I need to vent this, but the only people I know who I can vent to directly are involved in the matter, and I don't want my problems being a burden upon them. I'd use my blog, but those same people regularly view my blog.

So, as some of you may know, I had the opportunity to go down to Rolla, MO (engineering school) for the big bash concerning St. Patrick's Day, as well as drink with some good old high school buddies. Fun times, fun times.

Then comes Saturday night - foam party at a nearby frat house. Sounds fun. Let's go. I get to be an honorary member of my friend's frat (i.e., my name becomes "Scott [last name]" for the night, as he is on the guest list, and I am not). I get in safe and sound, and enter the main dancing area. As is implied by the term "foam party", there was a party with foam. Lots of foam.

So, my friend is there with his girlfriend. His younger sister (by two years) has hooked up with one of my friend's frat brothers, much to his dismay, and disappeared into the writhing throng that is the party. I, unfortunately, am stone-cold sober at this point. I tried chugging a few beers before going, but those seem to have failed to take effect. Damnation.

My friend tries to urge me to join some girls in dancing in the aforementioned writhing throng. Me, being sober, overthink the situation. Do I just slip in and start dancing? What if I look like a fool? Do I invite one of the girls standing around to dance? Hardly seems formal enough for that.

These issues would have been resolved if I had had a few shots of vodka instead of a few beers before leaving. Hindsight is 20/20.

Eventually, my friend realizes that his attempts to persuade are meeting with little to no success, and disappears with his girlfriend into the writhing throng that is the party.

This is where it gets emo. See, I have never felt "alone" alone. Even when I am physically by myself, I've always had the comforting knowledge of being cared for by friends and family. Well, at this party, by myself in a crowded main hall, this comfort failed me. I had a panic attack, of sorts.

For the first time in my life, I felt truly alone - isolated, separated, "last of his kind" alone. Why? I don't know. I'm used to being "that one single guy". 95% of my friends are couples. So, it wasn't that.

Was it just an unfortunate combination of hormones, timing, and wanting to be with someone? Again, I don't know. What I do is that I somewhat panicked - I had to leave, and I had to leave fast. I was too sober to overcome this issue (i.e., dancing with girls), so the only other choice was to simply run away from it.

I made sure to leave my next destination (the friend's frat house) with little sister, and made an exit from the building. Went back to the house, up to the bunk room, and went to sleep.

So, analyze this, criticize it if you want. I'm just trying to get to sleep, and this has been on my mind for the past three weeks. The only reason I posted it here was because none of you were involved in the situation, and, thus, what happened to me (and only me) that night won't really factor into your future planning concerning me, if it ever does at all.

You're gay.

tofu could be right...maybe you felt so alone because all there were to dance with were women.

I doubt tofu's analysis of my post was that in-depth. :p

Doesn't mean mine wasn't....

Did you just look at my bum, you bum looker?

:em321:

Honestly don't worry about it. Like me you're terrible at doing fun things but eventually you'll meet someone that you can just be yourself around.

Even if it is a man.

Yeah i've felt alone like that too, even now. Maybe we were destined for something/someone greater that won't appear till later ;). Anyways man, hang in there.

Seems to me you just don't fit into the frat lifestyle of foam and whores. That, or you like men, as tofu/Roach pointed out.

What Asp said. I never really cared for such parties. I come back with my hearing reduced by 25%. That or you probably caught yourself looking at man-*** and thus brought the confusion and panic attacks.


Sorry I had to get some sort of minor gay quip in :p

Don't worry, being gay is perfectly acceptable. We support your gay lifestyle, gay Wolfy.

I never really dug going to house parties like that unless a bunch of my housemates went because I've always like hanging out with my housemates more. Always liked our house parties the most jsut because a lot of my firends were there.

Agreed.

did you start screaming like a little girl and ran out? heh.

next time, try drinking pure alcohol. kicks in much faster.

Meh, I've done that more than a few times.

You go to a party and everyone there is from another uni, or they're all hippies, they're all mineworkers or something along those lines.

At any rate, girls or no girls, whether the party is cranking or not, you have dead-**** nothing in common with anyone there, you know abso-****ing-lutely no-one, you're dead sober, you can't get/afford any alcohol and you're frankly just bored.

You hang around for a while, then it's just "**** this I'm off".

The last time I did that I went to the birthday party of a guy who's sister lived with a girl a mate of mine used to live with. As you can guess I knew **** all people there and the party was mostly art students anyway.

I agree with people thinking you're gay.

