Really, after half a dozen (6) pints of beer, then half a (75ml) bottle of vodka, wine needs a screw top.

I'm not talking about the majority of reds and whites.

I mean the bubbys.

Like cava and champagne and all that bubbly sparkling whites.

YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN

the bastards with the corks

that pop

and expand

in a non phallic way

THEY RUIN BOOZE

BECAUSE YOU CANT SEAL THE BOOOZE

I HAVE WANTED TO GO TO SLEEP FOR AN HOUR BUT IF I DONT DRINK THIS THEN IT WILL BE A HORRID WASTE

.

It's a pain, but the fix is to save some old wine corks to use in champagne bottles.

http://www.peksystems.com/

FIZZY WHITES ARE A DISGRACE

AND THIS TOPIC IS PROOF OF A CONSPIRACY THEORY

I dunno, it tastes pretty good to me.

wait

this needs a moral

moral: dont drink a ****ing ****load, then open a bottle of wine with a fat cork

it means you're forced to drink it all.

either that

OR WASTE BOOZE

and seriously, even god, jesus, moses, allah etc all those bible religion people, they werent whiney *****es were they? i mean seriously, surely they had some booze and sex on the way.

oh **** wait, no fun allowed.

[edit]HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i just made a post in an attempt to annoy the jesus folk, aka god botherers... I APOLOGISE, THERE IS A POSSIBILITY JESUS* WILL SAVE THE UNIVERSE AND NOT APPRICIATE THIS ****[/edit]

*replace with any other diety that makes you want to bend over and whine.

Massassi just wouldn't be the same without spe. :p

<3

the real moral:

religious whiney bastards didnt spend time with those corks that got wider.

why did they exist?

EASY

Expanding Cork is the tool of satan.

Anyone who believes in sparking white wine is going to burn in hell.

...who opens a bottle of wine without the intention of drinking the entire thing in one day? seriously, the very thought of it is barbaric to me. I mean, other than restaurants, they're excluded.

and you can use an old slim cork in a champagne bottle and then stick it in the fridge. it'll keep for about a day. use it for mamosas.

i love sparkling wines, followed by reds, rieslings, whites, and then.... ick... rose.

I'm giving myself away as an unsophisticated drinker here, but I prefer even bad champagnes to average reds and whites.

Try hammering the cork in. :p

.....try cutting off edges of one end of the cork and put it in.....it's not that hard...

i have a better trick.

DRINK THE WINE BEFORE.

I'M NOT DRINKING ANY ****ING MERLOT!

This discussion is amazing.

Meh. I don't like wine.

What about cheese?

Do you like cheese?

your mom likes cheese

OH

Don't all fat people?

I like cheese?

Does that make me a fatty?

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

It makes you a frenchy.

i went to a christmas dinner at peller estates winery. it was incredible. they introduced all 6 courses with it's companion wine. and because we did a wine tasting before hand we kind of knew how to drink the wine with dinner.
then a few weeks ago a couple of friends and i went down to peller estates for a the art of food and wine seminar and a secrets of stemware seminar.
they were both amazing. i couldn't believe how different wine tastes in different glasses. we tried 3 reds in 4 different glasses. each red was crap if it wasn't in the right glass. but in the right glass it was such a nice wine.
amazing!

I've always wanted to get into wine.

Its an impressive thing to know about, mostly because of the unlimited about of facts there seem to be.

ban wife with fat chicks?

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}