The rules are simple. Type something. A sentence or two works. Alternatively, you may select a random post from a different thread. After you've got something, use a thesaurus to make it sound as pretentious as possible. There are some good online thesauruses such as http://thesaurus.reference.com/ and http://www.m-w.com/.

Here are some tips: don't mess with idioms and cliches because you'll lose the original meaning of the statement. Stay away from Jon`C's stuff. I doubt you'll be able to make any significant changes to it. Finally, thesauruses can't read your minds. While they will provide you with potential candidates, many of them will not work in your sentences. Your sentences must be coherent, even if you don't know what all the words in them mean. A dictionary is helpful for determining if a word choice makes sense. Don't trust your thesauruses blindly.

Here's an example.

I dont think you understand the seriousness of the situation. Your nuts would be gone. That would mean no future little Yoshi's running around...

becomes

I surmise you don't fathom the solemnity of the status quo. Your gonads would be defunct. That would connote an absense of forthcoming junior Yoshis scampering about.

Can the above give a sentence for the below poster to change it? It seems more interesting that way.

Sure. That sounds good.

Maybe I'll start:

The dog was running down the street really excited and hit his head on a milk truck.

The canine was skedaddling down the thoroughfare unquestionably enthusiastically and walloped his cranium on a milk buggy.

I had the best experience of my life when I was a young kid. I went to an amusement park in another state. I was so excited the night before, I couldn't sleep.

You create a vacuum.

"When I was but a small child I experienced the most elation I have ever had the privilege of enduring. I journeyed to a park meant for the amusements of all peoples, in a yonder faraway state. My excitement was so overwhelming that for a full twenty four hours before the trip I could not seem to get an ounce of rest."