My friends are always going out to clubs or bars and such, and I don't drink. It sucks when I have to tag along. It's absolutely horrible when everyone else is drinking and you're not. (NOTE I'm not trying to start a debate, just venting). I always end up thinking "If you have to be drunk to enjoy something, is it really worth doing?"

Or maybe I'm gay too.

welcome to my life Wolfy.

Maybe you suddenly realised parties suck, booze is lame, and young people are thoughtless wastes of space ruled by hormones and media culture.

And you, not being that lame, felt different, and alone.

I'm probably wrong.

Rule: Dont go to a party unless you know 50% of people there, especially if you're single.

And if you're stone cold sober, it makes it 10x worse.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

It's the foam. It brings out the gay in you.

Maybe you are.

I can enjoy things drunk or not, pretty much equally too. Sometimes I want the buzz of alcohol, other times it's not worth it.

Pft, the only time it's not worth it is while driving...

or when the queues to the bar are really long, which is actually quite often.

To continue my musings.

It's not the drinking I dislike, it's that everyone here seems like they drink just to drink. They go and sit in the clubs and drink. It's not possible to do anything fun in that environment, but that's where all the "cool" people go so everyone goes. Then, once they're there, they have to drink to have fun. It's an endless cycle that seems pointless and kind of self-destructive.

If everyone got drunk and then went out and did crazy stuff, I would be happier because I can do crazy stuff sober.

Who says you have to be drunk to enjoy yourself at a party? I mean, you can dance, right? So why not just get out there with random chick x? Sure you'd rather have the alcohol, but do you need it.

I'm with Ghorg on this one. I've been to too many parties/get togethers where I have nothing in common with the people there. Conversations just can't last more than a couple minutes. Some people overcome this easily by being extremely outgoing - that is, they have no problem acting stupid to get people's attention. I'm not one of those people. I usually just hang around to find someone I can relate to. If I just leave right away, what chance is there for anything good to happen?

And stop with the gay jokes already. That wasn't funny after the fourth time it was used.

yeah, not enough people do crazyfun stuff when drunk.

I'm extremely self-conscious when it comes to dancing. Usually, it takes a good deal of alcohol to get me to enjoy dancing.

As for parties, I get involved in the drinking games, the video games, the card games, and the general conversation of the place. If I don't want to get drunk, I'll grab one beer and stick to it, or simply stick to games that don't require drinking (see: video games).

Dancing just seems too close and, for lack of a better word, intimate to simply do it with random girl x. That's why I generally need something to help me rid myself of these inhibitions to dance - in most cases, a good amount of alcohol. Thankfully, I don't end up dancing a lot, or else I would have had three liver transplants.

You've just described 90% of the social situations involving many people that I have ever participated in. Maybe 95%. Except I don't really get emo. I'm used to it. I've found that the solution is to stay home and play on your computer.

Gah! Which reminds me, I got talked into going to a dance at some school. I hope those things don't last too long. *Sighs*... maybe the refreshments will be good.

Heh.

solution: turn black

that way your natural funk will allow you to dance like a well oiled machine of sex.

but yeah, gay.

Even more heh, looking at your name. :p

That's funny, because you contradict your name every time you post. Maybe Emon does too?

*dances with wolfy in a more nerd-like manner to look like the worse of the two*

You're going to go oh-so-far in life.

Freelancer likes deleting posts where he says Obi_Kwiet will go farther in life than me. Let's all point and laugh.

Wimp.

"That's mighty gay of you, Tom"
-Huckleberry Finn

You don't know the regret associated with not drinking until you've gone to a frat party, walked back home with a cute drunk girl who wanted to hook up with you, and had to decline because you were cold sober and not a complete *******.

[QUOTE=Dj Yoshi]You're going to go oh-so-far in life.[/QUOTE]


If this keeps up I'll become the nerd equivilent of gollum. :p

[QUOTE=Michael MacFarlane]You don't know the regret associated with not drinking until you've gone to a frat party, walked back home with a cute drunk girl who wanted to hook up with you, and had to decline because you were cold sober and not a complete *******.[/QUOTE]

then you don't have the regret of doing it and waking up in the morning going "WTF" even if she's cute. it's always surprising to wake up somewhere else, or at your place with someone else.

unless of course you're in that sort of thing and knock up a different girl every day.

I didn't need to be blacked-out drunk in this situation -- she certainly wasn't. I just needed not to be sober.

yeah, a little moral help from booze never hurts.