Today at work a 4 year old girl asked me if I was Harry Potter...the mother looks at the girl and says "No, he isn't Harry Potter, lets go" and the girl just stops and looks at me, refusing to move and says "Nahah! He is too! Harry!" I then assured the girl that I was not Harry Potter...even though I totally am. Silly kids.

Another day at work, in the summer time, this lady with these HUUUUUUGE "Tracts o' land" came in and I mean like....acres and acres of land. Anyway, the lady goes up to my register to purchase her ONE item, and I accidently say "Would you like a bag for THOSE." The lady just sort of looked at me, and I had hoped she didn't notice, then she looked down at her...tracts of land and then back at me...and then she left. My god that was embarassing.

Hehehehehehe. That "huge tracts of lands" story is great. :p

one of the ladys I work with managed to chace down a shoplifter with her pickup truck, with some of our other co-workers riding in the back. The guys riding in the back jumped out and got the guy, put em in the back of the truck and drove back to the store.

and the 'cat fight' that just happened to errupt infront of the milk cooler.

eh, and then there's the accident in the deli story... might be too gory.

I work as a camp counsellor (well not anymore) and my friend and I started singing "I Feel Pretty" around the kids for the hell of it. So we get to the "I feel pretty and witty and gay!" part and all of the kids go off on "What's gay? Gay is two guys kissing!" "No, gay is two guys having sex" (etc etc...) One of the kids went home and menioned it and I got into trouble.

best thing that happened didn't happen to me. My friend and I were doing a bathroom run and so we're waiting outside the bathroom and this little boy comes out and tuggs on her shirt and says "Miss Marisa, Rocco peed on the wall." Rocco then comes out and looks up at her with these big eyes and says "I'm tho thorry, it wath an acthident I thwear. I jutht lotht control!" (thraslation if you need it: "I'm so sorry, it was an accident, I swear. I just lost control!")

[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort]this lady with these HUUUUUUGE "Tracts o' land"[/QUOTE]

Both stories of yours were interesting, but who calls boobs "tracts o' land"? Are you from the midwest?

Not a work story, but I did get asked by a 3yr old if I was Harry Potter. I don't even resemble him as far as I know. Maybe it's just having glasses?

MPATHG!!!!

I'm more HP then you, SAJN
>.>

You need to watch more funny movies. :p

I've been compared with Harry Potter before, but I've since lost the glasses and started wearing contacts (thank goodness) so that soon ended. It was cool to look like Harry Potter to some people, the only problem is that to most people I just looked like a nerd.

I've been working with kids for about 6 years now, so you can imagine the stories I have. Needless to say, the advice I give is be careful what you say around the kids. People don't understand how perceptive and attentive they can be. First story though that comes to mind is a normal day at work, when I'm called into the bathroom. Some kid had gone to the bathroom, and it was everywhere. In the sink, walls, everywhere. And I'm not talking about piss here people. It was horrible.

[EDIT: WTF? Wrong thread.]

I did massassi HQ roof nub

Ugh...so I used to work at a movie theater. One day these two stupid little brats locked all the stalls in the busiest female restroom on one of the busiest days. I noticed the line wasn't shrinking, so I went in and noticed no one was in any of the stalls. Then it dawned on me that I had seen two little girls giggling and leaving the restroom earlier. So basically it ended with me having to crawl under each stall and unlock them. ...that day was horrible, but I'm no longer there so

Um, I have a million stories there, but this one stuck out...looking back, it was pretty funny.

I think you all heard about the time when I single handedly took out a theif at work?

Well, another time I was filming a christian skate video for the same work when one of the kids darkslided a rail above me that I had thought was intended for PEOPLE to use, not skateboards. Needless to say, I flipped out after hearing the board above me and fell from my well-positioned station just under, but safely away from the side of the ramp. After collecting myself, and finding the camera, I was disapointed that I had ruined the shot I was getting, as we were shooting live footage.

BUT! EVERYONE is cheering. The way I dropped the camera showed the WHOLE thing in a really cool way [It's actually in our highlights reel, it was so good.] that showed me dodging a surprisingly close skatboard to the head without actually knowing I'd done it. All in all, it looks like a performed movie stunt, and goes down as one of my closest calls ever.

I ran down Sherbrooke street here in Montreal after a robber who had just held up my store. My boss caught up to us in his car and ran the robber over. UBERPWN.

Today a girl I work with started complaining when she sees this guy come in. This guy is always making passes at her and she was aparently very sick of it. I told her I'd take care of things. She goes up to the counter and I'm watching the camera in the office waiting for the guy to go to the counter. When he does, I go up front and grab her from behind whie she's punching in his stuff into the cash register and start kissing her neck. She stops working and lets herself get "distracted" all while this poor dude is watching. The look on the guys face was priceless. I totally destroyed his heart, and pissed him off.

Last week this lady comes in (regular alcoholic) and starts *****ing that we don't have any of her kind of beer in the fridge (Labatt Blue in 1.18L bottles). She comes and *****es every ****ing day. Always the same thing: "How come you guys don't have any Labatt's Blue Premium?" Seeing as we only get beer shipped every two weeks it takes a while to get more when we run out. After listening to her for every day for a week, I go grab a six-pack of smaller bottles, go to the cash, and of course: "How come you guys don't have any Labatt's Blue Premium?" I reply, "'Cause we don't sell Labatt's Blue Premium. There's no such thing as Labatt's Blue Premium. Look here, it's written 'Labatt Blue pilsner', not premium. If you weren't drunk all the time, you might have been able to read that. And the day Blue is considered a premium beer, I'll stop wasting my money on Sleeman."

