*sigh*

Some of you may know, some of you may not. I've been a pretty avid 'pro-marijuana' type of person since the age of 16. (22 now)

*sigh*

I've been on marijuana primarily for self-medication reasons. Just recently I've found out I have bi-polar with a bit of mania mixed it. I was just using mj to keep me from getting depressed and/or flipping out and loosing my cool. I had tried getting mental health help before. I was on paxil for a few months and it contained my anger to a point where it felt like it was in my brain but I couldn't access it. (which angered me more) So I turned back to pot. Then I met my wife etc etc and got off of it. A few months later, depression started hitting me again so me and the Mrs went to the Dr (for my second time) to try and get something for it.

The Dr put me on celexa, which gave me flu like symptoms. (vomiting mostly) Went back to the Dr and he thought it might be food poising or the flu, and told me to stop taking it and to try again in a week or two. (when I feel better from flu like symptoms) Tried it, had flu symptoms, stopped taking it and reverted back to mj usage.

Well, all of that happened within 2 years, 2003-2004. I was stoned for all of 2005, which back in April led to me loosing a job over it. (Only had the job for 5 days, kicked *** too )

Well anyway, here I am today, seeking help through the county mental health center. I got fed up of having to self-medicate myself via mj, running out of money and not being able to afford more, etc etc.

Well, got screened and got the semi-diagnosis of bi-polar with mania. I say semi because the social worker couldn't diagnose me with such a 'serious' diag, but was positive (seen cases like mine before) that it was the case.

That was this past wednesday. She also set me up to take Narcotics Annonomous meetings. I'm not addicted 'addicted' to pot, but pretty damn close because stress/depression makes me want it. NA is to have me clean and sober for the medication that I'll be taking when I see the therapist and they prescribe it to me. It's also to help me with the "I'M SO ***** TIRED OF POT BUT I WANT IT" stuff going on in my head atm.

Well, here's the deal of this post:

My best friend since 7th grade has been a major factor in me starting and liking pot. I have to distance myself away from him (and other factors) so I have a minimal craving for it. Well, his mom (also a major mj user for medical reasons) is kind of a mediator between me and him if things get hairy.

Well, the Mrs and her are like girlfriends and whatnot, so she told his mom what was going on and to relay it to him. Well, I got a voice mail message from him basically saying "I heard you were spreadin mine and Mama's buisness all around mental health. That **** ain't cool and if it's true, we're gonna have problems."

I got instantly pissed at him (something that just doesn't happen) and called him back. He answered with a disgruntled "Hello?" and I started my piece: "I didn't say your name, I didn't say your mama's name. I'm going through a really terrible terrible terribly hard time right now, so thanks for jumping my **** for nothing." Then he retorted: "That's not what Linda told Mama!"

All this crap started going through my head about an earlier situation, where his mom fronted me some $30 in weed and I'd have the money to them on the 1st. There was $10 mixed in there somewhere that was going to them before the 1st (cuz I had it) but it wouldn't be on the day I said it would be, because of issues and whatnot. Linda (the Mrs) talked to his mom about it and she understood. (I guess) We get a phone call from my friend and he's livid that I can't pay him on the 1st. I was like "wtf dude? that's not the case" and then he was like "Oh."

Well, in that instant when he said "That's not what Linda told Mama!" all that flashed through my head, and I wanted to say something along the lines of "GOD DAMN ****ING GRAPE VINE ****, WTF WTF WTF?!?!?!" but couldn't. I wound up just kinda yelling/grunting and hung up on him.

I'm so totally pissed at A) Him taking things the wrong way and twisting them around in his head to suit his perception of reality OR B) His mom for being such a god damn stoner, that she can't remember what ****ing day it is.

So now I'm like "**** 'em" and could really care less what happens now between me and him. He just kinda shrugged off my attempts at seeking mental health (before Wed), said **** about "It's not going to work" (he himself went, BUT NEVER TOLD THEM HE WAS USING POT!!!!!) and basically didn't care.

Am I wrong to be totally pissed off??

Yes.

Quit being a huge baby, and hash out your own problems like a man.

All this anger stuff is some seriously teenage Linkin Park listening to crap.

Don't listen to Rob. I don't have any other advice, but the advice I have offered is guaranteed to work.

Also, hang in there, man. You're doing well. Now that you have been diagnosed, it can only get better, right?

Don't listen to Freelancer.

He's a stinky poopy head.

You're...... wait for it........












wrong

There are many things that can destroy relationships, in my experience drug use tends to be a large factor.

Is your friends mom hot?

you're right. you are you and you gotta do what you gotta do. friends are friends but you are you.

was I the only one who cought this?

No.

Wow, it sounds like those doctors put you on all the crappy antidepressants. I mean, Paxil and Celexa work for some people, but there's a reason they're prescribed far less often than Zoloft and Lexapro.

