everybody around you. No reason to think you're "insane" like you say you are, because an "insane" person would not post anything like this in a completely civilized forum such as Massassi.

Take it from me. I'm deaf, clumsy as well, weak (because I was in a hospital for 3 months), I have a speech impediment, and I have cancer. If anything, I should be the one who's depressed; I'm not.

Believe in God, and love yourself. That's all you need.

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I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

[url="mailto:Bruintone@netscape.net"]mailto:Bruintone@netscape.net[/url]Bruintone@netscape.net</A>
Yahoo! Name : jedibruintone77
I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

My Canada includes Beavers.
2004-05-30, 2:46 AM #14
I can only agree with everyone who replied (except about God, but that's another issue).

I've experienced a myriad of psychological issues in the past few years, a couple of weeks ago I was institutionalized for about a week. Recovery really is up to you, I finally realized this when a few days ago I managed to prevent a panic attack for the first time, by simply thinking right. If you keep feeding this negative self-awareness, things WILL get worse. But if you stop to change your outlook on life, yourself and other people, and realize how much better your life could be if it weren't for your own mind confining you, things are bound to get better. Challenging your own mind can be tough, especially if you've wallowed in self-pity for long, reinforcing these bad thoughts and your lack of confidence, but it's very possible and it WILL pay off. It just gets tougher the longer you wait and give in to the bad mindset.

I wish you all the best.
Looks like we're not going down after all, so nevermind.
2004-05-30, 3:22 AM #15
Yeah, it sounds like you're doing pretty badly, I lost my grandfather recently so I know what it's like and I'm sure most of us here have been through similar things though maybe not all at once.

Just remember that people still love you and that you are the Ultimate[/i] Potato.

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tristan is the best friend of the jedi

"I am the signature virus! Copy me into your signature so that I can take over the world! Moohahahee!"
tristan is the best friend of the jedi

"I am the signature virus! Copy me into your signature so that I can take over the world! Moohahahee!"
2004-05-30, 4:18 AM #16
If you are really such a bad person, why would a girl a year younger than you have a "hopeless love" for you?

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Superstition brings bad luck.
-Raymond Smullyan, 5000B.C.
:master::master::master:
2004-05-30, 6:39 AM #17
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by stat:
If you are really such a bad person, why would a girl a year younger than you have a "hopeless love" for you?

</font>


+ stat

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There is no signature
D E A T H
2004-05-30, 6:52 AM #18
Good question
2004-05-30, 7:53 AM #19
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by UltimatePotato:
Ok I'm ugly as sin...</font>
Really, or do you only think that? For 90% or more of my life, I thought I was ugly. Eventually, I realized it wasn't true. (That doesn't mean I'm totally hot, though, because I'm probably not. I've only had one or two girls call me hot to my face.)
Now, I don't know what you look like, but you might want to try changing your mindset, then take another look at yourself.
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">...have no talents...</font>
I believe talents are learned, so try learning something that intrigues you. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif]
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">...and only three people who even vaguely care about me. I'm: clumsy, stupid, hateful, unenthuseastic.</font>
Do you suppose that being hateful has something to do with few people caring about you? [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif]
You're clumsy? So what. I have trouble keeping my balance a lot. Imagine how that looks. Flattering, I'm sure.
Being unenthuseastic seems like a mindset thing again.
Now as to whether you're stupid, or it's just your mindset again, I don't know. In either case, there is plenty of public education available, and free grants for college education. Keep in mind that being a slow learner does not make you unintelligent.
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">I talk funny...</font>
So? Unless you meet a lot of shallow people, nobody would be bothered by it.
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">...and my skin is weak.</font>
Yeah? I got sunburned from being outside for only 1-2 hours. My skin is soft as a baby (mostly). But again, so what?

Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Sunlight burns my eyes.</font>
Being photophobic (despite it's name, it's not a fear) affects a lot of people. What's their solution? Sunglasses?

Well, I'll leave you with a final suggestion. Ever try religion? You haven't anything to loose.

------------------
Genesis 22:2-5 - And God said unto Abraham "You must kill your son, Isaac." And Abraham said "What? I can't hear you! You'll have to speak into the microphone." And God said "Check, check, check, check. Jerry, can you pull the high end out. I'm getting some hiss up here."
"I'm not quiet: I just like to quote mute people."
^ My life story
Valuable Life Lesson: Frog + Potato Gun = Blindness
Catalog of Electronic Components - Complete IC data sheets
National Electrical Code® (NEC®) Online - Legal requirements for wiring projects.
Catloaf, meet mouseloaf.
My music
2004-05-30, 8:08 AM #20
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by stat:
If you are really such a bad person, why would a girl a year younger than you have a "hopeless love" for you?

</font>


Cause she's young and doesn't know any better. Yes I have an accent which can be classified as half English half American, so it doesn't fit in anywhere. The proper term would be "fair" for the skin thing. I'm very pale, my skin can't tan only horribly burn, and it cuts and bruises easily. I'm not really supersticious, in the sense of the word. I'm ormnisticious (or something like that). Everything has an explanation, just some are very odd. I think through logic and faith, not through common sense like most people. I believe in ghosts and spirits. One word: Purgatory. I believe that saint George killed a dragon. Logically, dragons don't exist. Crocadiles and such survived past dinosaurs. Suppose something else (cliff racer like) survived too? That easily explains how almost all cultures have tales of dragons.
Anyway...
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Snake-Eyes:
No reason to think you're "insane" like you say you are, because an "insane" person would not post anything like this in a completely civilized forum such as Massassi.

Take it from me. I'm deaf, clumsy as well, weak (because I was in a hospital for 3 months), I have a speech impediment, and I have cancer. If anything, I should be the one who's depressed; I'm not.

Believe in God, and love yourself. That's all you need.

</font>

I'm sorry about your cancer. I really hope you get better. But your calling Massassi civilized? I believe and trust God. a verse from some song basically describes my faith: "blinded by distractions, lost in matterless affairs. Reaching through the darkness, trusting you will meet me there."

I'm trying to change my mind, but it's a battle. And it's hard to fight an enemy that has already fortified your own head against you.

------------------
"Father to your hands I commend my spirirt. Father to your hands-Why have you forsaken me?"
It took a while for you to find me; I was hiding in the lime tree.
2004-05-30, 8:27 AM #21
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by UltimatePotato:
Cause she's young and doesn't know any better.
</font>


No no. Every time i ever liked someone when i was young it wasn't because i was young and didn't know any better? As most people have said by now, its probably your mindset - your outlook on life. Anyways I don't have any real advice, but i hope you get over this stage of depression. Good luck [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif]

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/fluffle
/fluffle
2004-05-30, 5:10 PM #22
well, you ahve one talent at least, potato. you can be damn eloquent [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif]

------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²
"I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

-----@%

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