Haven't seen her since.

Yuu need to be slapped with a herring for not knowing the movie reference!

Can we see the movie clip kirby? Like, is it hosted anywhere on the internet?

I'm often mistaken to be the messiah.

I don't believe my boss has a website anywhere, and this was before we were [or anyone else was] shooting digital, so it'd have to be converted to digital, unless it already has been. I'm only on call for that job, now, seeing as he doesn't do much on-site editing anymore.

Some lady demanded to see a manager after our computerized application process pooped out on her. She then proceeded to ***** out said manager, proclaiming that this is "ridiculous" and "I can't believe this! This is ****ing nuts! This shouldn't happen!" Unbeknownst to her, she was talking to our hiring manager.

I think she forgot to turn the '*****y customer switch' to the 'off' position.

Some people are just ****ing morons.

I ran the till at where I work for an hour dressed as a pirate.

It seemed like a plan.

aaaaaaahha.

must've been nice to tell that drunk lady off. being a manager in couche tard has its perks.

oh and is this the same girl that you bet with about quitting smoking?

50 Cent, you know the rap "singer", came into where I work yesterday. I honestly wouldnt of thought of him being anyone "special" until everyone who knows him is like "Holy crap its him!"

Apparently he comes in and sits in this one lady's section frequently. A hostess got his autograph. Me? I was wishing I could call my friend (who hates his music) and have him come up there and say "Your music sucks."

They did that en masse at the Reading Festival 2004 in the UK. He spent the entire time dodging all sorts of crap thrown at him thanks to a surprisingly large number of idiots. People in the crowd got hit just as often by mud filled bottles, I saw one girl get knocked out. I don't like his music or the attitude it conveys but that was stupid.
You can see it here:http://hitraisers.com/vids/50%20cent.mpg

I went to work in my boxers once in the summer, seemingly having forgotten to put on some real shorts after a long weekend of OMGWTFBBQWHHEEEDRUNKARD. It seems it was hilarious for my employees that their boss walked in half dressed. *shrugs*

**** em.

Oh and once, back when I used to work in a electronics store, a kid came running in screaming and his behind me, hugging my leg and trying to hide from his father. He was crying and begging me to keep him away. The kid was like 7. So the father comes in and sees him and me being confused as ****. I figured at first the dad could've smacked the kid around a bit or seomthing. Eventually I gave up, moved out so the dad could grab the kid, and wished them to have a nice day. That was so ****ing wierd. Hope he wasn't a beat'em'up dad.

I'm a Saturday worker in an office, meaning I only come in for a few hours every Saturday, do some work, and go home. Which basically means I have no idea as to how the rest of the office works, since my only training is on this one program. One time all of the main employees (there's usually a group of about 5 or 6, and three of those will be Saturday workers) were out of the office for various reasons, leaving just me and this other Saturday kid doing our job. So the phone rings, and I answer it. It's a pretty irate shop manager, who apparently has had a problem with one of our van drivers and wants to file a complaint. I tell him there's no-one around who can help him at the moment, but he can call back on Monday when there'll be people in who handle customer relations and such. His reply?

"I'm not happy about there being no-one I can complain to."

I was tempted to tell him he's managing just fine regardless, but I (being the consummate professional :D) simply apologised and told him it's always just us working on Saturdays.

Yeah, not much happens in our office :p

You should've told him to come over, to sign the report, then call the said truck driver and supply the baseball bat.

Hahaha. That's the kind of thinking we need in our office

Teehee

Oh another note : Sajn Potter.

More like Sajn FATTER.

[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort]MPATHG!!!![/QUOTE]

I didn't know what this meant until someone told me that "tracts o' land" refers to Monty . . . Grail.

Last summer:
At work:

some hot goth girl introduced herself, and as usual, I acted un-interested.

Whilst describing our fellow co-workers, she mentioned some guy, think his name was "ian", and she said he acted all camp.

I says "what... is he gay?"

She says "I dunno, I'll go find out"


5 mins later, she comes back from the stockroom saying "hey aeryn, he is gay!" saying it with a face, and giving me the thumbs up.

I was liek wtf and said - " erm, ok cool!" (rather too enthusiastically)

So i think to myself -man i hope she dont think I'm gay, that would be embarassing.

5 mins later, Ian starts trying to chat me up.

"oh crap, you think I'm gay!"

Needless to say I ran off quickly to find this goth girl and tell her I was straight.

"Lol I know"

.... it was all confusing, and embarassing, but it was my 1st day at Next, so whatcha expect.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

That old ***** had it coming for a long time.

And no, this girl is hotter, smarter, and not a slut. Win.

Isnt that illegal? Like if they don't catch the shoplifter in the store, it's up to the police to bring them back in? I heard that somewhere once... like once they leave the store it's akin to kidnapping to physically force someone to come back in the store unless you're an officer.

Probably, but it serves the person right.

And this deli story...does it envolve machines for meat?