But no, you're not wrong to be totally pissed off, although some might say you took it a little far. You've been through a lot, so it's understandable.

Go beat the **** out of the kid.

Might help with anger too...

[QUOTE=Numenor King]was I the only one who cought this?[/QUOTE]

"Cought" what? He used the word properly. :p

You were...partially wrong. You blew up for nothing. You should have demanded how the claim that you were basically telling other people of stuff came about when you claim you did not. Although, it's really going to go down as a he-said she-said mess with about a 15% chance of a resolution.

HR you have good reason to be pissed off, but I think it's not worth your energy. Right now you had better concentrate on what you think you need to. Being pissed off at him isn't going to solve anything, so I would just let it go.

[QUOTE=Numenor King]was I the only one who cought this?[/QUOTE]


I hope not!

That was a right clever pun if you ask me.

Though it was intended that you'd read "hash out" and think "Stop being a damned hippy."

i would completly agree with this. one bit of advice i would give you is this, dont lend money or borrow money from friends. sounds kind of harsh but seriously. if you can afford to help them without being paid back, or if they dont expect you to pay them back then it cool, otherwise it just gets crap too complicated. same goes for taking something ie: pot, and paying for it later. if you cant afford it now, dont take it. i know thats easier said than done though.

if your friend is freakin out about something that he "thinks" you said, tell him what you actually said or didnt say, and if hes still freakin out about i, then loose him. its not worth it. i know that sounds kind of harsh, but if hes just causing you grief on top of the crap your already going through, then its really not worth it.

Well, today has been quite interesting......

My wife intercepted a voice mail message from my best friend before I woke up. Good thing too because it started off as 'wanh wanh' and went to 'You're lucky I'm not there kicking your ***.'

Somehow, he heard the comment about his mom being so stoned she can't relay crap right. Somehow a phone didn't hang up correctly and it slipped through.

Well, the 2nd nasty gram he left basically severed our relationship. He said I was an idiot for thinking pot was addictive (HA! He's the one who smokes a quarter in 4 hours! I made that **** last a week!) and that I'm a looser etc etc etc self-justification and being deluded.

My wife researched alot of stuff on marijuana since she incercepted the voice mail, and found out alot of stuff. Basically, the growers have cross breeded MJ with tobacco, thereby introducing nicotine into MJ, making it as almost as addicitive as ciggarettes. (which I currently smoke, and plan to quit VERY SOON)

It explains alot of crap that has been happening to me. MJ now has the same withdrawl symptoms as coke, heroin, ciggarettes and alchohol. Aggrivation, night sweats, etc etc, I've had everytime I've been off of pot for more than 2 days. What a f'king eye opener!

At this point in time, I am DISGUSTED with pot and urge anyone who smokes it more than once a week to QUIT! NOW! SAVE YOURSELF BEFORE IT CONSUMES YOUR LIFE! The happy go lucky drug that I thought I could quit anytime has been my worst enemy all along.

Anyway, I'm actually quite elated that things turned out this way. Now I don't have to worry about dodging my best friend because he's addicted and didn't seek proper help. I had actually been thinking about how to best effectively to rid myself of him. hahahaha!

'grats

I'm glad you're getting a handle on your life. One of my roommates smokes it up, and he goes out of his mind after doing without for a couple of weeks. It's pretty sad when you think about it, but I find it quite entertaining. He starts going, "ARGGHHHH I WANT SOME SO BAD!" and I snicker and say, "Stop being stupid. Drugs are bad, mmkay." He then goes bonkers for a bit and tells me that I'm lucky that I've never smoked any, because the mental craving can be unbearable. I am, however, glad that he's stopped smoking for the most part --he spent most of last year stoned off his ***. He really missed out on a lot of things that went on outside of the house because he made the couch his world.

Some people have ****ty resolve.

I had that habit kicked within a day or two.


SMOKING on the other hand.. don't get me started.

Haven't touched one in months, BUT I STILL WAKE UP WANTING ONE W#$^W$^#$H^#W$B^#$^B#$#$%^B@#$^N$#W^#A$!!!!!

[QUOTE=Hell Raiser]At this point in time, I am DISGUSTED with pot and urge anyone who smokes it more than once a week to QUIT! NOW! SAVE YOURSELF BEFORE IT CONSUMES YOUR LIFE! The happy go lucky drug that I thought I could quit anytime has been my worst enemy all along. :([/QUOTE]

There's always people who'll keep using the stuff just for the sake of being 'cool', or simply being addicted. While I'm not using the stuff myself, a lot of my friends do - hey, it's the Netherlands after all. But really, for those who use it and plan to keep doing so: Make sure you get it from a place you know is reliable. It might be slightly more expensive, but it's worth it.

If not; just quit.

