Massassi Forums Logo

This is the static archive of the Massassi Forums. The forums are closed indefinitely. Thanks for all the memories!

You can also download Super Old Archived Message Boards from when Massassi first started.

"View" counts are as of the day the forums were archived, and will no longer increase.

ForumsDiscussion Forum → guts
12
guts
2006-01-11, 8:07 PM #1
im almost positive no one has posted this, although im not sure why. ive known about it for a while, and i searched the forums for any sign of it and i didnt find it.. so here it is..

Chuck Palahniuk, author of fight club, choke, lullaby and survivor has come out with a book alled Haunted. it's basically about a guy who holds a bunch of authors hostage in an old theater and forces them to write the most disgusting stories ever. here is a section of the book he has made availible to the public:

WARNING: Extremely distubing descriptions and 'adult' language

Guts

if you want to read it while he reads it, or just if you dont wanna listen to the mp3...

text version

P.S. as you can hear at the end the count for how many people fainted during the reading of it was 23 . just a little extra warning.
2006-01-11, 8:09 PM #2
o.O
woot!
2006-01-11, 8:15 PM #3
Originally posted by Cazor:
distubing


Yeah, distubing indeed.
2006-01-11, 8:15 PM #4
That was... interesting.

Too bad this thread is going to be deleted once an admin reads it.
Stuff
2006-01-11, 8:18 PM #5
That didn't even make me ill.

Maybe I skipped some parts on accident.

It was just odd.
2006-01-11, 8:19 PM #6
Oh God...I understand that you gave the intense gore warning and stuff, but I had to click...just got to this big "sea serpent" part and I am honestly closing this window.

Doesn't help I'm going to bed in about 20 minutes.
I had a blog. It sucked.
2006-01-11, 8:26 PM #7
i dont think the admins should have too big of a problem with it, kyle. its not like it's images or videos of these things, its just words.. and i didnt post any of them in the thread. this is just a place for discussion of it.
2006-01-11, 8:42 PM #8
Ah, guts. I love that story.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2006-01-11, 8:58 PM #9
I found it kinda funny...
<Rob> This is internet.
<Rob> Nothing costs money if I don't want it to.
2006-01-11, 9:04 PM #10
I found this my sophomore year...good lord I've been haunted ever since.

I can't look at candles the same ever again :(
D E A T H
2006-01-11, 9:18 PM #11
hehe that's screwed up
gbk is 50 probably

MB IS FAT
2006-01-11, 9:28 PM #12
I actually heard this a while ago, and macho-man BS aside, I almost went out. I started getting week in the knees and getting a little tunnel vision so I stop for a second then finished it. The whole "It's like biting through a condom filled with peanut butter jelly coated in KY Jelly" thing really sent me over.
The tired anthem of a loser and a hypocrite.
2006-01-11, 9:41 PM #13
i stopped during the intestines being ripped out his butt part...
some people are just STUPID BEYOND ALL REASON
this guy deserves a darwin award. seriously.
"*quickly adds in disclaimer that Is may still yet end up being slapped with a white glove, as all women are crazy and there are no rules*" --mavispoo
2006-01-11, 9:48 PM #14
What the hell.
"Well ain't that a merry jelly." - FastGamerr

"You can actually see the waves of me not caring in the air." - fishstickz
2006-01-11, 9:52 PM #15
Originally posted by BurrBoy:
The whole "It's like biting through a condom filled with peanut butter jelly coated in KY Jelly" ...


woah! i didnt read it, but that just caught my attention...wth.. :eek: haha, i'd prob. see that just to see how much I could take...people now a days.... we are so desensitized lol :p ;) :D :o
2006-01-11, 9:53 PM #16
I strongly dislike Chuck Palahniuk.
2006-01-11, 9:54 PM #17
Originally posted by Acharjay:
What the hell.


Yeah.
2006-01-11, 10:05 PM #18
I read a little bit of it. Don't know if I even want to take the time to read the rest.
<Lyme> I got Fight Club for 6.98 at walmart.
<Black_Bishop> I am Jack's low price guarantee
2006-01-11, 10:23 PM #19
That was pretty awful. Now I have that and this game Condemned my friend was playing to think about tonight. It was funny at first then the intestine part got a little wierd.
Steal my dreams and sell them back to me.....
2006-01-11, 10:33 PM #20
That kid with the candle is a friggin mormon.
2006-01-11, 10:35 PM #21
Originally posted by -Monoxide-:
Yeah.

