I'm sure it's been posted before, but we discussed religion in our after-school-debate-like socratic society, and #11 made me giggle.

Descuss Destroying and other events of God-Given violence.

Satanism is just as Valid as bible bashing.

Followers of teh great Books (jews, muslims, christies) believe in a moral life, being good to one anoother, good deeds in hope that God, whom they believe is all powerful + all knowing + all good AND PERECT, will give them eternity of bliss in heaven when they die.

Satanists [from what I have seen and heard], want to enjoy life more; they dont worry about being good to one another or upholding immense (unrealistic) morals, and they accept that God is all powerful + all knowing + all Good [but what is "good"?], but they believe God is IMPERFECT (and I'm entitled to agree).

So Satanists could follow the Good Books and try to be "good", but they know they still may not reach heaven.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

oh, but the "destroy him" i'm not sure about. Its metaphorical, surely?

Destroy, as in vengeance? I'm not gonne destroy someone for eating my ice lolly in my house, I'll just call him a *(%£.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

responding in part to Ruthven's post...

no, christians (or lutherans, at least; i don't know enough about other denominations to generalize fairly) don't believe that doing "good works" will get you to heaven, because we are sinful beings and no work we do could ever be good enough for God. rather, we believe that God loves us, and grants us eternal life if we love him in return and accept his gift (for God so loved the word that he gave is only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life)

the "unrealistic standards" aren't there because we're expected to be able to meet them; as sinful beings, we can never meet God's expectations, and the law is there to show us that we can never be good enough to "earn" eternal life on our own, but through God's mercy and love, we are granted eternal life through Christ's sacrifice

so no, a satanist could not do "good" enough to get into heaven; no amount of good works can do that. the only way is to love and accept Christ.*

*[Disclaimer: this post represents my beliefs, and what I have been taught that the lutheran church beleives as a whole. not everyone believes what I do, and I'm not intending to force this onto anyone. just offering my side of the discussion)

Wouldn't it be better if you just paid yourself to heaven? Damn, that system was ace.

Capitalist priests should make a comeback.

Was there somewhere in the bible about being able to sell your daughter to slavery or was that just nonsense rumors?

Yeah. Then there was that rape part, too.

But anyways, Satanists do not believe in God. Hell, they'd don't even believe in Satan per se. It's just an individualistic philosophy that mocks and makes fun of Christianity.

This thread was ment to be funny... If you guys don't laugh, I'll destroy you.

if you destroy me, I.... no i'm not going to quote star wars.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

you could have finished it and you'd have not quoted star wars.

it's, "Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

Speaking fo whcih.. I'm going to go watch Episode 5.

Wheres that "Nercromice" Pic when i want it?

haha lolzWTFOMFGBBQ!

and Koobie is right. But also, Satanism seems like an early naturalized epistemology.

The basic layout of Christianity is "Have faith in God, try to be a moral, upstanding, wholehearted person, and help someone out when you get the chance." everything else is a technicallity.