My grandpa says (He's been off cigarettes for 11 years now) it never goes away :/

[QUOTE=Hell Raiser]My wife researched alot of stuff on marijuana since she incercepted the voice mail, and found out alot of stuff. Basically, the growers have cross breeded MJ with tobacco, thereby introducing nicotine into MJ, making it as almost as addicitive as ciggarettes.[/QUOTE]

No offense, but I think that's total nonsense. If you 'research' MJ on google you'll find all kinds of anti-MJ sites that tell you this kind of stuff.

I'm not saying you should continue smoking though, don't get me wrong.

If you really think you might be manic depressive, go talk to a doctor. Someone very close to me is a manic depressive, and she manages to go through life fine by taking certain medicines. And I'm not talking about anti-depressives.

Manic depression often has a physical cause; a slight disfunction of the thyroid gland. This can be corrected with medicine. So if you want to be sure what is causing it, go see a doctor. The person you talked to isn't authorized to diagnose you, and like I said it can have several causes, some of which can be treated really well.

[QUOTE=Cool Matty]My grandpa says (He's been off cigarettes for 11 years now) it never goes away :/[/QUOTE]


2463wE$4634N34^n354^45^w2a%@A%BA2w^es5$TBaw5 Bw4Tw4TBws4% BWa4%Hw4s%^w45gws4%w34^wz4T bw4%Tbw34^H346He4T bwrZwR2^3e$%&4e5^Nsr5^UIer^OIw3aYg8uT&^ YUNT8IUY^W#4E MIR%&U*E4wB Anw3

I hereby dub this the "Rob Addiction Encryption Algorithm".

[QUOTE=Hell Raiser]


My wife researched alot of stuff on marijuana since she incercepted the voice mail, and found out alot of stuff. Basically, the growers have cross breeded MJ with tobacco, thereby introducing nicotine into MJ, making it as almost as addicitive as ciggarettes. (which I currently smoke, and plan to quit VERY SOON)

It explains alot of crap that has been happening to me. MJ now has the same withdrawl symptoms as coke, heroin, ciggarettes and alchohol. Aggrivation, night sweats, etc etc, I've had everytime I've been off of pot for more than 2 days. What a f'king eye opener!

[/QUOTE]

Yeah that really is bull**** about the cross breeding. Try as you might to say that it's physically addictive, THC isn't. On top of that, smoking pot has still yet to be linked to lung cancer. I'm not saying its good for you, but surely not the devil you're making it out to be. I've had, and still have friends who are addicted mentally, it's just become a part of their lives. It can really happen to anyone though, you've just integrated various aspects of your life into smoking. You create a balance out of it, you get afraid that you won't be able to do the same things without pot, think the same, etc. On top of that, all of your friends smoke, so it's not the easiest thing to go to their house while they're smoking and pass the opportunity. What I've found though, is that if you simply don't make it available to yourself, you won't notice it. Try going on vacation or somewhere you can't get it, away from your friends or whoever, and see how it works.

Marijuana is really nor harmful in moderation. Just like alcohol. That's what I think.

Unfortunately, it's illegal, so you can get some nasty ****, such as tobacco as well. Of course, I think the occasional cigarette is fine too.

It's when you smoke it often and actually become a 'stoner' that it's no good. Of course, it's not for some people, because some people will, right off the bat, become 'stoners'.

IMO, MJ=not bad if used correctly. Hard drugs=always bad. Tobacco=not bad if used correctly. Alcohol=not bad if used correctly.

Meh.

You don't really start to see what it does to the every day and ocassional user, untill thats been all you've known of them.

My mom's friends forever tell me, how she used to be so sharp..

Too much of anything is bad. I personally believe occasional use isn't harmful as long as it is for entertainment. But if you feel like you need to use it because you can't feel good without it, that's bad. I'd say that that is a larger problem, and the fact that you use marijuana as 'treatment' is only a symptom of the bigger problem, and not the cause. In your case it's obviously only creating more problems, so I definitely think it's a good idea to quit.

But it is a known and proven fact that MJ isn't physically addictive. It can be mentally addictive, but then again, anything can be; eating candy or internetting for example.

That's one of the saddest things. The potential that is never capitalized upon. My dad new a kid, when he was in high school, who was one of those naturally smart kids. Everything just came to him. You know, the kind who'd sleep through the Calculus lessons and get a better grade on the test than everyone else, whatever... but the kid got into pot, and lost interest in most anything but, became a stoner, etc... he didn't go to college, and now, at age 45 or so, he lives with his parents and does odd jobs for his dad to earn his room & board.

True, that is a 'nearly worst case scenario'... I'm not a fan of this "You will get Syphilis and AIDS the first time you have sex before marriage and emotionally destroy everyone you come into contact with' bull**** method of 'teaching' kids. So I'll readily admit it's not the most common scenario ;).


But still it's sad. Saw the guy at my dad's high school reunion. Woooo.