Refresh my memory, weren't you the one that posted bestiality?
2006-01-11, 10:51 PM #22
I really didn't think it was that gross. It was actually pretty hilarious.

Maybe I'm just desensitized.

Elbow deeper in the border line...
2006-01-11, 11:22 PM #23
HAhah, I read this a couple years ago. For some reason, then, it was credited to steven spielberg (I think) :confused:
一个大西瓜
2006-01-12, 1:00 AM #24
I remember reading this in text on someone's website...grouped with some other stories, some supposedly about himself and he was a horrible womanizer in his youth (and stories associated with that of course)...May have been the author, or just a group of stories. I forget...quite a story though.
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2006-01-12, 2:34 AM #25
Hmmm...losing your large intestine wouldn't effect how you digested meat that much.
omnia mea mecum porto
2006-01-12, 3:16 AM #26
Ewww...
>>untie shoes
2006-01-12, 3:01 PM #27
Wow, some of that was really funny. Other parts were just strange.
"Flowers and a landscape were the only attractions here. And so, as there was no good reason for coming, nobody came."
2006-01-12, 3:09 PM #28
ive heard it before so this time didnt really get me, the first time i read it though was during the summer, 2 years ago, i was hesitate to jump into the deep end of the pool for a long time
I <3 Massassi
2006-01-12, 3:20 PM #29
It's not that disturbing.
Hey, Blue? I'm loving the things you do. From the very first time, the fight you fight for will always be mine.
2006-01-12, 3:22 PM #30
[QUOTE=- Tony -]It's not that disturbing.[/QUOTE]
WAX AND PEEHOLE DO NOT MIX.
D E A T H
2006-01-12, 3:22 PM #31
Yeah the thing is... it's more gross than anything. It's not disturbing to the point that I could see anyone fainting during that...
>>untie shoes
2006-01-12, 3:48 PM #32
Originally posted by Jdogg0403:
ive heard it before so this time didnt really get me, the first time i read it though was during the summer, 2 years ago, i was hesitate to jump into the deep end of the pool for a long time

Heh, those pumps do NOT do 400 PSI. That's a load of crap, and rightfully so, as it is just a STORY. I wouldn't be suprised if small children could get stuck to one of them, but no teenager. No way. We have these things called "safety guidelines" that make it illegal for something like that to happen.
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2006-01-12, 3:59 PM #33
This was nothing, I've watched a real video clip of a guy getting his head cut off with a knife.
2006-01-12, 4:49 PM #34
[QUOTE=Commander 598]I found it kinda funny...[/QUOTE]


ur scaren me if u think thats funny lol
Matt
2006-01-12, 5:07 PM #35
It was hilarious, and you guys are really overreacting, as most people who read this story do.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2006-01-12, 5:16 PM #36
I made the decision to avoid this story when a friend of mine read Haunted and said it fell under the category of "Masterbation Mishaps".
2006-01-12, 5:27 PM #37
lmao i spoke to soon, just now read that, me and my friends couldnt stop laughin for like 15 mins omg. would quote some of that but on the other thought, naa
Matt
2006-01-12, 5:28 PM #38
Originally posted by JediKirby:
It was hilarious, and you guys are really overreacting, as most people who read this story do.

Uh...not really. We're talking about a kid who gets his intestines sucked out through his ***, a kid shoving wax in his urethra, and there's one I can't (and don't really want to) remember. Yeah...not really overreacting.
D E A T H
2006-01-12, 5:37 PM #39
[QUOTE=Dj Yoshi]Uh...not really. We're talking about a kid who gets his intestines sucked out through his ***, a kid shoving wax in his urethra, and there's one I can't (and don't really want to) remember. Yeah...not really overreacting.[/QUOTE]

He also got his sister pregnant.

Another kid shoved a carrot up his ***.
2006-01-12, 5:37 PM #40
Originally posted by Emon:
Heh, those pumps do NOT do 400 PSI. That's a load of crap, and rightfully so, as it is just a STORY. I wouldn't be suprised if small children could get stuck to one of them, but no teenager. No way. We have these things called "safety guidelines" that make it illegal for something like that to happen.


Yeah, the pressure that the pump can create is like 12-15 PSI, usually. Barely one atmosphere. Plus your intestines aren't just sitting there; they're held in, otherwise you'd have a prolapse every time you stood up, much less went to the bathroom. So yeah, Emon's right. Your lower digestive tract is quite safe from any pool mishaps.
Stuff
12

↑ Up to the top!