I just don't understand life at all. I know the purpose of life is to live (DUH) but shouldn't we have a partner (GIRLFRIEND, SPOUSE, WIFE, ETC)? There is a saying that theres some one for every one. Well not for me. Life just hates me I guess. I dunno... ok here some facts about me. Before I entered the Kung Fu I weighed 210+ pounds and was like 5 feet 8'' tall. Now I'm 6 feet 1'' tall and I weigh about 175 pounds or there about. So I'm in better figure now. Ok then, I then started working on getting rid of all the frigging pimples on me... and I buy some special cream and pills called Asepxia... guess what? It worked! Well I still got 1 1/2 months to go before the treatment is finished, but man, it got rid of most of them. Ok then, I learn to socialize with people and all... but people just hate me still... they know what I was... and I could only think what pressure they would go under if they were caught around me... I mean I used to be a very chubby kid... now I'm better than ever, but that won't change the past. I hate myself for what I did. I should have entered the Kung Fu years ago. I dunno what to do. I feel so damn lonely and tired. I've noticed that I've changed alot. I cuss alot more now adays... something that I rarely did, I'm also kinda desperate to finding some one like me who I'd like and vice versa... I just want to pack up and go back to the U.S., to my country... I was born there, even though I have dual nationality. I'm sick of this desert I live in. I want to go back to the forests, rivers, lakes, schools with easy rules... it seems that no matter how much I try to patch my self up, I'm still the same foolish idiot. Man how I detest this. Been living like this since I got here. I hate this place and these people, I've already tried making the best of it, but its not for me, I wasn't mean't for this. Help?

Dr. Buck diagnoses a prescription of Linkin Park to let your teenage angst flow!!!

Who? Who's that?

If people are going to be *******s to you, they aren't worth your time.

You've overcome a lot of issues w/ your self apparently, but you have to be confident with who you are now that you've become more of who you want to be.

I'm sorry for how you feel, dude. I'm even feeling that life hates me, but for quite different reasons. You just gotta get through it and ignore the ones who make it tough for you. And don't ever try suicide, no matter how bad it may seem, because things will get better. Plus it really screws up your family's and friends' lives.

To Saberopus:
No I'm not... I hate my self, my own image disgusts me... even though I've tried to get better, and I did some what, I still hate my self. I've screwed things up here, I want to just go home, but my parents don't. They just don't get it. I don't fit in here! I HATE IT! I WANT TO GO HOME!

To Zell:
Every time I hear that things will get better, they do, only a lil bit, and then they get alot worse. There are things that have happened to me that I haven't told any one... what if I were to tell you people that there have been some sexual abuse type things happening in the school... I'm ashamed of this... and I'm afraid even know of speaking about it, especially since it involves me.

I'd love to help, but whiners with no self-esteem just grind on me.

Well, Im glad you just want to go home, not hurt yourself. Is there a reason your parents don't want you to? Tell them how you feel, maybe they'll understand. THey are parents for a reason.

Welcome to puberty and being a teenager. But I will tell you that most of these feelings you're having will pass.

Sounds like a little bit more than puberty, folks... I never felt this bad when I went through it. :/

Things will get better. You've said yourself, you've changed a lot. You're more fit, you look better, it's just a matter of time.

Even if you can't change people's opinions of you, there are always new people out there, just waiting to be met.

Puberty was an awesome time of self growth and exploration, it was kind of fun waking up every day and thinking "hmmm I wonder what's hairy today!"

O_O

/Bad mental images

When you're 35 and single, then you can start worrying that there is no one out there for you.

Until then, chill out, you have plenty of time. Enjoy life!

Hell, I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was 19!

...

GET READY ZLOC.

Don't try to compare yourself to anyone else, dude. Instead, just be proud of who you are, and if there's someting you don't like, fix it. Don't take such an epic viewpoint on life, just live it day by day and greet the surprises it brings.

[edit]btw, get a girl (or boy, whichever way you swing) of your own and you'll feel like a million billion quadrillion dollars...or pesos.

I only wish it were so. I've only had 2 girl friends... now I can't even talk to a girl with out getting her mad for whatever reasons... I'm tired of this.

If they get mad at you for no reason then they're *****es, okay? It's not your problem. We're dealing with Mexican chicks here.

How old are you?
If my guess is correct, you're completely normal in feeling this way. It goes away though.

Wait, you mean to tell me you're not still going through it?

Damn.

Well maybe some minor changes, but it noticeable started when my voice dropped and ... well other things when I was 11.

Work on your own self image before trying to work on your public image - there isn't much I could do to make you understand your own individual worth, that's something you kind of have to believe for yourself, though I do have to say that it's awesome that you've gone through all of the changes and worked so hard on it. I just don't understand why you would look at yourself, even with all of the positive changes, and still tell yourself that you're not good enough instead of aknowledging your achievements. Bottom line is that YOU have to be the one to like yourself before anyone else does. If you determine your own self worth by what other people think of you, you'll be a pretty unstable person, because they are never the most reliable platform. I know that people usually refuse to notice change, or at least it takes a long time before they do, and that's rather frustrating, but c'est la vie, unfortunately. As for the significant other, well hell, I'm 18 and I still have yet to have a boyfriend (ish, I think...) and I know I rock :p. See usually I just hit my friends who don't know how awesome they are, because saying it rarely ends up working. as for the abuse - that's something that you honeslty need to tell someone.

