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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Squirrel needs some good ol' Massassi help
Squirrel needs some good ol' Massassi help
2005-12-11, 2:42 PM #1
I am:
Hungry

I have:
Chicken Noodle soup

I do not have:
Can Opener


What to do? Stabbing it with dull knives does not work. Biting it does not work. Throwing it on the ground does not work, and would probably lead to a mess if I tried this method more.

Or should I just take the 5 minute walk to the store and buy the non cheap kind that has the easy open tops.
2005-12-11, 2:42 PM #2
Do you have a pocket knife with a can opener on it that you just forgot about? How about a hacksaw?
"Flowers and a landscape were the only attractions here. And so, as there was no good reason for coming, nobody came."
2005-12-11, 2:46 PM #3
o0 maybe.. Lemme look around..
2005-12-11, 2:48 PM #4
Dr Zoidberg?


I seriously have no ideas.
nope.
2005-12-11, 2:51 PM #5
I'll try doing a ritual zoidburg dance around the can and see if it magically opens, but alas, if that does not work hunger is boiling down. There's no tricks on google to do it. I might just go to the store...
2005-12-11, 2:53 PM #6
Every man should have a Leatherman tool. (I'm sure that would make the Leatherman Corp happy if nothing else...)
Frozen in the past by ICARUS
2005-12-11, 2:58 PM #7
You can use a sharp rock. :em321:
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
2005-12-11, 2:59 PM #8
You don't have a can opener? What the hell? Your situation is like a bad cartoon or something...
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2005-12-11, 3:01 PM #9
Some interesting history: canned food was invented before the can opener, and those preparing food were frequently faced with this sort of situation. Some cooks apparently resorted to SHOOTING THE TOP OFF WITH A PISTOL in order to get the contents out.
Stuff
2005-12-11, 3:03 PM #10
Kyle, the thought had crossed my mind. Then I realized the trouble I would get in for firing a firearm and feeding myself wouldn't compare.

And I had a can opener the other day, but when my roommate moved out she took it! :mad:
2005-12-11, 3:06 PM #11
Originally posted by kyle90:
Some interesting history: canned food was invented before the can opener, and those preparing food were frequently faced with this sort of situation. Some cooks apparently resorted to SHOOTING THE TOP OFF WITH A PISTOL in order to get the contents out.


Thats human ingenuity for you.
Got a permanent feather in my cap;
Got a stretch to my stride;
a stroll to my step;
2005-12-11, 3:26 PM #12
Everyone should have a p38 can opener and a leatherman tool.

Do you have any tools, like an awl? Punch four holes in a square at one edge of the can, and one at the other end. Take the middle piece that the four holes made out so that noodles will come out. Pour.

Don't use a hacksaw you will get metal bits in your food.
2005-12-11, 3:58 PM #13
If you don't have an awl, use the corner of a flathead screwdriver, and bash it into the top of the can with a hammer.

Repeat.
"Harriet, sweet Harriet - hard-hearted harbinger of haggis."
2005-12-11, 7:07 PM #14
get a hammer and a screwdriver
Peace is a lie
There is only passion
Through passion I gain strength
Through strength I gain power
Through power I gain victory
Through victory my chains are broken
The Force shall set me free
2005-12-11, 7:14 PM #15
This reminds me of an episode of Where in Time is Carmen Sandiago with the Confederate soldier the couldn't open a can... I suggest a blowtorch
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2005-12-11, 7:40 PM #16
Hacksaw?
Pissed Off?

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