I'd make that my sig, but I'm too lazy.

For starters, get support from a professional counselor, support group, group therapy, etc. I.e. NOT MASSASSI.

I hope you're happy. You just about made me spit pomegranate juice all over my keyboard.

It may be the alcohol but damnit am I laughing a lot right now.

*wipes eyes*

Relax dude, I've only had two girlfriends ever and I'm 17, it's not a big deal.

You know people joke about just going and listening to Linkin Park, but they're kind of right in a way. I find it really helps to have music when I go through a crash. I have two types of music; depressing/angry music, and cheer-up music. When I first start getting really down I can go listen to my angry music and revel in my bad mood. Then after a while I switch to my cheer-up music (usually ska, or happy/energetic punk, but there's other stuff), which helps a lot.

And on the same note, a hobby that relieves stress helps a lot. If you really like Kung Fu then practice a lot when things get rough (seems like it would be great, as you get to beat things up :p). I play my guitar really loud when life starts to suck.

Find something you're good at, whatever it is. Kung-Fu might be what you're looking for, but there's plenty of other things. Just keep going at it, keep trying to get better. Eventually, it'll help you boost your self confidence. Also, Smock mentioned music - music's not only a good medium to influence how you're feeling, but it also helps in conversations. Try to get to know all different kinds of music, the 'leading' bands/artists in the genres, etcetera. You can easily fill up 30 minutes of conversation with any girl by just talking about music, plus, it's a great way to break the ice, as well as to find out if you're compatible.

I wish I was young again and didn't have anything to worry about.

Hey, we young people worry about things. They're just not as important things! :p

I tend have less worries as an adult. Worrying about a deadline used to be terrible in high school (mostly because I procrastinated).

Take this time to better organize yourself. Set a schedule to handle all of your problems (rather they be personal or school related). Don't skimp on the time to move to something else and don't give yourself excusses for not sticking to the schedule. Also, you need to create a budget. I know you probably don't have much cash flow now, but it's good to go ahead and get in the habbit of deducting you expenses from your cash flow so that you can see what you'll have left over and then budget the remaining amount to go into saving and/or buy/treat yourself (to) something. This will prepare you for life after School and being on your own.

I strongly suggest you do these things and get your issues under control before even considering looking for someone. Though, a word of advice, you tend to get more attention from girls when you're not looking then when you are. BE AWARE OF THAT. Do not get in a relationship before you are truly ready or it's just going to be that much worse for you. I'M SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE, KID. SO LISTEN UP.

While dating and relationships can be fun in School, DO NOT GET TOO ATTACHED. Very few relationships make it passed the School phase of your life and don't work yourself into believing that you will be an exception. Treat your High School and even College level relationships as a learning experience for when you're ready for a real, long lasting relationship. YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES AND LOTS OF THEM! Don't let that discourage you. Learn from them.

No matter how well you organize yourself and your life. Bad things are still going to happen. 90% of the time they will be completely out of your control. The trick is to not panic and to tackle each issue one at a time until they are all resolved. Try not to let them interfer with your scheduling. If you have move stuff around, make a time-line for how long it will be changed and then recreate the old schedule and date it for when that time-line will be over. IT SHOULD ONLY BE TEMPORARY. Do not let any problem/issue make a permanant impact on your life. You can not handle the issue within your desired time-frame, get outside help (do NOT be afraid to do so). If you can't find anyone to help you right off the bat, don't get discouraged. Someone out there WILL help you. Exaust all of your resources at your disposal if you have to.

There! That should be a pretty good guide to help you get going in the right direction. I stongly suggest on working on creating a life-after-school plan. I suggest on concentrating on determining how you plan to reach a financial point to where you don't have to worry about money. Real estate investment is a good thing to look into and you really need to do 1-2yrs of research before you even attempt it so that you can plan out exactly how you want to go about doing it. I can provide with quite a few resources to get you going in the right direciton. Once you do find that "woman of your dreams" get her to sign a prenup (unless she has more money then you). You need to decide now rather you're comfortable with that. If not, then you need to plan now on how you will "hide" enough capital to "rebuild" your income after the fall out. Creating a "Dummy Corporation" is one possiblity. Also, opening an account in the "Camen Islands" isn't too bad of an idea either (just make sure she never finds out about it).

I know that seems like a lot, but take it lightly. Live one day at a time and attack each problem one at a time because, let's face it, that's all you can do at a time anyhow, so don't overwhelm yourself. Relax! Take a deep breath! Look at the world objectively, explore all of your option, and take the world on with a better understanding of it. You WILL make it through! With a little patience and a little well though-out careful planning, you can do anything that you want!

In all my years here thats one of the most if not THE most wisest and helpful post I've ever seen on these boards... Thank you.

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Oh look, another armpit hair.

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Wow, Capt, you just helped me too...

[QUOTE=Cool Matty]Hell, I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was 19![/QUOTE]

Heh, me too. Now I'm 20 and single again Honestly, I went through high school thinking I was going to be some loner all my life. Turns out all it takes is some self confidence.